IDIOTIC TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS

       I just got back from doing my laundry. A couple of thoughts...

       I arrive to one of the two washers empty and the other, a (recently?) finished load. Both dryers have clothes in them (one set was moist and probably from the same person using the other washer and the other set was the same dry clothes that were in the dryer in the morning when I did the rest of my colors). Thankfully, I only needed the one washer but so began an anxious forty minutes. The whole time my load is going through its cycle, I kept wondering if and when the other launderer would show up and subsequently tie up the two dryers meaning my load would go from 1½ hours to over 2. It wouldn't be so bad if the person came back early in the cycle, it's when I'm down to less than five minutes that the anxiety really kicks in.

      I was actually trying to put a contingency plan in place in case I heard the door open. I had my quarters at the ready and was fully prepared to begin drying the unclaimed clothes in the dryer just so that I would that dryer free rather than sit through this person's dryer cycle before getting to my own. It's slightly maddening and the fact that I was doing my laundry at 4:30 in the morning does not affect this paranoia any as it cannot be ruled out that I am the only person who does his laundry at these ungodly hours.

      However, I got lucky. The launderer never returned while I was there so I got to complete my laundry in the expected time. Whew! However, I'll admit to another thought that tempts me...

      I never leave my laundry unattended. I bring a book or magazine with me and read while it's being done. I don't get the people who treat the tenants' laundry room as though it were theirs and theirs alone. Before we got our high-efficiency washers installed, some people would leave their clothes to soak overnight using a prop to keep the washer from finishing its cycle. I'll admit that I've been tempted to pour bleach into their load but never succumbed because my paranoia dictates that as I'm leaving the scene of my misdemeanor, the launderer will return and know it was me. The high-efficiency washers prevent that sort of abuse as the cycle cannot be stopped once it has started. Hurray for science! However, leaving clothes in the dryer (whether dried or not) is nothing new but here the temptation is different. I want a souvenir.

      There should be a price for leaving your clothes unattended. I have no desire to wear any of these things, I would just want something like a sock, a bra, or a pair of panties. They would be a toll paid by inattentive and selfish launderers. Fear of getting caught is minimal here. I think what keeps me from doing it is both having to answer questions from whomever figures out what I'm doing and the fact that I have yet to see even an attractive woman living in this complex. This considerably tempers any desire to perform a "panty raid". Nevertheless, I remain tempted because more times than not, there are leftover clothes whenever I go to do my wash...