DAY 14 - A NONFICTIONAL BOOK

(NOTE: the link to the original image has 404'd and these entries were written before I got into the habit of captioning them so I don't know what book I chose anymore and the entry itself offered no clues, just that it "was a very interesting read". So although this entry was originally posted to That Other Journal on December 31, 2009, my choice will be from August 14, 2013)

The Big Bang Never Happened by Eric J. Lerner

I think it's safe to say that the claims made in this book are not supported by today's science or else we would be hearing more about this guy. However, in my impressionable college days, I found what he had to say interesting even if it's ultimately false.

I came across this book in my college's library. I don't remember what made me want to read it. It wasn't an article in a magazine nor was it the kind of book you could read in a day. Nevertheless I read it and was fascinated by it enough to buy it later and even read it more than once (something few books I've read can claim). I guess you could describe the feeling I got from this book as something akin to when college students first encounter things like libertarianism and other idealistic philosophies.

It's been a long time since I've last read the book. One of the claims that stuck with me was the idea that the universe isn't all matter but half matter and half antimatter with the two separated. What we call the Big Bang was in fact in a big bang. It was the coming together of matter and antimatter that produced the Cosmic Background Radiation but the energy of the annihilation would ultimately prevent all the matter in the universe from annihilating. The points of annihilation would provide a barrier that the remaining matter and antimatter could not cross. The visual example was that of a Leidenfrost layer. You see that when a drop of water is put on a very hot pan. The water which comes in contact with the pan immediately boils but the drop remains longer than it would otherwise because it floats on a layer of steam. The annihilations would become that layer of steam that kept the matter and antimatter apart long enough to separate as the energy of the annihilations would reverse their trajectories.
     Modern theory calls for CP-violation (charge parity) which allows for a very slight excess of matter to be created over that of antimatter. Something with the behavior of quarks. I guess in its own way CP-violation makes more sense because matter and antimatter are created in pairs very close together. The book would seem to imply that matter and antimatter could generate very far apart somehow. But at the time, I believed matter and antimatter could only be created in equal amounts so the idea that there could be one extra particle of matter for every million seemed ridiculous. Another reason this book spoke to me.

The book also calls for the universe to be eternal in age and gives a lot more weight to forces of electricity and magnetism in shaping the universe. It also discredits the existence of dark matter citing them as unnecessary or resulting from mismeasurement of galactic motions. He mentions that the dominant phase of matter in the universe is plasma which is atomic nuclei stripped of their electrons because they are too energetic to retain them. The Sun is comprised of plasma. Atoms are electrically neutral whereas plasma is not. Plasma has magnetic and electrical fields and Lerner describes a universe whose large-scale structure is dependent on the infinite fields of magnetism and electricity. Or something like that.

Regardless of the science which comes later in the book, I liked the history lesson in its early chapters. It described that how cultures viewed the universe depended on how well their societies were faring. Societies which were doing well and expanding tended to view an eternal universe whereas failing societies viewed a universe with a beginning and ultimately an end. He posited that the Big Bang is a popular theory because our society hasn't created anything new in a long time. He pointed out the last big creations were things like the internet, landing on the moon, and lasers...all of which were made in the 1960s. You might say cellphones, but cellphones are modern telephones and telephony has existed since the 1870s. Lerner said that since we're stagnant creatively we are imagining a universe which must end but should we break out of this and become ascendant again, we will imagine an eternal universe once more.

I guess I recommend the book if only for that. Yeah, I read it before the internet and Wikipedia so finding criticisms of it and disproving science is not difficult now but in 1998 the internet was still modem-based and limited so I remained a believer longer than perhaps I ought. So read it. Read it like you would read an opinion which contradicts your own in order to better inform your own opinion.

DAY 13 - A FICTIONAL BOOK

:-P

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 30, 2009)

DAY 12 - WHATEVER TICKLES YOUR FANCY

Another one of these days, huh? Since the past few days have been photographs thematically, I will stick to that. Today will be a picture that makes me laugh:

Absurdity at its best :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 29, 2009)

DAY 11 - A PHOTO TAKEN OF YOU RECENTLY

(again, the photo will not be included --- it's of me doing putting on that serious look that gets captured when trying to figure something out with your camera and then accidentally taking a picture of yourself)

This was taken on December 20, 2009 right after our first major snowfall of the season. I was trying to set up the camera for a shot that later wouldn't come out right and this was the one I took before I remembered to set the timer. :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 28, 2009)

DAY 10 - A PHOTO OF YOU TAKEN OVER TEN YEARS AGO

(I'm starting to wonder if I should have ported this meme over to Blogspot from That Other Journal now --- again the photo will not be included for reasons stated in prior entries. It was of me and my friends from college taken during a photo session in the Spring of 1999. Everyone is smiling and having fun in it except me. I really really want to believe I was putting on that look because the rest of the group was obviously going for silly. I was being used as a footrest by B5 Pusher so maybe, just maybe, I was going for that Flintstones animal rationalization "It's a living" look...probably not...sometimes I wonder why people even want me around)

An easy one today. Just barely qualifies too. Spring 1999 semester with all my friends at college.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 27, 2009)

DAY 9 - A PHOTO YOU TOOK

(photo will not be included as it violates my personal Blogspot policy of not using real names and showing identifying pictures of people in my life --- the noticeable aspect of the otherwise uninteresting photo is that it was clearly taken from a child's height)

I decided to go with the earliest picture I could find that I took. This one is of my Mom and Brother by a Welsh Farms in 1986.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 26, 2009)

DAY 8 - A PHOTO THAT MAKES YOU ANGRY/SAD

The photo speaks for itself. What were you doing when you found out?

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 25, 2009)

DAY 7 - A PHOTO THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

(in keeping with my Blogspot rules of not using real names and posting photos of myself or the people I'm talking about, this photo will not be included --- use your imagination instead...or if you know me in real life, contact me and I'll show you...it was described as "weirdorable" in one of the entry's original comments)

It's a picture is of me and my six year old cousin tugging on my ears. It makes me happy because she actually delights in having me around and is probably the first child I've been around who does so. It's one of those small things that goes into elevating my spirits by making me feel like less of a monster. When I go over to my Uncle's house, she comes over to play with me. I guess she's lucky that I really have nothing I'd rather be doing so she gets to monopolize my time while there. Fine practice should I ever actually end up with children of my own before I become too old to do so.

(originally posted  to That Other Journal on December 24, 2009)

DAY 6 - WHATEVER TICKLES YOUR FANCY

I hate when the choice is mine. That's not my strongsuit... Not in the slightest. A blank page is incredibly difficult for me to create on. It's either an ability which has been lost or withered from disuse or simply suppressed through shame. But no matter what the reason, pulling things from the void is a frustrating experience. Throw in any limitation, any boundary, and it becomes that much easier to work with. Mine is a mind whose strength comes from bounded infinities, not unbounded ones. So, on a day like this (and the other days in this meme where I will choose something for my own to do), I will face difficulties. However, this one is overcomeable simply because I can enforce my own limitation: I will base today's entry on one of the previous ones.

Seeing as how it is almost Christmas, I will choose today my favorite Christmas song. And that is "Marshmallow World" as performed by Darlene Love off the album A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector; an album, which in my opinion, contains many of the definitive versions of the Christmas songs we are subjected to each and every year.


"Marshmallow World" as performed by Darlene Love
ADDENDUM: I take that back... I just found my new favorite Christmas song:


"Must Be Santa" as performed by Bob Dylan
(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 23, 2009)

DAY 5 - YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE

"Do not multiply entities beyond necessity"
This is, of course, Ockham's Razor. It has also been put as "the simplest explanation is most often the correct one". It is a useful maxim to live by and one that I attempt to employ whenever possible. It has very likely contributed to my apostasy which began in steps when I was as young as 10 and before I'd even heard of this quote. It has also taught me to be aware of confirmation biases both in myself and in others. In other words, do I believe the information being presented because it is correct or because it fits in neatly with my world view? I would tend to believe that any worthwhile explanation could only conform to Ockham's Razor provided that my belief in its rectitude or falsehood is not required as I would then be that unnecessary multiplied entity.

Kosh's saying to Delenn, "The truth points to itself" I take as a retelling of Ockham's Razor. In other words, the truth does not need me for the truth to exist. The truth simply is... whether we accept it or not.

Have I failed in living up to this maxim? Most certainly. And I will certainly falter now and again throughout my life; but this is a quote that I try my best to live by.

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity" is a close second for me.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 22, 2009)

DAY 4 - YOUR FAVORITE BOOK

I have to admit I'm not much of a reader and while there's nothing in the title of this entry forbidding certain subject genres, I've always taken "book" to mean a work of fiction and that's where I'm gonna go with this.

I have read very few works of fiction since graduation. I blame that not entirely on the "being forced to read" for school; but rather, being forced to read solely from certain genres. Perhaps had I been introduced to science-fiction in high school or, perhaps more radically, to books that are actually funny...I would have a far larger mental library from which to choose. I didn't even know works of fiction could be funny until college. I believe it was in Good Omens that I first encountered genuine funny in books. But that won't be my favorite book.

Instead, that honor goes to: Space Cat by Ruthven Todd.

This brings me back to fourth grade. My teacher had a library in miniature in the classroom for us to read during, well...reading time. I remember no other books from that year except this one. I read it over and over and even jealously kept it in my desk so no one else could read it. Near the end of the school year, the teacher had us all return the books. I swear I didn't mean to, but I had completely forgotten to take it out of my desk. So instead, I secreted it into my bookbag and took it home where it would remain until sometime during high school when Mom would unceremoniously throw it out during one of her cleaning sprees to rid us of old junk we weren't using/playing with anymore.

I specifically remember the book introducing me to the verbal phrase, "had had". When I first saw it, I thought it was a misprint and delighted pointing it out to Mom who then showed me that it was indeed, a correct expression.

The story itself involved a stray cat being found by a pilot who would go on to be on the first piloted mission to the moon. The cat was christened "Flyball" and somehow the space agency (I forget the justification) deemed the cat worthy of being sent into space and being the first animal to walk on the moon. Some of the science was vaguely sound, like zero gravity and the moon being rather desolate. But it did feature life of sorts on the moon inside of caves. And it was these "sticky buttons" which Flyball would ultimately use to save the life of the astronaut whose helmet had sprung a leak after an accident. The cat was a hero folks! I'm sure it can be found summarized better elsewhere, but that's what I remember from a book I probably haven't read since 1988.

Space Cat was truly one of the few books I have ever delighted in reading not only more than once, but many times over. Something I can't say of any other books I have read since then. I highly recommend it to the 9 year old in you. :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 21, 2009)

DAY 3 - YOUR FAVORITE TELEVISION PROGRAM

Again, I'm assuming that this is an all-time thing. For me, it would have to be You Can't Do That on Television during the heyday of Nickelodeon. No matter how many times I had seen a particular episode, I would cheerfully watch it and all its repeats whenever and however many times they aired.

The show also ties into one of my very few direct memories of Grandma. She was babysitting my Brother and me downstairs in my childhood home when the show came on. She was unaware of the running gag of various absurd shows being pre-empted so that YCDTonTV could be shown instead. That day happened to be one where the show was pre-empted by itself. ("You Can't Do That on Television will not be seen today...") I remember explaining to Grandma that they always did something like that when she remarked that Brother and I would have to watch something else.

I remember having a slight crush on Stephanie Chow, an ongoing theme perhaps of my early childhood seeing as how in third grade, I had a boyhood crush on a Japanese girl.

I was happy that Nickelodeon, for its 20th birthday, back in 1999 decided to air many of its old shows including YCDTonTV throughout the weekend. They were focusing on "Nickelodeon Knew Them Then" so the two episodes featured Alannis Morrisette. I wish there were more but that would have to wait for µTorrent :-)

Truly, it is a show that could not be done on television these days for children. One of the episodes featured in 1999 showed kids in the school hallways with guns and later the principal breaking into one of the kid's homes with an automatic weapon (the parents wouldn't believe that the principal was out to get him). There were no muzzle flashes, just sound effects; all in good fun, but impossible to do today not to mention the obviously Nazi dungeon warden and El Capitano and his incompetent firing squad. I highly doubt that even the choir boy scenes would go over well today either. Since the show is not available on DVD, torrent it and enjoy it all over again or just YouTube whatever you can find. It's well worth it!

On a sad note, earlier this year, Les Lye passed away at 84. He was the man behind the show as well as every adult male character.

Read it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/24/arts/television/24lye.html

There's also the Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You_Can%27t_Do_That_on_Television


You Can't Do That on Television intro
(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 20, 2009)

DAY 2 - YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE

I'm honestly not sure what my favorite movie is. I am much more of a television person than a movie one. There are a lot of movies I have liked, but none jump to the forefront like yesterday's song did. It's entirely possible that I have not yet seen my favorite movie yet and that's why I'm having such difficulty coming up with an example.

For now, I will say, "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut" simply because it was consistently funny and that I got to watch it for the first time with many of my dearest friends. In this case, I will let the experience trump the content.


"Blame Canada" by South Park
(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 19, 2009)

DAY 1 - YOUR FAVORITE SONG

My favorite song is "You Won't See Me" by The Beatles. The only fault I have with this song is that it fades out too quickly. Of the many, many songs that I like that I have heard many hundreds of times over my years, this one has never lost its appeal. While I find "In My Life" to be, in my opinion, the best song ever written...I find myself enjoying this song better and in this case, enjoyment trumps lyrical wizardry. :-)

Enjoy!


"You Won't See Me" by The Beatles
(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 18, 2009)

30 DAY MEME...

Make one post per day for the next thirty days to your Blogspot for each of the following (in order of course!):

Day 01 → Your favorite song
Day 02 → Your favorite movie
Day 03 → Your favorite television program
Day 04 → Your favorite book
Day 05 → Your favorite quote
Day 06 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 → A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 → A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 → A photo you took
Day 10 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 → A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 → A fictional book
Day 14 → A non-fictional book
Day 15 → A fanfic
Day 16 → A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 → An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 → A talent of yours
Day 20 → A hobby of yours
Day 21 → A recipe
Day 22 → A website
Day 23 → A YouTube video
Day 24 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 → Your day, in great detail
Day 26 → Your week, in great detail
Day 27 → This month, in great detail
Day 28 → This year, in great detail
Day 29 → Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 → Whatever tickles your fancy

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 18, 2009)

I FUCKING HATE COMPUTERS...

I am just coming off about 21 hours of dealing with my computer today. It started with a Blue Screen of Death (BSoD) this morning at 5:30 a.m. I couldn't even get to the account screen nor last good configuration nor any of the available safe modes. I found a diagnostic utility in one of the boot-up options and after six hours or so of testing, my computer concluded that nothing was wrong with the physical components of my system... hooray...

I got out the Installation Discs that came with my computer and reinstalled the O/S after I was told it would not affect my data files. That worked, but then began the frantic saving of critical files and triaging of the rest on my ever decreasing stack of DVDs and CDs, several of which were wasted because my CD/DVD burner has decided to become unreliable as well. My system crashed and I had to reboot. This time, it worked; but now began the endless update cycles. After five hours of this, I finally reached a point where I could go out and buy a flash drive for critical stuff and a back-up hard drive for the large data files unsuitable for DVDs and CDs (aka video files). I got home happy that I would be able to get this done only to have, as soon as the back-up hard drive made contact with the USB cable, the BSoD appear...again...

Very annoyed, I went to Microsoft Update and made sure everything on my computer was up to date. After another four hours of updates and restarts, I reattempted the Back-up hard drive install...and got the BSoD again immediately. No help could be found online but I took some comfort in the fact that others have had the same one. The supporting website for my product offered a solution, but it didn't work for me. So, I'm stuck...at 3 a.m. with only half the progress made. Critical files are backed up, yes; but the sorely needed backup drive is an utter failure meaning I'll have to walk again to the mall to replace it with another and still have to walk to work again later that night.

I'm so annoyed...and tired...and hungry...

ADDENDUM: My computer was finally up and running acceptably at about 7 a.m. Therefore, 24 hours spent on this thing. Score another one for tenacity [stubbornness]! The next day, I walked to Best Buy to return the hard drive. I settled on getting four 16 GB flash drives that were 50% off on sale. Cool. I'm figuring that if I can't get everything of importance to me on 80 GB, I have too much. My critical files (scans, photos, writings, programs I created, etc.) all fit on one of those flash drives with plenty of room to spare. I didn't even need five, but I'll rotate two for the critical stuff monthly. :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 16, 2009)

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT THE CHRISTMAS TREE SHOP SELLS VIRTUALLY NONE OF...

I went out shopping yesterday because I decided that I would actually like to decorate my room a little bit for Christmas. I have this small dresser that is perfectly suited for placing an artificial tree between three and four feet tall upon. When we were living together, my Best Friend had just such a tree. I figured the best place to go would be The Christmas Tree Shop because well, it's in the title...it feels rather obvious don't you think? One of their stores is just across the highway from the Mall...just in range. I set out and got lucky in one sense: About a third of the way there, my friend Shortii saw me, picked me up and took me the rest of the way saving me some wear and tear on my li'l footsies.

I get there and am greeted by the Salvation Army bellringers, none of whom were being pushy so I told myself that I would get to them on the way out. I go inside the Christmas Tree Shop and am immediately taken by an obvious lack of Christmas trees available for sale. Mind you, this is December 8th so it's not too late in the season for me to think I ought to be able to find one. Their selection of small table trees was pitiful at best. For a store calling itself The Christmas Tree Shop, you would think it would be a little more heavily weighted in Christmas-themed offerings. I know such a store could not survive the rest of the year on such a theme, but this is not the rest of the year...this is Christmas goddamnit!

Anyways, the tabletop trees they were offering were of a truly shitty quality and all were "pre-lit". I DON'T WANT LIGHTS IN MY TREE! Why is simplicity so fucking difficult to find these days? I have no outlet for such a tree and even if I did, I have no desire to light it up anyway. I just want a simple, somewhat realistic-looking artificial tree whose branches are strong enough to hold up a heavier-than-normal ornament. I cannot find such a thing. I'm not gonna buy the peripherals without the centerpiece.

I left the Christmas Tree Shop, put $20 in the Salvation Army pot, and went to the adjacent stores Ikea and Bed Bath & Beyond. No luck in either store. The first of two patterns that I had noticed in all my (attempts at) shopping were that all these stores offer a wide selection of peripherals: ornaments, wreaths, lights, wrapping paper, candles, holly, wintery themes, snowglobes, etc. but the tree selection was shit: poor quality, pre-lit (I saw one with fiber-optic branches), or with crap in it like artificial poinsettia flowers or glitter that I don't want either.

Since the Mall was across the way, I went there and learned again that pedestrians are truly the scum of the earth for urban planners. I don't get why sidewalks are on the bridges themselves (and usually on only one side too which strikes me as odd), but once you're off the bridge, they disappear. At best, there's a guardrail I can walk behind on muddy grass next to the road...otherwise, it's a shoulder. And while I get that phony courtesy from drivers on lightly-travelled suburban roads -- you know, when the driver waves you to cross when they're the ones with the right of way or they signaled their intent to turn so I stopped at the corner waiting for them to turn...but they let me go anyway. I fucking hate that...JUST GO!!! I'm not in a hurry, I'm walking...it kind of implies leisurely. Just go and don't give me your bullshit kindness -- That "courtesy", however, completely disappears when near the Mall. A pedestrian is the equivalent of a hamburger wrapper caught in the breeze floating across the street. Light's green on your side? They don't give a fuck. A gap wide enough for you to finally cross through opens up? Eh...I'll make my turn now and make you keep waiting. Crossing the street on the clear? They don't give a shit, they're turning right in front of you, missing you sometimes by inches. I had that happen in my old apartment...it threw my mind for such a loop that the only "rational" response I was capable of was desiring to throw a rock at that car like an angry monkey. The side-view mirror came within six inches of me and he crossed in front of me while turning off from the main road onto the side road I was still crossing. But I've digressed...

In the Mall, I checked out J.C. Penney's, got distracted by a Christmas-themed temporary store, and then went in Macy's where I had originally planned to go before happening on the Christmas Tree Shop idea. Nothing. And here I stumbled upon the other pattern: All of these stores had higher quality store decoration trees than the ones they were offering for sale to their customers. I don't get that at all. Macy's actually had what was probably one notch below what I was looking for (the needles could've looked better). It was definitely acceptable, I would've bought it. Problem? Store decoration...not for sale. What they were offering? A far inferior product... I don't get it. I really don't.

On the way home, I checked out the local CVS out of desperation...nothing. I went to National Wholesale Liquidators...no table top trees. I finally went to the Home Depot. The Home Depot had a surprisingly large selection of trees, both real and fake. Home Depot had a far superior selection of trees than did the Christmas Tree Shop which, quite honestly, I find inherently wrong... Home Depot came close. I was tired. I was ready to accept even a pre-lit tree but again, I could not find not only what I was looking for, but not even something approximating what I was looking for. Annoyed and disappointed, I went to the local pizza place, bought a pie, and went home to watch Tora! Tora! Tora! like I was supposed to on the seventh.

I'll just have to try online...but this is really something that needs to be checked out in person before buying. Sigh... I just don't get it. Simplicity is probably the hardest thing to find. I remember when my CD player's laser broke, trying to replace the unit was difficult. I wanted a player that had as few moving parts as possible. That meant it just held one CD at a time...none of this multi-CD stuff. I wanted a cassette player on it, a radio, and an auxiliary port since I had just recently purchased an XM radio. I also wanted all the functions to be on the unit itself and for it to have as few bells and whistles as possible. I don't need a graphics equalizer with actual graphics; I don't need a clock; just a simple stereo system. I ended up, in frustration, getting one that came with a remote. The unit itself, has every function except, for some reason, a button to access the auxiliary port. You need the remote to do that. So now I keep a remote around simply so I can listen to my XM. It's also impossible to program a CD without the remote either. I don't get it...why is that so hard? WHY DOES EVERYTHING COME WITH A FUCKING REMOTE CONTROL?!! But I digress.....

ADDENDUM: This is the result of all my stress. I spent the following Monday looking for tinsel to wrap the tree with. Again, I found nothing at mall but this time, my desperate bid at CVS actually paid off and CVS was thus duly awarded with additional purchases of wrapping paper and tree ornaments.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 9, 2009)

ANY TAKERS?

I was just on the phone with Best Friend and it led into another argument. When I mention my friends and family don't like her, she understandably gets defensive but quickly becomes a regular Torquemada demanding specifics for why she isn't liked. I can't provide specifics because I generally don't remember them. I remember the "echo" of the situation. What matters to me is the behavior, not the specific example. I don't know how to prove to her that she's bigoted and likely racist; but I've recognized the behavior from the examples I've heard in the past. I've pointed out that the majority complaint I get about her is that my friends/family don't like the way she treats me/that they feel like she takes advantage of me. Again, no specific examples but I do have the sense of entitlement behavior understood.

      So, as the title of this entry suggests...any takers? You are welcome to spew your venom here without fear of retribution. But I do request specific examples so at least I can arm myself for our next, inevitable confrontation. While I don't intend to use any of your names, you can assume that she's smart enough to figure out who you are. I'm kinda working on the assumption that none of you honestly care if she likes you or not and that none of you are actually seeking her friendship. I wish more of you on here have met her... Every job she's ever had, she's never been liked. You can forgive the first and second ones as simply bad luck, but you've established a pattern by jobs three, four, five, and six. You guys here are about as close to coworkers as one could hope for. So by all means, speak your mind. :-)

ADDENDUM: I was just thinking. I mentioned how I remember only the "echo" of things. My mind is very analytical by nature. I care about the behavior more than the event probably in the same way that a mathematical proof is more important than a single (or even many) examples. I guess you could think of my mind as a kind of improv troupe: Once I know the behavior, you can toss out situations and churn out the appropriate response. Give me an emotional state, a place, and a situation... :-p

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 7, 2009)

[a comment received]

From Roommate: I dunno, man. I mean, there's not much I can say here that I haven't said in person. Mainly, it's that she not only says shitty and stupid things, but the tenacity with which she defends them. I'm sorry, maybe this is wrong, but I'm of the belief that if you're spewing offensive crap about a particular group of people and someone says "Hey, I'm part of that group," you should apologize and shut up. When she was here the other night, saying all this very racist stuff, it was like walking onto the set of West Side Story, and the fact that she said it all very calmly rather than foaming at the mouth with a hate sign doesn't make it any better. In fact, it kind of makes it worse. Look at Lyndysty, that chick who was all into Vir. She was a fucking sociopath and a massive racist, and it wasn't lessened just because she talked about it matter-of-factly with a dazzling smile. She is, in my view, very willingly ignorant, and that makes it impossible for me to respect her and massively difficult for me to like her. And then there's how she treats you. She comes over here and acts like a fucking Diva. Not that I mind terribly lending someone my pillow, but I'd rather have lent it to you, who didn't even have one since you were SLEEPING ON THE COUCH. She just seems like a very shallow, selfish, narcissistic person, and she doesn't deserve you

WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT SONG?

     Search and search as I might, I still not have located the artist or title to some song I hear at work. Lyrics searches have proven futile and no one I've spoken to has ever heard of it either. How frustrating! With luck, it'll turn up in search engines eventually; but for now, I'll just have to toss it to you guys.

     I have some lyrics and fragments. This is what I've gotten (not necessarily in this order):

"Something tells me I should skip this drink" (start of the song)
Things could change the moment I (think?)
I don't think they're coming for me ever since I dared to arrive
Until the moment they go away from here
I can't rest my mind 
Something tells me this is not a paranoid assumption to be lightly cast aside"

"I've been trying to sleep with open eyes
According to my calculations they'll be here before sunrise
And please don't you look at me this way
You'll find out first hand why
When they come around"

"I don't want to be found here..."

And as soon as they go away from here
We can both learn why...
Something tells me logic's a position I'm certain I'll be wishing was(n't) right"


[inaccuracies in these lyrics are entirely possible but I thought for sure "paranoid assumption" would be enough for a search engine!]


"What's the Name of That Song?" by Sesame Street
ADDENDUM: I contacted Muzak regarding this when I found out they offer help to those wanting to know the name of the songs they hear at stores. I haven't heard back from them yet and I contacted them on November 1st. With luck, this stupid mystery will be over soon.
     November 24th and still no answer. Sigh...

     Well, at least the MUZAK site shows the last ten songs played in one of their windows. If I'm patient, it should show up eventually...

     That patience has finally paid off. The song's title is "Greeting Committee" and it's by a group calling themselves The Pillbugs which I personally find all the more interesting given the sheer number of pillbugs we had crawling around this apartment shortly after the quest to find this song began. One of those cryptic otherworldly won't-figure-it-out-until-it's-too-late kind of clues I suppose. ^_^ I immediately purchased the song online because well, I had to. There was no way I was letting that one go unanswered. So congratulations Pillbugs, you are officially a few cents richer on account of me. If you put "Pillbugs - Greeting Committee" into a Google search, it should come up on a site called LaLa and you can listen to it there. My mind can rest now...

ADDENDUM II: I just got a message from Muzak saying the song was "Rhythm of Life" by Oleta James... WRONG!!! :-P (January 20, 2010)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on October 17, 2009)

8-TRACK PORN

I had no idea stuff like this even existed. A listener to the Opie and Anthony Show sent this in a while back. You've gotta hear it to believe and the commentary on it is fucking hysterical. Enjoy!




(originally posted to That Other Journal on October 10, 2009)

THIS IS LIKE FINDING THE B-SIDE TO "COME ON EILEEN"

They were talking about the top cover songs according to I think Spin magazine today on Opie and Anthony. It was another one of those "Too cool for the room" type lists, omitting many truly awesome covers and giving other ones (like Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy") far too high a place on the list. But then as soon as Bow Wow Wow was brought up, I got to wondering what else they had done. Quite a drop-off...but then, is that really a surprise when a band puts out as its single a song they didn't even write? Please to be enjoying! d(^_^)b


"Do You Wanna Hold Me?" by Bow Wow Wow
And speaking of which...


"This Is What She's Like" by Dexy's Midnight Runners
I wonder what Timbuk 3 followed up "The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades" with? (Did you really think I wasn't going to search?)


"Life Is Hard" by Timbuk 3
(originally posted to That Other Journal on October 7, 2009)

YEAH! WAIT, WHAT?

For those of us who have seen the anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion, click on the link below. You will enjoy it. :-)


Yeah, that about sums it up

(originally posted to That Other Journal on September 9, 2009)

OR DOES IT...?

     I received the check for Best Friend's and my security deposit yesterday. We got the full amount plus the paltry interest it earned (all $7.66!!!). From the amount of damage Best Friend did to the drywall because she just had to have curtains, I thought for sure we'd get hit with something. Also, it was damaged the whole time but neither of us noticed until a few months after moving in, one of our kitchen cabinet drawers was broken. The panel you'd pull to open would occasionally just fall off.  But nothing. Best Friend was right that I was worrying too much so now when I tell her she's getting the full half of the deposit back (plus all that interest) minus the cost of the final PSE&G bill which she has yet to pay me for...only been a month!...when I tell her that nothing was deducted, I'll just have to take it as she gloats in her rectitude. I guess she's gotta have one, right?

     And thus ends our tumultuous year together.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on August 28, 2009)

WE ARE ALL KOSH...

Here's something completely pointless and probably won't work right but will nevertheless amuse for a few moments because well...we're us.

www.toppa.com/ask-kosh/


Try it and feel free to comment me on any good ones you managed to get.


ADDENDUM: The above link also offers a download of various things Kosh had said over the course of the series. Most notably absent was "And so it begins" (which would make for a good Windows Start chime)...How could you not have what is probably (thanks to Season 5) the most famous thing Kosh has said. And of course, no matter where I go, I can't find a site that lets you download the phrase, it's only for playing on Quicktime...ugh. Now I've gotta do it myself...

(originally posted to That Other Journal on August 28, 2009)

FOR THE WANT OF AN APPROPRIATE TITLE...

MY LIFE ACCORDING TO...

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Re-post as "My Life According to (band name)"

Pick Your Artist:
Billy Joel

WI-FI SO LA TI

     When I visited Roommate at our new apartment last week, I noticed that we both have desktops which isn't good when you only have one modem and limited lengths of wire. So I went out and bought a USB Wi-Fi adapter for desktop computers. It works great...in fact, I'm using it now. I almost swear it does a better job than the modem itself. Odds are, I'll lend it to Roommate since his room does not have a phone jack in it so unless our antique walls have some sort of natural Wi-Fi signal blockers in them like my place of employment does...everything should flow smoothly and we can share a connection with no hassels...as soon as Verizon delivers :-)

ADDENDUM: And oh was that a story...

I'm a bit hungry and tired to compose right now. Let's see, short version. (Verizon) Modem arrived when it was supposed to. Somehow I received two on two different days. Both units functioned but could not get a signal. Returned the one sent in error while Verizon worked on the problem. I was told the problem was two line signals were being sent through the same wire and that cancels them out which is why I wasn't receiving a signal. Somehow this wasn't a problem that could be resolved by pushing a single button like you think it could be. Needed a tech to come to the apartment. Tech did not show. Verizon, I quickly learned, is the Queen of Hearts. You cannot do anything with Verizon today, only tomorrow. Tech finally came several days later. The guy was very nice and worked diligently pointing out degraded wires (which he replaced or otherwise fixed). Ultimately, the problem was determined to be at their end. Had to wait...again. Much yelling on the phone would follow when the time came and the modem still was not receiving a signal. Stubbornness reigned supreme for almost a month before I surrendered and went to Cablevision for internet (I avoided them before because I had problems with them while still living at home). Cablevision beat Verizon and I have had no problems with internet since but it took a good month to get the problem resolved which was, admittedly, partly my fault because I did not just call Cablevision right away.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on June 9, 2009)

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

This goes out to those of you who have actually met my Best Friend.

     She's convinced that all I do is talk shit about her to my friends. Human nature aside, I have to admit I don't exactly go around praising her even when I could be.  Right or wrong, I'll chalk it up to Dog Bites Man = Not News.

     I guess I'm just curious what any of you could say about her that's positive...not so much so I can go tell her this, but more so for my sake.  She and I will eventually reach that crossroads again and I certainly wouldn't mind entering into it armed for once.  I'll just cobble together the responses and put them together in my own words.  Your opinions will of course be kept confidential (at least outside the That Other Journal club). =]

     This isn't about dog-piling on her with negative comments although I'll permit a one-for-one here...that is, for every compliment you can give her, you may offer up a detriment. :-p

     Thanks for your help!

(originally posted to That Other Journal on June 2, 2009)

ABOUT A MONTH TO GO...

I'm not gonna get into details this time, but suffice to say, Best Friend and I got into yet another big fight over something ridiculous -- did you ever notice that in your life? The less important something is, the more vehemently and savagely it will be fought for/over? Then again, maybe it's symmetrical: Civilized warfare for/over important issues/themes and Savagery for petty issues. I dunno.

      Regardless, the end result was me spending last Friday morning moving my computer into my already small room. Much to my chagrin, the phone jack in my room is not connected to anything so the easy wiring job became unnecessarily complicated to get the telephone wire into my room. Probably for the first time in my life I wish I had a laptop...maybe the next upgrade -- do they make A/C adaptor male plugs that securely fit into the female plug of the laptop? Best Friend's one just keeps slipping out with only the slightest touch [insert slutty computer joke here].

      My room is essentially a slider puzzle now. In order to do anything, something else must be moved out of the way. The arrangement I'm sure could've been made more optimal, but wha'e'er, I just need out of her sight to get some peace and if I can only achieve that peace by holing myself up in my room and effectively ceding 80% of the apartment to her for a month, then so be it.

      Roommate and I made the final arrangements securing the new apartment yesterday and it should come as no surprise that problems are attached, hopefully all minor. I can't help but think we should've taken the other 2BR apartment we saw together than the one we actually got. The first thing I noticed is that while all the keys I was given fit in the locks, none of them are actually capable of locking/unlocking the door so new keys will have to be made lickety-split (yes, I wrote that). The mailbox keys, however, do work swimmingly [yes, I wrote that too]. I swear I smelt urine in the stairwell which may not be surprising since the apartment is open...what's to stop (hopefully) an animal from making a pitstop. The closet door in the large bedroom still does not open...it's really stuck good despite the fact that Roommate pointed this out when he first saw it...I hope this isn't a sign of what is to come.

      I'm gonna go back later today to make accurate measurements, take pictures, test the appliances/outlets/faucets, locate outlets/radiators and other fixtures, check for insect/rodent infestation, check the carpets/fixtures to make sure they're secure and undamaged, find out who our the cable provider is and parking regulations for same, etc. Despite all this, I feel like I'm gonna like this place. The liaison to the landlord is very laid-back...almost too laid-back like she's a con artist who's not actually employed by our Landlord (oh yeah, and completely batty) =]. The lease explicitly forbids putting an air-conditioner in the window, but they clearly don't care which I like [hell, the liaison's office has one!]. The only potential real problem I can foresee is our neighbors. I can only hope that we're not surrounded by dickheads who will complain at the slightest noise...especially when I stay awake all night when I'm home. I felt quite a lot of relief my first night in my current apartment hearing the downstairs neighbor blasting the TV at 3 a.m. I can only hope for a repeat of that and that seems likely as our little block has a lot of tweens/teenaged kids in it. =]

      I've gotta free up some space in my current room stat so as soon as Roommate starts moving in, I'll have to ferry some of my smaller clutter over. I look forward to a more peaceable and uplifting existence and even a renewed lease...I hate moving this much. I think I'm up to ten times now :-/

      Best Friend and I will definitely need to take a break from each other. We're going to my cousin's wedding this Saturday so I've been keeping this intention from her. I don't intend to break all contact...just casual contact. I will still be there for emergencies such as if she gets hospitalized or one her (grand)parents should die, but the quotidian stuff I intend to relegate to e-mail/AIM/MySpace until such a time as I wish to include her again in my life more typically.

      And finally, I'm fucking tired of ants! Holy shit how many have been crawling in lately! I've got bait stations everywhere and am now in this uneasy situation whereby I'm no longer killing the ants on sight because I want them to discover the other form of death I've provided them. I can't tell if it's working yet...it's been two days and the package says to wait at least three to begin noticing results. I'm starting to think this poison Fipronil works a bit too well as I've been finding dead ants in the bathtub. If they're not making it back to their nests to tell the others about this tasty treat they've found, how am I gonna kill the queen? Ugh...I'll just have to see what happens as the week progresses. These ants remind me of the only thing I genuinely hate about apartment-living: your apartment is only as clean as its dirtiest tenant. Stupid insects...why must you be so vital to the food chain?!!

(originally posted to That Other Journal on May 12, 2009)

BRAKIRI SPACE

It turns out that my Best Friend and me have come to the same conclusion separately. The day after Roommate stopped by for him and me to discuss in secret our plan to move in together, Best Friend mentions to me that she has been looking at condos/apartments in areas closer to where she works. That was a relief!

I was worried (in an admittedly paranoid way) that Best Friend would not take the news that I would eventually have to tell her well. In her anger, she has threatened to break my things (not that she ever has), so I was seriously considering a secret, sudden move-out about a month before my lease had terminated. That is to say, while she was at work, I would abscond with all my possessions and those things which I had paid for (whether I needed them or not) leaving only a note. I really, really did not want to do something like that, but considering how poorly she's taken breakups with boyfriends in her past, I felt it necessary to imagine worst-case scenarios rather than take the far more reasonable approach of assuming her to be a rational human being. I am such a paranoid douchebag at times (this, however, does not mean that the fantasy of doing this didn't feel awesome) =]

Very thankfully, it will not come to that. Roommate has found an apartment. What we need to do now is set up an appointment so we can pay exorbitant fees, get our credit checked, and sign the lease papers. It's just down the road in another part of this multi-owner, massive complex. I'm marginally closer to work, the rent is less than what I'm paying now, and it includes heat and hot water. Mom showed me some additional apartments that I didn't know about considerably closer to work than I am now. I'll have to call on them anyway as they're all advertising available apartments, but not being specific about it. I'm sure this place is similar to what I've got now. We've got some discussing to do, but I'm looking forward to it overall.

I am truly glad to be able to move openly now. While I enjoy moving in secret, I don't enjoy doing so at another's expense and no matter what I've said in this forum, Best Friend is my best friend and I love her dearly. The fact that I've even considered doing something so dastardly to her makes me question more so what's wrong with me rather than with her. I'm not proud of those thoughts. :-/

I just hope they're willing to wait until at least June to let us start a new lease. I wouldn't want things to fall apart at the last minute forcing both Roommate and me to scramble for separate apartments.

Also, it looks like Roommate will be able to claim two more notches in my social advancement. I'll likely get a cellphone after all this time (even though the land line has proven cheaper than Best Friend's plan) and should have enough spare cash each month to (maybe) finally license up and join the driving world. The latter will have to wait until I have an idea of what it'll cost to live there. I don't want to have to get a second job if I don't have to...it'd kill what's left of my soul =]

(originally posted to That Other Journal on April 15, 2009)

STUPID LIBRA IV

Wow...a bit angry in that last entry! This is one of the dangers of writing things down. :-)

I just wanna let you all know that I'm better now. I've calmed down. I've since talked to my Best Friend and again, like we always do, we've made up and made our conciliatory gestures. Hell, I've even got some space in that closet now -- now I can stow my winter blanket and a few other things that have been simply getting in the way in my room.

When I get mad, I get really mad...which is why I try not to get to that point. Best Friend and I tend to yell at each other quite a bit. However, it's not unproductive even if at first it comes across as such. Through all the loudness, we're both actually listening. We're similar in that neither of us want to concede when we're both hot. It's most frustrating, but cooler heads ultimately and always prevail with us...even if it takes a day or two. We both know what we did wrong and apologize for it and move on from it. That's what we do. Our fights are not our proudest moments, but we do get ultimately closer as a result. No matter what I say about Best Friend here, I love her and I have for a very long time. We're not going anywhere. We'll continue to learn how to work together and how to live together and neither of us will ever abandon the other. That's how it is and how it will continue to be.

I thank you for your sympathies when I'm mad, but just know that that's all it is...anger. I will calm down and see the situation more clearly. Please understand that I would never have stayed with her for as long as I have if she were truly as bad as I make her out to be. No news truly is good news and anger is prone to exaggeration. I'm sure you all have your own horror stories :-)

'Til next time.....

(originally posted to That Other Journal on March 30, 2009)

MY FRIEND MUNTADER

I so wanna write now, but I don't have the time to go into any sort of detail...maybe when I've finally finished what I'm supposed to be doing, I'll elaborate...I should elaborate. Hopefully I'll remember the details by then. Again, my Best Friend's just making me miserable. We were doing good for a while...you'd think by now that I would recognize that our getting along is the anomaly; that her actually having a positive outlook on life is simply unusual. It's just so really frustrating. I've gotta get out of here...I just don't know if I can afford to on my one job alone... I don't wanna have to work two jobs for just me...it would destroy me to work so hard for no one but myself...

We were yelling arguing (shortly after she opened the windows too...excellent timing Best Friend) almost instantly after I told her that if we were to renew the lease that we would be paying an extra $10 each per month. She seemed genuinely surprised that costs go up over time. She later said that she "knows" these things, but sometimes I wonder. She's just like my customers at work...they fight tooth and nail over pennies. She's then railing against our apartment again and how much she hates being here because it's so small. She again mentions that she feels bad that I live in such a tiny room (she shows this sympathy by -- I'm stuck saying "refusing", but it goes beyond that -- refusing to give me the half of the hallway closet that I deserve (I'm paying half the rent after all...we each have a closet in our respective rooms)). I don't even have a shelf in the linen closet nor do I have one in the medicine cabinet behind our bathroom mirror. Somehow I tolerate this. I'm even stowing our fan under my bed instead of in our closet. That's gonna have to change as things I've inherited from Dad can go nowhere except beneath my bed for the time-being. I know this is gonna result in an argument. She uses the argument that she has more things and therefore is entitled to the space instead of renting a storage space for her winter clothes during the summer and vice-versa. I've suggested the storage space only to get a...uh...indignant reaction like the very idea of her paying extra to store her extra things we don't have the space for is somehow absurd. It's never "I must have too many things...maybe I should get rid of some of it", it's "the apartment's too small".

She shows no sense of generosity. The whole time we've been here, she has never once brought home dinner for us and I've taken her out no less than four times since being here (and I'm not counting the first week we were here before we had a table and we had to eat out practically every night. She did pay for one dinner...after I had paid for four). I know it sounds petty; but again, the idea of her treating me to something only gets her to react to the very suggestion as though I am again somehow being absurd.

She often points out that I don't wear fashionable clothes as one of the reasons girls don't find me attractive. I've told her that I wouldn't know what to get and that she could perhaps help me get something only to get her to tell me that she doesn't know how to shop for guys (which I don't get because she should know what would look good on me even she couldn't imagine it...that's what shopping's all about, right?). I remember during one such argument suggesting that we go out together and she help me out by buying me one outfit that she thinks I would look good in, just to test it out. I don't even think I finished my sentence before I got an indignant reply about why should she have to buy me anything. Again, I'm not begging for gifts, but a recognition that I've bought for her (with money I could've easily spent on myself when she didn't have money herself) numerous outfits, shirts, dresses, pants, skirts, and shoes over the years would've been nice. I'm not looking for dollar-for-dollar compensation because I'm not like that...but not even once? Am I so very wrong for wanting to be treated once in a while? When Roommate showed up at my old place with a bag of Dorito's corn chips (the good kind) the week after I had either praised them or complained about how my place of employment no longer offers the house-version of corn chips anymore -- whatever the reason -- When Roommate showed up a week later with a bag of corn chips for me, he showed me more generosity in both thought and dollars than my Best Friend has in probably the last five years combined (and I'm not counting the Bon Buffet dinner she treated me too when we moved here because she openly admitted having felt bad that I was picking up the tab on so many dinners...negates the spirit in my mind).

I really feel like I'm losing her and yes, that bothers me. And it bothers me even more that she doesn't seem to have any clue that this is so. I've told her that to her face and I don't think it even registered. Have I really wasted almost fourteen years of my life on her? Have I?

I mentioned to Best Friend that based on intelligence from a friend at work, there's a customer (who's a friend to two regular customers and an employee) who likes me. I'm told she's shy and that's why she hasn't been saying anything. I feel all secret-agenty since I'm not "supposed to know this information" telling her to have her friends become a bunch of noodges to get this thing moving along. I'll see where this goes. I'm skeptical, but glad to have some potentially good news. Anyway, I tell this to The Vegan and I get the friend reaction which crudely summarized is, "That's good to hear. I'm happy for you. Good luck!". I tell this to Best Friend, and the reaction is immediately how this negatively impacts her. Something along the lines of, "Great now you'll have a girlfriend and I won't [have a boyfriend]" and since she's young (likely 19...not too thrilled about that honestly, but whatever), she goes on (since she's 29) about how she thinks it disgusting that guys go for girls that young and I shouldn't be -- like I was going for this girl...this is just as much a surprise to me -- and blah, blah, blah, me, me, me. Not once was she happy for me. I would've even accepted the proceed with caution sentiment of "Don't get your hopes up in case this doesn't work out or even happen". That would've been fine, believe me. But no, it's all about Best Friend because...why wouldn't it be. I don't think I've ever been around anyone so negative. She's so corrosive. Sometimes I really do believe that she is incapable of feeling happy for another person because the idea of caring for someone who isn't herself is just...alien. And if I don't talk to her for a while, I get shit about how we never talk, or hang out, or do anything anymore and I just can't get it through her seemingly retarded head that it's her. I've only yelled at a few people in my life. I've yelled at Mom, my Brother, I may have yelled at Dad once but I honestly can't recall because I kind of remember Dad yelling at me once, but for what, I can't remember right now. I've yelled at my Coworker and I, of course, have yelled at Best Friend...many, many, many times. I've had customers piss me the fuck off and I've never yelled at them. I'm surprised, honestly, that I've ever yelled at Coworker...I'm usually better than that. But outside of him and my family (which may be par for the course and therefore discountable), Best Friend's the only person I yell at and regularly too. That can't be good. I don't like raising my voice. I don't like passionate arguments...it's not my style...and yet...constantly with her and only her...

And she'll hit me on occasion. She poured water over my head once. She threw her shoe at me yesterday. I'm tired of her shitting on this apartment. I know it's not perfect, but I can't get it through to her that being within walking distance of my work was a precondition of me moving in with her. Since we moved in, I feel I can take it that she has accepted such an arrangement...or has she? Every time she puts this apartment down for being too expensive (never mind she only pays HALF the rent...good luck finding a 2 BR for $662.50), puts it down for being too small, puts it down for her being unable to entertain guests for the aforementioned reason...I can't help but feel she's expressing resentment for having moved in with me. And she will mention that she could've gotten a bigger apartment for less, but couldn't because of me since I can't drive (and can't afford to without a second job now). So, I yelled at her. I'm tired of hearing this. I told her to just go and get one of these bigger, cheaper apartments. This is over a ten dollar increase in our respective shares of the rent. She denies this, but it was at that point that the yelling and indignancy began, so I feel that this is the case because if it weren't, then why the yelling right after I brought it up? I told her (from the kitchen) that she has two options: She can either just find another bigger, cheaper apartment elsewhere like she claims she can and shut the fuck up or she can stay here with me and pay the extra ten dollars a month and shut the fuck up. There really are no other options. I then hear loud, approaching footfalls and feel a heeled shoe strike me on the back.

She has not apologized for this childish reaction, nor has she ever apologized for striking me or pouring water on me or messing up my desk when I wouldn't give her a stamp (she had over three months to get stamps of her own) among other such reactions and wonders why I hold such resentment for her. She's actually told me that she hates that I get mad at her for things she did in the past...like I can get mad at her for things she hasn't done yet. I may as well...that would be a page out of her book...making up a fact, deciding that it must be true, and then accepting it as true. An example of this is her obsessive attraction to a man named First Angel who dicked her over (both senses). She'll see that he friended some eighteen year old girl and decide that the reason he did so is because he's fucking her. And then in the next sentence she'll say something along the lines of "I can't believe that he's fucking her. What does he see in her?" Remember, this is based on nothing but her supposition. She made it up and then decided it was true. After all, this knowledge came from Best Friend and Best Friend's a reliable witness.

I lost my place...I'm frustrated and mad. I'm trying to remember when Best Friend was last my friend, but I honestly can't give you even an approximate year. And if her behavior during Dad's funeral counts...she actually gave me three whole days of not being her selfish self...and all it cost me was my father. If I only had ten dads who could've all died sequentially...I could've had a whole month of peace. She's a parasite. We must have been symbiotic at one point...but those days have long since past, haven't they?

I guess I did have time :-/

P.S. -- I found twenty dollars at work tonight. The past two times Best Friend and I fought majorly, I've found money at work. Should I take this as the universe itself actually feeling pity for me? :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on March 26, 2009)

WAITING FOR HER COMPUTER TO RECONNECT

40 secrets about yourself:

- - be honest no matter what - -

A MUSICAL SURVEY: PLEASE TO BE ENJOYING

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on SHUFFLE
3. Press PLAY
4. For the first question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the "NEXT" button twice
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...just type it in man!
7. Tag 10 people, and they have to do it too :)
8. Seriously. Don't cheat!

FUN WITH FOOD

I mixed some Chik'n strips and some real chicken into a stir fry I made on Sunday. Aside from not liking how baby corn tastes from the can, it turned out tolerably. The chicken strips were too thick and should've been cut more thinly, but otherwise there were no problems. It's still too messy to prepare...I think I need a wok...or at least a larger pan than the one I'm using. :-)

I found the chicken substitute tolerable. The makers are definitely counting on the eater having not had plain chicken before. The spices used definitely reminded me of a recipe I've had before. They were a bit rubbery for chicken but softer than a beef rib steak...kinda like an over-microwaved chicken nugget in strip form. Aside from cost (about 4x as much as chicken), I had no concerns taste-wise consuming them.

For curious vegans out there, my Best Friend was an unwitting blind taste taster. I asked her of the meal this morning and she told me that she liked the thinner strips (the chik'n) better.

The meal itself, aside from the inclusion of precautionary chicken stir-fry strips, was not vegan. I was annoyed to discover the stir-fry sauce contained both whey and oyster extract (whatever that is). However, there is a brand sold at work which is vegan so that'll be my stir-fry brand henceforth after the final serving of the one I have is gone.

I can use these chik'n strips in future stir-frys and even add them to marinara sauce. So I guess I can assume that a beach-head has been established in what was once 100% Omni territory. Over the meals I tend to make over a two-week period, that would make me -- and Best Friend whether she likes it or not (price you pay for not cooking I suppose :-p) -- about 14% Herbi dinner-wise [and 50% breakfast-wise (up from less than 10%), 95+% lunch-wise (pretty much unchanged), and 75+% snack-wise (up from probably less than 50%) for those of you keeping track].

I don't know how much more I can do, but the successful test run of seasoned soy strips (Chik'n) serves as a go-ahead to attempt the fake beef in the future. Beef will be more difficult to substitute as I do tend to eat it unseasoned as beef is a naturally flavorful meat, but I'll try it once...at least. :-)

One of these days I'll tell Best Friend. But for now, she will remain my vegan guinea pig.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on March 3, 2009 at 7:10 a.m.)

FUN WITH CENSORSHIP

For those of you who haven't seen it yet, David Byrne's "Toe Jam" -- Enjoy!


"Toe Jam" by The BPA and David Byrne
Am I the only one who's tired of rap cameos (or really just any dischordant cameo (cf. No Doubt's Rocksteady album for several examples) in music? I'm not sure what I dislike more, this or outright stolen music being passed off as your own (e.g. Gym Class Heroes "Cupid's Chokehold" which uses Supertramp's "Breakfast in America" throughout). Eh...whatever...enjoy the song! :-p

(originally posted to That Other Journal on February 23, 2009)

DRAWING ANALOGUES...

I'm starting to wonder if you have to prepare for the barber like you have to prepare for the dentist.

Just like you're supposed to brush your teeth before seeing the dentist, I wonder if you're supposed to shave before going to the barber?

I usually only shave once a week as I have no one in my life to make me want to shave on a more regular basis. I went to the barber on Monday very close to the end of my cycle. After cutting my hair, he proceeded to fashion my teenager beard and mustache into a goatee (something I had tried doing a few months ago only to abandon it because my facial hair, after sixteen years, has yet to fill out. On the basis of the growth patterns I have noticed, I could probably do effectively those Civil War mutton chops, but that's about it). Maybe the barber was bored or he didn't quite hear me, but he finished the job even though I fully intend to shave it off today.

Oh well...

:-p

(originally posted to That Other Journal on February 11, 2009)

STABILITY...HOW I LOVE THEE

I found out yesterday that I won't have to be moving after all. Hooray!

My Best Friend, as I think most of you have heard by now, was itching to move out with her new friend Tank Girl whom she had formed a fast bond with via Tank Girl's social connections and steady availability to go out. I have no hard feelings about this at all and am genuinely happy that she has found someone with whom not only can she go out, but who also has the kinds of social connections that I could only dream of. I was very annoyed at her announcement, feeling vaguely betrayed. She was slated to move out this April. I had petitioned Roommate to move in with me, but circumstances on his end put a stop to that. This Monday, I had planned to go looking around for an apartment in the area that hopefully I could swing with my current part-time job plus a second even more part-time job.

Then, last night, my Best Friend told me of her reservations. Tank Girl, from what I gather from Best Friend, is rather needy and demanding on top of a sense of entitlement. Best Friend doesn't like how pushy Tank Girl's been becoming with her. She's also feeling like she's being set up to be used by her (That's my job, damn it!!!) for all sorts of trivialities (very recent examples: Tank Girl inviting Best Friend to a movie but having Best Friend purchase the tickets [I'm working with the assumption that Tank Girl would pay her back], but for some reason [I honestly forget why at the moment], Tank Girl  needed Best Friend's credit card info to purchase them. Best Friend wisely refused it to her and told her to wait for her there at the theater until she got there [Don't ask about it, cuz I don't know the details really. I'll consider addenda if I learn more]. She's also "inviting" Best Friend to come help her do her laundry. Tank Girl doesn't have a car by the way (but she can drive). Also, Best Friend doesn't like how she's being pressured into moving in with her so quickly (Tank Girl originally wanted March...April was a reluctant concession on her part)

Anyhow, Best Friend told me that she doesn't want to lose her as a (socializing) friend. She's glad to have the excuses she has and hopes that they'll fly with her (My finances make it nearly impossible to afford an apartment in this area and the second of three people I would ever consider living with being unable to join me [i.e. I have trust issues]). I wish her luck with that. Best Friend really does need to go out more and she won't if she loses this connection. She needs girlfriends, even if their personalities suck, to go out with and have fun. And yes, there is a selfishness to all this as well. A happy Best Friend tends to help out more. A happy Best Friend isn't a drag on my good and neutral moods. A happy Best Friend is generally pleasant to be around.

Anyways, I'm thrilled to not have to be moving. It's been such a relief stress-wise. It sucks that I still have to walk 2½ miles to get to work, but that's definitely a small price to pay. Plus, I've learned that rents are going down nationwide due to this lovely downturn brought upon us. I would think rents would go up as the competition would increase with more people seeking rentals considering they can no longer afford houses, but as it turns out, bad economic times cause people to seek roommates instead to save on costs leaving more vacancies. I'll have to keep this in mind as we may now have some negotiating power with our landlord. Hell, if it stays flat, I'll be happy. Inflation was 5% last year, so zero increase is basically 5% off the new lease. :-)

(originally

THAT "25 THINGS" THING...

Write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING SORT OF DIFFERENT (at least for me)

For those of you who have not been keeping track, I am fast approaching my eighth anniversary at my current place of employment. In all that time, I've met quite a few people and a number of them have become workplace buddies. Some have given me rides home and a few have taken to trusting me with their personal issues which is nice and all, but in all this time, I had yet to take that next step with anybody where I got invited out with them. Y'know...to be real friends and not just the workplace kind. Don't get me wrong, I've received the casual invite of "Oh, we should (definitely) hang out some time", but no one has ever followed through on it.

The Security Guard has taken a liking to me over the past half year or so. He's given me rides home and he'll speak with me frequently at work. So far, everything's typical. He's suggested that I go out with him and his friends, but nothing ever came of that except for one that got cancelled last minute (which is also, unfortunately, all too typical as well). But he did come through with this past Sunday's Super Bowl (am I "allowed" to use that here, NBC? or must I say "Big Game"? Ugh...). I had to get up several hours early, but Security Guard and his wife took me to meet his family and dogs. I had a good time overall. The dogs liked me (small dogs, don't know the breeds). I even rode a quad with his brother on a frozen lake. I'm not gonna get into details, cuz like my times at college, so much of it was contextual and you-had-to-be-there type stuff. His family is a lot of fun and very welcoming. My favorite was his mother, who comes across as quiet and demure, but will throw a line in (delivered calmly too) that does the mental equivalent of the needle sliding across the record (dated reference ehv-rih-BAAAH-day!).

The food was good and the game was actually engaging for a non-football watcher (I know the basic rules and scoring system, but that's about it). He's definitely interested in having me come to additional gatherings. My skepticism is still up...it has to be, but I look forward to its weakening.

p.s. The reason Shortii doesn't count is because of a technicality. While, yes, we have hung out...we never did so until after she quit.

IS ANYONE STILL READING THESE?

MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!

WHAT?! YOU'RE STILL READING THESE THINGS?

COUNTDOWN SURVEY

VINDICATION?

My Best Friend and me went shopping yesterday for food and I got the result I was looking for. After itemizing the receipt for her food, my food, and shared food; the balance was that I was responsible for 47% of the bill and she, 53%. Very close to the 50/50 that I had been advocating since the start. It may have been a coincidence or maybe this is the way it's always been (don't feel like going through months of receipts to prove it). Either way, I win :-) -- we're 50/50 again on the receipts. Math comes through for me again! :-D