I'm taken aback by the lavishness of engagement rings. At some level, I find giving such ornate rings at the beginning of a fully committed relationships to be ass-backward. I say this not as someone who is cheap but as someone who grew up being told of the various gifts one traditionally receives for various wedding anniversaries. (We all remember "paper" as the first anniversary. Diamonds finally arrive at the fiftieth)
The lesson I drew from this list was one of escalation. You start humbly and work your way up to ornateness. As your commitment grows, so does the value of your appreciation and gratitude. Shouldn't the same basic rule apply to the wedding ritual itself?
Here's what I mean:
The engagement is, at its heart, a promise to marry since ceremonies of this nature take time to prepare in terms of inviting guests, the setting, and the feast which will follow. At this point, the level of official commitment is nascent and the ring, I feel, should reflect this fact. For me, this would be a ring of silver. The Engagement Ring could be anything from a simple band to a hammered coin to something quite artistic-looking but it should be only silver with no set gemstones. There would even be symbolism in this. An engagement is meant to be temporary and last only so long as it takes to prepare the wedding proper. For anyone who owns or has owned silverware, they know it tarnishes in time. Yes, silver can be polished and dipped to restore its luster and such cleanings prior to a wedding could serve as reminders to hurry-the-fuck-up with the planning already.
The Wedding Ring should be a simple band of gold. Again, it could be a plain band or one with a design to it and like the Engagement Ring, unadorned with gemstones. However, unlike the Engagement Ring, the Wedding Ring would be upgradeable to reflect a commitment of years.
Milestone anniversaries would correspond with ring upgrades. The first one is important and after making it a year, the ring could be set with a single diamond. The fifth, tenth, twentieth, twenty-fifth, etc. anniversaries would correspond to additionally set diamonds. I guess the goal would be a diamond-encrusted ring reflecting a lifetime of commitment.
Yes, I know. I'm weird...
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
IDIOTIC TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS
I just got back from doing my laundry. A couple of thoughts...
I arrive to one of the two washers empty and the other, a (recently?) finished load. Both dryers have clothes in them (one set was moist and probably from the same person using the other washer and the other set was the same dry clothes that were in the dryer in the morning when I did the rest of my colors). Thankfully, I only needed the one washer but so began an anxious forty minutes. The whole time my load is going through its cycle, I kept wondering if and when the other launderer would show up and subsequently tie up the two dryers meaning my load would go from 1½ hours to over 2. It wouldn't be so bad if the person came back early in the cycle, it's when I'm down to less than five minutes that the anxiety really kicks in.
I was actually trying to put a contingency plan in place in case I heard the door open. I had my quarters at the ready and was fully prepared to begin drying the unclaimed clothes in the dryer just so that I would that dryer free rather than sit through this person's dryer cycle before getting to my own. It's slightly maddening and the fact that I was doing my laundry at 4:30 in the morning does not affect this paranoia any as it cannot be ruled out that I am the only person who does his laundry at these ungodly hours.
However, I got lucky. The launderer never returned while I was there so I got to complete my laundry in the expected time. Whew! However, I'll admit to another thought that tempts me...
I never leave my laundry unattended. I bring a book or magazine with me and read while it's being done. I don't get the people who treat the tenants' laundry room as though it were theirs and theirs alone. Before we got our high-efficiency washers installed, some people would leave their clothes to soak overnight using a prop to keep the washer from finishing its cycle. I'll admit that I've been tempted to pour bleach into their load but never succumbed because my paranoia dictates that as I'm leaving the scene of my misdemeanor, the launderer will return and know it was me. The high-efficiency washers prevent that sort of abuse as the cycle cannot be stopped once it has started. Hurray for science! However, leaving clothes in the dryer (whether dried or not) is nothing new but here the temptation is different. I want a souvenir.
There should be a price for leaving your clothes unattended. I have no desire to wear any of these things, I would just want something like a sock, a bra, or a pair of panties. They would be a toll paid by inattentive and selfish launderers. Fear of getting caught is minimal here. I think what keeps me from doing it is both having to answer questions from whomever figures out what I'm doing and the fact that I have yet to see even an attractive woman living in this complex. This considerably tempers any desire to perform a "panty raid". Nevertheless, I remain tempted because more times than not, there are leftover clothes whenever I go to do my wash...
I arrive to one of the two washers empty and the other, a (recently?) finished load. Both dryers have clothes in them (one set was moist and probably from the same person using the other washer and the other set was the same dry clothes that were in the dryer in the morning when I did the rest of my colors). Thankfully, I only needed the one washer but so began an anxious forty minutes. The whole time my load is going through its cycle, I kept wondering if and when the other launderer would show up and subsequently tie up the two dryers meaning my load would go from 1½ hours to over 2. It wouldn't be so bad if the person came back early in the cycle, it's when I'm down to less than five minutes that the anxiety really kicks in.
I was actually trying to put a contingency plan in place in case I heard the door open. I had my quarters at the ready and was fully prepared to begin drying the unclaimed clothes in the dryer just so that I would that dryer free rather than sit through this person's dryer cycle before getting to my own. It's slightly maddening and the fact that I was doing my laundry at 4:30 in the morning does not affect this paranoia any as it cannot be ruled out that I am the only person who does his laundry at these ungodly hours.
However, I got lucky. The launderer never returned while I was there so I got to complete my laundry in the expected time. Whew! However, I'll admit to another thought that tempts me...
I never leave my laundry unattended. I bring a book or magazine with me and read while it's being done. I don't get the people who treat the tenants' laundry room as though it were theirs and theirs alone. Before we got our high-efficiency washers installed, some people would leave their clothes to soak overnight using a prop to keep the washer from finishing its cycle. I'll admit that I've been tempted to pour bleach into their load but never succumbed because my paranoia dictates that as I'm leaving the scene of my misdemeanor, the launderer will return and know it was me. The high-efficiency washers prevent that sort of abuse as the cycle cannot be stopped once it has started. Hurray for science! However, leaving clothes in the dryer (whether dried or not) is nothing new but here the temptation is different. I want a souvenir.
There should be a price for leaving your clothes unattended. I have no desire to wear any of these things, I would just want something like a sock, a bra, or a pair of panties. They would be a toll paid by inattentive and selfish launderers. Fear of getting caught is minimal here. I think what keeps me from doing it is both having to answer questions from whomever figures out what I'm doing and the fact that I have yet to see even an attractive woman living in this complex. This considerably tempers any desire to perform a "panty raid". Nevertheless, I remain tempted because more times than not, there are leftover clothes whenever I go to do my wash...
Friday, November 26, 2010
I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part VII
"Born Under Punches" by Talking Heads
This song is the first one off Remain In Light. This album's well-known single is "Once in a Lifetime". However, the rest of it is a strange radio-unfriendly album that I quite frankly despised when I first got it. This was a time in my life before the internet and especially before YouTube so when I liked a few singles from a group, I would ask for whatever albums they had put out for Christmas. This album was initially a miss except for the aforementioned single. But eventually, it seeped into my mind. This was the first song to do so. I remember mowing the lawn for Mom that day and the chorus was stuck in my head. It was then I started realizing the beauty of this difficult album. There's still two songs that are a bit weak, but I definitely enjoy this album very much today. It's a great diversion from more poppy stuff.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
HOW IT IS I CONTINUE TO RATIONALIZE MY BEHAVIOR...
Before going to bed this morning the roommate tells me that he has a job interview later today and another one later in the week. I can only hope this pans out. The first one is a data-entry position, a typical job for him which will last for who knows how long but at least it's something that would get him out of this apartment and legitimately earning money for the first time since March. I have no idea how he came across this position. My faith in him has been reduced to the point where I cannot possibly believe this is the result of his efforts...maybe the agency he signed up with some months ago and has apparently put total faith in. He mentioned said agency as being responsible for the second interview he'll be going on later this week.
The plus side is that I have been tempted on numerous occasions to lay into him about not looking for work. I was having one of those fantasies mere minutes before he told me of this latest development. I'm glad I didn't. How foolish I would've looked (although probably not as foolish had I done so any time over the past seven months)!
Anyways, may this long nightmare of unemployment soon be over. I would both like the ability to watch TV at a time of my choosing, to be able to enjoy some solitude in this apartment on a regular basis, to be able to clean without him watching me and not feeling compelled to either do something himself or ask if he could be doing something, and to be able to sleep on the couch in the late Spring/Summer should it get really hot again next year. Knowing me, his continued employment will cause me to grow complacent and not want to move at the end of the lease...I will have to talk myself out of it (or at least do so quietly in the event that I am not able to afford an apartment on my own in this area).
The plus side is that I have been tempted on numerous occasions to lay into him about not looking for work. I was having one of those fantasies mere minutes before he told me of this latest development. I'm glad I didn't. How foolish I would've looked (although probably not as foolish had I done so any time over the past seven months)!
Anyways, may this long nightmare of unemployment soon be over. I would both like the ability to watch TV at a time of my choosing, to be able to enjoy some solitude in this apartment on a regular basis, to be able to clean without him watching me and not feeling compelled to either do something himself or ask if he could be doing something, and to be able to sleep on the couch in the late Spring/Summer should it get really hot again next year. Knowing me, his continued employment will cause me to grow complacent and not want to move at the end of the lease...I will have to talk myself out of it (or at least do so quietly in the event that I am not able to afford an apartment on my own in this area).
Saturday, November 20, 2010
I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part VI
"Jimmy Jimmy" by Ric Ocasek
This song is off Ric Ocasek's debut solo album Beatitude. The album was described as very radio unfriendly and while I agree with that assessment, I still really like the album. It's great to hear a little experimentation from artists you like (Think of Remain in Light by Talking Heads). This was the first song on the album. I guess it was considered a single seeing as how a video had been made for it. The story of a lowlife going nowhere with his life. It's like a musical version of what depression feels like. That incessant percussive beat; lyrics which sound like a brain beating up on itself. There's a definite sense of not only a lack of purpose in the song, but of despair. It's beautiful in its hopelessness. I don't know what Mr. Ocasek meant by it but that's what I take from it. The who and the what are rarely important to me. All that matters is the how and the why.
BEGINNER'S LUCK
The weather was permitting on Thursday morning so I gave it a go with my awkward binocular-camera setup to take a picture of Venus's waxing crescent. I don't know what magical combination of shutter speed and random focus managed to capture the planet, but I got it.
I edited the image in post to remove as much of rainbow glare as possible. My binoculars were designed for looking at birds in daylight, not observing stars at night let alone trying to angle a point-and-shoot digital camera just right through the eyepiece to snap a picture of a planet. The lenses were not exactly ground to exacting standards so the chromatic aberration is ridiculous. I got lucky that the atmosphere wasn't yet turbulent.
However, I got what I was trying to do. I tried again the next day in brighter lighting but I couldn't manage. The atmosphere was turbulent in the light of dawn and I couldn't get an image that was even a little bit focused. Beginner's luck. I've decided to quit while I'm ahead. I'll try again with the moon when it's at a better viewing angle since I can't muster much more than 30° pinning the binoculars in the window. It's a bigger and brighter target so I'm thinking it'll be easier than Venus.
It might be time for an SLR digital camera. I need control over the focus, the ability to add a telescopic lens, and one suitable for nighttime photography. The ability to remove the infrared filter would be a bonus too.
ADDENDUM: I made an attempt at photographing the moon this way. I'll call it a success. I wanna capture it now in a lesser phase to better show the craters and mountains. In this level of lighting, the rayed crater Tycho is clearly visible as are a couple of craters along the terminator.
I edited the image in post to remove as much of rainbow glare as possible. My binoculars were designed for looking at birds in daylight, not observing stars at night let alone trying to angle a point-and-shoot digital camera just right through the eyepiece to snap a picture of a planet. The lenses were not exactly ground to exacting standards so the chromatic aberration is ridiculous. I got lucky that the atmosphere wasn't yet turbulent.
a cropped version of the original image shows the rainbow effect of my shitty optics
However, I got what I was trying to do. I tried again the next day in brighter lighting but I couldn't manage. The atmosphere was turbulent in the light of dawn and I couldn't get an image that was even a little bit focused. Beginner's luck. I've decided to quit while I'm ahead. I'll try again with the moon when it's at a better viewing angle since I can't muster much more than 30° pinning the binoculars in the window. It's a bigger and brighter target so I'm thinking it'll be easier than Venus.
It might be time for an SLR digital camera. I need control over the focus, the ability to add a telescopic lens, and one suitable for nighttime photography. The ability to remove the infrared filter would be a bonus too.
ADDENDUM: I made an attempt at photographing the moon this way. I'll call it a success. I wanna capture it now in a lesser phase to better show the craters and mountains. In this level of lighting, the rayed crater Tycho is clearly visible as are a couple of craters along the terminator.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
THE WEATHER IS COCKBLOCKING ME...
Venus has recently emerged as the morning star again. It's at a high angle too making it easy to observe unlike its evening star descent. During those brief periods when Venus comes between us and the Sun, it becomes a thin crescent. The only other planet to do so is Mercury but that world is difficult to impossible to observe safely in the glare of the rising or setting sun. While not a particularly big deal, it is still neat to observe.
To observe a crescent-shaped Venus requires at minimum a pair of decent binoculars, a telephoto lens, or a telescope. The last being best but my telescope is currently in storage at my mother's due to lack of space here in my apartment. I admit I'm regretting this now. I do have a pair of binoculars so I can see the planet's phase, but the optics aren't that good so there's noticeable distortion on pinpoint sources like stars and planets. I also lack a tripod for them so it's hard to keep still to look at such things. [your heartbeat really becomes apparent at high magnifications!]. I'm forced to rig a minimally acceptable tripod by gently closing my binoculars in the window. The problem with this method is that it severely limits the viewing angles I can achieve. What I'm looking for has to be nearly horizontal or at about 45°. Combine this with a now narrow field of view brought about by magnification, the timing with which I attempt to take photographs with this method is severely limited.
On a larf, I checked to see if I could focus my camera on my binoculars and still get a clear picture. It works...sorta. The pictures I took of a nearby tree look fuzzy despite being clear to my eyes. However, I'm still eager to see if I can capture Venus in a crescent phase but my time is running out. The synodic period of that world is over 500 days. The crescent phase lasts all of a month for the evening and morning apparitions combined so time is of the essence. I'm finally home before sunrise for the first time in a week and of course it's cloudy. A week of absolute clarity when I arrive home too late to make a safe observation and today, a sky full of gray. I'm confident I'll have success photographing the moon this way, but I really want one of Venus before it moves into the more common gibbous phases which would be difficult to distinguish in the kinds of pictures my camera is capable of taking. With luck I will have success tomorrow but it's already getting close to too late for this attempt. My next one won't be until late 2012 or early 2013. Sigh...
To observe a crescent-shaped Venus requires at minimum a pair of decent binoculars, a telephoto lens, or a telescope. The last being best but my telescope is currently in storage at my mother's due to lack of space here in my apartment. I admit I'm regretting this now. I do have a pair of binoculars so I can see the planet's phase, but the optics aren't that good so there's noticeable distortion on pinpoint sources like stars and planets. I also lack a tripod for them so it's hard to keep still to look at such things. [your heartbeat really becomes apparent at high magnifications!]. I'm forced to rig a minimally acceptable tripod by gently closing my binoculars in the window. The problem with this method is that it severely limits the viewing angles I can achieve. What I'm looking for has to be nearly horizontal or at about 45°. Combine this with a now narrow field of view brought about by magnification, the timing with which I attempt to take photographs with this method is severely limited.
On a larf, I checked to see if I could focus my camera on my binoculars and still get a clear picture. It works...sorta. The pictures I took of a nearby tree look fuzzy despite being clear to my eyes. However, I'm still eager to see if I can capture Venus in a crescent phase but my time is running out. The synodic period of that world is over 500 days. The crescent phase lasts all of a month for the evening and morning apparitions combined so time is of the essence. I'm finally home before sunrise for the first time in a week and of course it's cloudy. A week of absolute clarity when I arrive home too late to make a safe observation and today, a sky full of gray. I'm confident I'll have success photographing the moon this way, but I really want one of Venus before it moves into the more common gibbous phases which would be difficult to distinguish in the kinds of pictures my camera is capable of taking. With luck I will have success tomorrow but it's already getting close to too late for this attempt. My next one won't be until late 2012 or early 2013. Sigh...
NOT COOL...
I've had this notation on my desk for over a month now. I was busy at the time and it slipped to the wayside. Back in October, the Mystic came to visit me at my apartment. My roommate was here as he is wont to be since he is still very dedicated to the idea that jobs come to you rather than the other way around. He has to be here 24/7 just in case the door knocks. It's a terrible burden, but damn it, he is just so certain that he will be the first in the history of the universe to have work find him. Witnessing someone's true calling is truly an awesome sight to behold. But I digress...
Shortly after the Mystic entered my room, she remarked upon photographs of my Best Friend pointing out how beautiful she is and sweetly she comes across to which my roommate commented that while he wouldn't argue her physical beauty, he couldn't stand her personally. The Mystic inquired and he explained further.
Uh, hello! What the fuck?!! I've told several people in my life that my Best Friend is my best friend. You don't have to like her, but you have to accept her. That's a general condition for knowing me. My best friend has been a part of my life for fifteen years...she won't be the one going anywhere if you force the issue...YOU will be.
That being said, I don't care that my roommate doesn't like her: that's his prerogative. However, I DO care when you disrespect me. My roommate should've kept his opinions to his fucking self. He can voice them to me, he can voice them to his friends; hell, he can voice them to both me and her simultaneously, but what you don't do is speak badly about her in front of me while I'm with my friends. That's terribly disrespectful. It's equally disrespectful for him to do so in front of me while in front of his other friends (which he has done).
It really pisses me off that he does this and yet, each time it happens, I am in a position where I cannot simply leap down his throat for it as it would make me disrespectful to my guests to fight in front of them regardless of the righteousness of the cause. And of course, by the time the situation is more appropriate to yell at him about it, the context is lost. It's lose-lose for me and my roommate is again left thinking he is a better person than he actually is.
But then, I have an additional problem when it comes to arguing with him. He's bigger and much stronger than me and while that seems like a stupid thing to mention, I will quote this excerpt from his own online blog:
How am I supposed to react to that? Seriously... I wanted to comment on his journal when he posted that he is a horrible person for saying this. He is, in effect, saying "agree with me or else". And while he would deny such a thing, how could I feel safe arguing with him not knowing at what point my words will be interpreted as condescension, dismissal, shutting him down, or blowing him off? The last time I expressed my actual opinion of him online, I later found out he spent almost an hour yelling at his best friend about it. [this would be about him stupidly posting online his "masseur" activities including not only incriminating details for him but effectively implicating me as well since we share a household. The post has since been deleted but I do remember telling him to look up the word "discreet" in the dictionary]. His argument to his friend was that I should've told him to his face these opinions and not online. Now, while yes, we do coincidentally live together, my argument is that he posted this entry online and as such, it feels only appropriate to comment on it there...online. Had he told me this stuff to my face, then yes, I would tell him to his face. To comment on a real life discussion online would be inappropriate...don'tcha think? I know when I post things online, I want people to comment on it ONLINE. It bugs me when I'm at work and someone mentions a post of mine. Validate my online posts online please, not in real life!
In the excerpt I quoted, my roommate was talking about why he doesn't want kids. I like how he would not want to rule over his children as a tyrant and having them live in fear of pushing his ill-defined buttons, but he apparently has no qualms about doing so with his friends and family. He's a real jackass. He seems to be living under this assumption that just because there are two different points of view, that either of them are equally valid. I'm not sorry to point out that that's not the case. Occasionally, not only is your opinion groundless, but you can also be flat wrong and at no point am I required to treat your side like it's even relevant. Oh shit! Here comes a punch to throat! My roommate is effectively saying he is a bully [all the while he decries bullying].
I needed a few months to cool off after living with my Best Friend. I wonder how long I'll need to cool off from my current roommate? Living together was his biggest mistake as it has only caused my liking and respect for him to decline precipitously. He'll never get it back and surprisingly, that makes me sad. Living with him has been a mistake for me as well, but not as big a one as he has made living with me... I hate believing that he has been an illusory friend; that he only remained in so lofty a position because I simply rarely saw him. I've seen my Best Friend a lot and while we have fought a lot, it doesn't affect my love for her as our friendship is incredibly strong and can tolerate our occasionally turbulent emotions. We are like willow trees...deceptively strong. People around us may see a fracturing relationship, but we are as strong, if not stronger, as we have ever been. My roommate is like some mighty oak, but one whose roots have spread out through muddy soil leaving him vulnerable to a single strong storm. Sigh...
Shortly after the Mystic entered my room, she remarked upon photographs of my Best Friend pointing out how beautiful she is and sweetly she comes across to which my roommate commented that while he wouldn't argue her physical beauty, he couldn't stand her personally. The Mystic inquired and he explained further.
Uh, hello! What the fuck?!! I've told several people in my life that my Best Friend is my best friend. You don't have to like her, but you have to accept her. That's a general condition for knowing me. My best friend has been a part of my life for fifteen years...she won't be the one going anywhere if you force the issue...YOU will be.
That being said, I don't care that my roommate doesn't like her: that's his prerogative. However, I DO care when you disrespect me. My roommate should've kept his opinions to his fucking self. He can voice them to me, he can voice them to his friends; hell, he can voice them to both me and her simultaneously, but what you don't do is speak badly about her in front of me while I'm with my friends. That's terribly disrespectful. It's equally disrespectful for him to do so in front of me while in front of his other friends (which he has done).
It really pisses me off that he does this and yet, each time it happens, I am in a position where I cannot simply leap down his throat for it as it would make me disrespectful to my guests to fight in front of them regardless of the righteousness of the cause. And of course, by the time the situation is more appropriate to yell at him about it, the context is lost. It's lose-lose for me and my roommate is again left thinking he is a better person than he actually is.
But then, I have an additional problem when it comes to arguing with him. He's bigger and much stronger than me and while that seems like a stupid thing to mention, I will quote this excerpt from his own online blog:
I've often stated that of all my buttons, the biggest, shiniest, jolliest, candy-like button is condescension. I have no problem with a healthy debate or people who strongly disagree with my point of view. It's your right. It takes all kinds. But you want me to punch a few teeth out of your smile? Dismiss my point of view. Talk down to me. Shut me down. Blow me off. If you have a head on your neck after that, consider yourself lottery-winning lucky. I will not be disrespected. It doesn't happen. Do I have issues? LOADS. Is that overreacting a bit? No. It's overreacting a lot. And I've made great strides in lengthening that fuse, but sorry, folks. I'm fully cooked. This hot button ain't going anywhere. So, keeping that in mind, if I were to have children, they would probably have a life expectancy of at best... thirteen.
The only other alternative would be for me to become a tyrant, to rule with fear, which would pretty much cancel out all those "not fucking up my kids" intentions. I'm not saying I wouldn't love my kids, but no amount of love can compensate for that kind of behavior. No amount of hugs and pats on the head and late night ice cream sundaes can make up for living under the unyielding terror of pissing me off, and never knowing what the trigger might be. I would wish that on no child. Ever.
How am I supposed to react to that? Seriously... I wanted to comment on his journal when he posted that he is a horrible person for saying this. He is, in effect, saying "agree with me or else". And while he would deny such a thing, how could I feel safe arguing with him not knowing at what point my words will be interpreted as condescension, dismissal, shutting him down, or blowing him off? The last time I expressed my actual opinion of him online, I later found out he spent almost an hour yelling at his best friend about it. [this would be about him stupidly posting online his "masseur" activities including not only incriminating details for him but effectively implicating me as well since we share a household. The post has since been deleted but I do remember telling him to look up the word "discreet" in the dictionary]. His argument to his friend was that I should've told him to his face these opinions and not online. Now, while yes, we do coincidentally live together, my argument is that he posted this entry online and as such, it feels only appropriate to comment on it there...online. Had he told me this stuff to my face, then yes, I would tell him to his face. To comment on a real life discussion online would be inappropriate...don'tcha think? I know when I post things online, I want people to comment on it ONLINE. It bugs me when I'm at work and someone mentions a post of mine. Validate my online posts online please, not in real life!
In the excerpt I quoted, my roommate was talking about why he doesn't want kids. I like how he would not want to rule over his children as a tyrant and having them live in fear of pushing his ill-defined buttons, but he apparently has no qualms about doing so with his friends and family. He's a real jackass. He seems to be living under this assumption that just because there are two different points of view, that either of them are equally valid. I'm not sorry to point out that that's not the case. Occasionally, not only is your opinion groundless, but you can also be flat wrong and at no point am I required to treat your side like it's even relevant. Oh shit! Here comes a punch to throat! My roommate is effectively saying he is a bully [all the while he decries bullying].
I needed a few months to cool off after living with my Best Friend. I wonder how long I'll need to cool off from my current roommate? Living together was his biggest mistake as it has only caused my liking and respect for him to decline precipitously. He'll never get it back and surprisingly, that makes me sad. Living with him has been a mistake for me as well, but not as big a one as he has made living with me... I hate believing that he has been an illusory friend; that he only remained in so lofty a position because I simply rarely saw him. I've seen my Best Friend a lot and while we have fought a lot, it doesn't affect my love for her as our friendship is incredibly strong and can tolerate our occasionally turbulent emotions. We are like willow trees...deceptively strong. People around us may see a fracturing relationship, but we are as strong, if not stronger, as we have ever been. My roommate is like some mighty oak, but one whose roots have spread out through muddy soil leaving him vulnerable to a single strong storm. Sigh...
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
OH WELL...
I noticed this morning that the Laundry Girl deleted me from her friends' list. She hadn't responded to my latest message for over a week but she was still there yesterday. I wonder what it was? Was she thinking like me that I wasn't sensing that this would work? Was it one of my many fun-filled often offensive posts? I'll never know. It doesn't matter. It only matters to me that the Mystic actually came through as my first friend to try to set me up.
The only foreseeable problem in all this is that it leaves the path clear for me to fail again with Digby. I've already been sending out feelers and talking to her more. This will end badly...again. The Laundry Girl arrived at the perfect time to distract me from this odyssey of doom and now she's gone before she could hold that attention.
My confidence is slowly restoring itself. It's overcoming its inertia which will only set it on a path destined to end in predictable misery. I'm an idiot and yet, I take comfort knowing what will happen. Bad news and good news are equally acceptable outcomes...so long as those outcomes are certain.
The only foreseeable problem in all this is that it leaves the path clear for me to fail again with Digby. I've already been sending out feelers and talking to her more. This will end badly...again. The Laundry Girl arrived at the perfect time to distract me from this odyssey of doom and now she's gone before she could hold that attention.
My confidence is slowly restoring itself. It's overcoming its inertia which will only set it on a path destined to end in predictable misery. I'm an idiot and yet, I take comfort knowing what will happen. Bad news and good news are equally acceptable outcomes...so long as those outcomes are certain.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
TD NORTH BANK CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES
I had an unpleasant experience at the bank the other day. TD North Bank (formerly Commerce Bank) has this coin counting machine called Penny Arcade using a cartoon mascot of the same name (who looks a bit disturbed in my opinion) which for both incarnations of this bank, offered to count up your loose change for free whether or not you're a customer. Not anymore they don't. I went in and found out that non-customers like me would now be assessed a 6% "counting fee" unless we opened an account with them. Seriously, what the fuck?!
I was always under the impression that we were doing banks a favor by bringing in change to them. That meant they didn't have to order so much for their customers meaning they're saving money when it comes to the expense of transporting those heavy, nearly valueless coins. (Remember, a quarter in the early 1960s was like $2 today and about $5 back in the 1920s. Now a quarter-dollar has the purchasing power a cent did back in the 1910s. Fuck you inflation.) I had to eat the fee the first time, but I will be opening a minimally sized account the next time I'm in.
Now you might be wondering why it is I bring my coins there instead of my bank (which also has a coin-counting machine, free for its customers). There's two reasons. First, when I buy half dollars at my bank to search through, I take out the beat-up ones and the bicentennial ones (as well as the ones I want to keep) and give the rest out as change to my customers at work. I figure since people don't normally see half-dollars, I both don't want to risk a higher rate of rejection (currently about 2%) by giving out a shitty-looking one (this may be a false assumption but slot machines really do do a number on the coins) nor do I wish to convey that these coins were a one-year-only issue as may be implied by the bicentennial issue if it were received by someone who had never seen the coin before. Yes, that's my weirdness but the point is that I don't want to bring the half dollars I find unusable back to the bank I bought them from. Since I am actively seeking certain dates, I feel I would be hampering my ability to do so if I simply brought them back to my bank (after all, I might just get those same coins back next month). Therefore, I've been taking advantage of TD North's free coin counter to use that bank as a dumping ground for those unwanted coins.
Second, the coin counter at my bank is slow taking a good twenty minutes to count out the over $150 in change I tend to bring in monthly. It also has trouble counting half dollars (sometimes the Penny Arcade was down when I'd come in): it can't quite get them into the proper slot for sorting. You hear them tumbling around and around until the machine finally jams up from their increasing weight. The Penny Arcade, however, practically swallows what I dump into it whole. It's fucking amazing how fast it counts!
So now, even though I don't want to, I'll be forced to open a checking account with them for the aforementioned reasons. What it ultimately means is that I will have to cash more checks at work now to pay for my coin purchases rather than recycling the dollars like I have been all these years. I figure I'll just write checks to my primary account as the total increases in the account I don't want. It's an extra step and I'm really annoyed that I have to go through with this now. I'll adjust to the new routine, but seriously, fuck you TD North!
I keep waiting for her eye to twitch
I was always under the impression that we were doing banks a favor by bringing in change to them. That meant they didn't have to order so much for their customers meaning they're saving money when it comes to the expense of transporting those heavy, nearly valueless coins. (Remember, a quarter in the early 1960s was like $2 today and about $5 back in the 1920s. Now a quarter-dollar has the purchasing power a cent did back in the 1910s. Fuck you inflation.) I had to eat the fee the first time, but I will be opening a minimally sized account the next time I'm in.
Now you might be wondering why it is I bring my coins there instead of my bank (which also has a coin-counting machine, free for its customers). There's two reasons. First, when I buy half dollars at my bank to search through, I take out the beat-up ones and the bicentennial ones (as well as the ones I want to keep) and give the rest out as change to my customers at work. I figure since people don't normally see half-dollars, I both don't want to risk a higher rate of rejection (currently about 2%) by giving out a shitty-looking one (this may be a false assumption but slot machines really do do a number on the coins) nor do I wish to convey that these coins were a one-year-only issue as may be implied by the bicentennial issue if it were received by someone who had never seen the coin before. Yes, that's my weirdness but the point is that I don't want to bring the half dollars I find unusable back to the bank I bought them from. Since I am actively seeking certain dates, I feel I would be hampering my ability to do so if I simply brought them back to my bank (after all, I might just get those same coins back next month). Therefore, I've been taking advantage of TD North's free coin counter to use that bank as a dumping ground for those unwanted coins.
Second, the coin counter at my bank is slow taking a good twenty minutes to count out the over $150 in change I tend to bring in monthly. It also has trouble counting half dollars (sometimes the Penny Arcade was down when I'd come in): it can't quite get them into the proper slot for sorting. You hear them tumbling around and around until the machine finally jams up from their increasing weight. The Penny Arcade, however, practically swallows what I dump into it whole. It's fucking amazing how fast it counts!
So now, even though I don't want to, I'll be forced to open a checking account with them for the aforementioned reasons. What it ultimately means is that I will have to cash more checks at work now to pay for my coin purchases rather than recycling the dollars like I have been all these years. I figure I'll just write checks to my primary account as the total increases in the account I don't want. It's an extra step and I'm really annoyed that I have to go through with this now. I'll adjust to the new routine, but seriously, fuck you TD North!
WALKING, RIBBONS, & CONCERTS DON'T DO SHIT
I have to admit that I'm getting pretty damn tired of hearing about wearing pink ribbons to show support for breast cancer, walk-for-the-cure for autism, and concerts for people with AIDS. What does any of that shit do except to make the participants feel better about themselves? How about we actually start demanding these things be cured instead. That would seem to be a tad more effective don'tcha think?
I never give to these causes. I have no idea where the money is going and the event just seems like so much mental masturbation. We are well past the point where it should be obvious to anyone that major pharmaceutical companies are not interested in finding the cures to ANY of these things: not cancer, not allergies, not autism, not this -ism or that -ism (sorry Mr. Lennon). It's long been known that there's no profit in the cure. The days of eliminating smallpox, measles, whooping cough, scarlet fever, and a whole host of other terrible diseases is over. Thank goodness for the different general mindset of previous generations otherwise we'd probably be applying cream to our skin to lessen the appearance of smallpox scars...if you survived the disease that is. Yes, I will admit that rinderpest was recently declared wiped off the planet. However, in this case, there was profit in the cure. Y'see, rinderpest was a cattle disease that has killed many of those animals over the years. Making the disease extinct means more cattle survive which in turn means more money.
I want these diseases cured and cured permanently. I take great pride in knowing that the human race successfully eradicated its scourge, smallpox back in the 1960s and 1970s. It's amazing we have the power to do that and it gives me hope. However, you'll notice the list of mankind's accomplishments have declined precipitously in terms of cures lately and I really do believe that at the heart of it all is money...or rather the LACK of money in finding the cure. Our mistake, I believe, is relying on large pharmaceutical companies to find these cures. It seems to me that would be the job of the federal government instead.
We seriously need a Department for the Cure of Deadly Diseases, Cancers, and Allergies...a well-funded one in fact. It should hire the best scientists and pay them better both in cash and benefits than what they would receive in the private sector and have them do nothing but find the cures to these scourges. Yes, this department would be in direct competition with BigPharma and that's the point. They have failed to perform their moral duty so now we must circumvent them. If anything, we owe it to ourselves.
It is very much in the interests of local, state, and federal government to cure problems that cost so so much to treat. I wouldn't worry about BigPharma though, there will always be something to treat with a pill or application to fund their enterprises and nature is ever resourceful, so new problems are always just around the corner. But for now, can we please stop it with the bullshit walks, symbols, and concerts and demand that students in this country get educated in biochemistry, biophysics, and other health-related sciences and help them in doing so by offering grants to be educated thusly in exchange for doing work for the as-of-now made up Dept. for the Cure of Deadly Diseases, Cancers, and Allergies for a certain number of years. It would seem like a worthy investment...
I never give to these causes. I have no idea where the money is going and the event just seems like so much mental masturbation. We are well past the point where it should be obvious to anyone that major pharmaceutical companies are not interested in finding the cures to ANY of these things: not cancer, not allergies, not autism, not this -ism or that -ism (sorry Mr. Lennon). It's long been known that there's no profit in the cure. The days of eliminating smallpox, measles, whooping cough, scarlet fever, and a whole host of other terrible diseases is over. Thank goodness for the different general mindset of previous generations otherwise we'd probably be applying cream to our skin to lessen the appearance of smallpox scars...if you survived the disease that is. Yes, I will admit that rinderpest was recently declared wiped off the planet. However, in this case, there was profit in the cure. Y'see, rinderpest was a cattle disease that has killed many of those animals over the years. Making the disease extinct means more cattle survive which in turn means more money.
I want these diseases cured and cured permanently. I take great pride in knowing that the human race successfully eradicated its scourge, smallpox back in the 1960s and 1970s. It's amazing we have the power to do that and it gives me hope. However, you'll notice the list of mankind's accomplishments have declined precipitously in terms of cures lately and I really do believe that at the heart of it all is money...or rather the LACK of money in finding the cure. Our mistake, I believe, is relying on large pharmaceutical companies to find these cures. It seems to me that would be the job of the federal government instead.
We seriously need a Department for the Cure of Deadly Diseases, Cancers, and Allergies...a well-funded one in fact. It should hire the best scientists and pay them better both in cash and benefits than what they would receive in the private sector and have them do nothing but find the cures to these scourges. Yes, this department would be in direct competition with BigPharma and that's the point. They have failed to perform their moral duty so now we must circumvent them. If anything, we owe it to ourselves.
It is very much in the interests of local, state, and federal government to cure problems that cost so so much to treat. I wouldn't worry about BigPharma though, there will always be something to treat with a pill or application to fund their enterprises and nature is ever resourceful, so new problems are always just around the corner. But for now, can we please stop it with the bullshit walks, symbols, and concerts and demand that students in this country get educated in biochemistry, biophysics, and other health-related sciences and help them in doing so by offering grants to be educated thusly in exchange for doing work for the as-of-now made up Dept. for the Cure of Deadly Diseases, Cancers, and Allergies for a certain number of years. It would seem like a worthy investment...
Saturday, November 6, 2010
I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part IV
"I Do, I Do, I Do" by ABBA. This seems to be a popular group to hate on; but seriously, they have some pretty good songs. The parts right before I do, I do, I do...I don't know what that's called in music (downshifting chords?) but I really love it whenever I hear that done in song.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
GOING TO THE BANK USED TO BE FUN...
Searching through rolls of half-dollars has been very disheartening lately...
I remember reading years ago (2003 to be precise) about people searching rolls of half dollars and finding older silver coins that have long since vanished from general circulation. I'll still find the occasional silver dime of the Roosevelt variety (1946-1964) and more rarely, a silver Washington quarter (1932-1964) but I had never thought to go a bank and ask for rolls of the coins to do the same thing.
I got started as both a goof and because I was curious. The people I work with would say that people don't like half-dollars but couldn't offer up any evidence of this since we don't generally give them out so I started bringing in the half dollars I didn't want and gave them out in change to general success. I get about the same rejection rate for half dollars as I do with any other coin/currency...about 2%. Sometimes the customer wants two quarters instead (often offering up a "reason" like I really need to hear one...I seriously don't give a fuck what your reason is) but then again, sometimes a customer wants two fives instead of the ten I gave them so should I conclude that customers don't want ten dollar bills either? No, so I don't take the rejection of half dollars as a referendum against the coin and because of this, I now had a venue through which I could dispose my unwanted coins.
Yes, I COULD HAVE returned the unwanted coins to the bank, but that defeats the purpose of what I'm doing. If I give them back, odds are high that I'll re-receive coins which I have already rejected. I need to go through new ones to find out if indeed there still are silver coins among them.
With all that set up, I started buying about $200 a month in half dollars. At first, I got nothing. Occasionally, a 40% silver Kennedy half (1965-1970); but nothing else. A few months in, I got a 1964 Kennedy (90% silver) but that seemed to be the best I could hope for. The tales of Franklin (1948-1963) and Walking Liberty (1916-1947) halves seemed to be an elusive fantasy. It took until October 2003 when I first hit paydirt. I got a Franklin Half and a Walking Liberty one. The next month, I even got a 1906-O Barber half dollar (1892-1915)! And thus it was like this most of the time until 2008: I would get between 1-3 silver halves per $200 with occasional 40% silver halves.
2005 was my best year when I got four solid rolls of silver halves including one with mixed silvers from 1937-1963...an original undisturbed 40+ year old roll...truly fucking awesome. But by mid-2008, the supplies dried up. I went over a year before getting four more this year...but that's been it, not even 40% halves. I've been finding the occasional impaired proof, but that's it. I can't help but feel like they're all gone now from my area. It sucks...and it's discouraging.
I know I should be happy that I'm even finding these coins at all, but it's still makes time pass slowly thinking that my next trip to the bank will be wasted too. It's also frustrating because I've managed to find over 50% of the total Franklin half series (35 date and mintmark combinations) only to have the hopes of completing the series from circulation stalled. I've even gotten a fair number of the Walking Liberty half "short set" (1941-1947)...that's stalled now too. Even the appearance of impaired proofs has stalled. This whole experience is wearing me down emotionally.
People ask me what I want for Christmas every year. I have so little space left for new things so I suggest they go to banks in their areas doing what I've been doing. You never know what might turn up! But they never do it for me. I would love to think one of their local community banks has a few solid rolls of silver halves just waiting to be taken off their hands for face value. Sigh...
ADDENDUM: This January 2011, I got seven Franklin halves in various rolls including one new date (1949-D). I'm hoping this will be the start of a good year for roll-searching.
I remember reading years ago (2003 to be precise) about people searching rolls of half dollars and finding older silver coins that have long since vanished from general circulation. I'll still find the occasional silver dime of the Roosevelt variety (1946-1964) and more rarely, a silver Washington quarter (1932-1964) but I had never thought to go a bank and ask for rolls of the coins to do the same thing.
I got started as both a goof and because I was curious. The people I work with would say that people don't like half-dollars but couldn't offer up any evidence of this since we don't generally give them out so I started bringing in the half dollars I didn't want and gave them out in change to general success. I get about the same rejection rate for half dollars as I do with any other coin/currency...about 2%. Sometimes the customer wants two quarters instead (often offering up a "reason" like I really need to hear one...I seriously don't give a fuck what your reason is) but then again, sometimes a customer wants two fives instead of the ten I gave them so should I conclude that customers don't want ten dollar bills either? No, so I don't take the rejection of half dollars as a referendum against the coin and because of this, I now had a venue through which I could dispose my unwanted coins.
Yes, I COULD HAVE returned the unwanted coins to the bank, but that defeats the purpose of what I'm doing. If I give them back, odds are high that I'll re-receive coins which I have already rejected. I need to go through new ones to find out if indeed there still are silver coins among them.
With all that set up, I started buying about $200 a month in half dollars. At first, I got nothing. Occasionally, a 40% silver Kennedy half (1965-1970); but nothing else. A few months in, I got a 1964 Kennedy (90% silver) but that seemed to be the best I could hope for. The tales of Franklin (1948-1963) and Walking Liberty (1916-1947) halves seemed to be an elusive fantasy. It took until October 2003 when I first hit paydirt. I got a Franklin Half and a Walking Liberty one. The next month, I even got a 1906-O Barber half dollar (1892-1915)! And thus it was like this most of the time until 2008: I would get between 1-3 silver halves per $200 with occasional 40% silver halves.
2005 was my best year when I got four solid rolls of silver halves including one with mixed silvers from 1937-1963...an original undisturbed 40+ year old roll...truly fucking awesome. But by mid-2008, the supplies dried up. I went over a year before getting four more this year...but that's been it, not even 40% halves. I've been finding the occasional impaired proof, but that's it. I can't help but feel like they're all gone now from my area. It sucks...and it's discouraging.
I know I should be happy that I'm even finding these coins at all, but it's still makes time pass slowly thinking that my next trip to the bank will be wasted too. It's also frustrating because I've managed to find over 50% of the total Franklin half series (35 date and mintmark combinations) only to have the hopes of completing the series from circulation stalled. I've even gotten a fair number of the Walking Liberty half "short set" (1941-1947)...that's stalled now too. Even the appearance of impaired proofs has stalled. This whole experience is wearing me down emotionally.
People ask me what I want for Christmas every year. I have so little space left for new things so I suggest they go to banks in their areas doing what I've been doing. You never know what might turn up! But they never do it for me. I would love to think one of their local community banks has a few solid rolls of silver halves just waiting to be taken off their hands for face value. Sigh...
ADDENDUM: This January 2011, I got seven Franklin halves in various rolls including one new date (1949-D). I'm hoping this will be the start of a good year for roll-searching.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
LINE OF THE DAY
I was reading through the comment section of this Cracked article and stumbled upon this gem from Crusty_McNads:
I think the concept of time is more like being duct-taped to the back of an ambulance without brakes hurtling towards an orphanage at 200 mph with a shrieking monkey throwing dynamite at oncoming traffic as they try to dodge your wake of destruction. and the only thing playing on the radio of the ambulance is the sound of cash registers opening mixed with people screaming... the point is you have no idea when you'll finally smash into the orphanage, delivering an explosion large enough to vaporize anyone caught within 100 yards of the building due to your payload of unexploded dynamite that the deranged monkey has not yet managed to unload into the unexpecting populace, but you can see the trail of destruction which follows your journey towards death.
also the monkey smokes a cigar.
I think the concept of time is more like being duct-taped to the back of an ambulance without brakes hurtling towards an orphanage at 200 mph with a shrieking monkey throwing dynamite at oncoming traffic as they try to dodge your wake of destruction. and the only thing playing on the radio of the ambulance is the sound of cash registers opening mixed with people screaming... the point is you have no idea when you'll finally smash into the orphanage, delivering an explosion large enough to vaporize anyone caught within 100 yards of the building due to your payload of unexploded dynamite that the deranged monkey has not yet managed to unload into the unexpecting populace, but you can see the trail of destruction which follows your journey towards death.
also the monkey smokes a cigar.
BIZARRE AND EDUCATIONAL...IT'S A TWO-FER!
I was linked to this by www.nerdist.com. It's quirky (quarky?) and surprisingly listenable. Learning something new by song...it's so grade school! :-)
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BASIC ETIQUETTE?
I have such cheap friends. My roommate turned thirty this past Saturday and for that, he naturally decided to make a celebration of it with his friends. He created the event and hosted it himself. That's important to note: This was not a surprise party or a party being held in his honor, this was an event that he had created and he was hosting.
I'll admit that I didn't even want to go and was still feeling that way right up until the last minute. Remember, I'm pissed that he isn't looking for work and that he does nothing around this apartment despite being here the whole day. Occasionally he'll do the dishes...but only just as I was about to do them. He did that once with the bathroom too. I set everything up to start and then and only then did he volunteer to do it (and do it poorly as he did not clean the floor - why else would I have taken out the floor cleaner? --- he didn't clean the wall tiles in the bathtub or the sink or the outside of the toilet bowl either...). I'm also not happy with his masseur business and the fact that he brought clients home without telling me for a time (he also brings guys home for anonymous sex too that he meets online...this I'm not happy with either. It's the same thing as his clients. Just because he's not getting paid [or paying them] doesn't change the fact that he's bringing a person home who has not been vetted). All these things played into me wanting to ditch him on his birthday last minute: It would be the only time I could effectively hurt him. But I talked myself out of it, got up early like I was supposed to, and went to the event all the while carrying a nagging suspicion.
The family-style restaurant we went to was loud. For some reason, acoustics are not factored in to these places. This is the third restaurant of three that I've been in that I can't hear anyone (even those sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME) when it's at capacity. These places should be designed like music studios with sound absorbing walls, but instead it's wood or stone or any hard flat surface that easily reflects sound. I guess they do it because they had a sense of décor in mind but while it might look beautiful, it creates a bad conversational atmosphere. Thankfully one of the roommate's friends (whom I've met before) is easy to talk to and we kept as good a conversation as we could given the atmosphere going throughout the time I was there. Our groups need a roundtable format, seriously. There were fifteen of us, but I was only in range of three. The only good thing about the night was my schadenfreude over the seeming fact that the girl I was seated next to seemed to be playing my usual role, the wallflower, that night. Who knew I could ever be anywhere but at the bottom of the social totem pole?
Dinner was lacking. There was salad and bread as appetizers but I'm not a salad guy. I eat few vegetables as is and salads inevitably have ones I won't eat and are covered in oils which I would prefer not be on my healthy foods. The main course was lasagna and two variants of chicken...all of which were meaty and salty. I desperately needed a vegetable chaser like corn or green beans but none was to be had so I ended up eating very little.
I still had to work that night so I had to leave before dessert arrived. Thankfully I wasn't the only one leaving so I was able to secure a ride to work (though I was still late...funny how the only times I have ever been late to work was when I got a ride there!). As I'm leaving, the roommate calls me over and asks me for forty dollars to cover my share of the meal. I gave him the money while restraining my inner unhappy surprise.
Really?! I had to pay? Understand, I'm not saying this because I am cheap and fuck you if you think I am. You don't host an event and expect the attendees to pay. That's just rude: It's a violation of basic etiquette. I'd like to say I've never heard of this before, but in 2008, I got the same thing from another friend in my college group.
She had her birthday and like my roommate created the event (posting the invitation online) and hosted it at a Korean chicken restaurant in Manhattan. I and my roommate (who mentally, I was still on good terms with) went out together to go see her. Forgetting for the moment that the acoustics in this place were particularly bad (I couldn't hear ANYBODY the whole night) and the $25 minimum order (what the fuck is that?), at the end of the night we were both expected to pay for ourselves and for her. That irked me then. This current event irks me now.
Who the hell does that? When I had my 30th birthday, my Mom hosted the event. Outside of immediate family, I invited six people (only two of whom showed...). Guess what? Mom paid for the whole thing and not because she's generous but because that's what you're SUPPOSED to do when you host an event. Even impromptu stuff, the host paid be it my Mom, Dad, me, my best friend's parents, my best friend's grandparents, my uncles, my aunts, etc. etc. etc. because that's what you do. So many of my and my brother's friends have gone to movies courtesy of my Dad and never had to pay (they got popcorn and soda too). It infuriates me. No one in my family is well-off: We're all decidedly working class...but that's what you do.
I rarely host events but I have and will continue to do so. I tend to keep such events small because I can't afford to do much. But it's a simple metric --- if I invite you out to a planned event, you're not paying. If you invite yourself along, you're paying; but not the other way around [e.g. if I were to mention that I was going out to see a movie and you wanted to come along, you're paying but if I invite you to come see a movie with me, you don't pay. Get it?]. It doesn't bother me to do so. I figure what goes around, comes around. If I invite you out, you will invite me out at some point.
Oh well, once bitten...twice shy. I should've known this would happen because seriously...how could he have afforded such a place on his Unemployment Insurance? There's no way he's sucked enough dicks for money to cover it otherwise... Either way, if he could not afford to host a dinner party, he should not have had one. Hosting one anyway and expecting your attendees to pay is just plain ignorant and selfish. I just can't go out to events hosted by my college friends anymore...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ADDENDUM: I should note that my roommate left me a note with thirty dollars writing on it that he felt bad that I ate so little (I think he thought this was so not because I was sated on what I had eaten but because I had to leave so soon into it and the dinner started later than planned). This in of itself does not negate the previous entry. I would NEVER have gotten thirty dollars back if we were not living together. I just would have had a $20 piece of lasagna and a $20 piece of chicken parmesean.
I'll admit that I didn't even want to go and was still feeling that way right up until the last minute. Remember, I'm pissed that he isn't looking for work and that he does nothing around this apartment despite being here the whole day. Occasionally he'll do the dishes...but only just as I was about to do them. He did that once with the bathroom too. I set everything up to start and then and only then did he volunteer to do it (and do it poorly as he did not clean the floor - why else would I have taken out the floor cleaner? --- he didn't clean the wall tiles in the bathtub or the sink or the outside of the toilet bowl either...). I'm also not happy with his masseur business and the fact that he brought clients home without telling me for a time (he also brings guys home for anonymous sex too that he meets online...this I'm not happy with either. It's the same thing as his clients. Just because he's not getting paid [or paying them] doesn't change the fact that he's bringing a person home who has not been vetted). All these things played into me wanting to ditch him on his birthday last minute: It would be the only time I could effectively hurt him. But I talked myself out of it, got up early like I was supposed to, and went to the event all the while carrying a nagging suspicion.
The family-style restaurant we went to was loud. For some reason, acoustics are not factored in to these places. This is the third restaurant of three that I've been in that I can't hear anyone (even those sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME) when it's at capacity. These places should be designed like music studios with sound absorbing walls, but instead it's wood or stone or any hard flat surface that easily reflects sound. I guess they do it because they had a sense of décor in mind but while it might look beautiful, it creates a bad conversational atmosphere. Thankfully one of the roommate's friends (whom I've met before) is easy to talk to and we kept as good a conversation as we could given the atmosphere going throughout the time I was there. Our groups need a roundtable format, seriously. There were fifteen of us, but I was only in range of three. The only good thing about the night was my schadenfreude over the seeming fact that the girl I was seated next to seemed to be playing my usual role, the wallflower, that night. Who knew I could ever be anywhere but at the bottom of the social totem pole?
Dinner was lacking. There was salad and bread as appetizers but I'm not a salad guy. I eat few vegetables as is and salads inevitably have ones I won't eat and are covered in oils which I would prefer not be on my healthy foods. The main course was lasagna and two variants of chicken...all of which were meaty and salty. I desperately needed a vegetable chaser like corn or green beans but none was to be had so I ended up eating very little.
I still had to work that night so I had to leave before dessert arrived. Thankfully I wasn't the only one leaving so I was able to secure a ride to work (though I was still late...funny how the only times I have ever been late to work was when I got a ride there!). As I'm leaving, the roommate calls me over and asks me for forty dollars to cover my share of the meal. I gave him the money while restraining my inner unhappy surprise.
Really?! I had to pay? Understand, I'm not saying this because I am cheap and fuck you if you think I am. You don't host an event and expect the attendees to pay. That's just rude: It's a violation of basic etiquette. I'd like to say I've never heard of this before, but in 2008, I got the same thing from another friend in my college group.
She had her birthday and like my roommate created the event (posting the invitation online) and hosted it at a Korean chicken restaurant in Manhattan. I and my roommate (who mentally, I was still on good terms with) went out together to go see her. Forgetting for the moment that the acoustics in this place were particularly bad (I couldn't hear ANYBODY the whole night) and the $25 minimum order (what the fuck is that?), at the end of the night we were both expected to pay for ourselves and for her. That irked me then. This current event irks me now.
Who the hell does that? When I had my 30th birthday, my Mom hosted the event. Outside of immediate family, I invited six people (only two of whom showed...). Guess what? Mom paid for the whole thing and not because she's generous but because that's what you're SUPPOSED to do when you host an event. Even impromptu stuff, the host paid be it my Mom, Dad, me, my best friend's parents, my best friend's grandparents, my uncles, my aunts, etc. etc. etc. because that's what you do. So many of my and my brother's friends have gone to movies courtesy of my Dad and never had to pay (they got popcorn and soda too). It infuriates me. No one in my family is well-off: We're all decidedly working class...but that's what you do.
I rarely host events but I have and will continue to do so. I tend to keep such events small because I can't afford to do much. But it's a simple metric --- if I invite you out to a planned event, you're not paying. If you invite yourself along, you're paying; but not the other way around [e.g. if I were to mention that I was going out to see a movie and you wanted to come along, you're paying but if I invite you to come see a movie with me, you don't pay. Get it?]. It doesn't bother me to do so. I figure what goes around, comes around. If I invite you out, you will invite me out at some point.
Oh well, once bitten...twice shy. I should've known this would happen because seriously...how could he have afforded such a place on his Unemployment Insurance? There's no way he's sucked enough dicks for money to cover it otherwise... Either way, if he could not afford to host a dinner party, he should not have had one. Hosting one anyway and expecting your attendees to pay is just plain ignorant and selfish. I just can't go out to events hosted by my college friends anymore...
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ADDENDUM: I should note that my roommate left me a note with thirty dollars writing on it that he felt bad that I ate so little (I think he thought this was so not because I was sated on what I had eaten but because I had to leave so soon into it and the dinner started later than planned). This in of itself does not negate the previous entry. I would NEVER have gotten thirty dollars back if we were not living together. I just would have had a $20 piece of lasagna and a $20 piece of chicken parmesean.