Another thought that has passed through my head lately about her also reminds me of my worthlessness. I don't have the presence, the popularity [even amongst my friends], the whatever...to cause the people who call me their friend to shun another person.
At work, I see them talking to my still-not-yet-dormant crush and being all friendly despite them knowing just how much she depresses me. You remember in school when people would get ostracized for whatever reason? The kind of shunning where your friends would stop talking to YOU if you dared to talk to the one being shunned. I wish I had that kind of influence over others.
I want to hate her, but I can't. I hate her but I remain so fully in love with her and it sucks because being in love with her brings only pain and longing and hating her brings only regret and longing. There's no victory. There's not even a partial victory because she suffers no consequences [at least from my work friends] for standing me up.
I have no power.
I have nothing...
I am nothing.....
2 comments:
i love you. you have great worth, especially to me.
Thank you. Such sentiments carry with me.
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