This girl I've been crushing on since July 2007 and haven't spoken to (or seen as she works the morning shift now) since she finally deleted me from MySpace (October 2008) was on AIM.
I sent her a sheepish, "Am I even allowed to talk to you?" with an embarrassed-looking emoticon and the response I got was, "Who is this?"
Ouch. :-/ A fitting punctuation?
And for those of you who know me, I actually tried with her. I got her phone number, we chatted a few times. We IM'd a few times. I asked her out. She said yes. And when the day came, she stood me up. Being the desperate forgiving douchebag that I am, I asked her out again about two months later. Again, she agreed and again, she stood me up.
I hate being smitten.
A few weeks back, Digby actually spoke to me for the first time in like nine months. Granted we only see each other rarely these days; but still, it came to me as a surprise...even more so because I had just finished pointing out to my coworkers how, even though I know it's a coincidence, I swear Digby seems to avoid me when we do cross paths -- clocking out early, finding something to do down a random aisle, going on a break at exactly that moment, etc. When she spoke to me, I have to admit it half-annoyed me because I was starting to find her apparent avoidance of me funny. It was like a game that I was starting to look forward to. =] I apologized for being a douchebag to her online (without referencing the origin of this behavior...namely, her standing me up) and she waved it off like it was nothing/alright. I really have to wonder if she even knew what I was talking about at this point as I highly doubt I was worth remembering to her. We even chit-chatted the following week when I told her that I was moving and she related a similar story to me. It felt like old times when I still yet had no clue just how disinterested in me she actually was. Anyways, MySpace keeps suggesting her as a friend. I thought I'd attempt to refriend her with a lighthearted "I promise I'll be good this time" message to accompanying. However, I found out yesterday that she had blocked me on MySpace (Facebook too? I haven't checked. Her birthday is soon...I'll likely message her a birthday greeting that day so I'll find out then)...ouch, and in the context of this entry...double ouch! I have to admit though, the main thing I'm interested in at this point on her MySpace page is if she systematically deleted all my photo and profile comments after deleting me. Maybe I'll find out, maybe I won't. I can't hold my breath though. She's very beautiful to me and always will be no matter what; but, fool me once...shame on you: fool me twice...shame on me: fool me thrice...you pathetic fool, am I right? I must actually take comfort in the sin of pride...who knew I actually had some? (May 26, 2009)
(originally posted to That Other Journal on January 14, 2009)
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