SONGS THAT CAN JUST GO AWAY, part XII

     Okay, look, the hotness of Ariana Grande aside, this song is a mess.

     I'm not saying it isn't catchy. Of course it is. An impressive amount of cynical calculation goes into making today's pop music to ensure such outcomes. No, the problem (no pun intended) with this song is it's doing too much and yes, I'm saying 820.4 million views (as of this post) can be wrong...

     First of all, I think this song was given to the wrong performer. And yes, performer. I'm not for a moment going to pretend that Ariana Grande is anything more than a performer in her industry. If you want to be an artist, you have to be able to do more than sing songs and Ms. Grande has not been presented to us as anything more than a singer of someone else's songs. There's no shame in that as it's a staple of the music industry. Not everyone can sing, write lyrics, compose music, plays such compositions, and arrange it all into a presentable piece. Farming out that work to professionals has created some of the best music we've ever been given.
     I'm just not going to call you an artist for being a professional singer/performer. I'll reserve that title for people who can do at least three of those five things.
     But the point I'm getting at is this song seems out of Ariana Grande's range. When I hear it played on the radio, I can barely make out what she's singing. She's trying to sustain notes either too high for her or too high at that tempo. Plus it sounds rather nasal, no?

     Secondly, I hate featuring. Again, it's been done for a long time but in the past it felt more like something a friend was doing for another like Eric Clapton playing the solo on "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" or Greg Hawkes playing keyboards for some of Ric Ocasek's solo work. And featuring back then was another artist contributing to the work of the main artist. Nowadays featuring feels like an intrusion to the song you've been listening to.
     This too goes back a while as I can remember some No Doubt songs off the album Rocksteady having featured artists and I think in the rap industry, it goes even further back.
     Iggy Azalea, however, is an intrusion. Her presence takes away from, rather than enhances, the work. It's as though someone had changed the radio station in the middle of the song before changing it back. It's almost like a commercial you must endure before returning to your regularly scheduled programming.
     Again, I get it. It's about money. Having hip-hop in your pop song gives it crossover appeal which means more $$$.

     On a side note though... How is Iggy Azalea not considered to be doing something equivalent to blackface? She's a white Australian affecting a decidedly "black" voice. I guess that's considered okay now? Or is it one of those "it can't be racist because" things since she's not American? I don't know...

     But perhaps the most glaring thing about this song is you can't know whose song it is. It's not Iggy Azalea's because she's just in it for the bridge but it's arguably not Ariana Grande's song either because should the band/performer be the one singing the chorus?
     I mean, think about it. What is the chorus to "Problem"? It's nothing Ms. Grande sings. It's that guy whispering "I got one less problem without'cha": that's the chorus. Nothing else qualifies and that's something that makes this song very confusing. Its most memorable part (which is typically the chorus, though yes it can be a bitchin' solo) is not sung by the headlining performer but by another hip-hop artist named Big Sean so is it his song then despite his minimal presence?
     I would have to say yes because that's how I feel when listening to songs. The chorus is generally the most important part as it's repeated, making it easy to learn quickly and allowing the song itself to become embedded in one's mind when it hits right. It focuses your attention on the song and since it's not performed by Ms. Grande, it makes the whole experience weird.


"Problem (feat. Iggy Azalea)" by Ariana Grande
     It's not a bad song when taken in parts, but because it is messy, it needs to go away...

VIDEOGAME MUSIC

     A project I've been enjoying as of late has been making a mix-tape of videogame music, or whatever it is mix-tapes are called today since they're digital files organized on a flash drive.

     Videogame music is like the classical music of my generation and thanks to sites like YouTube, Zophar's Domain, NES-SNES-SPRITES, and a few others, it's been possible to compile a collection of soundtracks from the game systems I've owned over the years and even the music from some old arcade games that took many of my quarters years ago.

     I've learned that I've played a lot of games over the years. So far I have almost 600 songs from the Atari2600, Atari5200, NES, SNES, Sega Genesis, Game Boy, PC-DOS, and arcade systems. I didn't think there would be so many and some, like end-of-game boss rushes were made into medleys. I've almost got everything I can remember. It just can be tedious editing the music for two cycles and a proper fade-out.

     But like I said, it's been fun and the resulting USB drive of 8 and 16-bit soundtracks is fun to listen to.

SEVEN DEADLY SINS (play-at-home version)

(click to enlarge)

     I saw this image floating around online and thought it interesting enough to give it a try. Which one would you choose? They each have ups and downs. The only trouble I have is that what is promised is light on details, making me wonder if participation in this game would find you the victim of a Jerk Genie. But let's consider, shall we?

ENVY, option A: I'm not entirely sure what is meant by "aspect of your life" and while it certainly could be used for good, trading a good quality of one's own for a bad quality in another to give that person a shot at a better life, the evil implication is that you're basically fucking over one of your friends with something about yourself you don't like, trading it for something desirable in the other friend. Is this limited to mental aspects or conceptual things like "luck", or are you able to trade for, say, a full head of hair if you were balding or increased height if you felt yourself too short? It doesn't say and it would certainly suck to find out it had to be nonphysical when you wanted something physical, wouldn't it?
     Definitely wouldn't take this option.

ENVY, option B: Trading lives. Does this mean I continue having my own body but people react to me like I were the other person or does it mean body-swapping? Either way, what is to stop the forcibly traded person from coming after me for having stolen his/her life? Sounds dangerous to accept, no?
     I'm gonna have to say no to this one as well.

SLOTH, option A: This is most certainly the safest option I would think. By far the best default in the event you find you cannot forfeit choosing one of these options. Median household income for the year 2012, according to the OECD, was $30,932. Another chart shows the median 2011 income from the U.S. Census Bureau at $50,054, a considerable difference. The former isn't much more than I make now while the latter would make me feel solidly Middle Class.
     Of course, the country whose median income your sloth check would be based on is never stated nor whether the amount would be indexed for inflation or fixed at the present year's value making this option potentially risky, especially given that you would never work a day (which could also mean you're in a coma). I want to take this one, but what if I end up receiving Mexico's median annual income ($4,493 in U.S. dollars)? That would certainly suck and you know there are worse countries than that...
     Now I'm thinking this wouldn't be such a safe bet after all.

SLOTH, option B: Same shitty life I have now except that I always feel rested after I sleep. Again, I'm assuming this reduced sleep is still enough to keep healthy and not like a drug. Assuming this genie isn't totally a jerkass, this option could prove a bit ironic to the sin as you could now being WAY more productive than would otherwise be possible for a human being. If a five minute nap counts as a full day's rest, what's to stop you from always pulling all-nighters, tinkering with all sorts of hobbies, partying 'til dawn on worknights, having your cake and eating it too when it comes to business and pleasure, etc.?
     Even though I'd still have to work, this one could be a good "if I have to" option even if the health risks do exist. It would mean simply be careful not to abuse your power, like one must be careful not to abuse pain medications lest their effectiveness dwindle. I mean I hope it would be that simple and not some other horrible side-effect...

WRATH, option A: Certainly a very tempting option. Both options come with the same potential drawback: are you able to get away with these crimes? I would like to believe proving it in court would be impossible but then being tied up in court having to defend oneself could prove costly and as the O.J. Simpson civil trial showed, being acquitted of murder doesn't mean one cannot still be found liable financially.
     Also, must you inflict this annual fate or can you be merciful and skip a year? Can you bank fates (I'll assume not). Must the fates be terrible or can they be used to slowly grant lottery victories or spontaneous remissions of cancer?
     Of course the wording states that the target must be "of my wrath" making me presumably less likely to wish to be civil about it...

WRATH, option B: You get a monthly option provided the fate be non-lethal - though it can be delayed - but like the above, it must be visited upon an object of rage making this power decidedly useless to pervert in order to help family and friends out.
     Still...I can be pretty creative in my non-lethal horrors but again I wonder, do I have to do this once-a-month or just once-a-month maximum? It makes a difference because I'm just not that angry of a man. I'd run out of justifiable (to myself anyway) targets pretty quickly and my remaining lifetime could still be quite long...

LUST, option A: This really sounds like a roundabout description of rape, doesn't it? Speaking as someone unlucky in both love and hooking up, this is a very tempting option as it would allow me to fulfill a number of fantasies...from my perspective at least. As the nightmare of my prowess is visited upon my targets, what becomes of them afterward? Do they remember hooking up with me but unsure why they weren't able to resist? Are they happy for having done so? Do they regret it? How much time afterward do I have before their free will kicks back in? Like it has been said allegedly of the Devil, would I have no power over true love, meaning I could only hook up with single girls (which would more than suck as I've lusted after a few boyfriended/married girls in my life)? Will it be reported as a rape, tying up my time in courtrooms like with the wrath options?
     Lots of questions with no help offered from the option's description. Still...a tempting option regardless of the potential problems. Yeah, I'm a terrible human being...

LUST, option B: While this sounds like a safer option, I need reality for my fantasies to work. It's like asking for a hug. It's not the same as a hug given freely. Having a shapeshifter who could turn into a crush I could then fuck is not the same as being able to fuck the crush herself.

PRIDE, option A: Fame and popularity. Again, for what is not made clear nor is it in any way certain that I would have a choice over as to why I'm famous and popular. Serial killers tend to be both (except with their victims' families I would imagine). Not exactly something I would like to be prideful of, especially since it would likely mean a lifetime of imprisonment...or pending execution depending on the state. One might also be famous and popular for having exposed national secrets à la Snowden but then stuck in a life of exile for it, always looking over one's shoulder. Many good results and many bad results can come from this...

PRIDE, option B: I like this option, a powerful and commanding aura. I get to be automatically respected and feared by those around me. However, is this a power I have control over or am I always that way? While it could be useful, even when always on, it would make it hard to have friends and those friends you already do have would treat you differently, denying you their honesty.
     If I could turn this power on and off at will or if I could grant exceptions to certain people (even if such exceptions were irreversible), that might be better but still...without clarification, I think this option too risky to assume...

GREED, option A: Actually this seems like the safest option now, unless this hundredfold increase in salary is the result of a bank robbery (I think that's how a genie got wished-for money in a Woody Woodpecker cartoon once: I watched too many cartoons as a kid). Also, is this an annual - but now fixed - 100x salary or just a one-time thing and future years are my present salary with no possibility of a raise and/or promotion ever after? Something perhaps that should've been cleared up in the text. I'm assuming it's a one-time thing since there are no restrictions on how I may spend my new found wealth. 100x my present salary would be plenty for the rest of my life barring a serious illness.
     Maybe I shouldn't give this genie ideas...

GREED, option B: This is actually an interesting option but what would I so covet that I would wish simply to have it with no ability to do anything with it except possess or sell it at a loss/give away freely since I cannot make money off it?
     A double-edged sword indeed...

GLUTTONY, option A: Sounds nice though I would suspect hedonic adaptation would ultimately apply, ruining the joy of this choice...

GLUTTONY, option B: None of the negative side-effects of eating? Does this mean I could eat poisons and be unaffected by them? Are all my poops now perfect, no-wipe-needed wonders? This power could be an interesting way to make money from bets...

     Overall, I'm not sure which one I would take. If I could forfeit the game, I would to play it safe. As mentioned, I've seen too many cartoons and TV shows with jerk genies, literal genies, etc. I don't think any of them ever got the job by choice which might explain why they delight in creating misfortune with their power.
      But if I had to choose, despite the unclear wording, the life of leisure that would (presumably) be afforded me with an annual median income and not having to work for a living. Option A Lust would certainly have its uses but I can't see how I wouldn't feel guilty, at least eventually, for having exercised it. Same with either Wrath option...


"Seven Deadly Sins" by The Traveling Wilburys
     Perhaps a differently worded version might be composed by someone more lawyerly? Internet, I'm waiting...

SONGS THAT CAN JUST GO AWAY, part XI

     Katy Perry's "Firework" has been annoying the internet for some time now and it annoys the shit out of me too. It's not even because it's a sappy self-empowerment song, the kinds of which I've railed against before. No, what bugs me about it is the shoddily written chorus.

     At first I thought it was just another example of Katy Perry's sometimes odd enunciations (listen to "California Gurls" for a good example of this). At times it feels like she is in a competition with Celine Dion for odd vocalizations. But I digress...

     I had a difficult time understanding the chorus and did my damnedest to try to find words which fit. I should mention that this song plays at work so I've had no choice but to listen to it many, many times. The chorus sounds to the uninitiated like:

♪♫ Baby, you're a firework!

Go on show them what your worth

Make them go (unintelligible three repeated syllables)

As you shoot across the sky-y-y!

Baby, you're a firework!

Go on let your colors burst

Make them go (unintelligible three repeated syllables)

You're gonna leave going (unintelligible three different repeated syllables) ♫♪

     Now hearing "sky-y-y" I assumed the first three misunderstood syllables had to be "high" and that kinda made sense: "Make them go high, high, high // As you shoot across the sky-y-y!" But try as I might, I couldn't come up with a good rhyme scheme. "high, high, high // why-y-y?" Nah...

     Finally after many weeks of this, I managed to remember to dedicate a few moments of my uneventful life to looking up the song's lyrics. What I saw brought this song from tolerable to fuck no, I want it to just go away. Here're the actual lyrics:

♪♫ Baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe ♫♪

     Okay, I had a few errors: "Go on" was "Come on" & "You're gonna leave them going" was actually "You're gonna leave 'em all in" Whatever. Divining lyrics is sometimes a complex art. Believe me, I know...I'm a Squeeze fan. But the rhyming couplets are what threw me. "Make them go, 'Ah, ah, ah' // As you shoot across the sky-y-y"? "Make them go, 'Ah, ah, ah' // You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe"?

     What the fuck was that? That's just terrible. No wonder my brain couldn't figure out the lyrics. It would have never accepted such a shitty couplet. I'm pretty sure Katy Perry doesn't write her own songs so it leaves me wondering what sort of professional songwriter would've found such couplets acceptable for singing? Hell, even in written poetry they'd suck. She barely differentiates between the words too. How was anyone supposed to know what she was singing? My brain just...no, it can't.

     This song just needs to go away already...

And it's got over 450 million views...

LINE OF THE DAY, part XXXIII

From commenter Heras-clitus on the article 5 Reasons to Be Terrified That Computers Can Now Read Faces on Cracked.com (forgoing the usual centering and italicizing since it would interrupt the flow of the comment):

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell ......check
Blue skies from pain ......check
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail? .....check
A smile from a veil? .....check
Do you think you can tell? check and confirmed

Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts? ......Transaction complete
Hot ashes for trees? ......Confirmed
Hot air for a cool breeze? .....Action in progress
Cold comfort for change? .......Processing
And did you exchange
A walk on part in a war
For a lead role in a cage? .....virtual monitoring successfully uploaded, consciousness
currently updating

How I wish, how I wish you were here .....localization routine complete
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl .....containment verified
Year after year .....time stamp comfirmed
Running over the same old ground ......optimizing course corrections
What have we found? ......updating data categories
The same old fears ......boasting Gherlin and Serotonin intakes
Wish you were here ......creating live uplink, holograms and neural real time
connections. YOU ARE NOW HERE.

Bra-vo...


"Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd

LINE OF THE DAY, part XXXII

From this article on Cracked "5 Inspiring True Stories for Anyone Feeling Cynical Today", there appeared this, by commenter Thunderous, in the comments section:

#5 is just perfect. Mister Rogers was perhaps the greatest person to walk this planet for hundreds of years- he was kind, gentle, humble and he loved everybody. And because I can't see his name without thinking of this story, I'd like to share what happened when he was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Emmy:

Mister Rogers went onstage to accept the award — and there, in front of all the soap opera stars and talk show sinceratrons, in front of all the jutting man-tanned jaws and jutting saltwater bosoms, he made his small bow and said into the microphone, "All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are. Ten seconds of silence."
And then he lifted his wrist, looked at the audience, looked at his watch, and said, "I'll watch the time." There was, at first, a small whoop from the crowd, a giddy, strangled hiccup of laughter, as people realized that he wasn't kidding, that Mister Rogers was not some convenient eunuch, but rather a man, an authority figure who actually expected them to do what he asked. And so they did. One second, two seconds, three seconds — and now the jaws clenched, and the bosoms heaved, and the mascara ran, and the tears fell upon the beglittered gathering like rain leaking down a crystal chandelier. And Mister Rogers finally looked up from his watch and said softly "May God be with you," to all his vanquished children

There was a follow-up comment (on a different comment) by commenter Cobra-D that I also liked about Mr. Rogers: "No, no [Mr. Roger]'s not [an ex-marine]. Just a saint among us heathens"


Mr. Roger's Neighborhood opening theme

GOLDEN YEARS...

Not the image I saw originally, but this will do

     One of my Facebook friends reposted an image macro reminding us that ten years ago was no longer the 1990's in an effort to depress us. While I cannot speak for the rest, I can say that it did depress me. That FUUUUUUUUck revelation of time having passed, never to return. It reminds me again how the entirety of my twenties had been wasted...time I will never get back. That endless frustration...
     But it also reminded me of how I arbitrarily look at things.

FACEBOOK CUTTING ROOM FLOOR

     It's been a while since I've done a Rejected Facebook Statuses dump. So let's begin, shall we?

STEAL THIS IDEA, part III

     I don't think I can read "part (number)" anymore except in Harry Plinkett's voice :-)

     Just a quick one today, a thought for a joke...albeit a severely dated one. It's entirely possible Family Guy has already done this but a cursory internet search yielded nothing.

     Imagine a cut-away joke or even just a freeze-frame joke of a Japanese band called Japanson. Get it? After the group Hanson of "Mmm-Bop" fame? If it's a visual gag, no further joke is needed...but if a cutaway, they should be singing a parody of "Mmm-Bop" I would say in the form of a rhyme and that rhyme should reference something Japanese. If I knew the language, I would supply an example. Or you could go lazy and just have them sing "Mmm-Bop" with a Japanese accent ("Nnn-Bappo"?)


DISCLAIMER: To anyone reading this, you are welcome to not only use, but claim this idea as your own without giving credit to me. I sometimes have ideas, but I do not have the skills needed to express them. It is more important to me to see these ideas done than to receive recognition for them. That being said, giving me a mention anyway would make me giddy. If this idea has in fact already been done, then I strongly suggest you not actually steal it (at least not without major revisions) :-)

SHE GOT KRISTEN STEWART EYES

InStyle.com

      I am no artist when it comes to description and I may very go five for five with incorrect associations here, but there's something about Kristen Stewart's eyes that draws me in. Any girl I've seen with eyes even similar to hers gets the go-ahead to cut to the front of the line and past the bouncers at my Mind's entrance, even though her name does not appear on "the list."
      And it's not the color or her eyes...it's the way they're set in her, uh...skull(? Yeah, that sounded sexy...) that gets me. Ms. Stewart accents her eyes with a dark shadow which only draws more attention to what I'm trying (and failing) to properly refer to. It's like her eyes have this, I dunno, sadness to them and while admitting this surely will not reflect well on me, I find that appearance of sadness so very attractive. How would you describe Kristen Stewart's eyes?
      Thanks to my amblings on dating sites, I think I've found a few additional examples of Ms. Stewart's eye type or additional examples showing that I don't know what I'm talking about. You decide... :-P

(click on image to enlarge)

"Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes

Yes, I went there...

VIDEO GAMES AND LIFE

      Of all the things that video games get blamed for when it comes to supposedly ruining young minds, there is one feature of these games that goes overlooked and yet it is this feature which gets filtered deeply into our subconsciousness, lingering there...festering...and poised to create a feeling of utter damnation once its trap has been sprung.

       Now I'm talking classic games like Super Mario Bros., Megaman, and Castlevania. They all had something in common besides scorekeeping. You got three chances. If you died, you got to start the stage over and try again. You alone retain the experience of the failure; the environment you're respawned in completely forgives you. The enemies, tricks, and/or traps which had, just moments ago, caused your downfall are all reset with no memory of your previous attempt. You're allowed another attempt at success and may do so while not in fear of judgement.

       It should come as no surprise that life is in no way like this. You fail and you have to live with it. Not only are you denied that which you had attempted to acquire/master/etc. but you have to make do with it and everyone who witnessed your failure will continue to remember it. You do not get to try again. You stay the way you are and how much older you've become over the course of the failed attempt. There's no second chance to get it right. No chance to figure out what you were supposed to do, what you did wrong, what you should have said or done... In fact, it doesn't matter if you figure it all out because it's too late...it's over...you lose.

      I hate seeing how all the mistakes I've made have compounded and there's nothing I can ever do about it because there's no redo. I have to live with them. I have to live with my wasted youth and adolescence. It's all gone...

I HATE HORROR FILMS

      I just don't like horror films. All too often they are poorly written, badly acted, too dark (absence of light too dark, not the other kind), too predictable, obviously low-budget, and (among other things) lacking in compelling characters. And they're not scary. A quick cut-away or sudden loud noise does not scary make. "It's not actually talented filmmaking if you can get the same effect from popping a bag of potato chips behind somebody's head."

      And for those assholes out there who would counter me with, (mocking tone) "Well, then why you don't you make a horror film then?" You're a fucking idiot. You don't have to be a filmmaker, an actor, a writer, a grip, a director, a producer, etc. to criticize a work. I couldn't play "You May Be Right" if my life depended on it, but I would know immediately if you missed a note, lyric, or sang off-key and I can't do either of those things either so such challenges to criticism are meaningless.

I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part XXXIV

"Dancing Crazy" by Miranda Cosgrove

This song sounds so incredibly high-schooly: I shouldn't even know it exists but the manager at work likes the Hitline station on MUZAK so I get to hear what the kids today are listening to. I can feel that this song would have been popular had it come out when I was still a student. I really don't want to like this song, but I do. It's that "I like you and you like me; we get together and we're hap-py" part that gets me. Yes, I am a faggot. At least I actually I don't know who Miranda Cosgrove is...

THIS BLOG IS SEARCHABLE, RIGHT?

      I remember this song off the MUZAK player at work. I loved it but could not find it via a Google search for the life of me. No one had ever heard of the song and no matter how much of the lyrics I collected (and those lyrics were hardly generic), it would not turn up in a search. I only found the name of the group and song via the brute force method: I hung around the MUZAK site watching what was playing on the station I had heard the song on (FM1) and kept checking back periodically for days until the song came up again. I was thrilled when I had finally succeeded and "Greeting Committee" by The Pillbugs became the first MP3 I had ever purchased online. I actually put in efforts to get the lyrics of this song posted online, but for some reason, though accepted by various sites, they never got published. Let me (hopefully) rectify this now.

       So without further ado, let me post the lyrics to this song. Anything I'm uncertain of is in parentheses.

"GREETING COMMITTEE"

by

THE PILLBUGS

Something tells me I should skip this drink

Things could change the moment that I blink

I don't think they're coming for me

Ever since I dared to arrive

Until the moment they go away from here

I can't rest my mind

Something tells me

This is not a paranoid assumption

To be lightly cast aside

(And) I've been trying to sleep with open eyes

According to my calculations

They'll be here before sunrise

And please don't you look at me this way

You'll find out first-hand why

When they come around...

When they come around...

When they come around...

Something tells me I

Better pull myself together

I've been (pushed into the weather)

And it's darker than it's ever been at night

I don't think they're coming for me

Ever since I dared to arrive

And as soon as they go away from here

We can both learn why

Something tells me (logic's opposition)

And I'm certain I'll be wishing it was right

Ooh, when they come around

I don't wanna be found

No, I don't wanna be found here

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

No, no, no, no, no, no

When they come around

"Greeting Committee" by The Pillbugs

ADDENDUM: Yes. Yes it is.

I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part XXXIII

"Tous les Garçons" by Françoise Hardy
I don't normally print the lyrics, but since they're in French, I figure it might help you follow along.
Tous les garçons et les filles de mon âge
se promènent dans la rue deux par deux
tous les garçons et les filles de mon âge
savent bien ce que c'est d'être heureux

et les yeux dans les yeux et la main dans la main
ils s'en vont amoureux sans peur du lendemain
oui mais moi, je vais seule par les rues, l'âme en peine
oui mais moi, je vais seule, car personne ne m'aime

mes jours comme mes nuits
sont en tous points pareils
sans joies et pleins d'ennuis
personne ne murmure "je t'aime" à mon oreille

tous les garçons et les filles de mon âge
font ensemble des projets d'avenir
tous les garçons et les filles de mon âge
savent très bien ce qu'aimer veut dire

et les yeux dans les yeux et la main dans la main
ils s'en vont amoureux sans peur du lendemain
oui mais moi, je vais seule par les rues, l'âme en peine
oui mais moi, je vais seule, car personne ne m'aime

mes jours comme mes nuits
sont en tous points pareils
sans joies et pleins d'ennuis
oh! quand donc pour moi brillera le soleil?

comme les garçons et les filles de mon âge
connaîtrais-je bientôt ce qu'est l'amour?
comme les garçons et les filles de mon âge
je me demande quand viendra le jour

où les yeux dans ses yeux et la main dans sa main
j'aurai le coeur heureux sans peur du lendemain
le jour où je n'aurai plus du tout l'âme en peine
le jour où moi aussi j'aurai quelqu'un qui m'aime

I'm starting to really like Françoise Hardy. Cracked originally introduced her to me in this article about songs which were ahead of their time using "Je N'Attends Plus Personne" as one of their examples. I had let it go at that until yesterday when a Facebook friend posted the addictive "Oh Oh Cheri". I searched YouTube for some more of her songs that I might like and found the one put up for this post. I'm up to three now. I guess that makes me a fan...fifty years too late.

MEMORIAL DAY...

      Memorial Day needs a reboot in my opinion. It wouldn't be the first time. Memorial Day used to be called "Decoration Day" and it was intended as an observance for those who had died fighting in the Civil War before the holiday became a generic observance of all those who had died while fighting in any war the United States had participated in. Later on, it evolved further still into an observance for all those who had died though as far as I can tell, that has not become official. It is still very much associated with military service. But I don't want Memorial Day to be about the dead any longer.

      I've lost many people in my life: they're not dead, they've just...moved on and while I am okay with some from that number, there are several still whom I miss and wish for reconciliation, rapprochement, that we might somehow run into each other after all these years, that maybe I could find out if you are doing alright, or simply a public moment to mourn their passing not from this life, but from mine and coming to terms with it. I'm absolutely sure you can think of such people from your life and with the advent of the internet, one might think it possible to have a kind of people bulletin board. A version of the "Have You Seen Me?" milk cartons: I MISS YOU...DO YOU MISS ME? or perhaps something that incorporates "memory" or "memorial" into its title to make it more fitting for the holiday.

        I have neither the clout nor the wherewithal to promote such an idea but should you find yourself in need of such a holiday, by all means...pass it on. Share it so that it may grow upon others. I will share my memorials here and there when the day comes.



"Keep Me in Mind" by Little Joy


"Your Wildest Dreams" by The Moody Blues


"Calling All Stations" by Genesis

WHERE'S MISS MANNERS WHEN YOU NEED HER?

      Having been on the other side of the equation myself, I find that I feel uneasy going about my business as a funeral procession passes by. I feel like I should be doing something, anything that would indicate to those who happen to see me as they pass by a gesture of respect.

      Having been on the other side of it, especially with a close one like my father, I could not help but notice on the way to the cemetery all the people going about their lives, laughing and smiling and whatnot, totally unaware or unconcerned with our procession. It's not their fault, I understand this. They did not know him anymore than I knew the dead stranger and his/her surviving relatives as they slowly passed on by, but when you're on that side, you can't help but feel a twinge of anger like "how dare they be happy on a day like this!" as you pass by. It makes me wish there were a universally recognized stance and/or gesture which could be made as a show of respect as a procession passes by.

      This may not sound like much of a big deal to most but I happen to live near two funeral homes so this is something I actually encounter more than anomalously. We don't wear hats anymore so that traditional gesture of removing your hat, placing it over your chest, and looking down sorrowfully is out. Without the hat, it would look like I were gawking at their procession out of morbid curiosity rather than what I had intended.

       Just something I wonder about from time to time...

SONGS THAT CAN JUST GO AWAY, part X

"Fight for You" by Jason Derulo

Look, I know Toto is getting a piece of this song, but seriously, how the hell is this not plagiarism? What do they call this musical style where you're outright stealing the hook from another song and recomposing them as if they were your words all along? Is this the next phase of sampling? Listen to the song if you haven't heard it. You won't have to for long before it hits and you realize the sheer wrongness of it all. Jason Derulo has done this at least one other time with "Don't Wanna Go Home" in which he "samples" the lyrics of "Banana Boat" by Harry Belafonte. For the sake of argument, I will refer to this style as "splicing".

I wouldn't call it stealing but would still be leery of it if the title of this composition at least mentioned the spliced song like: "Fight for You (feat. lyrics from "Africa")" by Jason Derulo since "featuring" seems to be the current in-thing to do with music these days too because apparently no one is capable of holding their own anymore without the assistance of an established artist. And while this style is not brandy new, I find it sends a bad message especially from let's say, a school's point of view where in English class you are taught to not only name your sources but also to not plagiarize the work of others. Both rules are violated here. I posted the official video link for the Jason Derulo song and nowhere is it mentioned that lyrics from Toto's "Africa" have been spliced into it (nor for the other three examples linked). What kind of message does that send to schoolchildren who are told plagiarism is wrong only to have it done in popular music? Songs get covered all the time for better or for worse, but these songs aren't covers. These songs basically say that you can use the art of another and pass it off as your own. Even though the original artists are getting paid, it is still a theft of sorts. I even consider cover songs to be a form of theft simply because the titles don't reflect the original performers. "'Roll Over Beethoven' by Chuck Berry as performed by The Beatles" would be an appropriate way to present the song but instead it's displayed dishonestly and I call it dishonest because how many times in your life have you been surprised to learn a song you liked was actually a cover song (though this one is even more surprising I think)? You may or may not have liked the original upon hearing it, but for me at least, it felt like a betrayal by the artist I liked. It's also a cheat since the covers were originally hits and are thus more likely to get airplay rather than the artist achieving this on their own merits.

Simply put, splicing is dishonest and since it is clearly a thing and no longer subject to dismissal, it should be presented honestly so as not to create the impression that it is acceptable to assimilate the works of others into your own and then passing it off as one's own entirely. The flattery is certainly not sincere.

SONGS THAT CAN JUST GO AWAY, part IX

"What's So Bad About Feeling Good?" by Ben Lee

This song bugs me because of the phony crowd chanting that happens at around the 2.50 mark. Maybe in a live recording that might be okay, but in a studio recording? It sounds so ridiculously contrived. It's like scripted spontaneity or committee-approved fun...it's just wrong.

And it's not the only one. "Give You Hell" by All American Rejects is another example (about the 2.35 mark). I'm sure you can think of others...

I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part XXXII

"Sweet Pea" by Amos Lee

Does liking this song really need any justification? I think not. The only justification that may be in order is whether or not it actually belongs in this music category or if it should be a part of a new series I'm considering: "IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS SONG, I DON'T THINK I CAN TALK TO YOU ANYMORE" :-)