LINES WHICH CONTACT AN ARC OR CIRCLE AT ONLY ONE POINT...

      Sometime last week on the Opie and Anthony Show, Anthony was again referencing an old made-for-cable porn movie called "The Cheerleaders" he saw as a teenager. This movie usually comes up when talking about some creepy guy who got arrested for doing something or other. He would reference one scene where one of the girls, during a sleepover, happens upon the father in the living room. "Well, what do we have here?" was the line that Anthony would say while effecting a creepy, nervous-sounding voice before they end up having sex.

      I had heard this reference made plenty of times before but this time, I actually heard the title of the film so I looked it up so I could see the scene for myself. The film was actually a soft-core title made in 1973. There were attempts at humor but nothing particularly effective. A couple of scenes in the classic "Debbie Does Dallas" were actually funny. Nothing in this film.

      I didn't watch the whole film. I just did the other thing I particularly enjoy when watching a pornographic film or vignette: waiting for the moment it becomes porn. Because all porn films have that in common: the set-up. Most scenes don't begin mid-fuck, they have to get to that point. Some ease into it organically while others just drop the pretenses clumsily. When done organically, the resulting scene can actually be rather hot. Done clumsily, it can either ruin the vignette or simply be hilarious. Generally it causes ruin if the vignette in question has a set-up that you would actually want to happen in some way, shape, or form. I guess the ruination is the result of it deviating too far from your fantasy, but whatever. Pornographic films, unlike the vignettes, actually have normal set-ups which introduce us to the characters and plot. If the film can keep you interested, you can actually forget you're watching a porno until that first scene.

      And it was during these opening minutes where the film "The Cheerleaders" produced the most offensive imagery I think I have ever seen in a pornographic film:

      I mean, look at those prices! In 1973, I could get two hotdogs and side order of fries and still get change for my dollar. And those are inflated concession-stand prices. What the hell happened to our dollar? Sigh...

      Anyhow, it turns out Anthony remembers the scene described earlier better than it actually was making it kind of a let-down.

       The other strange, possibly sad, thing I learned on this adventure is that it was far easier for me to locate an obscure early 1970s soft-core porn title on the internet than it was for me to locate a dealer who specializes in foreign coins. There are some Italian issues that I have been interested in for quite a while. I finally stumbled on the right combination of search terms and after much link-jumping finally located a consortium of dealers in Europe who all collectively offer on a large website. While the sites offer English, I was still nonetheless thankful I had taken French and German in school. The sites also offered additional proof that despite the United States being one of the newer nations, our coins are the shit in terms of value. It's almost offensive that a cent made a mere 80 years ago (1931-S), despite being fairly available, sells for more than a British silver penny made in the 13th century (yeah, the penny used to be like the dollar today before it got debased into a bottom-rung coin). In fact, a denarius featuring none-other than THE Julius Caesar on it, while expensive (over a $1,000), sells for less than several key-date US coins (1909-S VDB 1¢; 1885 5¢; 1916-D 10¢; 1901-S 25¢; 1921-S 50¢; 1893-S $1). You can even get coins with fucking Napoléon on them for less than some semi-key coins. Napoléon!

      And this folks, is a taste of how my mind works. I started by talking about a soft-core porno and, through a series of tangents, ended up talking about the relative values of coins.