While I don't agree with everything he's saying, I feel where he is coming from...that anger.
My self-summary
I'm tired of American women, their quest for perfection and their appraising me as if I were some piece of meat, or a sperm donor with a fat wallet. I'm tired of woman in their mid- to late-thirties thinking they will find a guy their age or younger to have kids with them.
Tired of sifting through these lengthy profiles of unrealistic demands, clueless banter and photos of pets, women kissing their dog and spouting platitudes about how great their life is except for the missing "Special Someone." You all--unless you are a monster--have the ability to go out with multiple men through these sites, treat us as if we were job applicants and then never get back, or claim "lack of chemistry." You are too picky. . .which is why I noticed your profile on Whatever Personals five years ago; and your photo hasn’t changed.
I'm tired of logging on every day, making a sincere effort to relate to profiles and getting a terse response. . .or better, endless flirtation without ever accepting an offer to meet. Hello! I want to meet and maybe fuck, not read endless profiles of likes and dislikes. . .or even worse, lengthy lists of bands. Nothing is more pathetic than an aging hipster. Act your age! And don't write some drivel like, "I look much younger than I am and am comfortable with men five years younger than me." You are acting your age by writing something so stupid. If you are in your thirties and looking for a younger man, good luck. He will fuck you and leave you. A man in his early thirties or late twenties is comparison shopping, and you--most often--will come in second, or fifth if you are two or more years older than him. If you still look at younger men and see dad material, you are seeing that material bound for someone else. . .SOMEONE YOUNGER THAN YOU.
And, if you are in your mid-late thirties and reading this and you haven't already had a kid, you have, pretty much, already decided not to have one. If you expect me to have a child with you because "Your time is running out," you are mistaken. I would never consider having a kid without living with someone for a year or two. Until this "probationary period" has been served, I will pull out like Onan or, with your permission, fuck you in the ass. I will not use a condom; a condom is like shaking hands, or writing with a Bic rather than a Waterman. I'm not looking for cheap, easy sex; if I were, I'd go to Thailand. I want a relationship, but will settle for sex, cause I've been alone over a year; I am a man and tired of sleeping alone.
I have traveled all over the world. Pussy can cost as little as $10, or the price of a tee-shirt. If you think yours is anything special, think again. You may be able to control a guy for a while, but not long in the grand scheme of things. And, in the end, paying a whore in Asia or marrying a Thai farm girl costs a lot less than a marriage and--inevitable--divorce in the states. If you think the men in your life have never paid for sex, think again. Men pay constantly, and not only literally, but with psychological agony and productive time lost to nagging. At least I'm honest enough to pay up front after a year of celibacy while waiting to meet a lady by happenstance or through the personals who really is fun, cultured and reasonably non-psychotic.
I've never been married and have no kids. In other words, I have little "baggage." This doesn't mean that I'm incapable of intimacy, a long relationship or a good fuck, it just means that I will not be pushed into marriage and indentured servitude. I maintain strong ties with almost all my ex-girlfriends, so. . .I'm not looking for a woman who, "Doesn't want drama." What this says is that drama is all you've ever found. Water seeks it's own level, and you are damaged goods. What you really want is a lapdog or some guy in an ICU who won't disagree with you.
I'm not looking for cheap sex. But I am looking for someone who will fuck and not act like she is choosing fancy china to preserve on a mantel for the next twenty years. I'm looking for a personal escort who is cool enough that she stays and stops shopping for someone better, richer, more elegant and more submissive; all men know you are shopping, and your excuses are lame when you claim "lack of chemistry" or "bad match." You are a bad match because you are in your thirties or forties and on the personals. Just like I am a "bad match" for being in my forties and alone. I had my chances to marry; tough circumstances and/or my own obstinate foolishness stood in the way. At least I can admit that.
What I’m doing with my life
Wasting too much time on the personals trying to get some woman to make a sincere honest effort to see me as I am. Building this "inner-id site" to let you know how I--and a lot of other men--feel about your profiles and the whole rigmarole that we need to go through to even get you to e-mail back.
I’m really good at
I can fuck you in the ass without it hurting you more than you want it too. My cock is large, but I know how to do it. We won't even need lubrication. Vaginal sex is foreplay when you are ovulating. I'll be up past your sphincter so fast that you'll be pawing the sheets in desperation, trying to regain control, but relinquishing as you grab a bed post and hold on for dear life.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I might say what I think. . .and that I'm fed up with the way women behave on these sites. BTW: I'm really 46; and the photo above is of a famous heretic, not me (actually, it is me now). I'm not bad looking though. Actually, kinda hot. Not that it matters, I'm very well preserved and my cock still gets hard at the drop of a hat. If you are reading this and younger than me, keep in mind that I can probably out-drink you, and beat you in any athletic event other than swimming (and if I can't, I give kudos when it is due). I do indeed look "younger than I am," to steal a much over-used line that ladies spout; since I've never been married, don't have kids and only work a few months a year, I can still pick up women ten to twelve years younger than me in person. . .and that is without spending a lot of money. If you are over 35, I will consider marrying you if we really hit it off, but will be skeptical of having a child with you; from what I've heard, you'll pop one out and then cross your legs forever after.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Who cares? Is this really what a relationship is based on? Please, have some aesthetic taste and read, but don't list your favorites like it has anything to do with day to day life.
Oh, and don't be a Vegan. I like to eat. Food, not bird food.
The six things I could never do without
It's questions like this that make me rue being single. What an asinine question. Who in their right mind can answer this? There is enough hypothetical in life. We could all use someone tangible.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Collecting unemployment and any other funds to still live a cultured lifestyle without succumbing to materialism.
On a typical Friday night I am
"With you, cooking a romantic meal and opening a bottle of esoteric Cabernet." While I will do this if I like you, I find it sad that women fall for superficial men who use a line like this just to get laid.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't think woman are any good at oral sex. Oral sex is a kink that younger men like. However, there was usually one woman who really got them off, so they have to think about her during any future blow jobs, where--inevitably--too much teeth are used. There is a reason that "the bitch" in prison gets his teeth knocked out day one. Oh, and I ain't into you thrusting your sweaty crotch in my face either; it is a birth canal and orifice for a cock, not a tongue. Let's just call a "Non-Aggression Pact" since you will come from missionary sex, if you are able; I'm old enough to know that my performance has more to do with you than me.
I’m looking for
Girls who like guys
Ages 20-80
Near me
Who are single
For new friends
You should message me if
You are:
A reasonable, attractive, fit woman who can convince me to bother with an American woman at all; I've been in love before and would like to be again, but the women on these sites are tiring and turning me into a misogynist. If you are looking for an "ideal," remember that the word itself implies the unattainable. If you are looking for a "Soul Mate," go bury your head in more Oprah-like self-help books.
A woman who is realistic and able to hold a conversation without looking at her cell phone every three minutes.
You Should Message Me If:
If you are amenable and ok with the above.
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