Now I've been doing the online dating thing for over three months now. I have yet to secure a date but that is not the point of tonight's entry. No, what I've been wondering about is something I've noticed fairly early on but dismissed as an anomaly but now, after three months find it inescapable: where are all the introverts?
And by "introverts", I'm also including those people who simply don't like going out under the assumption that that is an introverted tendency even if they have no social anxiety. I simply have not found them. They are either a truly rare breed or they are elsewhere...or maybe hiding behind lies on their profiles.
The vast majority of profiles I encounter are written by women who claim to either love travelling and going out and doing so or they profess their desire to do so the moment their financial circumstances permit. Occasionally I'll see a line or two about staying in to catch a movie but it's a one-liner amongst many a sentence devoted to dining out, bar/club hopping, trying new things/foods/cultures, activities both done and desired to be done, places travelled to and places where she desires to travel in the future, how their jobs take up much of their day and that they love it, working out at the gym 3-7 days a week, going for a jog/run, reading this and that novel (often obscure), going to live shows to watch indie music (surprisingly few girls admit to liking popular music as if that were some sort of badge of dishonor)...basically no time for down time because they are always doing something or interested in portraying themselves as the always-doing-something type. I don't even know where they'd find the time to date to begin with, especially all the ones who list such activities in addition to the fact that they are also a parent.
They're all go-getters. Many have post-graduate degrees or are otherwise over-educated. And they all like dogs. I don't know where this single lady with cats idea came from because the two sites I'm on are full of dog owners. I like cats! I don't want a fucking dog. I don't hate dogs but that doesn't mean I want to own one. Yes, cat owners exist, but it's not the 50/50 split you would expect. Though I have no evidence besides circumstantial, I really do suspect that cat-owners are more laid-back by nature seeing as how owning a cat is more a passive ownership as compared to a dog which needs to be walked multiple times daily and trained. And it may just be me, but I find dog owners tend to be intolerant. Not a truism, just an observation. It's much easier to find a dog owner who hates cats than to find a cat owner who hates dogs. I'm sure some psychological studies have been done on this.
But the thing is, I can understand why these types are on dating sites: they are too busy doing things to meet new people through normal channels or they're not home enough to be out and about around town. Their presence online makes sense to me. But that being said, where are the people who have trouble meeting new people because they're home whenever they can be? Because they'd rather watch television or read than share some drinks over a game at a bar? Because they don't envy the clubbing scene? Because they prefer doing (usually quiet) solitary activities at home? Or simply because they have few friends? They must exist and in great numbers so why aren't they a presence on the dating sites I'm on?
I would think the rise of online dating would be a boon to social misfits and eccentrics who would now have a means for advertising their availability to the wider world out there. Yet, I know I have stumbled upon a few, but not nearly as many I would think should exist. Am I really so rare? Have I been spoiled by friends who are largely hang-out-at-home types. Is my level of income related to my not-going-out-muchness? If so, do relatively poor people not use dating sites? Still, if laziness is supposedly endemic in society...where are they? Too lazy to create profiles? I guess I'll just have to try and lure them out myself...
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