I saw this question the other day and since I was already depressed, it did nothing but reveal the dark nature of my heart and mind. The question went something like, "If you had the opportunity to have your present day mind put into a younger version of yourself, would you do it? If I told you that the price you had to pay for this miracle was that everyone you have ever loved would die, would you still take it?"
I would have to say that on any normal day, I would never do this. But the past few days have been very different days. I realized that yes, I would do this. I'm angry. I'm lonely. I'm frustrated with the way things have turned out. I'm tired of being a loser. I would totally do this provided that "this" is I get back, say, my 16 year old body. My current mind and memories would be in place. I guess it would be up to me to avoid revealing just how mature I would be for my age. I would be in school again and would likely be bored but I know I also wouldn't give a fuck and I think I would hoping that this attitude would be a game changer for me as I would also hope that the guilt of knowing what I had sacrificed to achieve this did not overcome me.
I am a horrible man. I admit it. That's how lonely I am. That's how much I hate myself. I hate myself so much that I would happily sacrifice EVERYONE I have ever loved just on the gamble that I might do better if given a second chance even though it would probably just all happen again...just shifted sixteen years into the future...
1 comment:
I'm not sure how to comment on this...because I don't know how it would affect ME! (You don't have to answer that, especially since I think I'd be safe since things were the other way around, and not to that extreme. Maybe this will make sense to you, and maybe not...but I understand your reasoning anyway!)
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