GOOD'S INFLUENCE OVER BAD...

      See, I still have a few negatively-themed entries in the pipeline. I write down starter thoughts (usually while depressed, sad, frustrated, or simply angry) on slips of paper at work and get around to them whenever on here. Some never see the light of day...the mood either passed or too much time had gone by for me to care anymore.

       One such negative entry will be written about. I don't see why it wouldn't. It's an interesting idea for me that I'd like to see written out. The thought starter is I am comparing myself to an endangered species...not to a particular species, but as a concept. There's another, slightly related to it thematically, where I was lamenting that I would only ever be worthy of a girl who is older and has realized she has exhausted her options and is now willing to settle for a schlub like me. That entry will probably never see the light of day given the recent loss of my catalyzer Digby. I can't see myself getting into a deep enough funk to want to hate on myself in another Inimandvs entry. I also have something tentatively titled "Fame Hypothesis" that I would have to explore. I made a notation after someone commented on Kim Kardashian's frequent appearances on magazine covers, wondering if it was now illegal for her not to be on at least one. The thought starter to be elaborated on was, "the amount of exposure required to keep your name in our collective memory is inversely proportional the stability of your fame." Neil Armstrong was listed as a genuinely famous counter-example to Kim Kardashian. I look forward to writing that entry. But not tonight...

      I actually went to New York City for the first time alone in my life yesterday to meet for the first time, my friend of several years, Bronx. The bus arrived very late so I immediately felt bad for her since I knew she was waiting. She also doesn't have a cellphone so it's not like I could text her that I was gonna be late. She later told me that she was wondering if she were being stood up but believed strongly that I would never do something like that to her (thank goodness!) so she continued to wait in the Port Authority Bus Terminal. When I finally did arrive, neither she nor I knew that I would not be arriving at a specific gate so we had no idea where we were gonna be. We did finally catch up to each other but not before passing each other several times. I noted her first, but my visual memory sucking the way it does, I didn't stop the girl I suspected to ask and instead went for the old stand-by, "Eh, she'll recognize me first." Turns out she did, but not after both me and her continuing to wander around the station a bit more. When she did recognize me, she came in for a hug, which I weakly gave both out of surprise (didn't know she would) and because I didn't want to come across as weird. A firm, first handshake might be good with men, but what does a firm (in this case, take "firm" to mean a full embrace rather than a "teepee hug"), first hug mean to a woman? Would that have been a good thing for me to have done? In retrospect, this initial meeting could have been coordinated better like me telling her what I was wearing (and vice-versa) or even the old cutesy stand-by of her carrying a sign with my name on it.

      But whatever, we joined up and left the station to walk to a mostly vegan vegetarian restaurant she likes to frequent. I don't know the area at all so I asked that she bring me somewhere. I was surprised to find that city blocks are not as large as I thought they were. We went easily 32 blocks to our destination, but it didn't take long at all. I guess New York City is big, but not that big. Anyways... I'm neither vegan nor vegetarian so I ordered conservatively avoiding any of the soy-meat options given my experiences with the stuff before (my store doesn't sell plain TVP, so if you don't counter-marinade it or boil those awful flavors out, it's almost inedible on its own, but in soup, like a spongy, tasteless chicken nugget). The waiter asked if I wanted any (faux) chicken, pork, or beef. I went with "chicken". The stir-fry lo mein that I ordered was generously sized and the side order of playing-it-safe french fries was very good. I saw on the menu an option for fried soy-chicken. I'll have to try that the next time I go there be it with Bronx, or even just on my own. I wonder what breaded and fried soy meat tastes like? It didn't help with eggplant, something my father used to fry, but maybe the frying oils make the soy meat taste good instead of merely tolerable. I think I noticed my soy chicken more because its flavor didn't seem to match the overall flavor of the lo mein noodle dish, but it wasn't awful like my store's brand. Bronx got a soy chicken mango marinade something or other and she enjoyed her meal too. She suggested we go dutch on the meal though I paid more than half because I left the tip.

       From there we wandered around a bit until we got to Washington Square Park and there we lounged for several hours people watching and occasionally chatting. Bronx was tired from several days of not sleeping well so we took it easy, snapped a few photographs of each other, but mostly just took in the local atmosphere from a shaded bench. A television series was being filmed called "Point of Interest" which in the words of one of the set photographers was sold to us beautifully as, "Just another crime drama." Ooh! Can't wait to tune into that! I wonder if we'll be out of focus in the background of any of the shots they had filmed that day? We each got something to drink from a vendor, but she wouldn't let me pay for her. It came out to five dollars total. I paid the man with a five dollar bill and Bronx gave me two dollars like it would be crazy to have let me pay for her. Perhaps it bothered me nominally, but considering my Best Friend would not have hesitated to have let me pay for her, it was also a welcome change of pace.

       The weather was beautiful. I chose yesterday specifically because it would be the coolest day we'd be getting all week and that it was. Warm sun, cool breezes, and plenty of shade (in the park at least). The park fountain was misting, creating a local rainbow, but snapping it was difficult because of the many children playing in the water. I didn't want to look like a creepy, potential pedophile so many beautiful shots were lost in my paranoia. But I was happy with the shot I took of us. For those of you who know where to see it, you get a good, genuine smile from me. I didn't regret our not speaking much and as I had told her, I was happy just to have the company to which she agreed. When we were talking, she's engaging and playful...endearing qualities but since my Best Friend asked, no, I didn't get the impression that she would want more from me than simple friendship. That's how I felt it, and that's okay, I'm cool with that though I'll admit I wouldn't mind otherwise in the slightest if not more so because she delights me. All the girls I've crushed on in the past have elicited a sense of wonder from me, and we all know how that has gone. I wonder if delight is a better starting point, or even a preferable one?

      But as the sun started to set, we took the subway back to the P.A. bus terminal (it was funny because we both were caught off-guard by the train's initial lurch. She accidentally jabbed me in my abdomen [and then several times on purpose while smiling] and commented that I have a hard belly whereas hers is soft. She guided my hand to her belly saying that. It was a cute moment.) and from there I went home, but not before Bronx walked me to the gate and we hugged goodbye. Again, it was not a firm hug, though this time I tried to do so. I notice stuff like that and add that to my understood list of reasons I believe Bronx is not looking for more from me than friendship. We agreed that we'd like to see each other again and I found ourselves both talking about future things together throughout our day. I felt comfortable around her and she, with me as well. I look forward to the next time. Hopefully, she'll be more alert and I'll actually have something we can do together.

      So, y'see. The negativity will have to wait. It's been coated in some goodness. I'll get back to it when it's worn off...