STEAL THIS IDEA, part V

     This one's kind of a throwback to children's cartoons of the '80s like Captain Planet. The purpose of this show would be to teach children how to use the internet properly, responsibly, and ethically.

     The overarching storyline I see is one where, let's say, a cargo ship from an advanced alien race breaks up in Earth's atmosphere depositing pieces of technology humans are not yet supposed to have all over the planet. Since this would not be a show about adults using this technology in horrible ways, I figure because, y'know...magic, the technology could have been (this could be done in the show's opening narration by the way) "protected" from misuse by adults until it could be collected by the alien detective sent out to find the missing pieces.
     Children, however, being unaffected by this "magic", stumble upon this technology, learn to use it and use it in ways which are hurtful to themselves and/or others until at the end of the show, the alien detective catches up to them and takes the technology from them (or perhaps convinces them to surrender it) but not before explaining why it was wrong they were using it in the way they had been.

     The technology the children find which would serve as the lesson of the week would be an exaggeration of current technology and/or problems with its use. For example, an episode could be done about hot-linking. In this case, the technology involved might force a person to be in more than one place at once against his will, diminishing him by forcing him to expend energy he might not have otherwise. Another example could be about citation of sources. The technology in such an episode could maybe give a student an edge in class but in fact, is actually plagiarizing. Perhaps, the technology steals the knowledge from others so the student can pass it along as his own and preventing the person who originally had it from remember they had in fact done it first. Depending on the age-level of the target audience, examples involving cyberstalking and cyberbullying could be employed as could anonymity and protecting one's identity online.
     The show could also feature a throwback feature with a vignette at the end of each episode showing a child how to properly use such real-life functions online. Using the previous examples, how to properly display a picture and how not to hotlink. Hopefully not done in too preachy (or stupid) a way.

     The alien detective should not be the main focus of these adventures. Merely showing him/her/it on the trail because each misuse of the technology would lead him closer to it. He could have an animal sidekick...probably with dog-like attributes, but I've never been a fan of such creatures. Whatever you do, please don't make the animal sidekick talk...please.

     Any questions? Leave them in the comments and I will happily elaborate.

DISCLAIMER: To anyone reading this, you are welcome to not only use, but claim this idea as your own without giving credit to me. I sometimes have ideas, but I do not have the skills needed to express them. It is more important to me to see these ideas done than to receive recognition for them. That being said, giving me a mention anyway would make me giddy. If this idea has in fact already been done, then I strongly suggest you not actually steal it (at least not without major revisions) :-)

ON ANY OTHER DAY YOU WOULD BE WRONG BUT TODAY...TODAY IS A VERRRY DIFFERENT DAY

     No matter what happens next, whether it be short or long in duration or even if only an anomaly, an old personal dæmon has been wounded, possibly mortally so. I've waited almost twenty-one years for this day and June 24th, 2012 was it. No matter what happens, the old narrative has been corrupted and can no longer be fallen upon in times of distress. It's been ruined.

     Yes, I got a date. She even called it one of her own, unpressured accord so I can't even hide behind technicalities. Yes, she's cute and attractive, touchy-feely, and even commands my finicky mind's attention and curiosity. We saw each other again yesterday and with luck, this will continue, but even if it does not...it won't matter. A line has been drawn and I cannot cross back. Awesome.

      Suck it, depression!

LET'S SEE HOW I DID, SHALL WE?

     Not too long ago, I made some rather bold predictions about the direction the new Avatar: The Legend of Korra show would go. Right off the bat, I had some wrongness because I was under the impression that this show would be like the previous one, three seasons long and with an overarching storyline. The show was actually just supposed to be a miniseries of 12 episodes. It's been renewed for a second season of 14 episodes, but I am guessing they will only be marginally connected story-wise (but not character-wise) to the season just ended.
     But anyways, let's see how well I did...

1. There is a fifth element in addition to the traditional four of Air, Water, Earth, and Fire and this element is, for the lack of an appropriate term, Qi [Chi]. This possibility came to light in the original series's finale when Aang removes the Fire Lord's ability to bend.

----- Wrong. Amon's removing of another bender's bending power was a specialized form of waterbending but how this was done was not explained. The traditional four elements remain thus.

2. Amon, the leader of the Equalists is a Qi Bender and knows this, but is content to manipulate everyone opposed to Benders in an effort to secure his position of power.
----- Wrongish. Though Amon was a bender...specifically a waterbender introduced in the penultimate episode which kinda bugged me as it felt like an Asspull rather than a constructed mystery with clues for us viewers to follow. However, I should get partial credit because Amon was content to have everyone believe he was a normal who had figured out how to "equalize" society. He lost his grip on his followers when his waterbending was revealed.



3. Qi Bending affects the other four Elements, but not the Qi Element.
----- Wrong, though partly correct if only sort of. Amon did take Korra's bending away, but only the elements she had been expressing. Once she lost her water, earth, and firebending abilities, she could suddenly airbend which enabled her to defeat Amon. This however, may be related to bloodbending - a highly specialized form of waterbending - which allows one to control another living being like a puppet. Perhaps bloodbending a person into forgetting how to bend their respective element is what Amon was actually doing and since Korra had never learned how to airbend before, that ability could not be taken away though if Amon were to touch her again, I'm guessing he would have totally removed her bending.

4. Korra will battle Amon, possibly in the first season finale, and lose her ability to bend for most of, or the entire second season. This will give her an invaluable opportunity to see life from the other side. The Equalists accuse the Benders of oppression of non-Benders. She will now be in a perfect spot to find out if this is true or not. I think she will find extensive evidence of Bender oppression that she will dedicate her life to correcting.
----- Mostly wrong. Korra did fight Amon in the season finale, but only lost part of her bending and since I was wrong about this being a multiple season story, none of what I said afterward actually matters. However, if the show were being exceptionally clever, they could still do this. See my next "prediction" for more.

5. Korra will regain her ability to bend the traditional Four Elements by either learning how to Qi Bend on her own (paralleling her current difficulties in mastering Air Bending), learning how to do it from Aang (somehow), or through an encounter with a reclusive lion-turtle.
----- Wrong...and right. She did regain her abilities from Aang (and all the previous avatars I presume) when she finally made a spiritual connection to them in her lowest moment. She used this knowledge ex machina to restore the bending of all those who had lost it to Amon. Now if the show takes an interesting twist next season, what we saw as viewers could actually be the second season finale and instead of Korra going mere moments from her darkest hour and needing to be alone to suddenly regaining her confidence, being regarded as a true Avatar, and wishing to give Mako another chance. Korra says, "Not now Tenzin (rest of lines)..." to a figure whose head is offscreen. He's dressed like Tenzin, her airbending instructor, but was actually Aang spiritually connecting with her and showing her how to restore her own bending and everyone else's by extension through, uh...magic, let's say. And off Korra goes to fix everything. But what if it really was Tenzin the first time, and Korra goes off only as an airbender on a quest to find her spirituality and/or undo Amon's blocks on her bending abilities? That could be interesting. And then, when she ostensibly fails, she goes back to that very place in defeat only to finally make the connection that we've already seen.

6. Korra, upon mastering Qi Bending, will thus become the world's first true Avatar as no Avatar previously, has ever shown true mastery of all Five Elements (except for perhaps Aang) most likely due to the reclusivity of lion-turtles.

----- Wrong. Though Korra is regarded as a fully-realized Avatar in the finale.

7. Korra will get around this detail by figuring out not only how to soulbend to take away one's bending ability, but also its opposite and learn how to restore bending in people or even give bending to nonbenders. Korra will repopulate the world of Air Nomads through soulbending.

----- Sort of. She did get to figure out how to restore the bending to those who had it taken from them but Korra is not shown turning, let's say, the Air Acolytes into actual airbenders nor do we know if such a thing might be possible in the first place. In this show, there are only four known airbenders plus the Avatar.

     The lesson here folks? Don't make predictions. Amirite?

STEAL THIS IDEA, part IV

     This idea is not entirely original, but nevertheless, I would like to see it done. Malcolm in the Middle did a version of this when Reese found out that Malcolm's sort-of nerd friend Cynthia had developed breasts over the Summer. Reese came up with this elaborate plan which would result in him touching her boobs. Malcolm attempted to thwart his brother, but Reese was always one step ahead of him until Malcolm, in a fit of frustration exclaimed in front of Reese and Cynthia, "What's her name? (starts at 17:04)". Malcolm finally exposed Reese for who he was and as usual for the show, it ended badly for both of them.

     Now what I was thinking was a movie-length version of this rough idea. A rom-com if you will where a man falls in love with a woman and through happenstance never learns her name. I think we've all been in this situation where we've forgotten a person's name and we end up relying on some stroke of good fortune to find out because asking is embarrassing. I remember one girl in college who followed me around but whom I wanted nothing to do with so I never asked her her name. This did not stop her from talking to me and for an entire year until one of my later friends ended up meeting her and I overheard the introduction, I had gotten by on "you". It's amazing how far the 2nd person pronoun can carry you.
     Since this movie would nominally be a comedy, I'm guessing standard absurd conventions may take place preventing the character from learning his lover's name. I admit in this modern age this idea would be difficult to pull off. The movie might have to be a period piece taking place in whatever pre-cellphone, pre-internet era is currently popular.

     The thing is, I don't want the fact that he never learns her name to be the focus of the movie or its jokes. I want his not knowing her name to be the twist and something that the viewer isn't picking up on. I want these characters going through a relationship and having it never occur to him that he's never used her name nor has he heard her use her own or a friend because, like I've said, "you" can carry one very far in conversation. Done well, what I would like to see is the man proposing to her and realizing in that moment, he has no idea what her name is. And remember, other characters can speak her name, just not in front of the man character, but like I've said, I don't want his ignorance to be convoluted.
     As for whether or not the movie ends happily or unhappily after that point, I haven't decided... I also admit the idea of such a relationship progressing to engagement in such a manner is extremely unrealistic so a compromise, that it's a whirlwind romance taking place over a few days might be better. It would also allow for a sad ending with the woman pointing out the fantasy of his love for her to him (don't quote me, but something like, "How can you love me as much as you claim if you never even bothered to get my name?").

     Okay, I'm done. Steal this idea!

DISCLAIMER: To anyone reading this, you are welcome to not only use, but claim this idea as your own without giving credit to me. I sometimes have ideas, but I do not have the skills needed to express them. It is more important to me to see these ideas done than to receive recognition for them. That being said, giving me a mention anyway would make me giddy. If this idea has in fact already been done, then I strongly suggest you not actually steal it (at least not without major revisions) :-)

LINE OF THE DAY, part XXVIII

     I am not a fan of zombie movies in the sense that I have not watched them, but from what I've read about them, especially on Cracked, I doubt I would the genre especially entertaining and would probably view it along the lines of the linked article. That being said, Huntert commented on Ian Fortey's Cracked article, "6 Things That Never Make Sense About Zombie Movies" thusly:

If you imagine the causative agent of the zombie pandemic as being a virus or some sort of parasitic infection, most of your issues can be resolved.

6. Why don't zombies ever finish their meal? Any organism or agent that invades a host does so for one reason, and one reason only: to propagate and to ensure the survival of its genetic lineage. There are many interesting real-world examples of how infective agents can use its host to not only to complete it's life cycle, but to facilitate its passage into other hosts (a great example is toxoplasmosis) In the case of the zombie, like most deadly diseases left untreated, infection leads to the eventual death of the host. At the moment of death, the agent hijacks what's left of host's nervous system, gaining control of basic motor functions and sensory perceptions and uses them to gain entry into other hosts. Thus, the host's sole purpose at this point is to pass on the infection. You can reason that one or two chunks of flesh is all that is needed to accomplish this task. There is no real "hunger" for flesh. It's only the need to pass on the infection.

5. Why are they chasing the most dangerous game? Many infectious organisms/agents tend to be species specific meaning that they will typically only infect one type of host. Plasmodium falciparum, the parasite that causes malaria, only infects humans; Neospora caninum only infects dogs. Much of this preference has to do with the resources needed to be drawn from the host. The human body probably offers the zombie agent vital nutrients that can't be supplied by other hosts, which might explain why other animals can't be infected (yet. mutations can change this).

4. How do they know anything? They don't. The host is dead. The agent is in complete control of the nervous system. It probably uses the host's sense of smell to pick up on chemical cues given off by living bodies in order to track them. And you're right. Since the host is dead, it's only a matter of time before decomposition gets the better of them, so all zombies have a shelf life.

3. Where does the food go? I would say that most zombies don't gorge on human flesh. One or two bites, and they move on. However, the few that do take bigger portions end up filling their stomachs faster, and as referenced in W[orld]W[ar]Z, since their digestive system don't function anymore, their stomachs would explode. Another theory: It's a well known fact that after death, a person evacuates their bowels. This is because they lose control of their sphincter muscles. So it's possible that everything a zombie eats will pass right through them.

2. Can you really cure that? There is no cure for death.

1. Then what? If zombies kill everyone, the infection would also be wiped out. Life will find a way to continue without the human species.

BECAUSE WHY LET A PERFECTLY GOOD LABEL GO TO WASTE?

     After watching the most recent episode of Avatar: The Legend of Korra, I had a thought. At one point, the former chief of police reminded Councilman Tenzin that protecting his family from Amon, who can take a bender's abilities away from them, was absolutely imperative since he and his children were the last of the Air Benders. I wondered why this was so. After all Aang, the previous Avatar, was born an Air Bender and carried that, uh...let's call it the airbending gene within him as several of his family have the airbending ability that, for a time, Aang was the last possessor of. Aang lived for like seventy years after the end of the events in the original series. He obviously had children, but why not a fuckload of children? And I'm not talking with just Katara.

     Now I know such a subject isn't appropriate to bring up openly in a children's show, but that doesn't mean it could not have happened nor does it mean that it could not be told to the audience subtly that Aang had LOTS of children in an effort to reestablish the airbending nomads who were killed off genocidally by the Fire Benders a hundred years prior to the events of the original series. One would think that no matter how much he may have loved Katara, this drive to restore the airbending population would be an imperative of his. Why didn't Aang impregnate as many women as possible in life in order to do this? Like I said, it could've been implied that this had been done and handwaved to the audience since this new show takes place so many years later. The suspicion could've been borne out by making sure there would be at least one Aang-ish looking person in the background people in large crowd scenes every week.

     Something like that would have amused me...

ADDENDUM:  Okay, now I really have to wonder why Aang didn't go all impregnating happy. I was looking at the TVtropes link, and a posted picture showed Aang and Katara's three children: Kya, a waterbender; Bumi, a non-bender; and Tenzin, an airbender. Now remember, Aang is the LAST natural born airbender on Avatar Earth. One would think, especially if it took three tries to get the world up to two airbenders, that Aang might have a personal interest in increasing the population of Air Nomads by fucking around...y'know, for the cause. I'm sure Katara would understand.
     And okay, I know they can't explain that openly in a kids' show, but it could still be implied. Tenzin got lucky and three, possibly all four, of his kids are airbenders meaning Tenzin has done more for the Air Nomads than Aang has. But still, there are only four (maybe five) of them on the ENTIRE PLANET.
     Now, since the job of the Avatar is to bring balance to the world, I am going to say (and add to my predictions for the show) Avatar: The Legend of Korra will get around this detail by figuring out not only how to soulbend to take away one's bending ability, but also its opposite and learn how to restore bending in people or even give bending to nonbenders. Korra will repopulate the world of Air Nomads through soulbending.

TRUST IN GOD, BUT TIE UP YOUR CAMEL...

TRIGGER WARNING:

Below the cut I will be critiquing a cartoon which contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors. The descriptions themselves will not be graphic but I thought I should include this warning as a courtesy.

LIFE BY DEFINITION CANNOT BE ALTRUISTIC...

     Does anyone really deny the assertion, "All men are created equal"? I don't. But then, by me saying that, it in no way should imply that I believe we remain equal. A simple look around should demonstrate that we have all long since diverged from our original equality either by accident of birth (sex, race, origin, wealth, etc.) or by effort (education, invention, influence, status, etc.) or by other means still and any combination thereof. So yes, while we were all created equal, it is clearly not a desirable state of being...

THOUGHTS I NORMALLY KEEP IN MY HEAD, part XIV

     I wonder how many people have died on account of me being alive? I'm talking Butterfly Effect here. Over my years I have been alive, I have consumed or otherwise used resources that might have otherwise been allocated and have taken up spaces which could have been alternatively occupied. Did someone end up in a worse school and never prospered because my family lived where they did, occupying what would have been "their" apartment? Has someone starved to death because I bought a package of carrots back in college? Sometimes when crossing a street, I've come close to being hit by a car through a combination of negligences. I've had that thought when the fault was clearly theirs (e.g. talking on a cellphone), that had I left home a mere fifteen seconds earlier, that I would be dead. Have I caused someone's death (or prevented one?) in a similar manner when, by virtue of me crossing a street, I've delayed the progress of a vehicle? Could one such vehicle have later been involved in a fatal accident that would have been avoided had I decided to not get Chinese food that afternoon I wonder? Have I ever borrowed a book from a library thus denying it to another who would have had an otherwise lucrative career in a field they didn't even know they loved and now never will because the moment had passed? This all flips about too. I could be the unwitting savior of lives as well...a person ignorantly responsible for bringing together lovers...a man who has unknowingly inspired a eureka! moment. Who knows. Such are the quantum realities of life I suppose :-)

ALLERGY BE(EN) GONE!

     I guess it does get better bit by bit by bit. I haven't had a sneezing fit in some time now. Additionally, my breathing has been less laborious and sleeping much easier. I've been falling asleep faster and can even switch sides without difficulty (beforehand, the stuffy side wouldn't "migrate" fully leaving both sides stuffy).

     Who knew simply forcing oneself to breathe through the nose was so key? I haven't breathed through my mouth (except when talking) for some time now nor have I had to resort to that "holding one's breath" trick. I've had only one sneezing fit since starting and for all I know, that one may have been a genuine allergy attack :-)

     So yeah, if you find you've become a mouth-breather, force yourself to breathe through your nose. Your body will fight you. Sleeping, or rather, trying to sleep will be difficult and laborious at first (early on, I was doing the "holding one's breath" trick sometimes up to three times in a row before a passageway would remain open of its own accord) but over time, it does clear away. Eventually your body learns and breathing through your nose goes from being something you need to be vigilant of to something more automatic. Too bad this isn't 1996 ^_^

FACEBOOK CUTTING ROOM FLOOR

     It's been a while since I've done a Rejected Facebook Statuses dump. So let's begin, shall we?

I HAVE LOOKED UPON THE FACE OF A VORLON...AND NOTHING IS THE SAME ANYMORE

This is about as close to a religious experience as I can get. Some of the deepest waters of my soul have been disturbed. It was amazing and I am taken immediately to this scene from Babylon 5...it's been running through my head all night since yesterday :-)


Scene from "The Fall of Night", Season 2 finale of Babylon 5 (1995)

Later, the witnesses talked about what they had all seen...

(Narn) "It was G'Lan.  I saw it with my own eyes.  He swooped down as was told in the old stories."
(Drazi) "No, not G'Lan.  Dro'Shalla, whose light fills the world."
(Narn) "Doesn't matter.  It was a good sign for the coming  year.  This place has been blessed."
(Drazi) "And you, what did you see?"
(Vachon) "The First One, the very manifestation of beauty and infatuation. A great weight has been taken off my soul for a time. [nods and smiles] It is indeed a good sign..."

Sixteen years have passed since I last saw her. This is the second time in my life I have had this feeling of emergence. I wish I had reason to believe; to hope that this could go as well as it did the first time just a few short years ago, but I mustn't be foolish. Still, there is renewal and it will last...for a time :-)