Wow, I haven't posted for a while. It's certainly not for a want of things to write about. I'm just not doing it. A symptom of depression? I don't feel depressed but I guess that doesn't mean I'm not.
It's strange. I have free time, roughly the same amount of time I've had since starting this blog, yet I feel like nothing is getting done in my life. I've cut things out of my life, like Opie and Anthony, which were great consumers of my free time yet I did more then. It's like what once took me a minute to do is now taking two minutes. My "work" has expanded to fill the time allotted to complete it and perhaps beyond the allotted time. Is it because we have a MUZAK player at work that I've been listening to far less music at home? I used to watch all my weekly recorded television during the week I had recorded it. I did a Babylon 5 rewatch for two months this year and while that created a backlog of television on my DVR, I had a backlog before that point, and I watch less TV now than I did when I started this blog. I also have a bunch of movies, some more than a year old on my DVR still unwatched not to mention DVDs which were purchased that are still in their packaging.
While having a girlfriend, yes, is technically taking up some of my time, Costello is not taking up that much of it, so I don't know. Is this one of those sea changes in my life? Things sorting themselves out and resettling into a new paradigm? I'm still thinking it's a quiet depression because I want to do things but I'm just not finding the motivation to get any of it started let alone done. I've been wanting to try my hand at drawing again - I haven't done so with any seriousness since 2000 so yeah, it's been a long time. I've wanted to try making a drawing which would be suitable for a Facebook cover photo but not only have I not done so, I haven't even touched one of my drawing pencils. I remember just wanting to color again but could not find any coloring books that weren't about fucking cartoon characters. I just wanted nature scenes or even cityscapes and to buy me one of those Crayola 64 color crayon boxes and have at it. Mom got me a colored pencil kit and some pictures to color in. I don't remember what year it was but I had the boxes before I moved out in 2008. They're still there...unused. I want to color them, but I haven't done so.
Maybe it's money? It's been tight since living on my own. I'm pulling a profit but not enough of a one to justify buying more than necessities and to treat myself once-monthly to Chinese takeout. I've been using my Income Tax refunds to buy fun things but the things I like are expensive so that money got used up pretty fast. I want to save at least 10% of my income annually. So far this year I seem on track to do just that, but that means I won't have any extra for spending on myself. That in of itself is depressing. It would be nice to just be able to get stuff. It makes me angry at my last roommate because I was finally at a place in my life where I could afford to start buying stuff for myself again whether frivolous or to grow my coin collection, and I did start too - first time in three years - and it felt nice...like I had surmounted a hurdle, and then my roommate loses his job and decided that having one wasn't all that necessary throwing my life back into a chaos. I've been living in this apartment long enough now where I can start seeing year over year expenses and they're not good. I don't have a lot of leftover cash and most, if not all, of that is already set aside for retirement savings or gets eaten up by inflation.
I feel my thoughts wandering on various subjects...at least my mind is still active. At this point, I'm not even sure if I want a girlfriend but I'm not acting on it because she's still new and that has been my modus operandi all my life: opposition to change until the change becomes normal and then changes to that become opposed. It's like my Dad would tell me: when I was young, I didn't want to go to the beach. I would complain the whole way there, but once we got there and I found things to do, I didn't want to leave. Yes, I was a jerky kid :-)
But I asked myself, if this does not work out with Costello, then what? And as of now, I feel like I would not try for another girlfriend. I feel like I've gotten what I had wanted and that it would be enough. I could live my life no longer wondering.
Like I said, I'm probably going through another depression or I'm being that jerk-ass kid again and soon everything will be "normal" again...
Showing posts with label roommate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label roommate. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
NEStolgia
The original Nintendo Legend of Zelda is the best of the Zelda games I have played [FULL DISCLOSURE: I have played (and beaten) the original, Zelda II, and A Link to the Past (SNES) and have seen Twilight Princess in action] and I'm not saying that as some sort of obsessed fanboy or because the game genuinely is better (odds are it's not), but because unlike later entries in the series (and this applies to Metroid too), you are not limited to a set path. Afterall, the game is labeled on the cartridge as part of the "Adventure Series" of games available for the NES at the time and for me, part of the adventure is the ability to not only explore, but to discover the path best suited for you and the original Legend of Zelda offers these options.
Take the Dungeon Levels for instance. Yes, they are all numbered 1 through 8 and yes, that is the suggested order but note I said suggested and not required. In fact, the first time I beat the game I went to Dungeon Level 7 last simply because I could not find it (I even remember exactly where I was when I found it too). To this day I don't know what inspired me to play the Flute in the fairyless pond (all the other ponds have fairies) because nothing in the game up to the point ever suggested that playing the flute there would cause the lake to drain revealing the entrance (except for the cryptic clue: "THERE ARE SECRETS WHERE FAIRIES DON'T LIVE"). Later games required you to enter the dungeons in a precise, unalterable order, but in the Legend of Zelda, it was perfectly possible to complete any of the first three dungeons first and in any order. Going after Manhandla first would be a difficult task for a three-hearted Link and his wooden sword (or five hearts and the White Sword if you scout around first), but not impossible. In the First Quest (not as familiar with the second), it would be perfectly possible to assemble the Triforce of Wisdom going through the Dungeon Levels in this order: 3, 4, 5, 7, 1, 8, 6, and 2. And I'm talking completing the Dungeons, not entering and doing a grab-and-dash of the hidden item(s). That makes for increased playability as there is more than one path to your goal. Only certain levels require you to beat another one first.
An additionally enjoyable aspect of the Legend of Zelda for the NES is the fact that it is not required of you to find every item in the game in order to complete. I like the idea of optional and not some fetch quest to go get an item that is only useful in one particular instance (I'm looking at you Quake Medallion and Spell and Thunder Spells!) and while the game does have a few such items (the silver arrow being the most conspicuous as it is needed to defeat Ganon), they do not reach the level of padding that other games in the series manage to achieve. Items you don't need to complete the game include the White Sword, the Magic Sword, the Magical Key (opens an unlimited amount of doors), the Boomerang, the Magical Boomerang, the Letter (as well as the potions you can buy once you present this letter), the Red Candle (can be used more than once per screen), the Magical Shield, the Power Bracelet, the Magical Rod, the Book of Magic, the Blue Ring, and the Red Ring. There are also Heart Containers and additional Bombs you can purchase that aren't necessary for Link to complete the game either. That's a significant amount so how hard you want to make the game is up to you and that pleases me greatly.
When Zelda II: The Adventure of Link came about, this all went away. Now the Palaces had to be completed in numerical order; items could only be acquired in a more-or-less precise sequence; and it was nearly impossible to complete the game without getting every single item in it even if those items were essentially one-use gimmicks. In the Legend of Zelda, Dungeons had locked doors and keys, but it was not always necessary to open every locked door allowing you to hoard keys for later. It was even possible to buy keys from Overworld merchants. In Zelda II and A Link to the Past, every dungeon's locked door was necessary to open and there were only exactly as many keys as needed to open them. There was a skeleton key in Zelda II but it was only available for us the Sixth Palace and the Final Palace. Items like the Blue Mail and Mirror Shield in A Link to the Past were only available in specific Dungeons and only then...never earlier through cunning or luck whereas in the original game, both the Magical Shield (blocks almost all shots the regular shield cannot) and Blue Ring (halves your damage) could be purchased in shops. You could have these things by simply grinding enemies in the Overworld to get Rupees and buying them before entering even the first Dungeon Level. Again, with the original game, options abounded depending on your level of prowess/insanity.
Additionally the Legend of Zelda came with a genuine Second Quest. When you beat the game (or simply cheated by making your character name ZELDA), you were given a new quest. It featured the same Overworld but with different locations for the Dungeons and secret places. It had completely different Dungeon Level layouts. It had additional features not found in the first quest like the Old Man requiring you pay a "door repair" charge and the more sinister "LEAVE YOUR LIFE OR MONEY" which, if you haven't learned your lesson from the First Quest to keep lots of Rupees on hand ("I BET YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE MORE BOMBS") when in Dungeons, you paid dearly for it with the permanent loss of a Heart Container (unless you somehow still only had three hearts when encountering him). It also featured new things like the Flute opening up more secret passages and the ever-strange walking through walls. Some walls in the Dungeon Levels were false and you could pass through them and they could be either one-way or two-way apparitions. They did not reveal themselves with Bombs so you just had to try and see what happened. It gave a whole new element to the game to work with. It also introduced different versions of some enemies like the Stalfos which now shoot sword beams at you and the Bubble which in the First Quest merely prevented you from using your sword for a few seconds upon contact (no damage to Link though). However in the Second Quest the Bubbles came in a red form which permanently took your sword away and a blue form which gave your sword back (you could also get your sword back by having your life restored by either a fairy or by using a life potion - apparently also by playing the Flute...I never knew this). Like in the First Quest, neither Bubble would physically harm Link. Zelda II had a technical Second Quest but it was identical to the First Quest. The only difference is that you started with maxed out Attack, Defense, and Magic which although a letdown in terms of having a new challenge, it is totally fun whaling on enemies in the early Palaces with your overpowered sword breezing through enemies that initially gave you such trouble. The early stages of the Second Quest in Zelda II could easily be subtitled "Link's Revenge". A Link to the Past has no Second Quest.
I've never played later games in the series. I only witnessed my (now ex-) roommate playing Twilight Princess and noticed undesirable features that I find are common in modern games like a guide (in this case Midna) that tells you what you're looking at or what to do instead of having you, the player, figure it out for yourself. In addition to the above-mentioned problems with having a precisely laid out path (despite it being an adventure game) and numerous fetch quests, it also would point out where the boss's weakness was during the fight instead of, again, having the player figure it out. I hate that shit. Early games didn't have this though it was more a consequence of memory being expensive and limited forcing the designers to instruct the player in other more subtle ways. Anyway, so that's it. The original game rules and those are my reasons. I hope you've enjoyed this stupid rant and you win 50 Internets if you figured out the reasoning behind the picture posts before reaching the end. If not, click the link (no pun intended) under the red Zelda and see for yourself.
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| Octoroks! |
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| Tektites! |
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| P-P-P-Peahats! |
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| Leevers! |
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| Zelda! |
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| Zelda!! |
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| Zelda!!! |
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
AND THEN THERE WAS ME...
My roommate has been sick for the past few days now. So far I have managed to not get even a sniffle yet I hear him coughing constantly in the living room while I keep myself sequestered in my bedroom because I can...because all my stuff is in here...and because it's something I'm used to doing and that is, living out of a single room. You would think, being sick and all, that he would be sleeping (or at least resting) more to help speed the recovery or, at the very least, spend his sick time in his fucking room. But no, he's out in the living room spreading his viruses about while typing away on his computer...something he is perfectly capable of doing in his own bedroom since it's a laptop and he has a desk in there...oh, but that's right, he still has a desktop computer that he NEVER uses but insists on keeping as his "porn computer". Alias TBD told me he is not using that computer for that purpose and is instead, using the laptop which means he has a desktop computer on ALL THE TIME (seriously, it's on 24/7), on his desk, in his bedroom, unused and taking up space that could be used instead for a laptop.
My roommate has definitely got me thinking about something though... In two weeks time, I'll be living on my own for the first time in my entire life. I'll actually be able to live in more than one room. I have no idea what I am going to do with myself. I'm still awaiting keys for the apartment so I haven't been able to take accurate measurements but once I have, I will actually be planning out furniture arrangement for MORE than one room. It's unreal. My bedroom, for the first time in my life, may actually become a place that I use primarily for sleeping and my living room...a living room, seriously...this is difficult to wrap my mind around. The closest I have ever come to this was when I was living with my Best Friend and while we did fight a lot, she was much bigger on sharing living space (though not closet space) so I did move considerably more freely around that apartment than I do here.
When I moved in with my current roommate, knowing I was getting the big bedroom, I ceded space in the living room for him to store his stuff. Unfortunately it seems he took that cession with gusto and decided to occupy the living room as a de facto bedroom much to my chagrin. I look forward to the end of this arrangement.
A major regret I have with this arrangement is that I never got to enjoy doing only 50% of the domestic work. I went from less than 5% when living at home, to like 75% when living with my Best Friend, to 95% with my current situation. While I'm glad to know I can handle 100% of the labor, it bugs the shit out of me not to have had a proper work-sharing arrangement...ever.
Certain things concern me living on my own. One is that I am used to being alone already (or at least being left alone) so I am selfish. Not necessarily maliciously selfish but I have become used to doing things a certain way and avoiding accepting help from others as I despise bearing feelings of obligation. At least having someone around, even if they are lazy, almost good-for-nothings, keeps me aware of the existence of others. I worry about my behaviors and tendencies becoming calcified when no one is around to make me consider otherwise. I also worry that I will quickly get used to the arrangement and though I am lonely, become even less interested in doing something about it simply because I have become comfortable with no one telling me how (or causing me to consider alternate ways) to live my life.
But we'll see. For a short while anyway, I think I will enjoy the honeymoon of freedom that will come with my new apartment.
My roommate has definitely got me thinking about something though... In two weeks time, I'll be living on my own for the first time in my entire life. I'll actually be able to live in more than one room. I have no idea what I am going to do with myself. I'm still awaiting keys for the apartment so I haven't been able to take accurate measurements but once I have, I will actually be planning out furniture arrangement for MORE than one room. It's unreal. My bedroom, for the first time in my life, may actually become a place that I use primarily for sleeping and my living room...a living room, seriously...this is difficult to wrap my mind around. The closest I have ever come to this was when I was living with my Best Friend and while we did fight a lot, she was much bigger on sharing living space (though not closet space) so I did move considerably more freely around that apartment than I do here.
When I moved in with my current roommate, knowing I was getting the big bedroom, I ceded space in the living room for him to store his stuff. Unfortunately it seems he took that cession with gusto and decided to occupy the living room as a de facto bedroom much to my chagrin. I look forward to the end of this arrangement.
A major regret I have with this arrangement is that I never got to enjoy doing only 50% of the domestic work. I went from less than 5% when living at home, to like 75% when living with my Best Friend, to 95% with my current situation. While I'm glad to know I can handle 100% of the labor, it bugs the shit out of me not to have had a proper work-sharing arrangement...ever.
Certain things concern me living on my own. One is that I am used to being alone already (or at least being left alone) so I am selfish. Not necessarily maliciously selfish but I have become used to doing things a certain way and avoiding accepting help from others as I despise bearing feelings of obligation. At least having someone around, even if they are lazy, almost good-for-nothings, keeps me aware of the existence of others. I worry about my behaviors and tendencies becoming calcified when no one is around to make me consider otherwise. I also worry that I will quickly get used to the arrangement and though I am lonely, become even less interested in doing something about it simply because I have become comfortable with no one telling me how (or causing me to consider alternate ways) to live my life.
But we'll see. For a short while anyway, I think I will enjoy the honeymoon of freedom that will come with my new apartment.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
THE SECRET LIFE OF MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT...
Like far too many people on this planet, I have a Facebook account and like other social networking sites, an option for a status update exists. Nowadays, I try to only post updates that are unique compositions (as far as I know anyways) while avoiding overly personal content, updates giving away my current location, and pointless updates (such as what I am about to do or eat - unless I'm being sarcastic of course!). I still occasionally post quotes but will acknowledge sources where available and have moved on from posting song lyrics. However, that doesn't mean there are updates which have been passed over for one reason or another; fallen to the wayside; ones which have lost their context; ones which I couldn't quite work out; or simply were, upon further consideration, inadvisable to post (be they passive-aggressive to obvious parties or really, really depressing).
However, that does not mean I would not like to share them as well as any reason why I passed them over (if I can recall it of course). So without further ado, here are some examples:
However, that does not mean I would not like to share them as well as any reason why I passed them over (if I can recall it of course). So without further ado, here are some examples:
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE...
Regarding the situation with my apartment, a little over a week ago my coworkers advised me that a friend of theirs was looking for a place to live. She had been living with her boyfriend but they have since broken up but are still awkwardly living together for the time-being. They both understandably want to part ways. She's a stewardess on international flights so she's not around much and is basically looking for a place to crash when she is home. I was off when this conversation came up but, as I've said, my coworkers felt I would be a good match for her seeing as how I am tidy and responsible. She would also prefer a male roommate which I am so uh...bonus?
We ended up meeting at work the following Sunday (this would be April 3rd for those of you keeping track) and talked for much longer than I should have been allowed to get away with - like a half hour: did nobody notice I wasn't at my post? I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment in that I rarely do such things so I was given a little leeway this time or if I simply make no impression on the management when I'm there (in the sense that I am less a personality and more a drone). Anyways...
The maximum rent the stewardess could afford was within the range I am paying to live here. She told me about what she does and her current situation. She described past situations where she had been burned by friends causing her to lose her security deposit and having to pay certain bills like cable all by herself so she was understanding of my skepticism of having a virtual stranger to live with. She also added that she was looking to move in by May or June at the latest (my current lease ends June 30th) with May being preferable so she could avoid having to stay with a friend for a month and that she may or may not be bringing two cats with her (this would depend on whether or not her ex-boyfriend wanted them). Regarding the cats, I was more than okay. I even told her that I would be happy to care for them while she was away. If they are as friendly as she claims, they might actually yield a positive psychological benefit as well in that they could moderate my increasingly frequent and longer-lasting sad periods which may become yet another full-blown depression in the coming months. The only potential problem was whether or not my current roommate would be willing to oblige her and move out sooner. We exchanged information and parted.
Now, given the choice between attempting to pay for an apartment myself and being essentially working poor and maintaining (for at least one more year) my subsidized working class lifestyle, I opted for the latter. Thankfully my roommate actually mentioned that he would be moving out at the end of this lease a week prior so now I brought up the stewardess and he eagerly (almost too eagerly if you ask me) accepted the idea of moving out sooner. And here I thought I might have to bribe him! Lowballing wins again!
I texted the stewardess that everything was fine with my roommate and that we should talk/meet to discuss details with each other. Basically all her soft demands were met. Exactly what she wanted and...I have not heard back from her. Now, it is entirely possible that during this past week she was literally out of the country so I chose to be patient. But after a week, I texted again and...still no response. I'm really not sure if this is a hint I ought to be taking. I should've known too that the moment I felt hope at work that this might actually work out that this whole idea was doomed. Hope so rarely in my life is ever realized and like blushing, I can't control it. Hope just happens and when it does, it both angers and depresses me because I know it will soon decay and I will again be left feeling dejected.
I dunno, maybe I'll look foolish for having posted this in a day or two. If not, just another item on a long list of unrealized hopes. I even dared to feel it again tonight when my roommate, upon hearing my difficulties, pointed out that if his job works out better, he would be willing to do another year here. Sad that despite how frustrating this experience has been with him, that such an option is now welcomed and even sadder if I come to depend on it in any way whatsoever and he has to leave anyhow...
How did my parents afford to live here? It's been so frustrating and depressing lately and my still as-of-yet unknown housing arrangements are only serving to fuel my down-cycles. Between this and the Digby situation and my ever-increasing age and feelings of worthlessness and that of being a loser and unapproachability and being increasingly dispirited with the knowledge that all I have and may ever do will only benefit me...it's really leaving me stressed out and despairing. I wanted to be married by now, have a kid or two. I wanted to know I could have someone I could depend on. I wanted to just have someone I've wanted by now but even that joy has eluded me throughout my increasingly long and unfulfilling and wasted adult life. Are all my bad choices finally coming to a head? Have I finally run out of time? Like I've said before, I feel like a star fusing carbon into neon. How long until I am fusing neon into oxygen and other increasingly ineffective solutions?
I feel like I'm breaking...
ADDENDUM: The Stewardess was in my store again and apologized to me because it turns out her phone had stopped sending messages for like a month or two. She said she had sent me a long message (I guess to tell me that she had opted not to live with me) that I thus likely never got. She also lost out on an opportunity to get a better job (also as a stewardess) for a private airliner which would have paid her much much more than she was making now. It doesn't matter if this is true or not. She could've still contacted me through Facebook since I had sent her a message there, but no bother... She asked for my forgiveness and I gave it. Despite my apostasy, I am still rather Christian when it comes to this sort of stuff. I go by Abraham Lincoln's rule: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Admittedly this was not followed with Digby, but then I was a fool in love...or perhaps just a fool.
We ended up meeting at work the following Sunday (this would be April 3rd for those of you keeping track) and talked for much longer than I should have been allowed to get away with - like a half hour: did nobody notice I wasn't at my post? I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment in that I rarely do such things so I was given a little leeway this time or if I simply make no impression on the management when I'm there (in the sense that I am less a personality and more a drone). Anyways...
The maximum rent the stewardess could afford was within the range I am paying to live here. She told me about what she does and her current situation. She described past situations where she had been burned by friends causing her to lose her security deposit and having to pay certain bills like cable all by herself so she was understanding of my skepticism of having a virtual stranger to live with. She also added that she was looking to move in by May or June at the latest (my current lease ends June 30th) with May being preferable so she could avoid having to stay with a friend for a month and that she may or may not be bringing two cats with her (this would depend on whether or not her ex-boyfriend wanted them). Regarding the cats, I was more than okay. I even told her that I would be happy to care for them while she was away. If they are as friendly as she claims, they might actually yield a positive psychological benefit as well in that they could moderate my increasingly frequent and longer-lasting sad periods which may become yet another full-blown depression in the coming months. The only potential problem was whether or not my current roommate would be willing to oblige her and move out sooner. We exchanged information and parted.
Now, given the choice between attempting to pay for an apartment myself and being essentially working poor and maintaining (for at least one more year) my subsidized working class lifestyle, I opted for the latter. Thankfully my roommate actually mentioned that he would be moving out at the end of this lease a week prior so now I brought up the stewardess and he eagerly (almost too eagerly if you ask me) accepted the idea of moving out sooner. And here I thought I might have to bribe him! Lowballing wins again!
I texted the stewardess that everything was fine with my roommate and that we should talk/meet to discuss details with each other. Basically all her soft demands were met. Exactly what she wanted and...I have not heard back from her. Now, it is entirely possible that during this past week she was literally out of the country so I chose to be patient. But after a week, I texted again and...still no response. I'm really not sure if this is a hint I ought to be taking. I should've known too that the moment I felt hope at work that this might actually work out that this whole idea was doomed. Hope so rarely in my life is ever realized and like blushing, I can't control it. Hope just happens and when it does, it both angers and depresses me because I know it will soon decay and I will again be left feeling dejected.
I dunno, maybe I'll look foolish for having posted this in a day or two. If not, just another item on a long list of unrealized hopes. I even dared to feel it again tonight when my roommate, upon hearing my difficulties, pointed out that if his job works out better, he would be willing to do another year here. Sad that despite how frustrating this experience has been with him, that such an option is now welcomed and even sadder if I come to depend on it in any way whatsoever and he has to leave anyhow...
How did my parents afford to live here? It's been so frustrating and depressing lately and my still as-of-yet unknown housing arrangements are only serving to fuel my down-cycles. Between this and the Digby situation and my ever-increasing age and feelings of worthlessness and that of being a loser and unapproachability and being increasingly dispirited with the knowledge that all I have and may ever do will only benefit me...it's really leaving me stressed out and despairing. I wanted to be married by now, have a kid or two. I wanted to know I could have someone I could depend on. I wanted to just have someone I've wanted by now but even that joy has eluded me throughout my increasingly long and unfulfilling and wasted adult life. Are all my bad choices finally coming to a head? Have I finally run out of time? Like I've said before, I feel like a star fusing carbon into neon. How long until I am fusing neon into oxygen and other increasingly ineffective solutions?
I feel like I'm breaking...
ADDENDUM: The Stewardess was in my store again and apologized to me because it turns out her phone had stopped sending messages for like a month or two. She said she had sent me a long message (I guess to tell me that she had opted not to live with me) that I thus likely never got. She also lost out on an opportunity to get a better job (also as a stewardess) for a private airliner which would have paid her much much more than she was making now. It doesn't matter if this is true or not. She could've still contacted me through Facebook since I had sent her a message there, but no bother... She asked for my forgiveness and I gave it. Despite my apostasy, I am still rather Christian when it comes to this sort of stuff. I go by Abraham Lincoln's rule: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Admittedly this was not followed with Digby, but then I was a fool in love...or perhaps just a fool.
Friday, March 11, 2011
TOUCHING UPON AN OLD THREAD...
I probably should have mentioned by now, especially given my numerous rants on this subject, that my roommate has finally gotten a job. From what I understand, this is a commission-only job, so whether this will be a paying gig remains to be seen. I have wasted no time enjoying my roommate-free mornings in this apartment. If only this could have been the case during that hot-as-fuck Summer we had last year.
It's time now for me to seek a new, hopefully affordable apartment, in this area. I can't let this lack of domestic contribution on his part go unanswered nor can I afford to overlook his eleven months of far-more-than-less deliberate unemployment. It sucks, especially since I have actually been able to save money living here with him. Who knows if that'll ever happen again. And to think, when we re-upped the lease last year, I was delighted to know I would have twelve months of stability and that I would finally be able to spend some money on myself after watching my every dollar for the past two years but that would get cut off rather quickly. At the time, he was only unemployed for two months. Surely a job was soon to be had... Oh hindsight!
I've got some numbers to start calling when I'm off next...AFTER I clean the bathroom because (and I don't know why I persist in this optimistic fantasy of mine) I know there is no chance in hell that he will clean the bathroom this week and AFTER I clean the kitchen, living room, and dining room because why the fuck would he do any of those rooms either? Alias TBD is right, since I am his de facto maid, I should at least be getting paid for it. I don't want to live alone, but what choice do I have? And I don't say that because I don't like being alone: I'm alone most of the time. I think comedian Bill Burr said it best:
ADDENDUM: Well, turned out that job was a bust. He had it for all of two days before realizing that it was a "scam" and quit and not only quit, but did so without even telling me choosing instead to simply not be in the apartment when he "wasn't supposed to be". However either through a combination of luck or simply because he shortsightedly dropped his unemployment compensation, he managed to find a new job within a week that pays him a wage. The job is overnight meaning that I have the apartment to myself on my nights off but otherwise he's here like always. Now I'm just riding out the lease and trying to find a new apartment I can afford without cutting my budget to the bone. No matter what it seems I am a mere few months going from decidedly Working Class to Working Poor. Yay...
It's time now for me to seek a new, hopefully affordable apartment, in this area. I can't let this lack of domestic contribution on his part go unanswered nor can I afford to overlook his eleven months of far-more-than-less deliberate unemployment. It sucks, especially since I have actually been able to save money living here with him. Who knows if that'll ever happen again. And to think, when we re-upped the lease last year, I was delighted to know I would have twelve months of stability and that I would finally be able to spend some money on myself after watching my every dollar for the past two years but that would get cut off rather quickly. At the time, he was only unemployed for two months. Surely a job was soon to be had... Oh hindsight!
I've got some numbers to start calling when I'm off next...AFTER I clean the bathroom because (and I don't know why I persist in this optimistic fantasy of mine) I know there is no chance in hell that he will clean the bathroom this week and AFTER I clean the kitchen, living room, and dining room because why the fuck would he do any of those rooms either? Alias TBD is right, since I am his de facto maid, I should at least be getting paid for it. I don't want to live alone, but what choice do I have? And I don't say that because I don't like being alone: I'm alone most of the time. I think comedian Bill Burr said it best:
ADDENDUM: Well, turned out that job was a bust. He had it for all of two days before realizing that it was a "scam" and quit and not only quit, but did so without even telling me choosing instead to simply not be in the apartment when he "wasn't supposed to be". However either through a combination of luck or simply because he shortsightedly dropped his unemployment compensation, he managed to find a new job within a week that pays him a wage. The job is overnight meaning that I have the apartment to myself on my nights off but otherwise he's here like always. Now I'm just riding out the lease and trying to find a new apartment I can afford without cutting my budget to the bone. No matter what it seems I am a mere few months going from decidedly Working Class to Working Poor. Yay...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A SERIES OF MINOR IRKS AND DISPLEASURES...
I realized not too long ago that a month ago, I had quietly passed an inflection point with my roommate: he has now been unemployed living with me longer than he has been employed. Hurray!...
I've noticed how this particular irritation leads to me being even more irritated with minor things than I would be if he were going to work at least five days a week. Things like not doing the dishes. I don't care if you didn't make them, you're home ALL FUCKING DAY you can at least do the dishes in your copious spare time since I sure as fuck know you're not using it to find work. You could also get the mail because why not? You're here and it's certainly not a long walk. You could take out the garbage when it gets full for the same reason. [I've been forgiving of the recyclables because our town seems to have suspended pick-up since the first snowstorm a month ago and this complex provides far too small a receptacle for our papers and cans/glass/plastic. I'm tempted to just throw them in the dumpster now...or buy twine. I guess the latter would be more respectable, wouldn't it?].
These little things only irritate me further when he demonstrates his priorities. I mean, congratulations on your eighth consecutive hour of television/movie watching. Congratulations on finding the time to work on various writing projects that you're pathologically incapable of finishing. Congratulations on your restful eight plus hours of sleep. I can see why he wouldn't have the time to handle a few chores. Perhaps I should stop being so demanding: there's only so much one man-child can do...
Could you put your dishes in the sink please? And rinse them out? And while you're at it, do it for your yogurt and soup cans too. I love scrubbing out the rust rings the latter leave in the sink. Thank goodness for non-stick cookware and that's all I'll say about that. Thanks again for doing half the dishes. Do you have some sort of bizarre phobia about washing pots still on the stove? They're cool now I assure you. Sigh...
But the one thing I've noticed that's been irritating me when it never has before and I fully blame it on his deliberate unemployment is when he replaces a paper towel or toilet paper roll, he does so in a way that it rolls under instead of over-the-top [officially I take the Ann Landers assessment: when they have designs printed on the paper, they're printed so as to be viewed from an over-the-top rolling method...makes sense to me]. I've found myself reorienting them, when for the first sixteen months living here, I didn't care. And now every time I see he's put it out that way, I get mad and start having angry daydreams. I'm cool now so writing about this is making me giggle because it's just that stupid to ever be mad over such a thing but let me see it after coming in from getting the mail and doing the dishes first thing upon waking (when he had all fucking day to do them) so I can cook something to eat and it's infuriating. So ridiculous... :-)
Just a few more months left on the lease. Then I will leave. It's not worth fighting over now even though the way he blithely accepts this arrangement is really tempting me to. I hope I can afford living in this area by myself...
ADDENDUM: I noticed he recently got rid of his Chinese food container hoard. I loved washing those every day too. I guess better he use plasticware rather than my ceramic dishes since I've got it on good authority that there was a real possibility he would've broken at least one of my dishes by now. I've so far gone unscathed in that department (jinx!!!). But doing the dishes the other day, I've noticed he has a habit of using this utensil when making pasta dishes instead of a regular spoon.
Seriously, there is NO need to use this kind of spoon when making pasta for yourself. It's more of a serving spoon but he has a hard-on it seems for using it and especially with sticky, cheesy dishes. This is one of the hardest things to clean outside of a whisk with dried up egg...another utensil he has no business using unless you're trying to whip up like a dozen eggs at once. USE A FORK! If you're making long-stringed pasta for more than just you, this utensil is suitable for serving it. Otherwise, just dump it on your plate or use a spoon without all that surface area. Holy fuck...
I've noticed how this particular irritation leads to me being even more irritated with minor things than I would be if he were going to work at least five days a week. Things like not doing the dishes. I don't care if you didn't make them, you're home ALL FUCKING DAY you can at least do the dishes in your copious spare time since I sure as fuck know you're not using it to find work. You could also get the mail because why not? You're here and it's certainly not a long walk. You could take out the garbage when it gets full for the same reason. [I've been forgiving of the recyclables because our town seems to have suspended pick-up since the first snowstorm a month ago and this complex provides far too small a receptacle for our papers and cans/glass/plastic. I'm tempted to just throw them in the dumpster now...or buy twine. I guess the latter would be more respectable, wouldn't it?].
These little things only irritate me further when he demonstrates his priorities. I mean, congratulations on your eighth consecutive hour of television/movie watching. Congratulations on finding the time to work on various writing projects that you're pathologically incapable of finishing. Congratulations on your restful eight plus hours of sleep. I can see why he wouldn't have the time to handle a few chores. Perhaps I should stop being so demanding: there's only so much one man-child can do...
Could you put your dishes in the sink please? And rinse them out? And while you're at it, do it for your yogurt and soup cans too. I love scrubbing out the rust rings the latter leave in the sink. Thank goodness for non-stick cookware and that's all I'll say about that. Thanks again for doing half the dishes. Do you have some sort of bizarre phobia about washing pots still on the stove? They're cool now I assure you. Sigh...
But the one thing I've noticed that's been irritating me when it never has before and I fully blame it on his deliberate unemployment is when he replaces a paper towel or toilet paper roll, he does so in a way that it rolls under instead of over-the-top [officially I take the Ann Landers assessment: when they have designs printed on the paper, they're printed so as to be viewed from an over-the-top rolling method...makes sense to me]. I've found myself reorienting them, when for the first sixteen months living here, I didn't care. And now every time I see he's put it out that way, I get mad and start having angry daydreams. I'm cool now so writing about this is making me giggle because it's just that stupid to ever be mad over such a thing but let me see it after coming in from getting the mail and doing the dishes first thing upon waking (when he had all fucking day to do them) so I can cook something to eat and it's infuriating. So ridiculous... :-)
Just a few more months left on the lease. Then I will leave. It's not worth fighting over now even though the way he blithely accepts this arrangement is really tempting me to. I hope I can afford living in this area by myself...
ADDENDUM: I noticed he recently got rid of his Chinese food container hoard. I loved washing those every day too. I guess better he use plasticware rather than my ceramic dishes since I've got it on good authority that there was a real possibility he would've broken at least one of my dishes by now. I've so far gone unscathed in that department (jinx!!!). But doing the dishes the other day, I've noticed he has a habit of using this utensil when making pasta dishes instead of a regular spoon.
Friday, December 17, 2010
WHY MUST THERE ALWAYS BE SOMETHING?
It turns out my roommate owns a space heater. It's been cold in these here parts for the past few days and he stays up all night. Every apartment I've ever lived in goes easy on the heat, even turning it off, in the middle of the night when normal people are sleeping and won't likely notice. But my roommate doesn't sleep at night. He stays up all night watching DVDs and working on his various writing projects although I don't know if it's fair to call them projects seeing as how he is not actively seeking to have any of them commissioned. It's more like a form of masturbation I suppose in that he desires to please others with his work but in the end winds up only pleasing himself.
There's nothing wrong with that in of itself but since it is his dream to work in the television industry writing, producing, and possibly directing...but definitely writing. However, since he is not actively employed in any capacity by that industry either paid or intern nor is he actively seeking such employment (or any form of employment for that matter - temp agencies that haven't come through in ten months don't count!), it seems kinda weird to me to boast that this is what he wants to do yet doesn't do it in even the slightest way possible.
Before I get accused of being the pot calling the kettle black...yes, I have dabbled in the creation of a language but even at the height of my craziness, I have never once believed that it would be spoken by anyone except me. If my notes on the language DON'T immediately and matter-of-factly end up in the garbage upon my death, I will be surprised (or rather I would be if it were possible for me to feel anymore at that point :-P ). Yes, I have my eccentricities but I don't go about thinking anything will come of them: not my language, not my planetary systems, not my made-up cultures, not my BASIC programs, not my created Doom levels, not my journals, nothing. In the garbage, deleted, or forgotten...I know that's how it'll be, but they bring me joy and that's all that matters. :-)
Anyhow, since my roommate stays up all night, not only is he asleep during the mornings and early afternoons when he could be out looking for work, he's also awake during the cool-down period. Instead of doing what normal people do and layer-up (or complain...complaining would actually be more normal thing to do than layering up), he pulls out the space heater and fires it up...on maximum of course because why test it at the lowest settings first. Sigh...so much for our electric bills going DOWN in the winter if this keeps up. That thing uses more power than the air conditioner and like the air conditioner, it is yet another appliance I get to pay for and don't get to benefit from (times like this I really wish PSE&G would show an hourly breakdown of our usage). And again, is he using the space heater in his room with a much smaller area and watching DVDs on his laptop? No! That would be sensible but instead the desk in his room bears his old desktop computer which he uses to watch porn on instead of discarding the unit. Of course, with all the shit he has on his bedroom floor because he doesn't clean his room, I guess that'd be risking a fire. A constant output of 1500 watts doesn't spin the meter too much, right? What the fuck man?
Nope, just a toasty expansive (and doorless) living room for him. Oh, and I just realized that he doesn't close the curtains either when running the unit so he's heating the kitchen and dining room (as well as my room, the bathroom, and his). Has he no sense whatsoever? He's thirty fucking years old. I can't believe I'm actually going to have to bring this up to him like a fucking parent. I don't want to be his parent!!! At some level I don't care that he's using the space heater but then again I do given his lack of consideration and the fact that the cord to the unit was UNDERNEATH the unit...exactly where it's not supposed to be. I'm surprised I haven't found it melted to the carpet yet. Again, perspective. It could be a LOT worse...he pays what he owes although he still doesn't do his fair share of work around here. He's constantly violating the implied oral contract that he do 50% of the domestic workload (not on a daily basis, I'm talking more over the course of a month it should be 50/50). Speaking of which:
He actually washed his dishes this morning...but only moments after I got home. I'm glad he knew enough that I do the dishes immediately upon getting home. I was fully prepared to be annoyed that I would be washing his cheese encrusted pot and plates from his taco-like meal two days ago. I ate leftovers yesterday. Not needing to cook meant I could observe those dishes over the course of days (yay..). I haven't actually surveyed what he's done. Somehow it wouldn't surprise me to go out there later and find that he didn't wash them all. He's done that before, curiously leaving pots unwashed on the stove like they're not part of the dishes. (Thank goodness for non-stick pans. I can't imagine what life was like before them) Ugh, I'm glad to know he's spending his time unemployed productively around the apartment. This all gives me hints as to what it's like to be a parent...
Yay! Two day old dirty dishes!
And the crazy part of all this is that I still occasionally consider re-upping on this lease if my roommate actually manages to find gainful employment before it ends. I really have to keep shit like this in mind when I start thinking lazily like that. I wish I could afford this place on my own. I really like it here...
Okay, enough bitching for today...
ADDENDUM: To be fair, the space heater thing never became an issue. Once the heat came on full force, we were actually keeping the windows open because it would get so hot in the apartment.
There's nothing wrong with that in of itself but since it is his dream to work in the television industry writing, producing, and possibly directing...but definitely writing. However, since he is not actively employed in any capacity by that industry either paid or intern nor is he actively seeking such employment (or any form of employment for that matter - temp agencies that haven't come through in ten months don't count!), it seems kinda weird to me to boast that this is what he wants to do yet doesn't do it in even the slightest way possible.
Before I get accused of being the pot calling the kettle black...yes, I have dabbled in the creation of a language but even at the height of my craziness, I have never once believed that it would be spoken by anyone except me. If my notes on the language DON'T immediately and matter-of-factly end up in the garbage upon my death, I will be surprised (or rather I would be if it were possible for me to feel anymore at that point :-P ). Yes, I have my eccentricities but I don't go about thinking anything will come of them: not my language, not my planetary systems, not my made-up cultures, not my BASIC programs, not my created Doom levels, not my journals, nothing. In the garbage, deleted, or forgotten...I know that's how it'll be, but they bring me joy and that's all that matters. :-)
Anyhow, since my roommate stays up all night, not only is he asleep during the mornings and early afternoons when he could be out looking for work, he's also awake during the cool-down period. Instead of doing what normal people do and layer-up (or complain...complaining would actually be more normal thing to do than layering up), he pulls out the space heater and fires it up...on maximum of course because why test it at the lowest settings first. Sigh...so much for our electric bills going DOWN in the winter if this keeps up. That thing uses more power than the air conditioner and like the air conditioner, it is yet another appliance I get to pay for and don't get to benefit from (times like this I really wish PSE&G would show an hourly breakdown of our usage). And again, is he using the space heater in his room with a much smaller area and watching DVDs on his laptop? No! That would be sensible but instead the desk in his room bears his old desktop computer which he uses to watch porn on instead of discarding the unit. Of course, with all the shit he has on his bedroom floor because he doesn't clean his room, I guess that'd be risking a fire. A constant output of 1500 watts doesn't spin the meter too much, right? What the fuck man?
Nope, just a toasty expansive (and doorless) living room for him. Oh, and I just realized that he doesn't close the curtains either when running the unit so he's heating the kitchen and dining room (as well as my room, the bathroom, and his). Has he no sense whatsoever? He's thirty fucking years old. I can't believe I'm actually going to have to bring this up to him like a fucking parent. I don't want to be his parent!!! At some level I don't care that he's using the space heater but then again I do given his lack of consideration and the fact that the cord to the unit was UNDERNEATH the unit...exactly where it's not supposed to be. I'm surprised I haven't found it melted to the carpet yet. Again, perspective. It could be a LOT worse...he pays what he owes although he still doesn't do his fair share of work around here. He's constantly violating the implied oral contract that he do 50% of the domestic workload (not on a daily basis, I'm talking more over the course of a month it should be 50/50). Speaking of which:
He actually washed his dishes this morning...but only moments after I got home. I'm glad he knew enough that I do the dishes immediately upon getting home. I was fully prepared to be annoyed that I would be washing his cheese encrusted pot and plates from his taco-like meal two days ago. I ate leftovers yesterday. Not needing to cook meant I could observe those dishes over the course of days (yay..). I haven't actually surveyed what he's done. Somehow it wouldn't surprise me to go out there later and find that he didn't wash them all. He's done that before, curiously leaving pots unwashed on the stove like they're not part of the dishes. (Thank goodness for non-stick pans. I can't imagine what life was like before them) Ugh, I'm glad to know he's spending his time unemployed productively around the apartment. This all gives me hints as to what it's like to be a parent...
And the crazy part of all this is that I still occasionally consider re-upping on this lease if my roommate actually manages to find gainful employment before it ends. I really have to keep shit like this in mind when I start thinking lazily like that. I wish I could afford this place on my own. I really like it here...
Okay, enough bitching for today...
ADDENDUM: To be fair, the space heater thing never became an issue. Once the heat came on full force, we were actually keeping the windows open because it would get so hot in the apartment.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
--- ASSORTED THOUGHTS ---
I can only assume that my roommate's job prospect did not pan out as he is still here keeping the couch warm and the TV from being lonely. He had a call for an interview. I can only presume that he went out for it, but was ultimately not offered the job. Oh well. At least he's been sleeping at better hours (from my perspective) so I've caught up on all my television finally but where oh where can this job be? I'm selfish and I want to pretend this apartment is mine and mine alone every day...at least for a little while.
I've been walking taller for the past week or two now and standing up straight when not in motion, looking ahead rather than down, all in a position as recommended by Anonymous's Life Hacks: a position which in fact, does make me feel more confident for some reason. Perhaps not coincidentally, the lowest part of my back has begun to hurt since assuming these positions. How ironic that a more confident posture would yield back pain. It makes me wonder if I've been keeping my head down for more reasons than simply low self-esteem.
I've found some old NES and SNES emulators recently that actually work rather well. Some games like Star Soldier (NES) and Bubsy in Clawed Encounters of the Furred Kind (SNES), both obscure titles, don't emulate well or at all which sucks as I learned to enjoy those games on my still functioning original systems. They make good companion pieces to MAME32, an arcade machine emulator which brings back far too many childhood memories of Showbiz Pizza. I've noticed they actually sell original NES and SNES controllers with grafted USB ports. I'm thinking of purchasing them because the keyboard is not always the best way to control certain games.
I've made my last half dollar purchase for the year at my bank. I got one 40% silver half out of $200 in halves. I'm starting to think the 90% ones I used to find somewhat regularly until mid-2008 is an era that's passed. I won't give up but it's been frustrating. I managed to get four 90% pieces this year: two Walkers and two Franklins. Impaired proofs are some random finds that I've been enjoying. I've gotten enough to justify labelling a Whitman folder in the hopes of completing the set someday. We'll see about that provided my bank doesn't cut me off by ceasing to order half dollars for its customers.
I've been walking taller for the past week or two now and standing up straight when not in motion, looking ahead rather than down, all in a position as recommended by Anonymous's Life Hacks: a position which in fact, does make me feel more confident for some reason. Perhaps not coincidentally, the lowest part of my back has begun to hurt since assuming these positions. How ironic that a more confident posture would yield back pain. It makes me wonder if I've been keeping my head down for more reasons than simply low self-esteem.
I've found some old NES and SNES emulators recently that actually work rather well. Some games like Star Soldier (NES) and Bubsy in Clawed Encounters of the Furred Kind (SNES), both obscure titles, don't emulate well or at all which sucks as I learned to enjoy those games on my still functioning original systems. They make good companion pieces to MAME32, an arcade machine emulator which brings back far too many childhood memories of Showbiz Pizza. I've noticed they actually sell original NES and SNES controllers with grafted USB ports. I'm thinking of purchasing them because the keyboard is not always the best way to control certain games.
I've made my last half dollar purchase for the year at my bank. I got one 40% silver half out of $200 in halves. I'm starting to think the 90% ones I used to find somewhat regularly until mid-2008 is an era that's passed. I won't give up but it's been frustrating. I managed to get four 90% pieces this year: two Walkers and two Franklins. Impaired proofs are some random finds that I've been enjoying. I've gotten enough to justify labelling a Whitman folder in the hopes of completing the set someday. We'll see about that provided my bank doesn't cut me off by ceasing to order half dollars for its customers.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
HOW IT IS I CONTINUE TO RATIONALIZE MY BEHAVIOR...
Before going to bed this morning the roommate tells me that he has a job interview later today and another one later in the week. I can only hope this pans out. The first one is a data-entry position, a typical job for him which will last for who knows how long but at least it's something that would get him out of this apartment and legitimately earning money for the first time since March. I have no idea how he came across this position. My faith in him has been reduced to the point where I cannot possibly believe this is the result of his efforts...maybe the agency he signed up with some months ago and has apparently put total faith in. He mentioned said agency as being responsible for the second interview he'll be going on later this week.
The plus side is that I have been tempted on numerous occasions to lay into him about not looking for work. I was having one of those fantasies mere minutes before he told me of this latest development. I'm glad I didn't. How foolish I would've looked (although probably not as foolish had I done so any time over the past seven months)!
Anyways, may this long nightmare of unemployment soon be over. I would both like the ability to watch TV at a time of my choosing, to be able to enjoy some solitude in this apartment on a regular basis, to be able to clean without him watching me and not feeling compelled to either do something himself or ask if he could be doing something, and to be able to sleep on the couch in the late Spring/Summer should it get really hot again next year. Knowing me, his continued employment will cause me to grow complacent and not want to move at the end of the lease...I will have to talk myself out of it (or at least do so quietly in the event that I am not able to afford an apartment on my own in this area).
The plus side is that I have been tempted on numerous occasions to lay into him about not looking for work. I was having one of those fantasies mere minutes before he told me of this latest development. I'm glad I didn't. How foolish I would've looked (although probably not as foolish had I done so any time over the past seven months)!
Anyways, may this long nightmare of unemployment soon be over. I would both like the ability to watch TV at a time of my choosing, to be able to enjoy some solitude in this apartment on a regular basis, to be able to clean without him watching me and not feeling compelled to either do something himself or ask if he could be doing something, and to be able to sleep on the couch in the late Spring/Summer should it get really hot again next year. Knowing me, his continued employment will cause me to grow complacent and not want to move at the end of the lease...I will have to talk myself out of it (or at least do so quietly in the event that I am not able to afford an apartment on my own in this area).
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
NOT COOL...
I've had this notation on my desk for over a month now. I was busy at the time and it slipped to the wayside. Back in October, the Mystic came to visit me at my apartment. My roommate was here as he is wont to be since he is still very dedicated to the idea that jobs come to you rather than the other way around. He has to be here 24/7 just in case the door knocks. It's a terrible burden, but damn it, he is just so certain that he will be the first in the history of the universe to have work find him. Witnessing someone's true calling is truly an awesome sight to behold. But I digress...
Shortly after the Mystic entered my room, she remarked upon photographs of my Best Friend pointing out how beautiful she is and sweetly she comes across to which my roommate commented that while he wouldn't argue her physical beauty, he couldn't stand her personally. The Mystic inquired and he explained further.
Uh, hello! What the fuck?!! I've told several people in my life that my Best Friend is my best friend. You don't have to like her, but you have to accept her. That's a general condition for knowing me. My best friend has been a part of my life for fifteen years...she won't be the one going anywhere if you force the issue...YOU will be.
That being said, I don't care that my roommate doesn't like her: that's his prerogative. However, I DO care when you disrespect me. My roommate should've kept his opinions to his fucking self. He can voice them to me, he can voice them to his friends; hell, he can voice them to both me and her simultaneously, but what you don't do is speak badly about her in front of me while I'm with my friends. That's terribly disrespectful. It's equally disrespectful for him to do so in front of me while in front of his other friends (which he has done).
It really pisses me off that he does this and yet, each time it happens, I am in a position where I cannot simply leap down his throat for it as it would make me disrespectful to my guests to fight in front of them regardless of the righteousness of the cause. And of course, by the time the situation is more appropriate to yell at him about it, the context is lost. It's lose-lose for me and my roommate is again left thinking he is a better person than he actually is.
But then, I have an additional problem when it comes to arguing with him. He's bigger and much stronger than me and while that seems like a stupid thing to mention, I will quote this excerpt from his own online blog:
How am I supposed to react to that? Seriously... I wanted to comment on his journal when he posted that he is a horrible person for saying this. He is, in effect, saying "agree with me or else". And while he would deny such a thing, how could I feel safe arguing with him not knowing at what point my words will be interpreted as condescension, dismissal, shutting him down, or blowing him off? The last time I expressed my actual opinion of him online, I later found out he spent almost an hour yelling at his best friend about it. [this would be about him stupidly posting online his "masseur" activities including not only incriminating details for him but effectively implicating me as well since we share a household. The post has since been deleted but I do remember telling him to look up the word "discreet" in the dictionary]. His argument to his friend was that I should've told him to his face these opinions and not online. Now, while yes, we do coincidentally live together, my argument is that he posted this entry online and as such, it feels only appropriate to comment on it there...online. Had he told me this stuff to my face, then yes, I would tell him to his face. To comment on a real life discussion online would be inappropriate...don'tcha think? I know when I post things online, I want people to comment on it ONLINE. It bugs me when I'm at work and someone mentions a post of mine. Validate my online posts online please, not in real life!
In the excerpt I quoted, my roommate was talking about why he doesn't want kids. I like how he would not want to rule over his children as a tyrant and having them live in fear of pushing his ill-defined buttons, but he apparently has no qualms about doing so with his friends and family. He's a real jackass. He seems to be living under this assumption that just because there are two different points of view, that either of them are equally valid. I'm not sorry to point out that that's not the case. Occasionally, not only is your opinion groundless, but you can also be flat wrong and at no point am I required to treat your side like it's even relevant. Oh shit! Here comes a punch to throat! My roommate is effectively saying he is a bully [all the while he decries bullying].
I needed a few months to cool off after living with my Best Friend. I wonder how long I'll need to cool off from my current roommate? Living together was his biggest mistake as it has only caused my liking and respect for him to decline precipitously. He'll never get it back and surprisingly, that makes me sad. Living with him has been a mistake for me as well, but not as big a one as he has made living with me... I hate believing that he has been an illusory friend; that he only remained in so lofty a position because I simply rarely saw him. I've seen my Best Friend a lot and while we have fought a lot, it doesn't affect my love for her as our friendship is incredibly strong and can tolerate our occasionally turbulent emotions. We are like willow trees...deceptively strong. People around us may see a fracturing relationship, but we are as strong, if not stronger, as we have ever been. My roommate is like some mighty oak, but one whose roots have spread out through muddy soil leaving him vulnerable to a single strong storm. Sigh...
Shortly after the Mystic entered my room, she remarked upon photographs of my Best Friend pointing out how beautiful she is and sweetly she comes across to which my roommate commented that while he wouldn't argue her physical beauty, he couldn't stand her personally. The Mystic inquired and he explained further.
Uh, hello! What the fuck?!! I've told several people in my life that my Best Friend is my best friend. You don't have to like her, but you have to accept her. That's a general condition for knowing me. My best friend has been a part of my life for fifteen years...she won't be the one going anywhere if you force the issue...YOU will be.
That being said, I don't care that my roommate doesn't like her: that's his prerogative. However, I DO care when you disrespect me. My roommate should've kept his opinions to his fucking self. He can voice them to me, he can voice them to his friends; hell, he can voice them to both me and her simultaneously, but what you don't do is speak badly about her in front of me while I'm with my friends. That's terribly disrespectful. It's equally disrespectful for him to do so in front of me while in front of his other friends (which he has done).
It really pisses me off that he does this and yet, each time it happens, I am in a position where I cannot simply leap down his throat for it as it would make me disrespectful to my guests to fight in front of them regardless of the righteousness of the cause. And of course, by the time the situation is more appropriate to yell at him about it, the context is lost. It's lose-lose for me and my roommate is again left thinking he is a better person than he actually is.
But then, I have an additional problem when it comes to arguing with him. He's bigger and much stronger than me and while that seems like a stupid thing to mention, I will quote this excerpt from his own online blog:
I've often stated that of all my buttons, the biggest, shiniest, jolliest, candy-like button is condescension. I have no problem with a healthy debate or people who strongly disagree with my point of view. It's your right. It takes all kinds. But you want me to punch a few teeth out of your smile? Dismiss my point of view. Talk down to me. Shut me down. Blow me off. If you have a head on your neck after that, consider yourself lottery-winning lucky. I will not be disrespected. It doesn't happen. Do I have issues? LOADS. Is that overreacting a bit? No. It's overreacting a lot. And I've made great strides in lengthening that fuse, but sorry, folks. I'm fully cooked. This hot button ain't going anywhere. So, keeping that in mind, if I were to have children, they would probably have a life expectancy of at best... thirteen.
The only other alternative would be for me to become a tyrant, to rule with fear, which would pretty much cancel out all those "not fucking up my kids" intentions. I'm not saying I wouldn't love my kids, but no amount of love can compensate for that kind of behavior. No amount of hugs and pats on the head and late night ice cream sundaes can make up for living under the unyielding terror of pissing me off, and never knowing what the trigger might be. I would wish that on no child. Ever.
How am I supposed to react to that? Seriously... I wanted to comment on his journal when he posted that he is a horrible person for saying this. He is, in effect, saying "agree with me or else". And while he would deny such a thing, how could I feel safe arguing with him not knowing at what point my words will be interpreted as condescension, dismissal, shutting him down, or blowing him off? The last time I expressed my actual opinion of him online, I later found out he spent almost an hour yelling at his best friend about it. [this would be about him stupidly posting online his "masseur" activities including not only incriminating details for him but effectively implicating me as well since we share a household. The post has since been deleted but I do remember telling him to look up the word "discreet" in the dictionary]. His argument to his friend was that I should've told him to his face these opinions and not online. Now, while yes, we do coincidentally live together, my argument is that he posted this entry online and as such, it feels only appropriate to comment on it there...online. Had he told me this stuff to my face, then yes, I would tell him to his face. To comment on a real life discussion online would be inappropriate...don'tcha think? I know when I post things online, I want people to comment on it ONLINE. It bugs me when I'm at work and someone mentions a post of mine. Validate my online posts online please, not in real life!
In the excerpt I quoted, my roommate was talking about why he doesn't want kids. I like how he would not want to rule over his children as a tyrant and having them live in fear of pushing his ill-defined buttons, but he apparently has no qualms about doing so with his friends and family. He's a real jackass. He seems to be living under this assumption that just because there are two different points of view, that either of them are equally valid. I'm not sorry to point out that that's not the case. Occasionally, not only is your opinion groundless, but you can also be flat wrong and at no point am I required to treat your side like it's even relevant. Oh shit! Here comes a punch to throat! My roommate is effectively saying he is a bully [all the while he decries bullying].
I needed a few months to cool off after living with my Best Friend. I wonder how long I'll need to cool off from my current roommate? Living together was his biggest mistake as it has only caused my liking and respect for him to decline precipitously. He'll never get it back and surprisingly, that makes me sad. Living with him has been a mistake for me as well, but not as big a one as he has made living with me... I hate believing that he has been an illusory friend; that he only remained in so lofty a position because I simply rarely saw him. I've seen my Best Friend a lot and while we have fought a lot, it doesn't affect my love for her as our friendship is incredibly strong and can tolerate our occasionally turbulent emotions. We are like willow trees...deceptively strong. People around us may see a fracturing relationship, but we are as strong, if not stronger, as we have ever been. My roommate is like some mighty oak, but one whose roots have spread out through muddy soil leaving him vulnerable to a single strong storm. Sigh...
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BASIC ETIQUETTE?
I have such cheap friends. My roommate turned thirty this past Saturday and for that, he naturally decided to make a celebration of it with his friends. He created the event and hosted it himself. That's important to note: This was not a surprise party or a party being held in his honor, this was an event that he had created and he was hosting.
I'll admit that I didn't even want to go and was still feeling that way right up until the last minute. Remember, I'm pissed that he isn't looking for work and that he does nothing around this apartment despite being here the whole day. Occasionally he'll do the dishes...but only just as I was about to do them. He did that once with the bathroom too. I set everything up to start and then and only then did he volunteer to do it (and do it poorly as he did not clean the floor - why else would I have taken out the floor cleaner? --- he didn't clean the wall tiles in the bathtub or the sink or the outside of the toilet bowl either...). I'm also not happy with his masseur business and the fact that he brought clients home without telling me for a time (he also brings guys home for anonymous sex too that he meets online...this I'm not happy with either. It's the same thing as his clients. Just because he's not getting paid [or paying them] doesn't change the fact that he's bringing a person home who has not been vetted). All these things played into me wanting to ditch him on his birthday last minute: It would be the only time I could effectively hurt him. But I talked myself out of it, got up early like I was supposed to, and went to the event all the while carrying a nagging suspicion.
The family-style restaurant we went to was loud. For some reason, acoustics are not factored in to these places. This is the third restaurant of three that I've been in that I can't hear anyone (even those sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME) when it's at capacity. These places should be designed like music studios with sound absorbing walls, but instead it's wood or stone or any hard flat surface that easily reflects sound. I guess they do it because they had a sense of décor in mind but while it might look beautiful, it creates a bad conversational atmosphere. Thankfully one of the roommate's friends (whom I've met before) is easy to talk to and we kept as good a conversation as we could given the atmosphere going throughout the time I was there. Our groups need a roundtable format, seriously. There were fifteen of us, but I was only in range of three. The only good thing about the night was my schadenfreude over the seeming fact that the girl I was seated next to seemed to be playing my usual role, the wallflower, that night. Who knew I could ever be anywhere but at the bottom of the social totem pole?
Dinner was lacking. There was salad and bread as appetizers but I'm not a salad guy. I eat few vegetables as is and salads inevitably have ones I won't eat and are covered in oils which I would prefer not be on my healthy foods. The main course was lasagna and two variants of chicken...all of which were meaty and salty. I desperately needed a vegetable chaser like corn or green beans but none was to be had so I ended up eating very little.
I still had to work that night so I had to leave before dessert arrived. Thankfully I wasn't the only one leaving so I was able to secure a ride to work (though I was still late...funny how the only times I have ever been late to work was when I got a ride there!). As I'm leaving, the roommate calls me over and asks me for forty dollars to cover my share of the meal. I gave him the money while restraining my inner unhappy surprise.
Really?! I had to pay? Understand, I'm not saying this because I am cheap and fuck you if you think I am. You don't host an event and expect the attendees to pay. That's just rude: It's a violation of basic etiquette. I'd like to say I've never heard of this before, but in 2008, I got the same thing from another friend in my college group.
She had her birthday and like my roommate created the event (posting the invitation online) and hosted it at a Korean chicken restaurant in Manhattan. I and my roommate (who mentally, I was still on good terms with) went out together to go see her. Forgetting for the moment that the acoustics in this place were particularly bad (I couldn't hear ANYBODY the whole night) and the $25 minimum order (what the fuck is that?), at the end of the night we were both expected to pay for ourselves and for her. That irked me then. This current event irks me now.
Who the hell does that? When I had my 30th birthday, my Mom hosted the event. Outside of immediate family, I invited six people (only two of whom showed...). Guess what? Mom paid for the whole thing and not because she's generous but because that's what you're SUPPOSED to do when you host an event. Even impromptu stuff, the host paid be it my Mom, Dad, me, my best friend's parents, my best friend's grandparents, my uncles, my aunts, etc. etc. etc. because that's what you do. So many of my and my brother's friends have gone to movies courtesy of my Dad and never had to pay (they got popcorn and soda too). It infuriates me. No one in my family is well-off: We're all decidedly working class...but that's what you do.
I rarely host events but I have and will continue to do so. I tend to keep such events small because I can't afford to do much. But it's a simple metric --- if I invite you out to a planned event, you're not paying. If you invite yourself along, you're paying; but not the other way around [e.g. if I were to mention that I was going out to see a movie and you wanted to come along, you're paying but if I invite you to come see a movie with me, you don't pay. Get it?]. It doesn't bother me to do so. I figure what goes around, comes around. If I invite you out, you will invite me out at some point.
Oh well, once bitten...twice shy. I should've known this would happen because seriously...how could he have afforded such a place on his Unemployment Insurance? There's no way he's sucked enough dicks for money to cover it otherwise... Either way, if he could not afford to host a dinner party, he should not have had one. Hosting one anyway and expecting your attendees to pay is just plain ignorant and selfish. I just can't go out to events hosted by my college friends anymore...
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ADDENDUM: I should note that my roommate left me a note with thirty dollars writing on it that he felt bad that I ate so little (I think he thought this was so not because I was sated on what I had eaten but because I had to leave so soon into it and the dinner started later than planned). This in of itself does not negate the previous entry. I would NEVER have gotten thirty dollars back if we were not living together. I just would have had a $20 piece of lasagna and a $20 piece of chicken parmesean.
I'll admit that I didn't even want to go and was still feeling that way right up until the last minute. Remember, I'm pissed that he isn't looking for work and that he does nothing around this apartment despite being here the whole day. Occasionally he'll do the dishes...but only just as I was about to do them. He did that once with the bathroom too. I set everything up to start and then and only then did he volunteer to do it (and do it poorly as he did not clean the floor - why else would I have taken out the floor cleaner? --- he didn't clean the wall tiles in the bathtub or the sink or the outside of the toilet bowl either...). I'm also not happy with his masseur business and the fact that he brought clients home without telling me for a time (he also brings guys home for anonymous sex too that he meets online...this I'm not happy with either. It's the same thing as his clients. Just because he's not getting paid [or paying them] doesn't change the fact that he's bringing a person home who has not been vetted). All these things played into me wanting to ditch him on his birthday last minute: It would be the only time I could effectively hurt him. But I talked myself out of it, got up early like I was supposed to, and went to the event all the while carrying a nagging suspicion.
The family-style restaurant we went to was loud. For some reason, acoustics are not factored in to these places. This is the third restaurant of three that I've been in that I can't hear anyone (even those sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME) when it's at capacity. These places should be designed like music studios with sound absorbing walls, but instead it's wood or stone or any hard flat surface that easily reflects sound. I guess they do it because they had a sense of décor in mind but while it might look beautiful, it creates a bad conversational atmosphere. Thankfully one of the roommate's friends (whom I've met before) is easy to talk to and we kept as good a conversation as we could given the atmosphere going throughout the time I was there. Our groups need a roundtable format, seriously. There were fifteen of us, but I was only in range of three. The only good thing about the night was my schadenfreude over the seeming fact that the girl I was seated next to seemed to be playing my usual role, the wallflower, that night. Who knew I could ever be anywhere but at the bottom of the social totem pole?
Dinner was lacking. There was salad and bread as appetizers but I'm not a salad guy. I eat few vegetables as is and salads inevitably have ones I won't eat and are covered in oils which I would prefer not be on my healthy foods. The main course was lasagna and two variants of chicken...all of which were meaty and salty. I desperately needed a vegetable chaser like corn or green beans but none was to be had so I ended up eating very little.
I still had to work that night so I had to leave before dessert arrived. Thankfully I wasn't the only one leaving so I was able to secure a ride to work (though I was still late...funny how the only times I have ever been late to work was when I got a ride there!). As I'm leaving, the roommate calls me over and asks me for forty dollars to cover my share of the meal. I gave him the money while restraining my inner unhappy surprise.
Really?! I had to pay? Understand, I'm not saying this because I am cheap and fuck you if you think I am. You don't host an event and expect the attendees to pay. That's just rude: It's a violation of basic etiquette. I'd like to say I've never heard of this before, but in 2008, I got the same thing from another friend in my college group.
She had her birthday and like my roommate created the event (posting the invitation online) and hosted it at a Korean chicken restaurant in Manhattan. I and my roommate (who mentally, I was still on good terms with) went out together to go see her. Forgetting for the moment that the acoustics in this place were particularly bad (I couldn't hear ANYBODY the whole night) and the $25 minimum order (what the fuck is that?), at the end of the night we were both expected to pay for ourselves and for her. That irked me then. This current event irks me now.
Who the hell does that? When I had my 30th birthday, my Mom hosted the event. Outside of immediate family, I invited six people (only two of whom showed...). Guess what? Mom paid for the whole thing and not because she's generous but because that's what you're SUPPOSED to do when you host an event. Even impromptu stuff, the host paid be it my Mom, Dad, me, my best friend's parents, my best friend's grandparents, my uncles, my aunts, etc. etc. etc. because that's what you do. So many of my and my brother's friends have gone to movies courtesy of my Dad and never had to pay (they got popcorn and soda too). It infuriates me. No one in my family is well-off: We're all decidedly working class...but that's what you do.
I rarely host events but I have and will continue to do so. I tend to keep such events small because I can't afford to do much. But it's a simple metric --- if I invite you out to a planned event, you're not paying. If you invite yourself along, you're paying; but not the other way around [e.g. if I were to mention that I was going out to see a movie and you wanted to come along, you're paying but if I invite you to come see a movie with me, you don't pay. Get it?]. It doesn't bother me to do so. I figure what goes around, comes around. If I invite you out, you will invite me out at some point.
Oh well, once bitten...twice shy. I should've known this would happen because seriously...how could he have afforded such a place on his Unemployment Insurance? There's no way he's sucked enough dicks for money to cover it otherwise... Either way, if he could not afford to host a dinner party, he should not have had one. Hosting one anyway and expecting your attendees to pay is just plain ignorant and selfish. I just can't go out to events hosted by my college friends anymore...
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ADDENDUM: I should note that my roommate left me a note with thirty dollars writing on it that he felt bad that I ate so little (I think he thought this was so not because I was sated on what I had eaten but because I had to leave so soon into it and the dinner started later than planned). This in of itself does not negate the previous entry. I would NEVER have gotten thirty dollars back if we were not living together. I just would have had a $20 piece of lasagna and a $20 piece of chicken parmesean.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
THIS STORY SOUNDS FAMILIAR...
I got knocked the fuck out yesterday by some sort of cold. Fever, chills, runny nose, sneezing...the works. I actually called out of work for the first time this year too. I slept for over fourteen hours, though not in a row as I kept waking drenched in sweat or coughing every hour or so. I finally crept out of bed to find everything the way I had left it. Ugh...again? My last roommate did this to me too. Thanks for picking up the slack while I was laid out.
The dishes from the night before were all still there, unwashed...along with some additional ones. The kitchen floor is still unswept, the stove is still covered in stains from HIS cooking. Somehow only I know how to cook without covering the stove in organic filth. The dining room, which I clean like clockwork EVERY Wednesday, is still a mess. The floor, which I also vacuum the same day, undone. He didn't even get the mail. Why would it be otherwise... What the fuck does he do all day?!!
Why is it impossible for me to find people who grasp this ridiculously simple concept? I'm still not feeling well. My throat, while not sore, will likely get there as I am coughing more. I'm pretty sure I'm still feverish and I'm jumping between moments of being cold and sweating. I don't know when I'll be sleeping today but I'll have to. I can't call out again.
And of course, it's not like the reason none of these chores were done was because he was out getting interviewed for work or even LOOKING for work. Just a lazy fuck sucking off the public teat. I don't really want to live by myself, but I can't wait to be living by myself...
The dishes from the night before were all still there, unwashed...along with some additional ones. The kitchen floor is still unswept, the stove is still covered in stains from HIS cooking. Somehow only I know how to cook without covering the stove in organic filth. The dining room, which I clean like clockwork EVERY Wednesday, is still a mess. The floor, which I also vacuum the same day, undone. He didn't even get the mail. Why would it be otherwise... What the fuck does he do all day?!!
Why is it impossible for me to find people who grasp this ridiculously simple concept? I'm still not feeling well. My throat, while not sore, will likely get there as I am coughing more. I'm pretty sure I'm still feverish and I'm jumping between moments of being cold and sweating. I don't know when I'll be sleeping today but I'll have to. I can't call out again.
And of course, it's not like the reason none of these chores were done was because he was out getting interviewed for work or even LOOKING for work. Just a lazy fuck sucking off the public teat. I don't really want to live by myself, but I can't wait to be living by myself...
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
A SENSE OF URGENCY, THERE IS NOT...
My roommate is still unemployed and I know he's not looking for work. I know this not because I've asked but because he's one of those "too much information"-type people.
By default, he is primed to tell you things that have happened to him whether you've asked him or not. While this habit can be annoying to some, it's convenient for quiet-types such as myself.
Had he been going on interviews, he would have been telling me about them or at least blogging about them. Had he been putting out applications without getting callbacks, his frustration about such a situation would be known. His silence regarding his job hunts is a damning one indeed.
I'm annoyed that I gave him forms for the Census, only to have them be summarily ignored. I pointed out that my store was offering a position starting at $10/hr. He never filled out an application and now the job has finally been filled. I "love" his sense of urgency here. What an asshole...
I don't know when his benefits run out or if he qualifies for an extension of them. I don't even know what to root for. If he gets an unemployment extension, he'll simply remain at home not looking for work because he's a parasite both to me as a roommate and to the system (your tax dollars [not] at work people!) and not look for work until it's absolutely necessary for him to do so which if I'm "lucky" will not happen until after the lease is up so I can get out of here [which I really don't want to do...I like it here and resent that he's effectively making me move...I have good neighbors...I have a nice, large, relatively problem-free apartment...he has no idea how much I resent him for doing this] but if I'm not "lucky", I'll get to watch him scrambling like a high school student on the night before his month-ago-assigned essay is due.
If he's denied his benefits [which he really should be, if only for the sake of righteousness], then I'll be put in the position where he may not be able to pay his share of the bills and he'll either attempt to stay without paying [with me doing everything possible to deny him things like electricity, cable, and internet] or he'll flee thinking that if he doesn't live here that he will no longer be obligated to pay his half of the rent. Either way I'd have to sue him...a necessary, but not a desirable outcome.
Then there's also his continuing "masseur business". I'm fairly certain he's still doing that one but this one he's not talking about. Since this "activity" does not receive broadbased support/encouragement from his friends (and especially me), he's grown quiet about it. His pattern is a simple one: if people are supportive [or at least neutral], the rule of TMI holds. Since there's no way he could expect to be supported by his friends that he is leeching off the system, he doesn't talk about the fact that he lazes about on the couch all day; that he's not looking for work; and that he's happy to let me do all the fucking work around here. When my roommate goes quiet, it's because he's doing something wrong. Ugh...I hate having to hope that this "work" will yield enough income for us to part amicably.
Unless by a miracle he secures a job, I have no happy ending options...only frustrating ones. I don't want to live by myself. Doing so feels like an endgame for me...like my story is over. I'll feel as though I will have bottomed out with my life-options and never climb up out of them. A roommate affords me a more luxurious life but I've run out of people whom I can trust. Once I'm on my own, I can't see myself moving again except by miracle [read: move in with a fiancée] or by force or by poverty. Why would I want to take a chance on another roommate if it'll just mean moving again after a year or two? I'm tired of moving but I also don't look forward to officially living a lonely life.....
By default, he is primed to tell you things that have happened to him whether you've asked him or not. While this habit can be annoying to some, it's convenient for quiet-types such as myself.
Had he been going on interviews, he would have been telling me about them or at least blogging about them. Had he been putting out applications without getting callbacks, his frustration about such a situation would be known. His silence regarding his job hunts is a damning one indeed.
I'm annoyed that I gave him forms for the Census, only to have them be summarily ignored. I pointed out that my store was offering a position starting at $10/hr. He never filled out an application and now the job has finally been filled. I "love" his sense of urgency here. What an asshole...
I don't know when his benefits run out or if he qualifies for an extension of them. I don't even know what to root for. If he gets an unemployment extension, he'll simply remain at home not looking for work because he's a parasite both to me as a roommate and to the system (your tax dollars [not] at work people!) and not look for work until it's absolutely necessary for him to do so which if I'm "lucky" will not happen until after the lease is up so I can get out of here [which I really don't want to do...I like it here and resent that he's effectively making me move...I have good neighbors...I have a nice, large, relatively problem-free apartment...he has no idea how much I resent him for doing this] but if I'm not "lucky", I'll get to watch him scrambling like a high school student on the night before his month-ago-assigned essay is due.
If he's denied his benefits [which he really should be, if only for the sake of righteousness], then I'll be put in the position where he may not be able to pay his share of the bills and he'll either attempt to stay without paying [with me doing everything possible to deny him things like electricity, cable, and internet] or he'll flee thinking that if he doesn't live here that he will no longer be obligated to pay his half of the rent. Either way I'd have to sue him...a necessary, but not a desirable outcome.
Then there's also his continuing "masseur business". I'm fairly certain he's still doing that one but this one he's not talking about. Since this "activity" does not receive broadbased support/encouragement from his friends (and especially me), he's grown quiet about it. His pattern is a simple one: if people are supportive [or at least neutral], the rule of TMI holds. Since there's no way he could expect to be supported by his friends that he is leeching off the system, he doesn't talk about the fact that he lazes about on the couch all day; that he's not looking for work; and that he's happy to let me do all the fucking work around here. When my roommate goes quiet, it's because he's doing something wrong. Ugh...I hate having to hope that this "work" will yield enough income for us to part amicably.
Unless by a miracle he secures a job, I have no happy ending options...only frustrating ones. I don't want to live by myself. Doing so feels like an endgame for me...like my story is over. I'll feel as though I will have bottomed out with my life-options and never climb up out of them. A roommate affords me a more luxurious life but I've run out of people whom I can trust. Once I'm on my own, I can't see myself moving again except by miracle [read: move in with a fiancée] or by force or by poverty. Why would I want to take a chance on another roommate if it'll just mean moving again after a year or two? I'm tired of moving but I also don't look forward to officially living a lonely life.....
Friday, October 1, 2010
AND THEY'RE BACK...
So Opie and Anthony have signed another 2-year deal. A mediocre one in Opie's words. I hate to admit that I'm feeling a little disappointed. It feels like I'm turning my back on a friend; but I have to admit that I was looking forward to some time off. Two more years of the same now.
Oh well. It's not like this is a bad thing in the end. I like the humor. I like the laughing. So it's not really a loss to me. I really should be more responsible. I guess it'll be easier when I'm living alone since then it'll all be on me officially rather than being resentful that it's all on me now when it shouldn't be.
Oh well. It's not like this is a bad thing in the end. I like the humor. I like the laughing. So it's not really a loss to me. I really should be more responsible. I guess it'll be easier when I'm living alone since then it'll all be on me officially rather than being resentful that it's all on me now when it shouldn't be.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
BIDING MY TIME...
So that "lead" on a job for my roommate seems to have been a false one. Therefore, he's still deliberately unemployed. He's attributing it to his mother misrepresenting the situation. So far his follow-up to all this is to continue marathoning the entire LOST series on the couch most of the day, pecking at his computer on this and that writing "project" that he either will not or cannot put out there, and still engaging in his "masseur" business.
June 30, 2011 cannot come soon enough...
He was finally out of the apartment long enough for me to marathon all the TV I recorded last week. I hate doing that. I'd much rather watch television in small chunks but instead I'm relegated to a four or five hour marathon-fest (cut one hour short because I fucked up the settings for Survivor) because I can't know when I'll have unfettered access to both the television and couch again. Ugh...
Yay, time to go clean the bathroom because why would he ever do it...
June 30, 2011 cannot come soon enough...
He was finally out of the apartment long enough for me to marathon all the TV I recorded last week. I hate doing that. I'd much rather watch television in small chunks but instead I'm relegated to a four or five hour marathon-fest (cut one hour short because I fucked up the settings for Survivor) because I can't know when I'll have unfettered access to both the television and couch again. Ugh...
Yay, time to go clean the bathroom because why would he ever do it...
Friday, September 24, 2010
DOES THIS MEAN I CAN WATCH SOME TV NOW?
The roommate says his mother got him an interview for a job...finally. Holy crap do I need him out of this apartment during the day so that maybe, just maybe, I could have access to the goddamned living room. Holy fuck. Nice to know that he has been entirely incapable of procuring this interview himself and that it was instead his mother, the very one whom he blames for many of his problems, that "pulled some strings" to get this done. What an ingrate.
Unfortunately, I got this news several days ago. I haven't heard anything new so did he or didn't he get this job? *grumble, grumble*
Unfortunately, I got this news several days ago. I haven't heard anything new so did he or didn't he get this job? *grumble, grumble*
Thursday, September 16, 2010
A QUICK THOUGHT
I used to fight a lot with my previous roommate, a person who was/is my best friend. She gets annoyed that I don't fight similarly with my new roommate despite the fact that he has been a far worse one in terms of helping out around the apartment. I think the reason is thus:
Outside of expecting him to pay his bills on time, I have no expectations of my current roommate and unfortunately, he meets them.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
MORE SHIT ABOUT THE ROOMMATE
My roommate again is demonstrating poor fiscal priorities. He is still unemployed and his benefits will expire soon. While he has made (and for all I know is still making [he doesn't talk to me about it]) money doing his illicit thing, he still needs a significant amount of cash to make it to the end of the lease.
So what has he done?
Why, he bought LOST: The Complete Series on DVD. And he bought the entire series after committing to the purchase (while still employed) to the five previous seasons in their own boxed sets. Forgetting for the moment that he shouldn't be buying ANYTHING of this nature given that he remains unemployed and that he owes his best friend literally thousands of dollars... Why didn't he just buy the sixth season? Or for that matter, if there is something on this complete set that could not be had elsewhere, why buy the previous seasons? He got them all just a few months ago so it's not like he couldn't have anticipated the creation of such a set. Over $150. Just beautiful.
And this isn't the first time he's done this. He also loves the Nickelodeon cartoon Avatar: The Last Airbender. He already owns the entire series on DVD. Nickelodeon's milking the show's fans by releasing "Collectors' Editions" of the series. Guess what he's also been buying? He spends money like it's on fire.
But I guess I am the greater fool cuz I'm the one who decided to live with him in the first place. This lease can't be over soon enough. And I say that as someone who HATES moving.....
So what has he done?
Why, he bought LOST: The Complete Series on DVD. And he bought the entire series after committing to the purchase (while still employed) to the five previous seasons in their own boxed sets. Forgetting for the moment that he shouldn't be buying ANYTHING of this nature given that he remains unemployed and that he owes his best friend literally thousands of dollars... Why didn't he just buy the sixth season? Or for that matter, if there is something on this complete set that could not be had elsewhere, why buy the previous seasons? He got them all just a few months ago so it's not like he couldn't have anticipated the creation of such a set. Over $150. Just beautiful.
And this isn't the first time he's done this. He also loves the Nickelodeon cartoon Avatar: The Last Airbender. He already owns the entire series on DVD. Nickelodeon's milking the show's fans by releasing "Collectors' Editions" of the series. Guess what he's also been buying? He spends money like it's on fire.
But I guess I am the greater fool cuz I'm the one who decided to live with him in the first place. This lease can't be over soon enough. And I say that as someone who HATES moving.....
Friday, August 27, 2010
MY ROOMMATE HAS SCORCHED POCKETS
My roommate has been unemployed since March of this year, happily sucking off New Jersey's ample unemployment insurance teat, and only as of this month actually (barely) seeking employment. It's been a really frustrating experience considering how brutally hot this Summer has been. Had he been working, I could've been enjoying the relative coolness of the living room but no, I've been confined to my fucking hot room with a fan blowing hot air on me.
In desperation, he has posted an ad on Craig's List as a "masseur"...we all know what that means. He's actually gotten responses and has been happy as fuck (so to speak) that he has been able to earn money in this manner. He ecstatically points out that he will now have no problem covering next month's rent...hooray! (what about the other eight months?)
Now, if you were chronically broke because you've had difficulty holding down a job for whatever reason, what do you do once you are again employed? Do you vigorously save your cash because your next bout of unemployment may be merely months away or do you decide to celebrate by taking you and your not-quite boyfriend out to dinner? He's been living paycheck-to-paycheck (unemployment check-to-unemployment check) for a long time now not because he's been terribly unlucky in the job market but basically because he's terminally stupid when it comes to money matters. He had a decent job for an entire year earning slightly more than me. He has no savings from this job to draw on, even before he was fired. He pissed it all away fiddling away like some Aesopian grasshopper rather than taking on the role of the ant. I've even found out that he owes his best friend thousands of dollars -- for years now -- of which he has paid back exactly nothing...but he's got the money to take his fuckbuddy out to dinner, to buy expensive gifts for his now ex-boyfriend...what an asshole to treat his friend like that. Not even token repayments to show that he intends to do the right thing. It's like he's waiting for a windfall rather than be responsible about it.
I'm also getting wind that he is thinking of moving out in January like he can just walk away from a lease without consequences. I really don't want to sue one of my friends for money owed but he clearly has no idea how a legal contract works and seeing as how he has made no effort to repay his other friend over the years, trusting him to an oral contract would be an act of utter stupidity on my part. How retarded do you have to be to think you can renege on a contract like it's no big deal? Holy fuck... I really don't want to sue him but he really needs to grow the fuck up and if me doing that causes him to do so, then maybe that will make me a good friend to him after all.
In desperation, he has posted an ad on Craig's List as a "masseur"...we all know what that means. He's actually gotten responses and has been happy as fuck (so to speak) that he has been able to earn money in this manner. He ecstatically points out that he will now have no problem covering next month's rent...hooray! (what about the other eight months?)
Now, if you were chronically broke because you've had difficulty holding down a job for whatever reason, what do you do once you are again employed? Do you vigorously save your cash because your next bout of unemployment may be merely months away or do you decide to celebrate by taking you and your not-quite boyfriend out to dinner? He's been living paycheck-to-paycheck (unemployment check-to-unemployment check) for a long time now not because he's been terribly unlucky in the job market but basically because he's terminally stupid when it comes to money matters. He had a decent job for an entire year earning slightly more than me. He has no savings from this job to draw on, even before he was fired. He pissed it all away fiddling away like some Aesopian grasshopper rather than taking on the role of the ant. I've even found out that he owes his best friend thousands of dollars -- for years now -- of which he has paid back exactly nothing...but he's got the money to take his fuckbuddy out to dinner, to buy expensive gifts for his now ex-boyfriend...what an asshole to treat his friend like that. Not even token repayments to show that he intends to do the right thing. It's like he's waiting for a windfall rather than be responsible about it.
I'm also getting wind that he is thinking of moving out in January like he can just walk away from a lease without consequences. I really don't want to sue one of my friends for money owed but he clearly has no idea how a legal contract works and seeing as how he has made no effort to repay his other friend over the years, trusting him to an oral contract would be an act of utter stupidity on my part. How retarded do you have to be to think you can renege on a contract like it's no big deal? Holy fuck... I really don't want to sue him but he really needs to grow the fuck up and if me doing that causes him to do so, then maybe that will make me a good friend to him after all.