Dear All-Natural Lord, Thou lookest sternly down upon us, Thine flock, even though we avoid unhealthy processed food and have been rallying for GMO-labeling laws like fucking crazy.
Please make us crunchy, and deliver us from accumulated toxins, that we may eat only raw, organic food, much more expensive than other people's.
And grant that we shun what we cannot pronounce, like Vani Hari, whom we have never seen, but are just going by reputation because it is your will.
We solemnly believe that, although humans have been genetically modifying plants, fungi, and animals in various ways for over 12,000 years, you feel strongly we had just enough genetic modification between 1946 and 1972. Not too little, not too much.
Please deliver us from Monsanto, the worst company that was ever incorporated and protect us from those who scoff at our woo or our appeal to nature and deliver us from vaccines.
Amen.
"The Amish Barn-Raising Prayer" from Family Guy
Okay, enough silly poking fun. I will end my awful parody with the following paraphrases altered to suit the subject matter...
At least let these developers prove they can do it. Give GMOs a break. To write them off before they've even started well, that's irrational. I don't know if GMOs will work: I'm just saying that these developers deserve a chance to try and make them work. (with apologies to Babylon 5)
And if the GMO experiment fails, we should admit it frankly and try something else. But above all, try something. The world's presently got a lot of hungry mouths to feed and researchers/developers are saying GMOs might be a part of the solution, so let's try it and find out instead of blocking attempts via fearmongering. (with apologies to Franklin Roosevelt)
And, if this, by grace of Internet, were to be used seriously by those whom I'm making fun of, that means I win, right?
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