ANONYMOUS ADVICE

      While 4chan is rightfully described as a hive of wretched scum and villainy with a soft side for cats, that does not mean it is incapable of moments of perfect beauty. In the sea of chaff that is /b/, I came across this diamond.

--- LIFE HACKS ---

Never, ever hide your interest in a girl. That being said, don't make it obvious.

Be manly. Don't give attention when they ask for it. Be a challenge; be mean in a fun way; don't care too much; don't give them all your time; and don't give them all your attention. Don't focus all your energy on just one girl.

If they "Friend Zone" you, stop talking to them at once.

If they cheat on you, leave them at once and never think back on it.

If you joke around too much and they get butthurt, use "I can make it up to you, I give great massages" or hug her.

Never explain yourself. Apologize ONLY when needed. Never doubt yourself, EVER.

Believe in everything, every fucking thing you ever do. Visualize and plan what you want, do it. Don't doubt yourself, ever.

Confidence will get you everything you want. Confidence works with girls, dogs, interviews, even for getting friends. Fuck, you can even use it to get away from cops. Confidence is a virtue which you MUST have. It is a fucking need.

If you want to talk to a girl, go up to her and say "Hi." If you have doubts, destroy them.

"What if she laughs at me...?" Then don't dress like a faggot, don't talk like a faggot, and don't act like someone she'll laugh at. You have a brain, use it. Plan, think, believe in your plan; act on it.

Think of what to say, don't just ask everyone. Being lazy is easy; being lazy won't get you anywhere. Don't be the person who gets everything handed to him. Be the man that gets whatever he wants.

Stand the fuck up and get what you want. Women want men; not boys with emotions. Women want men that will change the world. The world wants men that will change it.

Never ask for permission: "Do you want to...?" Always assume that they do. Change the question into an order. If they can't or don't want to, they're still going to reject you in the same way. The only difference is you came across as more assertive.

"Do you want to do something this weekend?"

                               Change it to

"I'm free this weekend. Let's hang out and have fun."

Look them in the eye when they talk to you. Don't shift between eyes...pick one and stick to it. When the topic changes or when you start talking, it's okay to break contact for a few seconds, but maintain it when you're talking. If it's something sexual, don't you fucking dare break eye contact!

Smile every now and then ever so slyly. Don't know how to make a sexy smile? Pretend you're about to fuck the shit out of her.

Always stand with your feet shoulder-length apart; hands with thumb in the pocket and the rest of the fingers pointing towards your crotch. It's sexual and confident; better than hiding your hands in your pockets or just leaving them out there awkwardly.

When you walk, walk slowly and confidently. Look people in the eye as you walk. Don't you DARE look at the ground at any time ever.

When sitting down, lean back a little; be casual and spread your legs a little more than shoulder-length. Don't cross your arms unless you want to come across as uninviting.

Laugh loudly but don't laugh at everything. Make her work for your attention.

Don't spam them with texts. Don't call them unless if it's to meet up with her. If she calls, talk to her; but if you feel the conversation dying out, end it by saying you have something to do. Lie if you have to, but be smart about it.

If she does something awkward or weird, point it out and make fun of her for it. Don't overdo it and make sure it's at least a little funny. Women laugh easily.

No sudden head movements. Move slowly and confidently. Walk as if you own the place...always. Take up space.

Touch her. When you're walking, push her jokingly. Move her using your hand on her lower back. Open doors for her; guide her away from water or gross things that she might walk in to. Always be on the "dangerous" side of the road, be it cars or sketchy people. Make her feel safe and protected.

If it's cold, give her your jacket; don't ask if she wants it. If she's shivering or says, "I'm so cold," take it off and put it on her. Don't ask; don't say anything; do it.

If you think something she said is wrong, TELL HER. Women respect men with opinions. Don't agree with everything; actually talk and discuss with her.

If they talk about their ex, give them cold body language and/or quickly try to change the topic. If it's something sad, say this: "Hey now, we're having fun. Let's not share sob stories." Be prepared to quickly talk about something else. Always have at least five backup stories in case the conversation goes stale. Leave sob stories for later in the relationship.

Don't settle for women with low standards. If you're genuinely not interested, find someone else.

Don't do the whole "FUCK FATTIES AND WORK YOUR WAY UP". No. You only deserve the best. Hotter women are easier and usually bigger sluts. It's shocking but true.

I have plenty more if anyone is interested.

Oh I am. Too bad there weren't any more to be found... I seriously want to memorize this list. I have some disagreements with some points, but I don't think I can knock the assertiveness angle and how to stand/sit. It feels right. I must stop being so meek!