BEING FRUGAL AND BEING CHEAP ARE DIFFERENT THINGS...

     I was reading this article in the New York Times the other day regarding the unsexy word "frugal" in the world of online dating. It was suggested to mask the term with "bargain hunter". I could do another rant entirely on deception, but that's not the point of this piece.

      Somehow the word "frugal" has become synonymous with "cheap". I don't see how this is necessarily so. Not being a spendthrift is not the same as being cheap; but then, I'll admit my own interpretation of this word may be clouding the debate.

      While I don't believe in being wasteful with my money, that doesn't make me cheap and my basic defense of this point is that I am not particularly concerned with how I spend my discretionary cash. I figure as long as my income exceeds my outgo, I'm fine. If you can find a way to trim a cost without it being a bother, that's frugality. That's good know-how. If my monthly income minus expenses and contributions toward savings leaves me with an extra $200, then I have $200 to spend or not spend as I wish. I don't like eating out but I will not object to spending any of that available $200 should my friends wish to eat out one night. That's the point of discretionary cash.

      The people whom I think are "cheap" are the "bargain hunters." Articles on frugality inevitably bring up the coupon queens and other people who will only buy things if they are on sale and have a coupon for it to boot. How annoying are those people? Did you ever have the misfortune of knowing or dealing with one of them? Those ones who are never satisfied at a store looking for any defect on the product so they can haggle out another few bucks? The ones who pester the sales clerks about any additional "secret sales"? Those ones who not only have a backpack full of coupons but have them organized to an extent that makes you wary? The ones who mark their calendars for upcoming sales events and whatnot? The ones who can't part with a dollar for ANYTHING unless it's been marked down. That's what cheap is.

      Frugality is more like this. I like Product 19 cereal. I really do. But it comes in these small 12 oz. boxes that never ever go on sale so it's pricey (like $4.49 a box). I don't pay that much for cereal in my regular shopping but I will buy it with my discretionary cash when the mood strikes me. There's no way a bargain-hunter could do that...ever.