APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED...

      I hate when people say, "...and I apologize if I have offended anyone with my/by my/because of/etc. (blah blah blah)." The most insincere of all apologies.
   
      This article offers a fairly recent example of this kind of false contrition. The owner of a ride featured in the Broward County Fair named his rollercoaster "The Zyklon". Anyone with even a quarter of an education should be wincing uncomfortably after having read that. And while yes, "Zyklon" means "cyclone" in German and the owner of this ride was most probably trying to associate himself with more famous rollercoasters operating under the "Cyclone" banner, a simple Google search would have put the word in historical context very quickly (though surprisingly, a Norwegian death metal band called Zyklon ranked higher in the search than the more infamous "Zyklon B"). When confronted with this fact, Mr. Zaitshik offered his version of the insincere apology, "There's actually no ill will intended to anyone of the Jewish faith, and I apologize if the name has offended anybody." (full article here)

      Now, I actually believe him: I really do. I've come across enough people wholly ignorant of things that one would think would be widely known. And while I still blame him for not doing a basic Google search beforehand, I in no way believe he was deliberately intending a Holocaust reference for his fair ride. But that's not the problem...it's the "if".

      You don't make apologies unless you've not only done something wrong and are penitent about it and you certainly don't use the word "if" when doing so. Clearly you've offended people. There's no longer any "if" about it. The use of "anybody" isn't helping either now that I think about it. It's a bit clumsy, but how about this? "I did not intend a Holocaust reference when naming my rollercoaster The Zyklon. I have been informed of and have since learned about the historical context of the word and will change the name of the ride immediately. I apologize to those whom I have offended with my ignorance."

       Even just changing the word "if" to "that" in his original apology would have made all the difference.

      That being said, I still feel genuinely bad for this company. This is a real commercial and it came out shortly before AIDS made its public debut. I wonder if they renamed or simply went out of business?