PROBABLY THE DUMBEST OF MY CONCERNS...

      I went to my old apartment for the last time yesterday to remove the blinds my Mom had bought us and I wanted to make sure I harvested these black screws that anchored themselves beautifully into the shitty drywall comprising our window frames. Harvesting them, like I'm some sort of farmer in the early 19th century who would burn his house down before moving to recover the then expensive nails to build his next house with wherever he was going.

      I don't know where I got these screws from and I can't imagine why I would ever need them again in such numbers but damn it, I wanted them so I put them in a bag along with other things I was taking to my new home from that apartment and wouldn't you know it, that bag had a hole in it and all but one of those screws fell out at random points throughout my mile-long journey. It is both a testament to these screws and to my clearly deranged mind that I would even consider taking an out-of-my-way route home tonight from work just to see if I might stumble upon one or more of them in the predawn darkness.

       I must now cherish the two which remain and hope that I will never again need them for anything more than starter holes in drywall. My new blinds went up alright without them, but nearly every hole required that screw to get the ball rolling. I am a weird boy, yes, I admit that...