ODDS AND ENDS...

      One of the apartment complexes I have been calling finally called me back yesterday...in the middle of the afternoon...while I was sleeping...because it was a work night for me. Thanks for not calling either Monday or Tuesday. So, on less than three hours sleep, an appointment for a viewing was finally made at the complex that was offering a rent that, while it would be a tighter fit than I would like it to be, I could definitely afford. This would be $925/mo. folks.

       If I changed none of my spending habits, a rent at that rate would net me, on average, $50 a month profit. Not much at all, but still most definitely in the black. I based my affordability on last year, my first full year here at my current apartment. I shorted my income by not including my income tax refund nor did I include any money that I was owed by my roommate for half the cable and electric bill since I would be fully responsible for those amounts on my own. I also overestimated my expenses by keeping my "luxury" purchases in even though I normally expense those through my tax refund. The basic idea is that I would rather overestimate my expenses and underestimate my income than the other way around.

       Anyhow, as annoyed as I was that I had to do this on a worknight, I was excited that I may soon have a place to live in a few months. Unfortunately, as much as I would have liked to have gotten started on the credit check and whatnot, this place has a hard-on for cashier's checks for everything before your first normal rent. Cashier check for the credit check, another one for first month's rent, another one for the key fee, and another one still for the security deposit. So as aggravating as that is, of course I would put up with it because, well, I need a fucking place to live. They need not spare me inconveniences in my effort to secure a rental.

       However, I will not be living in this apartment complex and it's not because I can't pass a credit check but rather, because I cannot meet their minimum income threshold. I honestly don't know anyone who could and would still choose to live in such an apartment anyway. According to their agreement, I would have to make one month's rent in one week's pay. Here, I'll do the math for you: if you are grossing $925 a week, that means you are making $48,100 a year (or to put it another way, that's a full-time job at $23.25 an hour). I don't know anyone who both makes that amount and would still choose to board themselves in such mediocre apartments.

       Needless to say I was both shocked and distressed by this obscene amount. I would understand one's rent having to be 50% or less their monthly income, but 23% or less?! (remember there are four and a third weeks in a month, not simply four). That's the old-school definition of middle class (first paycheck goes to mortgage, second paycheck goes to bills, third goes to family expenses, and the fourth is for your future). And if you're that middle class, why not just get a fucking house? Because $50,000 a year just speaks apartment class to me (end sarcasm).

      After taxes, that's about $750 a week. My combined expenses at this place were projected to be approximately $1700 a month for everything I do. I'm sure I would uptick my standard of living a little bit at such an income level, but what would I need with an extra $1500 a month? Even if I got a car, I'd still have easily over a $1000 in the black per month. It seems an excessive income threshold to me.  It almost feels like old-school redlining.

      So now I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated that I can't live there because I don't meet some arbitrary threshold. It reminds me of when I tried getting a credit card at 27. I didn't accept the offers that came in when I was 18 because I didn't have a job and stupid me, thought it would be a bad idea to have access to credit that I might not be able to pay back. I start applying at 27 and kept getting rejected because I didn't "have a credit history". Again, stupid me for thinking that because I had never bounced a check and because I had been at the same job for five years and because I had a mid-five figure balance of cash savings steadily deposited over the years that I believed I had sufficient capital to warrant the bank taking a chance on me. Nope. Rejection after rejection (and then rejections because I was getting rejected too much!) until Dad cosigned me onto one of his cards. And then in no time at all, acceptance after acceptance. And the irony of it all is that I was at much greater risk of default when I was getting accepted than I was when I was getting rejected as I was still living at home at the time. It didn't matter. I argued with the banker's opinion of my creditworthiness pointing out that I was not asking for a $20,000 line of credit; that I would be happy with a "starter card" with a credit line of $100, but no. There was no reasoning with those people as there was no reasoning with this rental agent.

      It doesn't matter to her that I have sufficient collateral to cover my lease in the event of default. Nope, only my income matters. I would love for an audit of all current tenants to be done to see if they actually meet the income thresholds for their units. This is a whole new aspect of renting that I have not considered and it scares me. It scares me that if too many complexes are like this, I could potentially be homeless with a $28,000 a year job. Only in New Jersey... I can only hope that my complex, if it comes down to remaining here, is not nearly so picky. I would like to think they must not be considering my and my roommate's combined income at signing was about $900 a week gross (on what would be a $1295/mo. rent). But still, I would not be able to afford the $995/mo. asking price of a 1BR apartment without making some serious cuts to my budget. I was already strongly considering ridding myself of cable since I rarely watch anything but broadcast these days, but if this is to be, I'll have to consider simply cancelling television altogether and watching the shows I insist on seeing online instead. I could also ditch my cellphone and return to a landline via that "triple play" thing which would save me about $100 a month (for a year at least). This is tense...

      I left feeling seriously dejected. I've always believed that I'm a loser but seeing my life simply come down to a number like that was like having it proven to me. I would never have called this place if I could not afford to live there and even though the numbers work out in my favor, it doesn't matter. My efficient life is insufficient. I've done my best and have still failed. I actually wept a bit when I got home. I haven't cried since Dad died and that was over two years ago now. Congratulations ex-prospective apartment complex on achieving such a rare feat... I feel like I'm breaking...

      I'm despairing. I feel like I can't do anything right and that I'm incapable of ever getting what I set my mind on...ever. I don't know what to do...and these other places don't call me back. I'm gonna be forced into moving even farther from work than I am now. It's already getting tedious to walk two miles to work. The prospect of doing three (an hour commute) until my legs finally give out is not something I look forward to.

      I was so tired and later became so hungry at work. I was really craving fried chicken at the end of my shift. I didn't feel like cooking at all when I got home. We were sold out of fried chicken that I could just reheat so I had to cook anyway...and it wasn't fried chicken. I really wanted that taste but was denied it. And then I had blood in my stool for the first time in almost a year. Thanks body, even you're against me... I even set up a Yahoo! account to use for an attempt at online dating. How am I gonna do that now? I can afford to date now, but how can I do so when I may only be clearing $50 a month? I'm such a failure. It's never gotten easier. Every stage of my life has been harder and it takes more (increasingly ineffective) effort each time just to keep the balance. I'm a star fusing carbon into neon...

ADDENDUM: Oh, and to insult to the injury that was yesterday, the bookkeeper got an AG/FR 1905 Liberty nickel while counting out tills (that's a shitty looking nickel for those of you not in the know, but grade's not the point in cases like this). That would've been the oldest nickel I had ever found had I gotten the nickel roll that was nested in. Currently my oldest found nickel is a partially-dated 1923 Buffalo nickel. I have a couple of dateless Buffalo nickels which may be older, but I don't have the etching acid necessary to try to bring out the date.

I guess since I'm bragging (and to add a counterpoint to this depressing entry), my oldest finds are an 1895 Indian Head cent, a 1923 Buffalo nickel, a 1926-D Mercury dime, a dateless Type-II Standing Liberty quarter (1917-1924) - my oldest dated quarter is a 1939 Washington Quarter, a 1906-O Barber half dollar, and a 1971 Eisenhower dollar.