Thursday, December 31, 2009

DAY 14 - A NONFICTIONAL BOOK

(NOTE: the link to the original image has 404'd and these entries were written before I got into the habit of captioning them so I don't know what book I chose anymore and the entry itself offered no clues, just that it "was a very interesting read". So although this entry was originally posted to That Other Journal on December 31, 2009, my choice will be from August 14, 2013)

The Big Bang Never Happened by Eric J. Lerner

I think it's safe to say that the claims made in this book are not supported by today's science or else we would be hearing more about this guy. However, in my impressionable college days, I found what he had to say interesting even if it's ultimately false.

I came across this book in my college's library. I don't remember what made me want to read it. It wasn't an article in a magazine nor was it the kind of book you could read in a day. Nevertheless I read it and was fascinated by it enough to buy it later and even read it more than once (something few books I've read can claim). I guess you could describe the feeling I got from this book as something akin to when college students first encounter things like libertarianism and other idealistic philosophies.

It's been a long time since I've last read the book. One of the claims that stuck with me was the idea that the universe isn't all matter but half matter and half antimatter with the two separated. What we call the Big Bang was in fact in a big bang. It was the coming together of matter and antimatter that produced the Cosmic Background Radiation but the energy of the annihilation would ultimately prevent all the matter in the universe from annihilating. The points of annihilation would provide a barrier that the remaining matter and antimatter could not cross. The visual example was that of a Leidenfrost layer. You see that when a drop of water is put on a very hot pan. The water which comes in contact with the pan immediately boils but the drop remains longer than it would otherwise because it floats on a layer of steam. The annihilations would become that layer of steam that kept the matter and antimatter apart long enough to separate as the energy of the annihilations would reverse their trajectories.
     Modern theory calls for CP-violation (charge parity) which allows for a very slight excess of matter to be created over that of antimatter. Something with the behavior of quarks. I guess in its own way CP-violation makes more sense because matter and antimatter are created in pairs very close together. The book would seem to imply that matter and antimatter could generate very far apart somehow. But at the time, I believed matter and antimatter could only be created in equal amounts so the idea that there could be one extra particle of matter for every million seemed ridiculous. Another reason this book spoke to me.

The book also calls for the universe to be eternal in age and gives a lot more weight to forces of electricity and magnetism in shaping the universe. It also discredits the existence of dark matter citing them as unnecessary or resulting from mismeasurement of galactic motions. He mentions that the dominant phase of matter in the universe is plasma which is atomic nuclei stripped of their electrons because they are too energetic to retain them. The Sun is comprised of plasma. Atoms are electrically neutral whereas plasma is not. Plasma has magnetic and electrical fields and Lerner describes a universe whose large-scale structure is dependent on the infinite fields of magnetism and electricity. Or something like that.

Regardless of the science which comes later in the book, I liked the history lesson in its early chapters. It described that how cultures viewed the universe depended on how well their societies were faring. Societies which were doing well and expanding tended to view an eternal universe whereas failing societies viewed a universe with a beginning and ultimately an end. He posited that the Big Bang is a popular theory because our society hasn't created anything new in a long time. He pointed out the last big creations were things like the internet, landing on the moon, and lasers...all of which were made in the 1960s. You might say cellphones, but cellphones are modern telephones and telephony has existed since the 1870s. Lerner said that since we're stagnant creatively we are imagining a universe which must end but should we break out of this and become ascendant again, we will imagine an eternal universe once more.

I guess I recommend the book if only for that. Yeah, I read it before the internet and Wikipedia so finding criticisms of it and disproving science is not difficult now but in 1998 the internet was still modem-based and limited so I remained a believer longer than perhaps I ought. So read it. Read it like you would read an opinion which contradicts your own in order to better inform your own opinion.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

DAY 13 - A FICTIONAL BOOK

:-P

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 30, 2009)

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

DAY 12 - WHATEVER TICKLES YOUR FANCY

Another one of these days, huh? Since the past few days have been photographs thematically, I will stick to that. Today will be a picture that makes me laugh:

Absurdity at its best :-)
(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 29, 2009)

Monday, December 28, 2009

DAY 11 - A PHOTO TAKEN OF YOU RECENTLY

(again, the photo will not be included --- it's of me doing putting on that serious look that gets captured when trying to figure something out with your camera and then accidentally taking a picture of yourself)

This was taken on December 20, 2009 right after our first major snowfall of the season. I was trying to set up the camera for a shot that later wouldn't come out right and this was the one I took before I remembered to set the timer. :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 28, 2009)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

DAY 10 - A PHOTO OF YOU TAKEN OVER TEN YEARS AGO

(I'm starting to wonder if I should have ported this meme over to Blogspot from That Other Journal now --- again the photo will not be included for reasons stated in prior entries. It was of me and my friends from college taken during a photo session in the Spring of 1999. Everyone is smiling and having fun in it except me. I really really want to believe I was putting on that look because the rest of the group was obviously going for silly. I was being used as a footrest by B5 Pusher so maybe, just maybe, I was going for that Flintstones animal rationalization "It's a living" look...probably not...sometimes I wonder why people even want me around)

An easy one today. Just barely qualifies too. Spring 1999 semester with all my friends at college.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 27, 2009)

Saturday, December 26, 2009

DAY 9 - A PHOTO YOU TOOK

(photo will not be included as it violates my personal Blogspot policy of not using real names and showing identifying pictures of people in my life --- the noticeable aspect of the otherwise uninteresting photo is that it was clearly taken from a child's height)

I decided to go with the earliest picture I could find that I took. This one is of my Mom and Brother by a Welsh Farms in 1986.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 26, 2009)

Friday, December 25, 2009

DAY 8 - A PHOTO THAT MAKES YOU ANGRY/SAD


The photo speaks for itself. What were you doing when you found out?

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 25, 2009)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

DAY 7 - A PHOTO THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

(in keeping with my Blogspot rules of not using real names and posting photos of myself or the people I'm talking about, this photo will not be included --- use your imagination instead...or if you know me in real life, contact me and I'll show you...it was described as "weirdorable" in one of the entry's original comments)

It's a picture is of me and my six year old cousin tugging on my ears. It makes me happy because she actually delights in having me around and is probably the first child I've been around who does so. It's one of those small things that goes into elevating my spirits by making me feel like less of a monster. When I go over to my Uncle's house, she comes over to play with me. I guess she's lucky that I really have nothing I'd rather be doing so she gets to monopolize my time while there. Fine practice should I ever actually end up with children of my own before I become too old to do so.

(originally posted  to That Other Journal on December 24, 2009)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

DAY 6 - WHATEVER TICKLES YOUR FANCY

I hate when the choice is mine. That's not my strongsuit... Not in the slightest. A blank page is incredibly difficult for me to create on. It's either an ability which has been lost or withered from disuse or simply suppressed through shame. But no matter what the reason, pulling things from the void is a frustrating experience. Throw in any limitation, any boundary, and it becomes that much easier to work with. Mine is a mind whose strength comes from bounded infinities, not unbounded ones. So, on a day like this (and the other days in this meme where I will choose something for my own to do), I will face difficulties. However, this one is overcomeable simply because I can enforce my own limitation: I will base today's entry on one of the previous ones.

Seeing as how it is almost Christmas, I will choose today my favorite Christmas song. And that is "Marshmallow World" as performed by Darlene Love off the album A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector; an album, which in my opinion, contains many of the definitive versions of the Christmas songs we are subjected to each and every year.


"Marshmallow World" as performed by Darlene Love

ADDENDUM: I take that back... I just found my new favorite Christmas song:


"Must Be Santa" as performed by Bob Dylan

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 23, 2009)

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

DAY 5 - YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE

"Do not multiply entities beyond necessity"

This is, of course, Ockham's Razor. It has also been put as "the simplest explanation is most often the correct one". It is a useful maxim to live by and one that I attempt to employ whenever possible. It has very likely contributed to my apostasy which began in steps when I was as young as 10 and before I'd even heard of this quote. It has also taught me to be aware of confirmation biases both in myself and in others. In other words, do I believe the information being presented because it is correct or because it fits in neatly with my world view? I would tend to believe that any worthwhile explanation could only conform to Ockham's Razor provided that my belief in its rectitude or falsehood is not required as I would then be that unnecessary multiplied entity.

Kosh's saying to Delenn, "The truth points to itself" I take as a retelling of Ockham's Razor. In other words, the truth does not need me for the truth to exist. The truth simply is... whether we accept it or not.

Have I failed in living up to this maxim? Most certainly. And I will certainly falter now and again throughout my life; but this is a quote that I try my best to live by.

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity" is a close second for me.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 22, 2009)

Monday, December 21, 2009

DAY 4 - YOUR FAVORITE BOOK

I have to admit I'm not much of a reader and while there's nothing in the title of this entry forbidding certain subject genres, I've always taken "book" to mean a work of fiction and that's where I'm gonna go with this.

I have read very few works of fiction since graduation. I blame that not entirely on the "being forced to read" for school; but rather, being forced to read solely from certain genres. Perhaps had I been introduced to science-fiction in high school or, perhaps more radically, to books that are actually funny...I would have a far larger mental library from which to choose. I didn't even know works of fiction could be funny until college. I believe it was in Good Omens that I first encountered genuine funny in books. But that won't be my favorite book.

Instead, that honor goes to: Space Cat by Ruthven Todd.

This brings me back to fourth grade. My teacher had a library in miniature in the classroom for us to read during, well...reading time. I remember no other books from that year except this one. I read it over and over and even jealously kept it in my desk so no one else could read it. Near the end of the school year, the teacher had us all return the books. I swear I didn't mean to, but I had completely forgotten to take it out of my desk. So instead, I secreted it into my bookbag and took it home where it would remain until sometime during high school when Mom would unceremoniously throw it out during one of her cleaning sprees to rid us of old junk we weren't using/playing with anymore.

I specifically remember the book introducing me to the verbal phrase, "had had". When I first saw it, I thought it was a misprint and delighted pointing it out to Mom who then showed me that it was indeed, a correct expression.

The story itself involved a stray cat being found by a pilot who would go on to be on the first piloted mission to the moon. The cat was christened "Flyball" and somehow the space agency (I forget the justification) deemed the cat worthy of being sent into space and being the first animal to walk on the moon. Some of the science was vaguely sound, like zero gravity and the moon being rather desolate. But it did feature life of sorts on the moon inside of caves. And it was these "sticky buttons" which Flyball would ultimately use to save the life of the astronaut whose helmet had sprung a leak after an accident. The cat was a hero folks! I'm sure it can be found summarized better elsewhere, but that's what I remember from a book I probably haven't read since 1988.

Space Cat was truly one of the few books I have ever delighted in reading not only more than once, but many times over. Something I can't say of any other books I have read since then. I highly recommend it to the 9 year old in you. :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 21, 2009)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

DAY 3 - YOUR FAVORITE TELEVISION PROGRAM

Again, I'm assuming that this is an all-time thing. For me, it would have to be You Can't Do That on Television during the heyday of Nickelodeon. No matter how many times I had seen a particular episode, I would cheerfully watch it and all its repeats whenever and however many times they aired.

The show also ties into one of my very few direct memories of Grandma. She was babysitting my Brother and me downstairs in my childhood home when the show came on. She was unaware of the running gag of various absurd shows being pre-empted so that YCDTonTV could be shown instead. That day happened to be one where the show was pre-empted by itself. ("You Can't Do That on Television will not be seen today...") I remember explaining to Grandma that they always did something like that when she remarked that Brother and I would have to watch something else.

I remember having a slight crush on Stephanie Chow, an ongoing theme perhaps of my early childhood seeing as how in third grade, I had a boyhood crush on a Japanese girl.

I was happy that Nickelodeon, for its 20th birthday, back in 1999 decided to air many of its old shows including YCDTonTV throughout the weekend. They were focusing on "Nickelodeon Knew Them Then" so the two episodes featured Alannis Morrisette. I wish there were more but that would have to wait for µTorrent :-)

Truly, it is a show that could not be done on television these days for children. One of the episodes featured in 1999 showed kids in the school hallways with guns and later the principal breaking into one of the kid's homes with an automatic weapon (the parents wouldn't believe that the principal was out to get him). There were no muzzle flashes, just sound effects; all in good fun, but impossible to do today not to mention the obviously Nazi dungeon warden and El Capitano and his incompetent firing squad. I highly doubt that even the choir boy scenes would go over well today either. Since the show is not available on DVD, torrent it and enjoy it all over again or just YouTube whatever you can find. It's well worth it!

On a sad note, earlier this year, Les Lye passed away at 84. He was the man behind the show as well as every adult male character.

Read it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/24/arts/television/24lye.html

There's also the Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You_Can%27t_Do_That_on_Television


You Can't Do That on Television intro

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 20, 2009)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

DAY 2 - YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE

I'm honestly not sure what my favorite movie is. I am much more of a television person than a movie one. There are a lot of movies I have liked, but none jump to the forefront like yesterday's song did. It's entirely possible that I have not yet seen my favorite movie yet and that's why I'm having such difficulty coming up with an example.

For now, I will say, "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut" simply because it was consistently funny and that I got to watch it for the first time with many of my dearest friends. In this case, I will let the experience trump the content.


"Blame Canada" by South Park

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 19, 2009)

Friday, December 18, 2009

DAY 1 - YOUR FAVORITE SONG

My favorite song is "You Won't See Me" by The Beatles. The only fault I have with this song is that it fades out too quickly. Of the many, many songs that I like that I have heard many hundreds of times over my years, this one has never lost its appeal. While I find "In My Life" to be, in my opinion, the best song ever written...I find myself enjoying this song better and in this case, enjoyment trumps lyrical wizardry. :-)

Enjoy!


"You Won't See Me" by The Beatles

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 18, 2009)

30 DAY MEME...

Make one post per day for the next thirty days to your Blogspot for each of the following (in order of course!):

Day 01 → Your favorite song
Day 02 → Your favorite movie
Day 03 → Your favorite television program
Day 04 → Your favorite book
Day 05 → Your favorite quote
Day 06 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 → A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 → A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 → A photo you took
Day 10 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 → A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 → A fictional book
Day 14 → A non-fictional book
Day 15 → A fanfic
Day 16 → A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 → An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 → A talent of yours
Day 20 → A hobby of yours
Day 21 → A recipe
Day 22 → A website
Day 23 → A YouTube video
Day 24 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 → Your day, in great detail
Day 26 → Your week, in great detail
Day 27 → This month, in great detail
Day 28 → This year, in great detail
Day 29 → Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 → Whatever tickles your fancy

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 18, 2009)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I FUCKING HATE COMPUTERS...

I am just coming off about 21 hours of dealing with my computer today. It started with a Blue Screen of Death (BSoD) this morning at 5:30 a.m. I couldn't even get to the account screen nor last good configuration nor any of the available safe modes. I found a diagnostic utility in one of the boot-up options and after six hours or so of testing, my computer concluded that nothing was wrong with the physical components of my system... hooray...

I got out the Installation Discs that came with my computer and reinstalled the O/S after I was told it would not affect my data files. That worked, but then began the frantic saving of critical files and triaging of the rest on my ever decreasing stack of DVDs and CDs, several of which were wasted because my CD/DVD burner has decided to become unreliable as well. My system crashed and I had to reboot. This time, it worked; but now began the endless update cycles. After five hours of this, I finally reached a point where I could go out and buy a flash drive for critical stuff and a back-up hard drive for the large data files unsuitable for DVDs and CDs (aka video files). I got home happy that I would be able to get this done only to have, as soon as the back-up hard drive made contact with the USB cable, the BSoD appear...again...

Very annoyed, I went to Microsoft Update and made sure everything on my computer was up to date. After another four hours of updates and restarts, I reattempted the Back-up hard drive install...and got the BSoD again immediately. No help could be found online but I took some comfort in the fact that others have had the same one. The supporting website for my product offered a solution, but it didn't work for me. So, I'm stuck...at 3 a.m. with only half the progress made. Critical files are backed up, yes; but the sorely needed backup drive is an utter failure meaning I'll have to walk again to the mall to replace it with another and still have to walk to work again later that night.

I'm so annoyed...and tired...and hungry...

ADDENDUM: My computer was finally up and running acceptably at about 7 a.m. Therefore, 24 hours spent on this thing. Score another one for tenacity [stubbornness]! The next day, I walked to Best Buy to return the hard drive. I settled on getting four 16 GB flash drives that were 50% off on sale. Cool. I'm figuring that if I can't get everything of importance to me on 80 GB, I have too much. My critical files (scans, photos, writings, programs I created, etc.) all fit on one of those flash drives with plenty of room to spare. I didn't even need five, but I'll rotate two for the critical stuff monthly. :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 16, 2009)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT THE CHRISTMAS TREE SHOP SELLS VIRTUALLY NONE OF...

I went out shopping yesterday because I decided that I would actually like to decorate my room a little bit for Christmas. I have this small dresser that is perfectly suited for placing an artificial tree between three and four feet tall upon. When we were living together, my Best Friend had just such a tree. I figured the best place to go would be The Christmas Tree Shop because well, it's in the title...it feels rather obvious don't you think? One of their stores is just across the highway from the Mall...just in range. I set out and got lucky in one sense: About a third of the way there, my friend Shortii saw me, picked me up and took me the rest of the way saving me some wear and tear on my li'l footsies.


I get there and am greeted by the Salvation Army bellringers, none of whom were being pushy so I told myself that I would get to them on the way out. I go inside the Christmas Tree Shop and am immediately taken by an obvious lack of Christmas trees available for sale. Mind you, this is December 8th so it's not too late in the season for me to think I ought to be able to find one. Their selection of small table trees was pitiful at best. For a store calling itself The Christmas Tree Shop, you would think it would be a little more heavily weighted in Christmas-themed offerings. I know such a store could not survive the rest of the year on such a theme, but this is not the rest of the year...this is Christmas goddamnit!

Anyways, the tabletop trees they were offering were of a truly shitty quality and all were "pre-lit". I DON'T WANT LIGHTS IN MY TREE! Why is simplicity so fucking difficult to find these days? I have no outlet for such a tree and even if I did, I have no desire to light it up anyway. I just want a simple, somewhat realistic-looking artificial tree whose branches are strong enough to hold up a heavier-than-normal ornament. I cannot find such a thing. I'm not gonna buy the peripherals without the centerpiece.

I left the Christmas Tree Shop, put $20 in the Salvation Army pot, and went to the adjacent stores Ikea and Bed Bath & Beyond. No luck in either store. The first of two patterns that I had noticed in all my (attempts at) shopping were that all these stores offer a wide selection of peripherals: ornaments, wreaths, lights, wrapping paper, candles, holly, wintery themes, snowglobes, etc. but the tree selection was shit: poor quality, pre-lit (I saw one with fiber-optic branches), or with crap in it like artificial poinsettia flowers or glitter that I don't want either.

Since the Mall was across the way, I went there and learned again that pedestrians are truly the scum of the earth for urban planners. I don't get why sidewalks are on the bridges themselves (and usually on only one side too which strikes me as odd), but once you're off the bridge, they disappear. At best, there's a guardrail I can walk behind on muddy grass next to the road...otherwise, it's a shoulder. And while I get that phony courtesy from drivers on lightly-travelled suburban roads -- you know, when the driver waves you to cross when they're the ones with the right of way or they signaled their intent to turn so I stopped at the corner waiting for them to turn...but they let me go anyway. I fucking hate that...JUST GO!!! I'm not in a hurry, I'm walking...it kind of implies leisurely. Just go and don't give me your bullshit kindness -- That "courtesy", however, completely disappears when near the Mall. A pedestrian is the equivalent of a hamburger wrapper caught in the breeze floating across the street. Light's green on your side? They don't give a fuck. A gap wide enough for you to finally cross through opens up? Eh...I'll make my turn now and make you keep waiting. Crossing the street on the clear? They don't give a shit, they're turning right in front of you, missing you sometimes by inches. I had that happen in my old apartment...it threw my mind for such a loop that the only "rational" response I was capable of was desiring to throw a rock at that car like an angry monkey. The side-view mirror came within six inches of me and he crossed in front of me while turning off from the main road onto the side road I was still crossing. But I've digressed...

In the Mall, I checked out J.C. Penney's, got distracted by a Christmas-themed temporary store, and then went in Macy's where I had originally planned to go before happening on the Christmas Tree Shop idea. Nothing. And here I stumbled upon the other pattern: All of these stores had higher quality store decoration trees than the ones they were offering for sale to their customers. I don't get that at all. Macy's actually had what was probably one notch below what I was looking for (the needles could've looked better). It was definitely acceptable, I would've bought it. Problem? Store decoration...not for sale. What they were offering? A far inferior product... I don't get it. I really don't.

On the way home, I checked out the local CVS out of desperation...nothing. I went to National Wholesale Liquidators...no table top trees. I finally went to the Home Depot. The Home Depot had a surprisingly large selection of trees, both real and fake. Home Depot had a far superior selection of trees than did the Christmas Tree Shop which, quite honestly, I find inherently wrong... Home Depot came close. I was tired. I was ready to accept even a pre-lit tree but again, I could not find not only what I was looking for, but not even something approximating what I was looking for. Annoyed and disappointed, I went to the local pizza place, bought a pie, and went home to watch Tora! Tora! Tora! like I was supposed to on the seventh.

I'll just have to try online...but this is really something that needs to be checked out in person before buying. Sigh... I just don't get it. Simplicity is probably the hardest thing to find. I remember when my CD player's laser broke, trying to replace the unit was difficult. I wanted a player that had as few moving parts as possible. That meant it just held one CD at a time...none of this multi-CD stuff. I wanted a cassette player on it, a radio, and an auxiliary port since I had just recently purchased an XM radio. I also wanted all the functions to be on the unit itself and for it to have as few bells and whistles as possible. I don't need a graphics equalizer with actual graphics; I don't need a clock; just a simple stereo system. I ended up, in frustration, getting one that came with a remote. The unit itself, has every function except, for some reason, a button to access the auxiliary port. You need the remote to do that. So now I keep a remote around simply so I can listen to my XM. It's also impossible to program a CD without the remote either. I don't get it...why is that so hard? WHY DOES EVERYTHING COME WITH A FUCKING REMOTE CONTROL?!! But I digress.....

ADDENDUM: This is the result of all my stress. I spent the following Monday looking for tinsel to wrap the tree with. Again, I found nothing at mall but this time, my desperate bid at CVS actually paid off and CVS was thus duly awarded with additional purchases of wrapping paper and tree ornaments.


(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 9, 2009)

Monday, December 7, 2009

ANY TAKERS?

I was just on the phone with Best Friend and it led into another argument. When I mention my friends and family don't like her, she understandably gets defensive but quickly becomes a regular Torquemada demanding specifics for why she isn't liked. I can't provide specifics because I generally don't remember them. I remember the "echo" of the situation. What matters to me is the behavior, not the specific example. I don't know how to prove to her that she's bigoted and likely racist; but I've recognized the behavior from the examples I've heard in the past. I've pointed out that the majority complaint I get about her is that my friends/family don't like the way she treats me/that they feel like she takes advantage of me. Again, no specific examples but I do have the sense of entitlement behavior understood.

      So, as the title of this entry suggests...any takers? You are welcome to spew your venom here without fear of retribution. But I do request specific examples so at least I can arm myself for our next, inevitable confrontation. While I don't intend to use any of your names, you can assume that she's smart enough to figure out who you are. I'm kinda working on the assumption that none of you honestly care if she likes you or not and that none of you are actually seeking her friendship. I wish more of you on here have met her... Every job she's ever had, she's never been liked. You can forgive the first and second ones as simply bad luck, but you've established a pattern by jobs three, four, five, and six. You guys here are about as close to coworkers as one could hope for. So by all means, speak your mind. :-)

ADDENDUM: I was just thinking. I mentioned how I remember only the "echo" of things. My mind is very analytical by nature. I care about the behavior more than the event probably in the same way that a mathematical proof is more important than a single (or even many) examples. I guess you could think of my mind as a kind of improv troupe: Once I know the behavior, you can toss out situations and churn out the appropriate response. Give me an emotional state, a place, and a situation... :-p

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 7, 2009)

[a comment received]

From Roommate: I dunno, man. I mean, there's not much I can say here that I haven't said in person. Mainly, it's that she not only says shitty and stupid things, but the tenacity with which she defends them. I'm sorry, maybe this is wrong, but I'm of the belief that if you're spewing offensive crap about a particular group of people and someone says "Hey, I'm part of that group," you should apologize and shut up. When she was here the other night, saying all this very racist stuff, it was like walking onto the set of West Side Story, and the fact that she said it all very calmly rather than foaming at the mouth with a hate sign doesn't make it any better. In fact, it kind of makes it worse. Look at Lyndysty, that chick who was all into Vir. She was a fucking sociopath and a massive racist, and it wasn't lessened just because she talked about it matter-of-factly with a dazzling smile. She is, in my view, very willingly ignorant, and that makes it impossible for me to respect her and massively difficult for me to like her. And then there's how she treats you. She comes over here and acts like a fucking Diva. Not that I mind terribly lending someone my pillow, but I'd rather have lent it to you, who didn't even have one since you were SLEEPING ON THE COUCH. She just seems like a very shallow, selfish, narcissistic person, and she doesn't deserve you