STEAL THIS IDEA, part XIV

      Have you ever heard of Krampus? No? Well, he's basically Santa Claus's evil twin who kidnaps especially naughty children to bring to his lair for drowning, eating, or transport to Hell.

(read about it here for more details)

     My idea is for a slasher film featuring Krampus as the killer but instead of looking demonic, looking exactly like Santa Claus which would enable him to get close to his victims since they would let their guard down for Santa.
      I picture him riding in a sleigh pulled by eight flying decaying corpse reindeer (with glowing red eyes of course) reined with rusted chains and the sack on board would be filled not with toys, but with the many weapons he would use to kill his victims who are presumably on the Naughty List. The weapons could be Christmas gift themed if you must like a doll whose head once removed reveals a dagger (let's say).
      In the end, the Final Girl almost dies but is saved at the last moment by the real Santa Claus, who in the course of the attack would reveal Krampus's true form before dispatching him.
      The world's naughtiness could be what keeps the creature from ever dying permanently thus allowing for many sequels if need be.

      Given this creature's modus operandi, the cast should all be people who would be on Santa's Naughty List, even the Final Girl.

      Stupid holiday fun!

      Or you could play it as more a children's horror film and have Krampus with the same M.O. and disguised as Santa Claus. The film could feature several naughty children and one goody-two-shoes. The naughty children are kidnapped one by one before Christmas (perhaps taken via temptation by whatever form of naughtiness they symbolize - a Seven Deadly Sins for children). The goody-two-shoes makes a plea to Santa Claus who appears and together they rescue his/her friends and save Christmas.
     .....Unless you want to go all in and have the children be killed in which case the goody-two-shoes and Santa would have to work together to rid the world of Krampus once and for all.

PEOPLE AGAINST DOLLAR COINS ARE RETARDED

     Okay, I can't find a link to it, but in the December 2nd, 2012 issue of the New York Post, a brief editorial appeared to take a stand against switching over to dollar coins using the same retarded reasoning that I tend to come across. A Democratic congresswoman, Lacy Clay (D-Mo) is quoted as saying, "[M]en don’t like carrying coins in their pockets or their suits." Another NY state representative who apparently has not seen a dollar coin since the Susan B. Anthony Dollar, claimed that constituents had a difficult time distinguishing them from a quarter (not that I've ever heard this complaint regarding a dime and cent which are also nearly identically sized and differ in roughly the same ways).

    You also still get the occasional problem with "heavy coins" even though four quarters weigh more than a single dollar coin. In fact, four quarters weigh about as much as three dollar coins. Three times the value per unit weight!

     The editorial later mentioned bringing accumulated coins to the bank to cash in for bills. See, that's where the issue of dollar coins comes in. Coins weren't minted to be hoarded and cashed in periodically: They were made to be spent. The reason your coins fill up jars for days and weeks on end only to be cashed out at a later time is because they, the coins, have no purchasing power. Remember, a bottle of Coca-Cola didn't cost 5¢ "back in the day" because it was cute, but rather because the money supply was much smaller so five cents went further. The old song, "Brother Can You Spare a Dime?" referred to a coin with actual purchasing power (based on inflation, a dime in 1931, when that song was written, is worth $1.52 today).

     The fact is, our current monetary system contains several coins with negligible purchasing power. If you go back to 1913, when the U.S. government first started keeping inflation statistics, you'll find that a cent back then would be worth 23¢ today which suggests that the quarter today is our "penny" making the dime, nickel, and lowly cent far more a nuisance than useful. Our face-to-face transactions do not need to be more precise than the quarter-dollar.
     Thinking back on it, I have no memory of ever being able to use a penny in vending machines or for pay phones. My entire life of over 30 years, the cent has been "nummus non grata", so why have we kept it? I remember when ShopRite first started offering 2¢ for a reused bag back in 1990, laughing about the worthlessness of 2¢ to my brother even back then. Nickel vending machines existed briefly during my childhood for the tiniest of gumballs only but I don't remember them after 1983 or 4. Dime vending machines disappeared sometime around 1993 or 4.
     Cents, nickels, and dimes must be used in enormous aggregate to buy even trivial things. The average item value in a supermarket these days is about $2.30 (approximately 10¢ in 1913). That would mean the average item would cost 230 pennies, 46 nickels, 23 dimes, 10 quarters, 5 half dollars, or 3 dollar coins to meet or exceed that total. Justifying even quarters under this scheme is difficult but the first three coins? Forget it. They're not useful for transactions and more work than they're worth (by that I mean if you are diligent, you can cycle your pennies into nickels and nickels into dimes and so forth until getting a dollar again).

     And here, people complain about dollar coins which now effectively have less purchasing power than the 1913 nickel (approximately 4.3¢). There shouldn't even be five and ten dollar bills at this point either. But that is another argument.
     Back to the stupid Congresswoman's argument, large numbers of coins would not be carried in one's pockets if they were more valuable. In fact, they would be too valuable to be carried around like that. We only carry lots of change now because change, even in aggregate, cannot buy anything anymore and quarters are the only commonly encountered coins whose value adds up fast enough to be even minorly significant.

     It's our mentality about change that is wrong. This was also evident in the editorial when the author mentioned other nations' high value coins (Like Canada and Switzerland. In fact, I believe the highest Swiss coin is worth more than $5) but using the same "pocketful of change" mentality we now have instead of realizing that if we regularly carried coins with significant value, that we would spend them accordingly because they would not be nuisances weighing down and wearing out our pockets but economically useful like the coins of the United States used to be, y'know...back in the day.

     I hate inflation. I would rather a deflationary policy to improve the value of our money, but that's not gonna happen. The dollar bill needs to go (as does the cent, nickel, dime, $2 bill, $5 bill, and $10 bill). We need a more sensible coin and currency structure for this country.
     In my opinion, it should be three sets of three: Three base metal coins (25¢, 50¢, $1); Three appropriately-sized silver coins ($2 or $2½, $5, $10); and Three pieces of currency ($20, $50, $100). With the presence of debit/credit cards, bills larger than $100 would not be necessary. The purpose of using silver would be to raise the intrinsic value of the high value coins enough so as to discourage counterfeiting. The cent, nickel, and dime have to be eliminated and I say this as an ardent cent collector too...

     What do you think?

STEAL THIS IDEA, part XIII

     Just a quickie. I had this thought walking to work looking up at the dark night sky and imagining how terrifying it would be if the darkness were actually just the eyelids of some incomprehensibly large beast and watching the "eye" open before me, an impossibly gigantic iris and pupil staring down at me.

     I'm guessing this would be the kind of movie/show which ends badly for the protagonist.

LINE OF THE DAY, part XXXIII

From commenter Heras-clitus on the article 5 Reasons to Be Terrified That Computers Can Now Read Faces on Cracked.com (forgoing the usual centering and italicizing since it would interrupt the flow of the comment):

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell ......check
Blue skies from pain ......check
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail? .....check
A smile from a veil? .....check
Do you think you can tell? check and confirmed

Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts? ......Transaction complete
Hot ashes for trees? ......Confirmed
Hot air for a cool breeze? .....Action in progress
Cold comfort for change? .......Processing
And did you exchange
A walk on part in a war
For a lead role in a cage? .....virtual monitoring successfully uploaded, consciousness
currently updating

How I wish, how I wish you were here .....localization routine complete
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl .....containment verified
Year after year .....time stamp comfirmed
Running over the same old ground ......optimizing course corrections
What have we found? ......updating data categories
The same old fears ......boasting Gherlin and Serotonin intakes
Wish you were here ......creating live uplink, holograms and neural real time
connections. YOU ARE NOW HERE.

Bra-vo...


"Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd

COINCIDENCE?

     Just a quick thought, but do you think the internet's ability to preserve much of what gets posted on it (and the ease with which such stuff can be copied and stored on other media for reposting anytime later) and the rise in anti-bullying groups is more than just a coincidence?

     Being bullied is never fun, regardless of its form or severity, even though it does teach you things about yourself, your attackers, humanity itself, the unfairness of life, futility, etc. But whether you were physically assaulted, openly ostracized, a convenient scapegoat, shunned, had your joys mocked, or merely ignored, it was safe to say that upon graduation from high school, you were given a new chance to start over. Hell, in college you just might meet several people who were bullied for the same reasons you were. Instant understanding friends! No guarantees of success of course: your brain chemistry now likely reflects some sort of trauma taking the form (and probably combination) of fear, vengeful envy, heartbroken silence, social awkwardness, comforting pride, simple hatred, worthlessness, or purposelessness, etc.

    The internet, however, is like permanent high school now and even though you've long since matured from previous naïvetés, the internet remembers.
     Photographs had to be taken with somewhat bulky cameras using actual film which then had to be developed. Not only that, but cameras weren't exactly something you could just carry around and plus the number of picture you could take were limited and instant sharing was not possible without a Polaroid camera. If you wanted to show someone an embarrassing photo of someone, you had to physically hand it to them and that person would have to hand it to someone else and so on and so forth. Sure, copying was possible, but that took time and money. Making fun of a person via a picture you've taken of them was difficult from both a logistical and economic perspective. Now we have digital photography and cellphones to not only take a picture that instant but can be shared hundreds of times essentially both instantly and at virtually no cost making any embarrassing outfit or antic effectively immortal.
     Your old poems? Notes given to girls/boys you liked? Fan-fiction writer were you? Evidence of prior phases you had gone through? You could throw them away, tear them to pieces...hell, even burn them and they'd be gone, existing only in your head and those heads whom you had shared them with. But these days, did you post it online? Are your uneducated opinions still available on some internet forum? Did you use the same e-mail for everything for a while so a simple Google search can lead a dedicated searcher to all sorts of goodies? How many websites have you signed up for that you've completely forgotten about? How many passwords have you forgotten? It's inescapable... I'm also sure you've never ever once forgotten to sign out of an account either.

     It makes me wonder...

WE ALL HAVE OUR JOHN CONNORS...

     If you remember the Terminator franchise (and seriously, if you don't, go the fuck away...like, now), the singular obsession of Skynet was the elimination of the human resistance leader John Connor. In the first film, it went after his mother to eliminate him before he had ever been born. In the second film, it went after him as a child, going after him when he would be vulnerable.
     As far as I am concerned, it ends there but since Terminator 3 exists as does Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, I'll point out that Skynet's mission in part 3 was to eliminate John Connor's lieutenants under the assumption that if you cannot get the main man, eliminate those who have helped him before they become important. In the Sarah Connor Chronicles, its missions become more varied like making sure equipment is in place and eliminating miscellaneous threats to its nascence.

     However, it was in this latter film and television show that a new concept was revealed in terminator programming: When the T-X accidentally encountered John Connor (who had been living "off the grid" for years in the timeline of this film) in a veterinarian's office, the T-X found its mission parameters immediately and irrevocably altered to terminating John Connor.
     This also happens (at least once in the aborted television) series when a terminator on a mission to eliminate someone else is distracted by John who (correctly) assumed that the machine would deviate from its mission to go after him. You see from the machine's point of view, its mission parameter changing to terminating John Connor.

Faced with Bedell's impending termination, John did the only thing he could: he diverted the machine's attention. "Hey! Look over here! It's me, Connor! John Connor!" With a Mission Priority Override, the Terminator abandoned Martin and raced after John.

      Basically, the termination of John Connor is every terminator's primary mission no matter what else they were assigned to do. In the film's universe, since Skynet did not anticipate being destroyed by a human resistance, it did not make any attempts to preserve records when it launched the United States's nuclear armaments against the U.S.S.R. (who in turn launched all of theirs through the concept of Mutually Assured Destruction). Skynet did not know much of John Connor's youth which is why its targeting is as imprecise as it is.
     In the first film, it only knew his mother's name and knew she lived in Los Angeles. This did not bode well for the two other Sarah Connors in the area. I'm not sure under which knowledge it operated for why it sent the T-1000 where (and when) it did in the second film. The third film only became about John Connor for the T-X once she accidentally encountered him otherwise it could have been a completely different film.

     Anyways, what's my point you ask?

     I think we all have our respective John Connors in our lives and I don't mean for termination, I mean that girl (or boy...whichever is appropriate for you) who is no longer in your life but if she were ever to (somehow) come back, you would drop everything to be with her no matter what or either that, the amount of resistance you would need to put up to avoid uprooting your life would be nothing short of Herculean.
     She's your one. She's The One.

     My The One is The First One: my crush from high school. She's not my first crush, but she was my most powerful one in high school and whose influence remained despite the passage of years. Only would Digby challenge her for dominance and she ultimately loses and I'll tell you why.

     The First One and Digby are opposites. The First One is that of light and Digby is that of darkness.

     Simply put, The First One inspired me. I created a coded alphabet to write about her. I created a language in order to have a new way to think about her. I named a made-up planet after her. I've used known information about her to make cheat codes and Easter Eggs in BASIC programs I've written. She inspired poetry from me. She remains the standard candle by which I judge beauty. She is the perfect fantasy...

I heavily manipulated my original 20 year old drawing in an attempt to make it look cooler

     Digby did not ultimately inspire me. She brought out the worst in me. She has no legacy. No poems; no BASIC cheat codes; no planets or moons named after her; she did not revive work on my language...nothing. She inspired only darkness like envy, pride, and wrath.

     I cannot imagine it ever happening, but if somehow someway The First One reappeared in my living life (as opposed to online via Facebook) and offered up a chance to date her, I seriously cannot calculate just how into someone else I would have to be to not immediately dump whom I'm with just for that chance. And I barely know anything about her. She is that powerful a fantasy. She is the one who started it all...my goal of goals.

     Don't tell me you don't have one yourself...

STEAL THIS IDEA, part XII

     Whenever asked what my superpower would be, I would answer (semi)jokingly in one of two ways: it would either be to know when I'm "half-tired" (so I'd know when to turn around and go home) or to be able to declare Mulligans on life.

     A Mulligan is a golf term for a do-over. Therefore, today's idea to be stolen is that of a superhero whose power is to undo the last few seconds to last few minutes of his life.

     I favor the teenager bestowed with this power to be able to manipulate it by either seconds or minutes, but no more. Let's say five minutes for the maximum (or some quirky, but relatable number to a temporal equation, if such a number exists). Basically I want it to be manipulatable for one reason: I have this vision of him during a montage asking out every girl in school to see who likes him and who doesn't.

      I'm sure this gimmick has been done before to some extent. It feels familiar like that Adam Sandler movie Click. I just want to see it in the superhero genre. It sounds like it has possibilities.

      You would have to figure out exactly what his power does like, is it universally applied? Does all of existence get undone except in his memory of his mulligan period? Is it simple time travel (simple, he says...)? Is it more a ranged thing like, let's say the Men in Black memory erasers (meaning anyone within sight of him is affected)? Are there people (arch-villain I suppose?) who are immune to the effect? And why? Does he continue to age despite the mulligans (meaning that if he overdoes it that he will eventually be noticeably older than he should be - a few seconds here and there add up over time)? Stuff to think about...

     One thing he definitely cannot do is repeatedly use the power to travel further back in time. I guess some limitations could be if he goes back thirty seconds, he cannot use his power again for thirty seconds (that is, until he's "caught up"). He also cannot go back to a period he mulliganed.
     Using the previous thirty second example:
     He's caught up to himself and ten seconds more have passed. He could mulligan back ten seconds, but he could not mulligan back even eleven because that would place him back in a period he had already mulliganed. Make sense? Perhaps it could be rationalized both as a limitation and a means for avoiding time paradoxes. These rules are reminding me vaguely of Time Cop now :-)
     Basically he has one chance to re-get it right. Sure he could stall and mulligan again later but those moments where he can't use his power could prove deadly.
     I can envision him getting into difficulties despite this ability like, let's say he's been within a sniper's scope for a minute and he mulligans back forty seconds for another reason. He'll still be in mortal danger so it's not like this power lends him effective immortality. He would have to use it smartly to wield it effectively. Something a teenager may not be prone to doing.
     If he has to have a sidekick, perhaps a complementarily powered hero who can see up to a few minutes into the future? Perhaps they meet because this person noticed the future didn't turn out the way he saw it (which shouldn't happen so long as he does not tell anyone what will happen) - it leads him to figure out (please don't call him this) Mulliganman's identity or something-or-other. Of course, such a person could also be a villain. I dunno.
     I would be open to him being able to go back further, like an hour or even a whole day. Given his inability to use his power for that entire period, it could lead to some interesting stories. Relive an entire day, but having to do it like a normal person and unable to reaffect anything that happens that day. Is he ultimately a coward without his power?

     Have I said enough to get the ball rolling?

DISCLAIMER: To anyone reading this, you are welcome to not only use, but claim this idea as your own without giving credit to me. I sometimes have ideas, but I do not have the skills needed to express them. It is more important to me to see these ideas done than to receive recognition for them. That being said, giving me a mention anyway would make me giddy. If this idea has in fact already been done, then I strongly suggest you not actually steal it (at least not without major revisions) :-)  

LINE OF THE DAY, part XXXII

From this article on Cracked "5 Inspiring True Stories for Anyone Feeling Cynical Today", there appeared this, by commenter Thunderous, in the comments section:

#5 is just perfect. Mister Rogers was perhaps the greatest person to walk this planet for hundreds of years- he was kind, gentle, humble and he loved everybody. And because I can't see his name without thinking of this story, I'd like to share what happened when he was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Emmy:

Mister Rogers went onstage to accept the award — and there, in front of all the soap opera stars and talk show sinceratrons, in front of all the jutting man-tanned jaws and jutting saltwater bosoms, he made his small bow and said into the microphone, "All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are. Ten seconds of silence."
And then he lifted his wrist, looked at the audience, looked at his watch, and said, "I'll watch the time." There was, at first, a small whoop from the crowd, a giddy, strangled hiccup of laughter, as people realized that he wasn't kidding, that Mister Rogers was not some convenient eunuch, but rather a man, an authority figure who actually expected them to do what he asked. And so they did. One second, two seconds, three seconds — and now the jaws clenched, and the bosoms heaved, and the mascara ran, and the tears fell upon the beglittered gathering like rain leaking down a crystal chandelier. And Mister Rogers finally looked up from his watch and said softly "May God be with you," to all his vanquished children

There was a follow-up comment (on a different comment) by commenter Cobra-D that I also liked about Mr. Rogers: "No, no [Mr. Roger]'s not [an ex-marine]. Just a saint among us heathens"


Mr. Roger's Neighborhood opening theme

LINE OF THE DAY, part XXXI

Courtesy of commenter Onslaught from this video on Cracked:

Yes but there are differences between women and men. That's just reality. There's differences between black culture and white culture. That's just reality. Yes you see black characters that have traits of black culture (traits? What do I mean by that? Think Obama replying with "nah we straight" when offered change by a shopkeeper) and it doesn't mean anything. It's not racist it's just reality. Why do we have to portray women as men and black people as white in order to not be sexist/racist? Do you not see the sexism/racism in that? Ah, whatever.

And in case it wasn't clear, that Obama example actually happened.

to which later s/he responded:

The stereotypes of males and females account for the majority of males and females. That's just being real. It's not like a small criminal element of the black community making all black people get labelled the same, these are actually pretty damn accurate. Can it even be called a stereotype when it fits the majority, if not all, of the group (the group in question being heterosexual males/females only)? Is it a stereotype to say the sky is blue? Is it a stereotype to say water is a liquid?

Sure, some straight women might fight these 'stereotypes' because they've been trained from birth to see femininity as weakness instead of having its own unique power but that's an active choice on their part and not indicative of how they really feel. Women ARE more emotional than men, for example. It's not a stereotype, it's not sexism, it's just fact.

I see this comment not so much as, "I agree with this wholeheartedly. End of conversation." but rather, as a jumping off point into a conversation/civil argument. One of the many topics which falls into the things we're "not supposed to talk about."

STEAL THIS IDEA, part XI

     I've played several fighting games before and one thing they all have in common is a timer. Each round/match has a time limit. If you don't knock out/kill your opponent before the timer runs out, then the winner goes to the one with the most energy/life remaining. That's fine and all, but what bugs me is that this rule also applies to the final fight.

Timed out? I guess my dreams of conquest are over...

     That guy, Zankuro, a demon samurai warrior, will permit you to defeat him simply because sixty seconds have elapsed. How honorable...but also, how stupid. He's the BAD guy, right? M. Bison, who is trying to take over the world and Shao Kahn, who is trying to rule two dimensions, also possess this bizarre honor code. I could see maybe the non-decisive rounds being able to end by time out. After all, that's how the game's been played up until this point. It would make sense. Even the sub-bosses leading up to the final fight would be fine. After all, we can assume that they were "dealt with" by their leader for their failure.

Is M. Bison making a jerking off gesture?

     But what if, in a decisive round, when the timer elapses...the game continues?

     Believe me, when you get to these rounds, they're tense. Victory against these brutes can only come from both a patient offense and an especially patient defense, but sometimes it's not enough and the timer is your only ally. Your stress builds up; you're ultra-tense watching in your peripheral vision the timer. Five... Four... Three... Two... One... and because  you're ahead, you breathe a sigh of relief. It feels like a cheap victory, but it was a victory nonetheless. At that moment, you relax the controls and loosen up.

     Now imagine the game continuing. Maybe the boss taunts you if he speaks or simply laughs as the game continues and he (almost certainly) beats your ass into next week perhaps even with a super-duper special move he was saving for just such an emergency.

Is that your best?

     It would be awesome, and (for the first time at least) you'd never see it coming.

DISCLAIMER: To anyone reading this, you are welcome to not only use, but claim this idea as your own without giving credit to me. I sometimes have ideas, but I do not have the skills needed to express them. It is more important to me to see these ideas done than to receive recognition for them. That being said, giving me a mention anyway would make me giddy. If this idea has in fact already been done, then I strongly suggest you not actually steal it (at least not without major revisions) :-) 

PERMAPUPPIES AND EVERKITTENS

     I wonder if scientists ever will one day engineer dogs and cats which never grow out of their juvenile forms?

     My guess is that they would be lab creations which would be implanted into normal dogs and cats. They would be birthed and just live out their lives in their adorable awkward forms.
     I'm certain there would be moral/ethical objections, but I really can't see there not being a market for such creatures. Perhaps more so with dogs since certain breeds grow a lot more than cats ever do. I think of the difference between my Uncle's golden retriever as a little puppy and this giant hunk of muscle it has since become as a good example.

     This concept could also extend to chickens and ducks which have such adorable juvenile forms but grow up all too fast.

     I guess this could also count as a STEAL THIS IDEA to be used in a movie taking place in the future. Why not?

Try not to love them. Go ahead. I'll wait...

A LITTLE ADVICE...

     It really bugs me when people keep only $100 bills hidden somewhere for use as emergency cash. The truly paranoid do something similar by buying up one ounce silver and gold bullion coins. But here's the thing that gets me, say the economic disaster you swear's gonna happen actually happens. How do you go about buying things?

     Unless you're buying shit $100 at a time, you could find yourself in a spot where you need something desperately but the seller cannot make change. It's either accept it for a hundred bucks or not at all. You may be stuck overpaying.
     The same applies to the silver and gold holders too. One ounce of silver is currently around $30 per troy ounce (31.1035 grams) and an ounce of gold is hovering around $1700 per troy ounce. The silver might not be too big a deal, but the gold? When was the last time you spent at least $1700 on anything that wasn't a car or house?
     Gold's not really helpful unless you're buying big stuff. So what of all your minor purchases? Day-to-day stuff that will surely come up in the new apocalyptic order. Fees, taxes...protection money, etc.

     How about this? You actually keep an assortment of bills on hand so when a natural disaster strikes, you're not being that asshole using a one hundred dollar bill to pay for fifteen bucks worth of stuff. Know what, and more importantly, HOW, you buy.

     I don't carry bills over $20 in my wallet and I find even $20s can be a bit much. You know why? Because I rarely make purchases large enough at one time to require the use of a $50 or $100 bill but yes, when planning such a purchase, I will keep a fifty or hundred on hand. Otherwise I don't like being the dick making small purchases with large bills.
     And don't give the "It's legal tender!" bullshit argument. All that means is that the piece of paper you're holding is that denomination in dollars, nothing more. The only requirement is that a fifty dollar bill has to be accepted as fifty dollars (the same is true for the old silver money - a silver dime and a clad dime are both ten cents in terms of legal tender laws, but because the silver is worth more than ten cents, no one in their right mind spends them like clad dimes). There is no requirement that I (nor anyone) must accept your form of payment. Stores only put up with your shit generally because they don't want to create antagonistic relationships with their customers but speaking as a cashier, I fucking hate you when you tender sixty one dollar bills in your payment or use a $100 bill to buy less than five dollars worth of stuff. "Sorry, it's all I've got..."

     Go fuck yourself...

     And as for you silver and gold freaks, buy smaller coins for your apocalypse. I don't anticipate one happening ever, but should it, I have a handful of silver dimes, quarters, and half dollars which will take me a lot further than your oversized silver and gold "eagles".
     And if you want proof that having only big stuff can cause you a problem, I point you to Indonesia.

Due to the limited printing capacity of the government, it focused printing on 100 rupiah notes. Limited supply of smaller notes meant that the 100 rupiah notes were worth less than a combination of smaller notes.

     Supply and demand. Supply and demand. If you focus too much on the big stuff, the guys with the little stuff will ultimately benefit while you overpay.

STEAL THIS IDEA, part X

     This is kind of like a twist on It's a Wonderful Life. I was thinking of a film where the protagonist is suicidal. Since it would be dramatic, he is saved moments before he would die from a self-inflicted wound by a mysterious person who takes it upon him/herself to convince the protagonist that life is worth living. The course of the movie could have the protagonist introduced to people this person associates with.

     I don't want the reason for this guy's desire to suicide to be known: it's not important at first. It's just a jumping off point. He just believes he needs to die because he is sinful and a bad man. The advertising goal of the film should be to make it like a redemption drama; a feel-good film if you will. The kind of film which would restore your faith in humanity.

     However, I want a sense of uneasiness about the protagonist...that something isn't quite right about him. It could be played off as parts of his past that we the audience would forgive because the protagonist is a better person now (let's say) or genuinely sorry. I want there to be an uneasiness about why these people are helping him. Nothing obvious. No creepy organizations or outfits. They should be like regular psychiatrists doing their jobs and doing their jobs properly and competently, although perhaps they emphasize the spiritual a bit more often than a professional psychiatrist ever would.

     As for the twist, I want the person whose life is saved to actually be a very bad person, or rather, someone who will become a very bad person. Say it's a time-travel adventure in disguise. We learn the protagonist is being driven to suicide during the film by people coming back to make sure this person never lives long enough to do harm (make it like it has to be suicide or else someone will take the protagonist's place - maybe s/he has followers/believers already?) and that the people who save him/her and perhaps also fight the ones who had driven him/her to suicide (action flick?) be people on the protagonist's side.

     I just want the audience being tricked into rooting for the wrong people. Subtle clues throughout (the kind you would miss or overlook on a first viewing) can give away that this is a person not worth saving.

DISCLAIMER: To anyone reading this, you are welcome to not only use, but claim this idea as your own without giving credit to me. I sometimes have ideas, but I do not have the skills needed to express them. It is more important to me to see these ideas done than to receive recognition for them. That being said, giving me a mention anyway would make me giddy. If this idea has in fact already been done, then I strongly suggest you not actually steal it (at least not without major revisions) :-) 

OVERTHINKING THINGS THEATER PRESENTS...

     I hope this is the first of many such entries. I can see the potential here :-)

     There's this new show out called Monsters High. I don't watch it but I've become aware of it because my store sells the dolls associated with the show. I'm guessing it's the typical tween drama stuff set in high school but they're monsters because that's popular right now. Just some creepy things I've noticed because I'm easily bored and rarely accept what I'm told at face value.

     I've wondered about their origins. They're all daughters of various famous movie monsters (like Dracula, the Werewolf, the Mummy, etc.), often with punny names like Draculaura and Frankie Stein (let your horrid curiosity get the best of you and read the rest of the names here --- also just noticed there are some boys in this school thanks to this link but my next point still applies) but the thing is, they all look the same age so it had me wondering just what the fuck (probably not a pun) happened in the lives (unlives?) of their fathers?

[TRIGGER WARNING - after the jump is a quick reference to sexual assault, albeit done with absurdity in mind; your call]

THOUGHTS I NORMALLY KEEP IN MY HEAD, part XVIII

      One of those thoughts I've been having. I've been meaning to write about it for a while but I've been lazy and avoiding things which once brought joy to me so yeah...here we are. This is a simpler version of my original thought. Perhaps I'll get around to that one some other day. Wow, has October seen a dearth of posts!

     Gresham's Law, simply stated, is "Bad money drives out good if their exchange rate is set by law."

     It makes me wonder about the rising use of credit and debit cards. Those cards and things like PayPal are not cash: they're what I like to call "electronic currency". It's digital money that "circulates" with the same value as our cash money and by law, they exchange at a one-to-one rate. So...am I right in thinking that electronic currency is the bad money driving out the good money (cash)?
     It's not a rapid withdrawal, but electronic currency is making gains in transactions with each passing year. It is sold to the public by banks as a more convenient, hassle-free way of spending money not that I ever saw the hassle in using cash. As a cashier, cash transactions tend to be noticeably faster (except in those cases where the customer decides that right then and now is a time to go on a fishing expedition - always when there's a line too - through their wallet/purse for exact change. How about while I'm scanning your shit, you take some coins out and put them in your pocket for quick retrieval later?) And I know I can't be the only one who gets suspicious when money institutions want to put a layer between me and my money, and electronic currency [credit money] is definitely a way this is done.

     Do I use credit money? Yes. Why shouldn't I? I have ample supplies of cash on hand and as Gresham's Law points out, I have every incentive to use the most debased currency in my transactions when going about my business. But I do wonder about the long-term consequences of forcing cash and credit money to have the same values...

LINE OF THE DAY, part XXX

I saw this in the comments section of a recent Cracked article by commenter cardboardextra:

I like using notepad to make my drafts, because MS freezes up and autocorrect when I don't want it to. So the version of MS doc I release is the one I want seen, the only thing change is the format.

Prankster Protip:

Tools ->Autocorrect Options: Autocorrect Tab

Replace: With:

Here is where, if you have a co-worker who type in chat speak, you can help them by setting the autocorrect to automatically Replace: bbiaw With: Be back in a while. Replace: " u " With: you, etc etc.

Or if you are evil or pissed off, Replace: regularly used words and phrases With: something really rude. ...and if you are really evil, replace inevitably but irregularly used words...so that the typist wouldn't catch onto the switch easily. Having frequently used words like "but" replaced with "butt" or "ass" will annoy the typist, but if it's just one word or phase they might miss it and send it out...

Just go ahead and set autocorrect to replace all use of "Synergy" with "Sodomy"

to which he later added a Google search result:

googling corporate team building synergy:

Creating Team Sodomy
Have you ever witnessed a wining sports team or a well-rehearsed orchestra and then felt the commitment and energy the team demonstrated? What you saw was more than just teamwork – it was team sodomy, a phenomenon that occurs when a team achieves greater results than the sum of its parts. Using learning instruments, hands-on activities, and an interactive team simulation, teams gain a clearer sense of direction, clarify roles and responsibilities, improve operating processes and bolster both interpersonal and interteam relationships.
Printable Version - To print a one page description of this course.
Program Length: One Day
Major Topics:
• Stages of Team Effectiveness
• Challenges to Sodomy
• Mission, Vision and Goals
• Team Roles
• Operating Processes
• Interpersonal Relationships
• Interteam Relationships
Benefits To The Organization:
• Clearly identify the team’s goal and purpose
• Target specific methods for maximizing the productivity of a unique team
• Build a stronger relationship with each team member to enhance sodomy and contribution
• Increase the team’s productivity overall
Benefits To The Individual:
• Understand the stages of team effectiveness
• Pinpoint the team’s current level of development
• Recognize and eliminate the blockages to maximum performance
• Define a criteria for meaningful mission, vision and goal statements
• Identify team member communication styles
• Capitalize on team members’ communication similarities and differences
• Determine ways to strengthen relationships with outside groups and teams
Participant Comments
"Excellent program, very helpful in showing our team where we needed to improve and how we could work together better. Thank you."
"I really enjoyed this! It far surpassed my expectations of the day."
"I had fun and got to know my team members better".
"As the Team Leader, I am really glad we did this. It made a big difference. Great Job!"

It's just one of those beautiful things that makes me both giggle and realize I have not grown up at all.

INTERESTING...

     I saw this post on Facebook not too long ago. I'm well aware of the faulty reasoning contained therein, but nevertheless, it remains an interesting thought:

I never got why people would kill themselves.

So if you want to die you obviously don't give a shit about anyone. Because if there is anyone who loves you, you don't give a FUCK about them, or hurting them, and if there's not, then there's no one to give a shit about.

So instead of killing yourself why don't you get
the fuck out? Leave the basement, leave your house, leave your motherfucking country. Go on an adventure. Spend your time doing something awesome, like tracking down some terrorist. Go be James Bond. Go fuck up a shark with a harpoon. Danger? Fuck that, you were going up against a 100% death rate before, you're being safe now. Fuck EVERYTHING, man, the world is your oyster.

Sometimes I wish I was suicidal, I'd pull the barrel out of my mouth, point it in the air, and start a revolution. LIVE. Move to Barcelona, hit the bars, bang some chicks.

And then when I'm done, maybe I wouldn't want to kill myself, because I've seen how beautiful this world is.

tl;dr GO FUCKING DO SOMETHING!

ADDENDUM: A follow-up post from this user on Facebook had this to say:

Amanda Todd

Ok, well let's just get this all out of the way so you all can stop your bitching about this dead girl. A lot of what is posted in her video and on her page is fabricated to make her look like she was an angel. Think again.

1. She was 15 years old when she flashed those guys.
2. She did it out of her own free will. She CHOSE to do it.
3. She already flirted with many guys before.
4. She got 'beat' up at school not because of the picture, but because she slept with another girl's boyfriend. (refer to #1)
5. The guy 'bullied' her once only about 6-8 months after she flashed online. Not multiple times over 2 years.
6. She was known to have slept with multiple men and to sell herself out.
7. Her home life wasn't the best. (family troubles)

You people who are giving her sympathy and pity should all be ashamed of yourselves. Instead of giving pity to a girl who already committed suicide, how about you talk to that lonely kid at lunch? Yea, the one who sits all alone in the corner. But no, you'd rather sit with your friends and then come home and get on facebook and say shit like 'Oh, how come no one helped poor Amanda, she's so pretty, why did she have to die'. FUCK YOU! Go crawl back in your shell of safety while the ones who really need help are only an arms length away.

We should be talking about the ones who were bullied and managed to survive through it all. The success stories. Because that's what gives kids hope, the ones who know what it's like to be in their shoes. The ones who have walked that road before and came out ok.

What kind of message does it send to impressionable teens that if you go ahead and kill yourself that you will get thousands of likes on a facebook page and everyone will feel sorry for you and give you attention? If you have any self respect for the future then you'd stop and think about where your morals are. If you're too confused with your emotions and common sense, then just get off the internet entirely. No one wants to read your idiotic comments and your emotion filled rage tantrums.

tl;dr Stop giving pity to a dead girl. Give it to the ones who deserve it.

Again, not saying it is a valid point nor am I attesting to the veracity of the statements above about Amanda Todd's personal life...just another interesting point and yes, as a kid left to sit alone and be friendless in the days before online was a big deal and social-networking was just a dream (assuming anyone was even having that dream) and when cellphones were for rich douches...yeah, talk to that kid. Be a fucking friend instead of a fucking douchebag. And yeah, what about the survivors of bullying? If I was bullied at all, it was through ostracism. I'm not much of an inspiration. My Best Friend had it worse as did my former roommate who came out at a time when that still was a difficult thing to do and he was made to suffer for it rather than be praised.

I don't know. I have to go to bed. Maybe I'll amend this thought later. For now...just pause, and consider.

SOMETHING SOMETHING POST...

     Wow, I haven't posted for a while. It's certainly not for a want of things to write about. I'm just not doing it. A symptom of depression? I don't feel depressed but I guess that doesn't mean I'm not.

     It's strange. I have free time, roughly the same amount of time I've had since starting this blog, yet I feel like nothing is getting done in my life. I've cut things out of my life, like Opie and Anthony, which were great consumers of my free time yet I did more then. It's like what once took me a minute to do is now taking two minutes. My "work" has expanded to fill the time allotted to complete it and perhaps beyond the allotted time. Is it because we have a MUZAK player at work that I've been listening to far less music at home? I used to watch all my weekly recorded television during the week I had recorded it. I did a Babylon 5 rewatch for two months this year and while that created a backlog of television on my DVR, I had a backlog before that point, and I watch less TV now than I did when I started this blog. I also have a bunch of movies, some more than a year old on my DVR still unwatched not to mention DVDs which were purchased that are still in their packaging.

     While having a girlfriend, yes, is technically taking up some of my time, Costello is not taking up that much of it, so I don't know. Is this one of those sea changes in my life? Things sorting themselves out and resettling into a new paradigm? I'm still thinking it's a quiet depression because I want to do things but I'm just not finding the motivation to get any of it started let alone done. I've been wanting to try my hand at drawing again - I haven't done so with any seriousness since 2000 so yeah, it's been a long time. I've wanted to try making a drawing which would be suitable for a Facebook cover photo but not only have I not done so, I haven't even touched one of my drawing pencils. I remember just wanting to color again but could not find any coloring books that weren't about fucking cartoon characters. I just wanted nature scenes or even cityscapes and to buy me one of those Crayola 64 color crayon boxes and have at it. Mom got me a colored pencil kit and some pictures to color in. I don't remember what year it was but I had the boxes before I moved out in 2008. They're still there...unused. I want to color them, but I haven't done so.

     Maybe it's money? It's been tight since living on my own. I'm pulling a profit but not enough of a one to justify buying more than necessities and to treat myself once-monthly to Chinese takeout. I've been using my Income Tax refunds to buy fun things but the things I like are expensive so that money got used up pretty fast. I want to save at least 10% of my income annually. So far this year I seem on track to do just that, but that means I won't have any extra for spending on myself. That in of itself is depressing. It would be nice to just be able to get stuff. It makes me angry at my last roommate because I was finally at a place in my life where I could afford to start buying stuff for myself again whether frivolous or to grow my coin collection, and I did start too - first time in three years - and it felt nice...like I had surmounted a hurdle, and then my roommate loses his job and decided that having one wasn't all that necessary throwing my life back into a chaos. I've been living in this apartment long enough now where I can start seeing year over year expenses and they're not good. I don't have a lot of leftover cash and most, if not all, of that is already set aside for retirement savings or gets eaten up by inflation.

     I feel my thoughts wandering on various subjects...at least my mind is still active. At this point, I'm not even sure if I want a girlfriend but I'm not acting on it because she's still new and that has been my modus operandi all my life: opposition to change until the change becomes normal and then changes to that become opposed. It's like my Dad would tell me: when I was young, I didn't want to go to the beach. I would complain the whole way there, but once we got there and I found things to do, I didn't want to leave. Yes, I was a jerky kid :-)
     But I asked myself, if this does not work out with Costello, then what? And as of now, I feel like I would not try for another girlfriend. I feel like I've gotten what I had wanted and that it would be enough. I could live my life no longer wondering.

     Like I said, I'm probably going through another depression or I'm being that jerk-ass kid again and soon everything will be "normal" again...

STEAL THIS IDEA, part X

     Quick one. Every time I pass by mirrors arranged so that you get the Hall of Mirrors Effect, I have the same idea for a science-fiction tale à la The Twilight Zone.

     When you stand between two such mirrors, you see yourself reflected over and over again apparently to infinity, but not actually infinity because you are blocking that exact point. Even if your head were the size of an electron, you still couldn't see the technical infinity point. It's impossible, thus the crux of the story.

     What if the protagonist found a way to see the infinity point either by design or by accident? What would he see? What would he learn? What would be the consequence? This feels like a tale H.P. Lovecraft might write and I really cannot see anything other than some Lovecraftian horror awaiting anyone who dared to peer into the infinite.

      What awaits such a man? Monsters? Madness? An unforeseen world? A glimpse into the future? A glimpse into the mind of God? Who knows? I'll leave it to your imagination.

     I see this tale being an allegory to drug addiction. Like you're only "allowed" one look, but it is so intoxicating (or whatever), that you will spend the rest of your life chasing it, trying to see it again just like how it is said that your first high is the best and you spend the rest of your night chasing that original high but you can never reach it again. Does the protagonist drive himself mad trying to do so? Does he die in the attempt? Does anyone believe him or what he thinks he has found?

     I kinda see the story ending with the man dead, but with a relieved look on his face. Yeah, he found what he was looking for alright...but it cost him.

DISCLAIMER: To anyone reading this, you are welcome to not only use, but claim this idea as your own without giving credit to me. I sometimes have ideas, but I do not have the skills needed to express them. It is more important to me to see these ideas done than to receive recognition for them. That being said, giving me a mention anyway would make me giddy. If this idea has in fact already been done, then I strongly suggest you not actually steal it (at least not without major revisions) :-) 

Today is NEWSCASTERS PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT VICTIMS AND THEIR FAMILIES Day...

     We have taken our pound of flesh for the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks. It is enough. Time to move on as a nation and get on with rebuilding all those things we have been neglecting as a result of our prolonged response to those terrorist attacks. We are well past the time to be moving money set aside for revenge and destruction and using it instead to rebuild our roads, our schools, our water pipes, our electrical grid, etc. etc. etc. etc.

     September 11th has become this national day of mourning and it offends me. Unless you personally knew someone who died that day as a result of the attacks, today is not about you. You experienced a nexus in history...congratulations...but it's not about you. Your life was not affected, so live it instead.
     But that doesn't matter because ghoulish engines have been built and continue to churn out these prepackaged 9/11-themed sorrowful human interest stories for the public to consume. The news programs play somber versions of their regular themes too, just like the Brady Bunch. And the newscasters themselves wear their sad faces when reading from the teleprompter. The girls who were hired to be big-titted, attractive stage props are made to dress like they're going to a funeral. And of course the endless jingoistic photo montages of American flags, the still-standing Twin Towers made to look majestic, sad-looking people, bald eagles, heavenly blue skies, and don't forget the firemen hoisting the flag shot and the "cross of steel" too because for some reason, miracle! Each news organization quietly competes to get the most talked about montage because why not, it's not like Nielson ratings, Cume, shares, AQH, and TSL take the day off when it's a bad-memory day for the United States. Money, money, money!
     By now, the references to the attack itself are oblique at best. Maybe one picture of the actual attacks and even then, it's a safe one before getting back to the people aspect of it, rather than the political part and the military response. They don't want to stoke any latent anger in the American public anymore and I'm fine with that overall, but not the way the newsmedia goes about it. And then of course, the next day, it's all back to normal: playful banter between hosts and wacky stories and cleavage galore from the hot weather girl...just like yesterday never happened.

PICTURED: not September 11th

STEAL THIS IDEA, part IX

     Costello showed me the film, "House of a 1000 Corpses" the other day and while I cannot say I liked the film, that's not the point of this entry. What I couldn't help but notice was that while the two guys seemed very interested in what they were doing (investigated strange attractions across the country), the girls really could not be bothered.
     Now, being a horror/slasher film, these good times inevitably turn sour and our may-as-well-be-nameless characters get caught up in a terrifying experience from which none of them will escape. No, I'm not giving a SPOILER ALERT for a ten year old film. Now while it is entirely fair to say these characters were doomed from the moment they picked up Baby, who was hitchhiking in the rain, I'm not really so sure.
     Evidence that they were doomed anyway comes from the five abducted cheerleaders mentioned offhandedly by a news anchor earlier in the film. Cutaways in between scenes show them being tortured and killed all the while these kids are downstairs eating dinner and holding conversation with the rest of the weird family while Baby's brother fixes their car (he also caused their car to break down in the first place by shooting out the tire). So yes, they may have been doomed no matter what.
     However, it does all seem fun and games (at least for the non-cheerleader guests in this house), but each of the two girls were really annoyed by this experience. Denise, just scoffed at everything and Mary grew quite jealous when Baby seemed to be putting moves on her boyfriend during a performance she was doing of a Betty Boop song. At that point, when threatened, Baby pulls a knife on Mary threatening to cut her and blah, blah, blah tension raised. Their car was fixed and they were asked to leave by the mother. They do so, and are again ambushed by the other brothers and the torture-fest begins for all.

     But what had me wondering is, what if the girls were appreciative like the guys were? Or what if they simply hadn't come? Would they have been allowed to leave the house unscathed? Yes, that would have made for a pointless film...not that the actual film was any less pointless.
 
      Anyways, what I had in mind was making a DVD extra in which the characters are spared. This would take some planning. I'm using House of 1000 Corpses as an example because the girls' reactions seem to be what gets the action moving. Imagine if they weren't there? Done properly, only a few alternate takes would be needed and you could drop a line early on in the film where the guys complain that they should have left the girls at home (something to which the girls can agree).
      Activate the DVD extra, and the girls stay home (perhaps seen in a cutaway phone call wishing they could have come or some other bullshit), the guys end up at the same place, but they have a good time, the car gets fixed and they go off on their way. Fade to credits (this would be a much shorter film). It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure book and it could still end creepily like one of the guys thinking he's seeing a cheerleader being dragged to a shed or pleading from a window or them simply happening across part of a cheerleader's uniform.

      In summation, write a horror film where it is clear one character gets the horror ball rolling and if that one character weren't present, everything would have turned out just fine. Write the film so that character can be neatly cut out of it using a minimum of alternate takes and alternate dialog since I'm guessing the budget will not be high. I imagine that is where storyboarding comes to the rescue.
      Anyways, that's my stupid idea. Take it from me. Get it out of my head...

DISCLAIMER: To anyone reading this, you are welcome to not only use, but claim this idea as your own without giving credit to me. I sometimes have ideas, but I do not have the skills needed to express them. It is more important to me to see these ideas done than to receive recognition for them. That being said, giving me a mention anyway would make me giddy. If this idea has in fact already been done, then I strongly suggest you not actually steal it (at least not without major revisions) :-) 

LINE OF THE DAY, part XXIX

From this article on Cracked by commenter Al-literati-on:

It is ironic that [Andrew] Wakefield and most of the people who agree with him (i.e. mostly middle-to-upper-class post-WW2 kids born into the most cushy period of Western-Hemisphere society) are likely only alive because they got vaccinated as part of the health revolutions that were sweeping the globe throughout that period. It's so sadly fitting that a man who grew up not having to know what it meant to live under the threat of polio, measles and rubella (amongst others) would be the one to turn around and shit all over humanity for the sake of gratification and self-interest.

Meanwhile he and his kind are viruses, agents of ignorance, attracting like magnets the fringes of society who want nothing more than to fervently believe that every establishment is a conspiracy against their own well-being. The type of person for whom it is easier to believe that the world is one elaborate targeted persecution, than the notion that a concept like human medicine could actually exist on the back of true altruism and the desire to help people.

The ignorant stay ignorant and spread ignorance. The sick stay sick and spread sickness. All because of people like Andrew Wakefield, the sort of huckster with conflict of interest running out the ear, who would run a dodgy trial with a sample size of 12 and dare publish it as a comprehensive medical study. Rogues like him are what destroy medicine and science as institutions. The final layer of irony is that it is precisely because of people like Wakefield that we probably can't 100% trust the medical system.

This, ladies and gents, is how you scientifically define a "clusterfuck".

I AM A MEMBER OF THE BULL-MOOSE PARTY

     Probably the biggest reason I could never vote Republican is the disconnect they display when it comes to their (alleged) Christian convictions and their rabid support for individualism, especially when it comes to businesses.

     Okay, I'll admit, I am a lapsed Catholic at best, but that doesn't mean I have lost that sense of "we're all in this together" mentality that came with those Christian values which were imparted on me in my youth. I have lost some of it. I have become more selfish with my giving. I tend to limit what I do give, emotionally and especially financially, to those whom I love, care about, or at least could conceivably benefit from if I were to aid them. It is rare that I give without any of these concerns. My annual donations are typically limited to the DAV, breast cancer research, and at least $20 to the Salvation Army each year around Christmas (or if I don't encounter them, a Toys for Tots campaign will do just nicely). If I were wealthier I would certainly do more as I only need so much to live on even after an increase in lifestyle is considered in this equation. I'll admit I feel bad that I'm on the poorer end of the spectrum when considering these things.

     The point I'm making is that what feels like everything I remember from my Sunday School classes and those times I did attend Mass even semi-regularly in my youth, the lessons offered were that of charity, duty, and obligation to others. This idea that it's not just about me. The story of the widow's mite comes to mind. I suppose that's what tithing was all about. We each alone cannot attend to all the duties asked of us to and for our fellow men, but others are dedicated to these tasks and we can help them considerably through donation. If we cannot do the work ourselves, then let the money which represents value from work done, serve in our stead.
      Yet, the Republican creed centers on individualism and inherent in individualism is selfishness. The Social Darwinistic idea that the poor are so not by circumstance (or even by design) but by their own actions; that the sick should not rely on handouts, especially government handouts, to aid in their convalescence but instead should pay for it themselves and if they can't, well...that's not our problem now is it?; that we are entitled to that which we earn and are equally entitled to not have to contribute unwillingly via taxation to public functions though the military tends to get a huge pass on this one.
     The Republicans put forth this notion that we are in it for ourselves...kind of the opposite of e pluribus unum (more like ex uno unum?) and wear it like a badge of honor; as a symbol of a proud American. Now I understand the history of this nation is full of proud rugged individuals but I don't recall them ever acting alone or believing that they alone were responsible for their successes. They seemed to understand that their successes were built on the work of others. However, how does this ideology jibe with the Christianity they so brazenly wear on their sleeves?

      These are the same people who will shout out loudly when the idols of their faith are threatened. Some Presidential Dollars failed to get their edge inscriptions? Must be a plot to remove God from our money. We need "In God We Trust" on our currency to distinguish ourselves from the Godless Communists! We need an affirmation of our faith in the Lord on our coins lest history judge us a heathen nation. We need the Ten Commandments openly displayed as they are the source of our laws and the moral foundation upon which we have built our society!
     It gets ridiculous because when faced with actual things Jesus would have done like helping the poor, comforting the sick, and working together for the betterment of all, they rise up practically in arms to shout down foodstamps, welfare, universal health care, housing assistance, job retraining programs, unemployment insurance, WIC, addiction recovery programs, battered women's shelters, etc. etc. etc. No, let's fuck over the poor, our greatest obligation as Christians, because we believe that the government needs to get out of our lives all the while not setting up alternative, non-governmental programs to assist these people.
     They want smaller government; a government which does not interfere with their lives...except for when it comes to abortion and preventing the spread of contraception/sex education. Then we need government assistance!

     That's actually one thing I've never understood about faith. Why do people feel the need to forcibly save others? Is that actually a mandate explicitly stated in the Bible? I say this also in light of their desire to be rugged individuals. I have thought that while we are obligated to help one and other, our responsibility and faithfulness to the Lord is our own burden. It may take a village to care for one and other on Earth, but our path to the rewards of Heaven was meant to be a lonely one, or at least one between the individual and God. Perhaps I have been wrong? Then again, I have been guilty of apostasy since the early 1990s so what do I know? :-)
     But they say they want the government out of their lives but are perfectly content to use it to impose upon others their twisted views of their faith in an effort to spare others temptation. How can one say they are able to remain faithful and resist temptation if they do not allow temptation to exist and move freely among them?
     If pornography is wrong (for the sake of argument), how does eliminating it make one less of a sinner? If you are not supposed to view pornography as a part of your religious beliefs, how can you know if you are truly worthy if you have never had to resist its temptation? Only by having it around you can you know if you are truly worthy of your faith and more importantly, know if you are capable of resisting its temptations. Same for any other aberrant behaviors/lifestyles.


Crusade: The MOST Holy...
     This brings me around to businesses, the other big position of the Republican party. They are very cozy with big business and despite being a religious party, they expect no moral and/or ethical behavior from the businesses they support. The more businesses parasitically fuck over the communities which helped them grow strong and wealthy, the more adored they are. Businesses, despite being legal persons in the eyes of the law, are not expected to behave like their living counterparts. In fact that kind of behavior is frowned upon the cutthroat game of capitalism.
      It's not that businesses have to behave this way: it is certainly not a congenital property. We've allowed them to become this way and I have a very hard time supporting a party which espouses Christian values while supporting the very opposite kinds of behavior in the businesses they allow to generously fund their campaigns.

     Why is it wrong to expect a business to support the community which helped it grow? Why is it wrong to suggest that businesses have an obligation to enable the people they employ to enjoy fruitful and productive lives? Why is it wrong to suggest that businesses (and people and communities too) need to be stewards of their environments; that it is not all about now and us, but about the future and those yet to come as well? Why would any party of God be so eager to support the kinds of unethical and decidedly un-Christian behaviors which made the heads of our wealthiest corporations (and even the not-so-wealthy ones)?

     I'm not saying the Democrats are any better, but what I am saying is that the hypocrisy of the Republican party glares as brightly as the sun. I cannot vote for them so long as their platforms are so incongruent. And of course, their obvious abiding hatred for women...

JUST SO STUPID IT MIGHT WORK?

     With all the talk about Global Warming, I find myself thinking back to the old simulation game by Maxis called "SimEarth". Two of the eight scenarios in the game had you terraforming the planets Venus and Mars.

     Venus and Mars have their own problems for terraforming: Venus is too hot and has an extremely dense atmosphere compared to Earth. Its surface temperature averages 900°F and the atmosphere exerts ninety times the pressure at the surface than does Earth. Its atmospheric pressure is roughly the equivalent of being about a half mile underwater and breezes would feel more like rushing water than air against your body (we are working on the assumption that you would not immediately die upon exposure to this of course!).
     Mars has the opposite problem: it is too cold and it possesses a rarified atmosphere compared to Earth. Its average surface temperature is -67°F (whereas for Earth, the average surface temperature is about 60°F) and the atmospheric pressure at the surface is about 1/100th that of Earth's.

     The means for terraforming these worlds were objects called "oxygenators" (for converting CO₂ into O₂ and thus creating a cooling effect), "vaporators" (for releasing H₂0 into the air to moisten the world and raise the overall temperature), "N₂ generators" (to release inert nitrogen into the atmosphere in order to build up atmospheric pressure), and "CO₂ generators" (to release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and thus warming the planet).
      What had me wondering was, "Were these carbon dioxide and oxygen generators entirely fictional?" Plants and animals do it all the time via photosynthesis and respiration so it can't be impossible. The question is can it be done effectively? That is, without further warming the planet?

      Now I'm thinking for Earth and its recent accumulations of carbon dioxide and methane which accelerate global warming trends. Could machines or more precisely, factories, be created all over the world (I'm assuming in desert climes where there's ample sunlight to power these factories and few people to interfere with their operations) to draw these greenhouse gases out of the atmosphere and replace them with oxygen and water? And could the carbon resulting from this be converted into bicarbonate rock (the stuff of seashells)? And could they draw out the "bad" gases faster than we can generate them?

      If powered by solar, nuclear, or wind energy, they would not create greenhouse gases themselves. It sounds ridiculous, but I wonder...

FINANCE MAKES NO SENSE TO ME...

     My credit rating took a serious hit two days ago...well, actually it started over 150 days ago but I only found out about it the other day from American Express. Today, Discover got in on the act and I fully expect a letter from Mastercard any time next week. My credit limits are being gutted. I didn't have much to begin with, but I suspect I will be down 70% from where I was starting next week all because I tried helping someone in need.

      I don't dispute the debt. It's real. I took it on as a cosigner so I have to bear the consequences. I am mad that this creditor made zero attempts to contact me when the primary account holder went into delinquency because, correct me if I'm wrong, but if you're owed money and more than one person is responsible for it legally and the first person stops paying for any reason, you would go after the other guy, right?
      Apparently not. This account was allowed to go into major delinquency and it appears the creditor has written it off. They've also reported my friend's address as one of my own to all three of the credit reporting bureaus giving me more work to do.

     Now my friend did not screw me over. I know that's the first thought you're likely having and I don't fault you for it. No, the best as he could determine was that his autopayments had been hijacked and since the hijacker did not change the amount of the payment, only its destination, the bank did not question it. Very suspect of the bank.
     I ultimately blame TD North for fucking me over because had they stopped payment when the destination was changed and notified my friend about it, this would have been resolved immediately rather than it becoming a charge-off.

     Now I, being old-fashioned in my mindedness, felt that we should make good on this debt. That would be the right thing to do, no?

     The answer, as it turns out, is no.

     See, both of us now have a black mark on our respective credit histories now. Those black marks will remain for seven years.
      Having been raised with Christian values as well as the more worldly values of "do the right thing", I wanted to make good on the debt because I was working under moral and ethical considerations. I do not deny that wrong had been done nor do I deny the validity of the debt. I would happily pay it to have this stain removed from record. I would hope understanding would prevail, but even if it did not, surely paying off a bad debt would reduce the time a black mark remains on the record, right?

      Wrong.

       Whether you make good on a debt or not does not affect how long the black mark will remain on your credit report and that length of time is seven years.
      So if the mark remains whether you pay the bad debt or not, what exactly is the incentive to make good on a mistake? Basically if you've fucked over a lender out of his money, yes, your credit history is fucked for seven years but...free money? It sure seems that way.

      I want to do the right thing, but I will not be forgiven even part of my punishment for doing so, so why bother? Such draconian measures: they do nothing to inspire moral and/or ethical behavior.

      The lesson I take from this is that businesses are immoral and unethical creatures. They forget (probably because they have to by law), but they do not forgive. They are not like this because they must be, but because we made them that way. This is what we get for putting pennies before people.
      We have willed businesses into becoming people as legal fictions but we never, for some reason, thought it necessary that they ought to behave morally and ethically in addition to their profit-seeking. We reap what we sow and as for this particular creditor, what you have sewn is me not paying you back shit now.

      I think what is bugging me secondarily is how my creditors all think alike. There's no evidence of consideration in their decision-making. It's all numbers I'm sure. Yes, I'm pre-blaming Mastercard and quite frankly I will kiss their ass in another entry if they alone do not slash my credit limit...but I know that ain't happening. The question will be by how much.
     But it would be nice to believe that even one of these creditors could look at my payment history considered altogether and say, "Let's give him a break because the only account of his that ever went bad was one where he was cosigned. The accounts entirely in his name, he has never been late, not once...ever. He's the one who got screwed, not the other way around." Could I pretend a little humanity can exist in the minds of these people? I could...but then let's face it...it's all equations to them. I have always been a number...