NATHAN EXPLOSION AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON TREY PARKER...

Okay, I thought I was going to Mom's straight after work. I was wrong so I will be online (at least until my sleeping pill kicks in!) today. In the meantime, please enjoy the following. This has become my new favorite Christmas song.

This is easily the most brutal song I've ever heard. It's both totally true and worth heeding and oh! is it uncomfortable. Enjoy!


"Dead Dead Dead" by Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics
Merry Chris'mas everybody!

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 24, 2008)

I'M SURE YOU KNOW THE FEELING...

I've been sick since this past Tuesday, but I don't think it's the same sickness. It's like I've been "trading up". I've gone from a sneezing sickness to a fever/aching sickness to what may turn out to be Bronchitis. Beautiful.

Whatever's attacking my body is acting like one of those bosses that just won't die in a video game. Usually they get just three incarnations so that's what I'm hoping for. :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 21, 2008)

ON A FAR LIGHTER NOTE...

I finally got around to trying the Planter's mixed nuts I had bought. The results?

I still only like peanuts. I can tolerate all the other nuts in there: the almonds, cashews, pecans, brazil nuts, and hazelnuts.

Basically what that means is when I like a food, I can eat it by itself. If I tolerate a food, that means, while I can eat it alone (if I have to), I would prefer it be a part of something else. I tolerate peas, but I'm much more willing to eat them when mixed with other vegetables.

None of the nuts had any aftertastes to turn me off from them so they're available preferably for recipes for those of you keeping track of all this. I haven't eaten a walnut yet, but given the track record of the previous nuts, I can't see them as being any different.


p.s. I used up the last of my eggs today. The sell by date on the carton was December 24th so I made them all (six!) for breakfast today along with some waffles for me and my Best Friend. Who knows when I might next eat an egg. I have effective substitutes so it may never come up. I still have a quarter pound of butter and some margarine left, but they'll be gone in due time. :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 19, 2008)

I WAS SICK YESTERDAY AND NOW I'M VENTING...

I started getting sick on Tuesday (digusting sneezing sickness and slight scratchiness in the throat for those who must know), thought I was getting better on Wednesday though never felt totally better at work, and then had it come back with a vengeance for Thursday. I went to bed at about 6 a.m. (I usually go to sleep at 7 a.m.), and would not get up for any more than a bathroom trip until 3 a.m. this Friday morning. I had a fever, cold sweats, stuffy nose, and a very sore throat. I'm getting better now. The stuffiness remains, but everything else has gone. I called out of work yesterday (something I did not want to do as I've called out a lot this year -- 6 days!) and now am facing the prospect of my annual income actually dropping for the first time since the 1997/8 period. Sigh.....

What bothered me about this whole experience is exactly how much my Best Friend did not pick up the slack for me yesterday. She's been bothering me with her general laziness around this apartment and had been given the perfect opportunity to make me look like an ass yesterday only instead, to thoroughly disappoint.

When she came home, she found me asleep in my room and woke me to ask to come out and keep her company as she was depressed and wanted to talk to me. Normally, I would get up at this point because that's what I do, but I was sick and mumbled so through my sore throat. A few hours later, I would get up to use the bathroom. She asked me what was going on for dinner and I told her that I wouldn't be cooking anything but that I would give her money to get some Boston Market or Chinese Food or even a pizza. She didn't say anything. She again asked me to get up to keep her company because she was depressed and that she would take care of me because I was sick by making me soup or something and again I told her that I was sick and unusually tired and went back to bed.

For those of you who think I'm acting like an ass here in not comforting my Best Friend, I'll remind you that she's practically a hypochondriac and that I was actually thinking of her by not hanging around her and coughing my extra-powerful viruses on her. She acts as though I were giving her the plague if anything I'm eating or drinking with comes in contact with her food or drink...as if I don't find that terribly insulting. She accidentally drank from my Pepsi the other day and when she found out she was disgusted and lamented that she would now be getting sick (she hasn't). How does she kiss her boyfriends? She even gets disgusted if I taste a piece of pasta to make sure it's done using the same large spoon I've been stirring it with -- never mind that the water the pasta's in is BOILING and will kill every virus and practically every bacterium known to man (unless I'm actually harboring those Yellowstone hot springs bacteria in my mouth). She has no concept of germ theory, but I digress.

I was considering calling my Best Friend's cellphone from my room after 9 o'clock so she could let me know what's been bothering her, but she went to bed at about 8:45 p.m. and the next time I would see would be about 2 a.m.

So, what did I finally awaken to at 3 a.m.? What did my Best Friend do all day while I was laid out? I awoke to find the same Pepsi can, plastic cup, and glass on the coffee table in the living room that was there when I left for work Wednesday night. I saw a package of bread on the table and a bottle of Nutella with a knife laid across the lid. The dishes from Wednesday's dinner (which I would've done Thursday afternoon) were still not done, she ate up the last of the brownies (good thing I set aside three that morning for my lunch snacks at work) and left the messy plate by the sink with no attempt made to scrape the crumbs off it. I found the mail still by the door at the bottom of the stairs (she never bothered to go get it). The garbage can was full...why would she take it out. The recyclables were full...again, why would she take it out. And there was no attempt to make me any dinner nor did she go out like I had suggested to get me anything when I did finally get up meaning that she also missed an opportunity to show me some of the generosity I claim she doesn't have...cuz why would she spend some of her money on me. There also was only about a quarter cup of orange juice left too. *sigh* So in other words, my Best Friend "took care of me" while I was sick by making sure that everything I was supposed to do that Thursday would be there waiting for me when I would get up this Friday morning and that I would be doing it without any dinner cuz no one's ever hungry after having gone 21 hours without eating.

I'm really glad to know that I can count on her to pick up the slack when I'm laid out for a little while. I confronted her about this...I don't know why I did because I should've known ahead of time that it would lead to an argument whereby not only would I be wrong but how could I expect my Best Friend to do anything when she was depressed? Another thing I can add to the pile for why I am just so completely disgusted with her.


She told me the other day too that I would be getting a Christmas present, a new computer chair to replace the broken one I've been sitting on since July that she said she would replace then. Now I'm getting something she was supposed to have done months ago and it's getting rebranded as a Christmas present. I feel so loved. And I don't know if it's ironic or simply a coincidence, but she and her most recent boyfriend basically broke up over his "thoughtlessness" over her birthday present. They argued over it and within a week or two, they were broken up. Now, I'm obviously not gonna "break up" with her over this, but I do find it somewhat amusing that I'm now the recipient of the same kind of thoughtlessness that she claimed to have gotten from her ex-boyfriend and I'm supposed to be happy that I'm getting anything. So this means, after 14 Christmases, I'll be receiving my second gift from her. I gave her a digital camera for Christmas which was supposed to be an identical one to the one I'm using but instead received the next higher model. It works the same, so she's happy. She also got a $50 gift certificate to Macy's paid for by my credit card purchases over this past year. For those of you keeping track, it was actually a digital camera that her ex got her for her birthday. I felt it was thoughtful as my Best Friend was always borrowing mine and he may have simply concluded that she did not have a camera so he got her one. That was his big mistake, especially since it wasn't sleek and stylish like mine (I personally got it because it garnered really positive reviews -- it seemed like a good first camera for that reason. The fashionableness was coincidental). I get her a camera nearly identical to my own and it suddenly became a thoughtful gift when in fact (I didn't want to get her anything -- money's tight this year but) I was tired of her using my own so often. I admit that this thus removes the thoughtfulness of the gift idea from my perspective.

It's not so much that I actually want her to get me gifts and I will not even claim to feel entitled to them but is it wrong to want to feel like she actually listens to me throughout the year? There are easily a dozen things she could've done that would show me that she not only is paying attention, but that she cares. And I'm not even talking money. I really am a thought that counts kinda guy and I can't even get that. ----- [My most thoughtful Christmas gift this year will almost certainly be from Grotla with the "Nostalgia" comic I've been remembering for like ten years now. I made a passing reference to it to her (Grotla) at Candlemaker and Miss Hugs-a-Lot's reception and a few months later, I received it in the mail much to my delight.]

It bothers me so much from her (Best Friend) because she's (Best Friend's) told me and I've heard her (Best Friend) on the phone talking to her friends about how she's been with certain boyfriends for a lot longer than she wanted to simply because she would rather be in a bad relationship than not have anyone at all. So how is that supposed to make me feel? She's put me down on more than one occasion calling me a loser, weird, that I walk funny, diatribes about my job, the way I dress, and such. All destructive criticism with no attempt being made as to how I might improve upon this. I really get the impression at times that she's embarrassed to know me or embarrassed that she has to know me because I'm the only one of her friends who has stuck by her over the years. She's been making some friends now but I have no confidence that she'll keep them. I always introduce her as "my best friend" (although lately, I've been thinking that "best" is more of a euphemism for "known the longest") wherever we go. I don't think I've ever heard the same. I think it's a mixture of "This is my friend Vachon" -- "This is Vachon. No, we're just friends." -- She barely admits to anyone that we live together. Am I her friend or will she just ditch me the moment someone better comes along? I bring this up and of course she disagrees with it. *sigh*

I hope one of these days that I can actually be with someone who loves me so I can know what it's like. I feel like a beaten dog. There's nothing more in the world I would like than to be pet and yet every time I am pet or I look forward to being pet, I'm either let down or smacked. How much has my Best Friend contributed to my inability to accept compliments, praise, love, and affection I wonder? *looking down at keyboard*

Oh That Other Journal, where would I be without you?

ADDENDUM: Good to know I can count on my Roommate too for the same thing. I'm laid out on Wednesday (10/27/10) with a pretty powerful cold. What do I awake to find? All the dishes still waiting in the sink...plus new ones! He didn't get the mail. The kitchen floor unswept. I vacuum the dining room and living room every Wednesday...he didn't do that either. I clean the dining room too...nope. What does he do all day? It's not like he has a job or is even looking for one... What the fuck? How do I keep getting stuck with shitty roommates? I'm so glad I can count on my friends when I get sick...

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 19, 2008)

AWESOME NOSTALGIC CHRISTMAS

I just opened a piece of mail I got from Grotla. She gave me a copy of one of my favorite comics I have ever seen. How awesome! I'll scan it later so I can share it with all of you. Thank you Grotla! Awesome! :-D

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 17, 2008)

WHO KNOWS WHERE THIS IS GOING...

I've been making some changes in my diet lately. I guess it could be said that I'm trying to be less lazy about what it is I'm eating which is to say, I've been paying attention to ingredients.

Out of genuine curiosity, I asked to see a documentary film called Earthlings, a decidedly biased film about man's relationships with the animals of this world. I'm not gonna do a film review here as that is not the point of this entry. What I will say, is that despite the bias inherent in the film, it is possible to see through to the greater points being brought up. The film was unflinching and brutal and while I imagine it has shocked and traumatized its fair share of viewers into sudden vegetarians/vegans, that was not my reaction overall.

My general reaction was that of anger...like that of betrayal. I have no problem with killing my food. What I do have a problem with is the heinous conditions under which our food animals live out their lives. Just because their destiny is to die for my dinnerplate doesn't mean they are not entitled to an existence as free from disease, stress, and general misery as is reasonable and that their deaths should be as quick and painless as possible. Again, I'm sure the film showed only the worst of what they had found, but that doesn't matter to me as even if there are upstanding facilities out there, I cannot tell where the meats/products have come from based on the packaging or by reading ingredient lists. The FDA doesn't regulate terms/phrases like "humanely treated" so even if a company makes that claim, it doesn't carry any legal weight (The FDA does, for the sake of example, regulate terms like "cheese", "juice", and "milk chocolate" which is why you'll occasionally see "cheese food/product", "orange drink", and "milk chocolate-flavored" on packaging when you're getting anything but the real thing). After digesting the film for a few days and corresponding about it with The Vegan, I decided that, while I have no intention of becoming vegan or even a vegetarian, I would attempt to reduce my usage/consumption of animals and animal products under the idea of "If I use less, I cause less". Another analogue would be that of using fluorescent lighting...you're still using electricity, but now you're using less of it. I also fully admit that my efforts are the rough equivalent of the drop in ocean levels after having removed a glass of water from it :-)

I'm going after the soft targets first in my life to see how I handle the changes and if I'd even notice them. The soft targets in my life are eggs, butter, and leather. I rarely eat eggs themselves and even when I do, they're always scrambled. Otherwise eggs are in recipes only and on top of that, eggs are relatively tasteless. Butter too, I rarely eat outside of a recipe. It's limited to pancakes, waffles, and toast that I wanna put cinnamon sugar on. Otherwise, it's a non-entity. I've still got about a half-dozen eggs and a quarter pound of butter left to use up (I'm not gonna waste them). I've purchased a butter substitute The Vegan recommended (I don't feel like getting up to see what the name is) and have already substituted eggs with applesauce and flaxseed flour using my Best Friend as a guinea pig. I've since told her that I was thinking of her health which is why I've been using the aforementioned substitutes and she's actually delighted that I'm concerned about her health and mine as well. That was well-played politically. Had I dropped The Vegan's name into this, it would've only turned into a negative diatribe.

Leather I intend to rid myself of as well as the film did show cows from India being slaughtered solely for their hides and not for food also. I didn't have a problem with leather in principle because I eat beef and figure that using the hides for leather is simply not wasting the animal whose life was taken. I've always been against fur for that reason as we don't eat foxes, minks, and other animals whose fur is coveted (let alone for the particularly brutal methods used to get that fur...seriously, what is the reason given for skinning the animal alive?). I'm sure in the United States that cows slaughtered for beef also have their hides sold for leather, etc. but since I can't place the origin of the leather in my shoes (my only leather item), I must divest myself of leather as well.

So far, so good. I've made breading for pork chops using the flaxseed flour in place of the egg, applesauce brownies (attempting the flaxseed version today), and applesauce pancakes. The costs of the substitutes are comparable to that of the eggs so finances won't play into this. Cleanup's easier too which is also a bonus :-)

As for milk, which I do use in my cereal and do consume directly, I don't foresee me changing over to any of the various "milks" out there (Why aren't they referred to as "milque"? Vegans have "Chik'in". I'm calling dibs on the copyright then. I'll also claim "porque", "beeph", and "turkie" if no one else has). However, recipe substituting is still possible, but that's further down the road than I'm willing to go right now.

Anyways, despite that, I have been reducing my milk usage. Instead of having cereal seven days a week (I'm lazy in the morning...don't feel like cooking and making even more dishes to wash), I'm having oatmeal every other day and I can have waffles or pancakes (I drink orange juice with those) on one of my days off. That way, my milk usage is reduced to 50% of normal. Again, my goal is conservation, not elimination. I have no intention of refusing meals anywhere I go because they contain meat or animal products. I'm simply reducing my omniverousness. :-)

I bought some Planters mixed nuts to find out if I like or can at least tolerate nuts other than peanuts. I haven't had any yet, but I'll see what results. In the meantime, I'll continue looking at ingredients.

p.s. As one final point, I did find myself wondering if slaughterhouses attract sociopaths like the way jobs which place an adult in care of children attract pedophiles. Quite a number of people in the film being secretly taped seemed to be taking pleasure in torturing and killing their charges...laughing at the pain they're inflicting. That was disturbing. I have ended the lives of some animals (read: mice, and fish when I was younger), but have never taken pleasure in having done so.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 16, 2008)

ADDENDUM: I did not stick this diet plan nor did I ever get around to finding non-leather shoes. If I remember correctly, my Mom bought me a couple pairs of shoes for my birthday in 2009 and by the time those had worn out, I was moving off this diet plan. I forget exactly when I moved on but certain little things have stuck like my snack cookies are still vegan and I still only use marinara sauce. I was good with bread for a while but the need to increase fiber in my diet means my bread is no longer vegan. That's just off the top of my head. I'm sure other stuff still is being done. When I make soup, it's still a vegan vegetable soup and during the days I eat it (it takes several, like five days...I don't know how to make "a little soup"), I do a vegan marathon just because I can...even the bread. I just eat bananas to make up the fiber difference. My salt intake was really high during this experiment though. (Aug. 13, 2013)

LOOKING FOR A PUNCHLINE...

A student in a veterinary class asked this question. I'm sure it was sincere and all, but I couldn't help but read it as the start of a riddle or bad joke. It's in want of a punchline and I want to know if any of my friends here are capable of coming up with one. Good luck!

Q. How do you know when a dog or cat has a fever?

A. ???

So, I don't know. How can you tell when a dog or a cat has a fever?

Some examples to help you out would be:

Q. What kind of clothing do dogs like best?
A. Pants

Q. What is a cat's favorite thing to listen to?
A. Mew-sic or Purr-cussion

Anything that elicits a groan is perfect :-)

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 3, 2008)

ABSOLUTE RANDOM NUTTINESS BETWEEN FRIENDS...

you were too much into the 'geek' and not enough into the 'greek'

as he stood by the 'creek' thinking about what he did last 'week'

perhaps he'll learn to 'tweak' the things that make him 'reek'

so he can 'seek' the 'sneak' who made off with his 'leek'

Perhaps he can 'peek' to find out who took a 'leak' (HAHAHAHA)

and then kiss the 'cheek' of the 'freak' who is no longer 'unique'

His chair is 'teak' and his interest does 'pique' for the reason she is 'meek'

perhaps it's her 'mystique' or is it her love for a good 'antique'?

She finds the 'beak' when it bites makes her go 'eek!'

for the bird's 'critique' was that she was not 'chic' so she must therefore not be 'bleak'

Anyone got any more lines? Anyone? I demand Kudos!

(you've still got peak, Sikh, sheik, shriek, sleek, speak, squeak, streak, weak, wreak, Zeke :-) )

(originally posted in That Other Journal on November 25, 2008)

SURVEY SAYS!!!

Alright, I was having dumb thoughts at work today. It seems to me that of the Four Questions, three of them can be related to A Christmas Carol.

Why are you here? -- Ghost of Christmas Past
Who are you? -- Ghost of Christmas Present
Where are you going? -- Ghost of Christmas Future

So...what does that make What do you want?

(originally posted in That Other Journal on November 14, 2008)

A TWIST OF MENTOS...

What's not to love?
(originally posted to That Other Journal on October 27, 2008)

DENIED!!!

Oh am I annoyed! When I clean up at my job, I occasionally find more than dirt and dust -- namely money. Granted, most of it is in the form of pennies and dimes, but the occasional better find does show up every so often.

I know I'm not entitled to this money, but then, I can't really argue for my place of employment's defense either. For the most part, I think the famous case of Finders vs. Keepers definitely applies. I just apply reasonable doubt to the find. If it's in the drawer, for instance, only a cashier could have put it there and forgotten about it. If it's rolled coin, it's obviously a cashier's and must be returned. But on the floor? Fuck it, it's mine.

The rear belt of our registers has this large metal plate which lifts up to reveal a dust catcher and a poorly thought out wooden interior (perfect for absorbing organic fluids!). Usually what's under there is of course dust and debris, but occasionally a flat item gets drawn under even the occasional bag of salad and candy, but it's usually Dr. Scholl's corn removers. On rare occasion, a piece of currency will slip beneath there and it'll be mine for the picking...except for today.

My manager saw me cleaning the registers and I guess in his boredom, lifted up the plate I was getting to next to reveal a twenty dollar bill. Fuck!!! (yes, reasonable doubt applies here. It's almost certain that a dumb customer wasn't paying attention as it slipped beneath the plate and was now out twenty dollars) Now it's found money and I had to log it as such.

What makes me obsess about this even more is that A: he's never taken an interest in what I've been doing before in terms of clean up and B: he was only there because he couldn't find his house keys. Instead, I went home with three pennies and a kopeck. Grrr.....

Beaten to the prize. :) Is that Nelson Muntz?

(originally posted to That Other Journal on October 24, 2008)

STUPID LIBRA...

I feel compelled to just point out that today, my Best Friend and I had a very good day. No arguments, no nothing. Simple interactions. She even pointed out that I had made her feel better today (it has nothing to do with my recent posts). It's not all negative with us. As stuff like this is hardly headline news, I will just point out that yes, it is safe to assume that no news is indeed, good news :)

(originally posted in That Other Journal on October 21, 2008)

YET ANOTHER ARGUMENT...

I'm starting to think my Best Friend and I need safety words. Not for sexual reasons (do I have to insert obviously here?); but rather, for argumentative reasons.

We seem to feed off each other in such a way that we tend to upgrade what should normally be simple disagreements from simple thunderstorms to Category 3 hurricanes.

While I think we both share certain psychoses when it comes to our arguing styles, I do tend to blame myself more for perpetuating them. I think I need to train my mind to simply shut up cuz once I get going, I really don't care how heated it gets nor do I care how stupid the flash point was. I tried explaining my hypothesis to her but I don't think she's gonna go for it. She seems to have this weird, albeit perfectly reasonable, idea that I should be able to recognize that things are spiraling out of control. I couldn't get through to her that my dumb analytical mind would surely respond to this kind of thing...or that I least, I was quite confident that it would until I can train myself to recognize these destructive patterns.

Any ideas as to how I might better explain this off to her so that maybe she'll cooperate? I'm listening and would appreciate your help. :)

(originally posted in That Other Journal on October 21, 2008)

THIS IS A BEST FRIEND FREE ZONE...

I dunno. Is venting a good thing to do on the Internets? I guess in addition to the many uses of That Other Journal, I could add venting about my Best Friend here to my other friends/readers as she is not a registered user. I'll have to be careful about this.

When I was telling the people I work with about our impromptu reunion last Sunday, I couldn't help but mention these little tidbits.

First of all, how thick is this emotional callus of mine that it took about three hours of your collective Care Bear stares to get through to my No Heart soul? What's happened to me? Thank goodness we continued to hang out afterward. I must say that that was probably the first time in over eight years where I got my hopes up and wasn't let down for doing so like so so many times before.

and.....

After it was all over, and as the inevitability of my returning home sunk in, my final thoughts after leaving my Roommate's car were, "Please don't be awake. Please don't be awake," because I knew that only my Best Friend could be capable of ruining the otherwise perfect day I had with the friends I've missed so much.

Thankfully, she was asleep. *wiping nervous sweat from brow*

And thus the day, was about as perfect as anyone could ask for.

Oh, and I guess it should go without saying, but for the sake of not making assumptions. For those of you who know who I actually am, never use real names on this site. Either use the pseudonyms I've already selected or be roundabout. I'll know who you're talking about. Thank you.

ADDENDUM: original entry is from October 19, 2008 and has been modified to sort-of anonymize those being talked about.