This lovely ditty is brought to you by her lazy ass not taking out garbage that was clearly full in both the kitchen and bathroom and not even considering taking out the cardboard box my non-Malm Ikea chair came in. I only carried it in and assembled it. I didn't feel like going out in the rain to throw it away...sue me. Considering the way my life has gone, where does this unbridled optimism come from in me? I don't get it. You'd think I'd be so thoroughly defeated by her (and life) by now, that I'd just know better than to hope, but nope...the dope got sprinkled with fairy dust again...*sigh* Her reasoning as to why she, in the three hours she was home (and I was sleeping getting back on to my night schedule), that she could not take out the cardboard box (at the very least) was that she was coming inside and not going back out so that it would be inconvenient for her. Well, duh, but that's not an excuse not to do it and lay on your bed with your laptop fucking around on Facebook. When I get in these moments, I inevitably make it worse by reminding her how she hasn't once taken the garbage out with her (when she's going out and it'd be "convenient" for her) when she leaves in the morning. If she wasn't too busy yelling at me to come up with an excuse, I'd venture that she'd be too much in a hurry in the morning to do it anyway. I also inquired as to why she didn't do the dishes (it's generally my job since I do the cooking...not that she's ever done the dishes on the rare occasion that she's cooked for us and for herself). I figure once in a while would be a gesture of appreciation that I cook for her daily and that she benefits from that fact. But I could never get that out because her argument tactic, yelling without taking a breath and not listening so that even if you do get a word in, it won't matter, took over. She stopped listening at you, do, and dishes. At this point, I'm leaving for work. I have my bag in one hand and a fistful of garbage bags in the other so I didn't take the cardboard (her reasoning being, that since I'm passing by the bin anyway, I may as well do it -- a fair reason I'll admit, but as this argument was about her lack of participation in the minor chores of this apartment, it didn't matter. And for those of you wondering, in her mind, this was all about a cardboard box and nothing else). Anyway, as I'm leaving (we're still both yelling at each other), she grabs the box and throws it down the stairs at me. That would've been it, but unfortunately, it was overcast so I had to return for my umbrella. She, of course, did not move the cardboard so I could barely open the door. I call to my Best Friend for assistance and I forgot exactly what she said, but it resulted in her going back up the stairs without the box so I, like a maniac, had to repeatedly smash the door into the box until I had enough space to squeeze through and get the umbrella.
My Best Friend wakes me at 7:30 (Alarm was set for 8) wondering when I would be making dinner. Already this day was starting off well... I get up, see the cardboard box still in the living room and the dishes from yesterday still in the sink. I would've done these in the afternoon like normal, but as I said before, I had to get back into my night schedule so I was sleeping late (I have to sleep a half a night's sleep Tuesday night and then do the other half Wednesday afternoon to do this. I'm not keeping my night schedule on my days off in case anyone needs to talk to me or wants to see me). Either way, I take out the shell steaks from the refrigerator and make some rice and corn and do the dishes while they're broiling. My Best Friend finds out I'm cooking a real dinner and that she didn't want to eat so much so late adding that she didn't want to lay in bed full thinking about how fat she's getting and would've made something for herself earlier had she known. How observant of her not to notice the rather large package of meat in the refrigerator and more importantly...WHY THE HELL DID SHE THEN WAKE ME UP IF SHE DIDN'T WANT TO EAT SO MUCH SO LATE?! HOLY SHHHIT! One steak was noticeably larger than the other. I was gonna take that one not only because of her earlier remark, but also because she has a history of not eating as much as I do for dinner. But no, she took the big steak. I gave her less corn than me for the same reason only to get a complaint about that too from Miss Inconsistent. I gave her less rice than me cuz I know she doesn't really like rice. It was a genuine miracle that last night of all nights she did not want more rice than she got. *angelic chorus* And yes, those dishes remain on the stove and in the sink for those who made last minute bets.
For those of you betting that the cardboard would still be at the door when I got back home, you lose. I know, I'm scared too. She actually cleared it away and put it in the appropriate dumpster outside. Did she actually have a ping of conscience? There's that optimism again.....fuck.
On the plus side (yes there is one), I actually found $15 at work tonight. The last time we fought, I found $10. I have to admit, I'm tempted to fight again tonight. :-p
(originally posted to That Other Journal on January 8, 2009)
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