(quoting from the article - bold added by commenter) He dropped out of school. He doesn't have any qualifications and it seemed like he wanted to stop me from getting a degree."
She first met Webber when they were at primary school.
"Throughout the whole relationship, he was a bit controlling and possessive really. If I didn't go to see him the moment I had some free time, he would start complaining
You have an internal compass. Use common sense. I didn't and it damn near cost me a childhood dream.
Ladies, if a man's educational/professional achievements are less than yours, simply make note of it and pay attention to how he responds to your ambition.
If he is ANYTHING but your biggest cheerleader when you want to pursue a higher goal dump his insecure fucking ass stat!
It doesn't start out with stalking. It will creep on you slowly. Don't make excuses for him. Good men want what's best for you, not what's convenient for them.
She first met Webber when they were at primary school.
"Throughout the whole relationship, he was a bit controlling and possessive really. If I didn't go to see him the moment I had some free time, he would start complaining
You have an internal compass. Use common sense. I didn't and it damn near cost me a childhood dream.
Ladies, if a man's educational/professional achievements are less than yours, simply make note of it and pay attention to how he responds to your ambition.
If he is ANYTHING but your biggest cheerleader when you want to pursue a higher goal dump his insecure fucking ass stat!
It doesn't start out with stalking. It will creep on you slowly. Don't make excuses for him. Good men want what's best for you, not what's convenient for them.
Later, the commenter added in response to other comments:
Women should never sacrifice significant earning
potential for another's needs*. Any guy that wants to slow you down,
wants to control you to the point of dependency. The easiest way to do
this is by minimizing your success of feeding yourself and providing
your own shelter. Any guy that wants to increase your dependence on him
is setting the stage for other methods of mistreatment.
[*I realize that there are many SAHMs ["stay at home mom" is my best guess]. Please don't take this as a putdown. This is about subtle, long-lasting coercion not a conscious decision. We all make what we think are the best choices. Either way, there are risks.]
[*I realize that there are many SAHMs ["stay at home mom" is my best guess]. Please don't take this as a putdown. This is about subtle, long-lasting coercion not a conscious decision. We all make what we think are the best choices. Either way, there are risks.]
I admit when reading this article, I was originally feeling another round of "what the fuck is so wrong with me that women will not date me?" coming on because here is another case of a woman dating an abusive man and here I am without a police record, with a steady (though not prestigious) job, no debt, blah blah blah. And then I read this comment and it got me thinking...am I that guy?
My professional achievements can only be generously described as "minimal" and my ambitions amount to living a quiet, fairly predictable life of leisure. One of the questions on OKcupid asked me if it was possible for someone to have too much ambition to which I answered "YES". One of the big things that attracts me to Bronx, for instance, is that she lives a simple life which she is content with. But am I that guy depicted in the comment? Am I an anchor meant to bring stability to the life of another or am I simply trying to weigh one down to keep them from getting away? If I seek only those who are not ambitious themselves, does that absolve me? If I am neutral toward another's ambitions, but not encouraging...is that the same as active discouragement? I don't feel so good right now...
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