I found out last week that Digby put in her notice to quit so starting July 18th, she will no longer be almost daily refreshing in my mind. She, like all those who came before her, will now drift, being no longer tethered to my present experience, into the haze of the past.
I will always be in love with her somewhat. I can't see how I wouldn't be and she was a strong one too...perhaps the strongest of them all. Most of my crushes have "died" or are nearly so. Of The Eleven, four remain asleep (soon to be joined by Digby as a fifth) though for two of them, their pulses are exceedingly faint (only a lustful remnant remains), another, Patient Zero, would awaken if a real possibility could be had, and the remaining one, The First One, would awaken simply in her presence as though the past fifteen years away from her had never happened. Though that makes her dangerous, I feel such an awakened crush to be highly vulnerable to reality seeing as how she was idolized and idealized by me at the time rather than actually investigated for compatibility.
Digby will likely become like The First One but only time will tell. I am still a month away before it will begin to weaken and who knows how much longer after that until it falls asleep, remaining dormant for her return...even if it never happens.
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