I was reading through the comment section of this Cracked article and stumbled upon this gem from Crusty_McNads:
I think the concept of time is more like being duct-taped to the back of an ambulance without brakes hurtling towards an orphanage at 200 mph with a shrieking monkey throwing dynamite at oncoming traffic as they try to dodge your wake of destruction. and the only thing playing on the radio of the ambulance is the sound of cash registers opening mixed with people screaming... the point is you have no idea when you'll finally smash into the orphanage, delivering an explosion large enough to vaporize anyone caught within 100 yards of the building due to your payload of unexploded dynamite that the deranged monkey has not yet managed to unload into the unexpecting populace, but you can see the trail of destruction which follows your journey towards death.
also the monkey smokes a cigar.
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