We ate at Denny's (another first for me I believe) before going to the hotel. The desk clerk was very accommodating. Besides the three of us, a coworker and his wife also came. There were supposed to be five others (in three groups) but they had cancelled last minute. The coworker's room was in the Borgata's other hotel but the desk clerk not only switched them to our hotel at no cost but managed to give us adjoining rooms, creating in effect, one giant hotel room.
I was also encouraged to sign up for a Borgata card which may bring me benefits like comped meals, rooms, free-play money, etc. We'll see...
The Borgata is very nice as I suppose it should be in order to lure in gamblers. I went into a shallow warm pool to go swimming for the first time in about twenty-five years. The experience taught me something: I've pretty much forgotten how to swim. It also doesn't help that my skinny frame practically sinks like a stone in fresh water (though swimming in the ocean has never appealed to me...it always seemed scary to be in murky ocean water deeper than I am tall and so endless on the one side). I tried staying afloat and dog-paddling only to quickly exhaust myself in the attempts. I feel I'd've tried more if the room weren't so full of people. I can't say I like the feeling of being watched even when the greater likelihood is that they're not paying attention to me at all.
The water was also only 3½ feet deep which doesn't lend itself to graceful swimming. Oh well. Though it does tell me to be cautious about entering deeper pools.
My first money spent was at a self-operating roulette machine. That is, it had no human attendant. It was a real encased roulette wheel that just did its thing without human intervention. I only put in $5 and promptly lost it all in a series of 50¢ bets. I would spend a few more dollars later (also promptly losing it) before getting some dinner. Beginner's luck is a myth I would have to say.
My cousin and coworker had much better luck when I watched them play in my attempts to try and understand how the penny slots worked and paid out. Both were up over $100 though I think they would both lose it all later during a drunken late-night gambling session.
My cousin, his wife, and I had dinner at a buffet. Their meals were comped (as was the hotel room, the only reason they were going down that day). The food was good but I mistakenly loaded up on silly foods like fried chicken and linguini rather than scouting around for tastier, more expensive fare like leg of lamb and rib roast. I had some ice-cream and Jell-O for dessert. The Jell-O was "no sugar added" which I didn't like but the small sign announcing that fact was made of edible chocolate which I thought was cute.
After dinner we went to a comedy show which we were already late for in that we missed the first act. Turns out the first act was a regular customer of mine at work. Given my impressions of the other two acts, it was probably a good thing I didn't see him perform in order to avoid an awkward conversation at work.
The second act was alright. He was never terrible but had only a few funny moments for me. The third act was an energetic impressionist that I didn't care for at all. Besides his impressions being quite a bit out of date (seriously, the Sopranos, Seinfeld, and Saturday Night Fever? What year is this?), I just find that kind of comedy to be low on the scale for professional stand-up. It worked fine for radio shows like Opie & Anthony when Anthony's impressions would help enhance a news story or reference, but on stage, it's like listening to a voice-actor do their cartoon characters. It's neat, but ultimately not satisfying unless it's part of something greater.
It was after this show that my personal failure begins. I watched my cousin play a bit and then started wandering the floor toward the non-smoking section (because yeah, cigarette smoke just grates on your senses and throat after a while) for something to attract my attention. I settled upon a 30-line penny slot game called CATS, not after the musical but after the large predatory kinds.
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| Because OF COURSE I would play a cat-themed game |
Instead of leaving the machine, I put in another $20 and started making primarily 90¢ (3x) bets and switching to 60¢ (2x) as the amount dwindled. I would win here and there pushing the amount up, and sometimes, back over $20. Around now I was formulating the idea that I should make 2x bets when the amount is less than $20, 3x bets when it's between $20 and $40, and 5x bets when it's over $40.
I don't recall exactly anymore, but I believe this second $20 was also completely lost before I happened upon another idea which actually proved lucrative.
I started a third round of $20 following those betting rules but this time when the amount dropped to around $10, instead of playing it through to the end making small 2x bets with lesser payouts, I put in another $20 bringing my credit up to $30+ enabling me, through my betting rationale, to resume making 90¢ (3x) bets.
It was at that 3x level that I happened upon some good wins 7 lion symbols which was like a $7-$9 win at 3x or 5 free-spin bonus rounds which also racked up some good amounts. In fact, my credit managed to get high enough to rationalize 5x bets which, while they decreased my holdings faster at $1.50 a pop, the prizes they yielded were also higher.
Couple this higher amount with my realization that dwindling bets signal an end to winnings (because you can never seem to climb back up to sustainable higher amounts on progressively smaller bets), instead of letting my credit dwindle below $40 which would "require" me to drop back to 3x bets, I would put in yet another $20 to keep me in the 5x betting range and through the dumb luck that is a slot machine, I managed to score pretty good. I hit another bonus round at 5x betting and my machine credit had climbed to over $100 which, at this point, I felt justified making the maximum $3.00 (10x) bet.
At this point I should've already quit when the amount fell back to $100 but instead I put in ANOTHER $20 and kept making maximum bets and hit what would be, for this machine anyway, the closest thing to a jackpot I could get: a 10 free-spin bonus at maximum bet (I think that's when I took the above picture).
By the time I left that bonus round, my credit was up to around $314 which, if you recall the opening paragraph, not only covered all I had spent by this point and then some, but also my lost wages but did I cash out? Of course not! Why? Because I'm an idiot.
I can't even say it was greed at this point. I think it was more curiosity in that I wondered how high could this go? I recalled from before dinner, a gambler on a different 30-line penny slot with a credit amount of over $500. So I pressed on (literally...it's just a button you push) making maximum bets but nothing better would materialize. Soon my credit cache had dropped to $250 which I think was the nullification point: that is, all my Atlantic City expenses and lost wages were represented in that number. But did I print the cash voucher? No...
I pressed on.
And on...
And on...
And on...
And on...
And on...
And on.....
Now it was a desperate desire coupled with the necessary greed to get back to that high point and later it would be a persistent bargaining that if I could only get back what I had spent, I would walk away...
I stayed at that machine watching my total drop further and further and further (rising a bit occasionally here and there but never again over $200). And then it was at $100 and I started putting in money again in order to keep making maximum bets and then the money I had brought for gambling had run out. I had more money in my wallet but enough sense not to spend it.
Now, seeing that I had lost, rather than cash out what remained and go to bed (I should mention I had been awake for over 27 hours at this point and wouldn't sleep until I had been awake for over 29 hours), I had become determined to lose the money fair-and-square and by that, I mean, in accordance to my self-imposed betting rules and not "cheating" by making maximum bets on less than $20.
This...would take a long time.
If I've noticed anything about these games is that you can play them for a long time without ever winning or losing all that much. My amount would fluctuate between $5 and $30. Just when it seemed like it would be over, I would score a 5 free-spin bonus round (at 2x, wishing I could've somehow foreseen that and made a 10x bet) which would put me back at around $15, prolonging the agony of defeat. But it would never get particularly high again either. Briefly I was able to resume 3x bets but it never lasted.
I should also mention that no one found me at this machine. The presence of anyone I had come with would have been enough to get me away from the machine. I received some phone calls from my cousin's wife asking where I was but never being summoned for some activity. I was never even once asked if I would like a drink from a cocktail waitress: they're free on the floor and I did see them wandering around but never once was I asked. I would've politely declined the offer as I don't drink but still, they didn't know that about me.
So at the machine I remained, in my zombie state, and pissed at/disappointed in myself for not having quit earlier but still too prideful to accept the loss and walk away.
It was around 3 in the morning when I finally exhausted the money. I got a little lost trying to find my way back to the elevators and since the two hotels are connected, I think I wandered into the other one briefly. Security was helpful in directing me. Really, everyone I met who worked for the Borgata was very friendly and helpful.
I passed by their nightclub and saw all the pretty girls in short dresses leaving with various men. I'll admit to being a little bit envious and wishing I had the kind of attire needed to enter that club and the cash necessary to play the real games there allowing the girls to pretend to like me for me. I wouldn't even dare to play the nickel slots let alone the Blackjack and Poker tables!
Eventually I made it back to our room. No one was there. I got dressed for bed and lay down...and then it dawned on me that I had left my Borgata card in the CATS machine I had been wasting my time and minor dreams on so I got dressed and hurriedly returned to the machine. My card was still there. I was under the impression that the information on that card was only on that card but my cousin assured me that it would not have mattered if I had lost it. The casino would still have my usage information. He also felt that the many hours I spent at that machine would get me a comp sooner rather than later since it would tell the casino I'm an interested player.
Curiously, despite noting the directions to get back to the elevators, I still went the wrong way back but this time, everyone was in the hotel room. My cousin and coworker, both seriously drunk went out yet again for some drinking and gambling while both their wives and me went to sleep for what was left of the night.
We checked out at 11 a.m. but stuck around for an hour because my cousin knew he was due $35 in free-play money so he didn't want to leave before gambling that away. He played at some game called "Bettie the Yeti", another 30-line penny slot game and when his money was gone, I decided to play one last time with my "last" $30 which was already overbudget money and not truly my last $30.
Like with the CATS game, I started with $20 (my last $20 bill) and made 90¢ (3x) bets until it had dwindled to $10. Rather than continue using 60¢ (2x) bets, I put in a $10 bill to continue at 3x. I got lucky and scored some 10 free-spin bonus "adventure".
Unlike the CATS game, this Bettie the Yeti bonus had two parts to its prize. The first part was the value of the lines resulting from the free spins. The second part was the "adventure" part. Every time an "adventure" symbol popped up in the round, an animated Bettie above the playing field would advance toward progressively higher multiples marked on signposts as 1x, 2x, 5x, 10x, 20x, 25x, 50x, etc. According to the plaque on the game, it could go as high as 1000x. The value of the adventure was multiple of your actual bet which in my case was 90¢. The CATS game, as far as I can recall, had no prizes based on the amount of my bet: all the prize values for that game were the result of combinations of glyphs multiplied by your bet multiple (rather than your total bet as you could bet smaller total amounts by betting fewer lines like 1, 5, or 15 instead of the full 30 possible combinations).
By sheer dumb luck (because that's what all these games really are: randomized results), I had managed to get Bettie up to 50x my bet plus the value of the lines made in the spins. I won around $55 from that one spin putting my credit at around $68. With my cousin watching I announced (and that was important as it created obligation in me) I would continue playing until I either got another nice prize or my credit dropped down to $60. It dropped down to $60.51 and since I couldn't place a bet lower than 60¢, I cashed out.
That apparent win allowed me to go home only $6 overbudget (which was $300, an amount suggested by my cousin's mother when I had asked how much I should bring). Still a loss but nevertheless, an instructive one.
My cousin has already invited me back in August. When I go next time, I already have a plan for how to minimize my losses. My intention will be to cash out at $25+, which for a $20 buy-in would be a 25% gain...nothing to sneeze at. I don't have to leave the game, I just have to print the voucher. I can start a new $20 game but I can't continue with the one I managed to get ahead on.
The same rationale would apply to the roulette table if I give that game another whirl: If I manage to get a number, which is a 36 to 1 payout, print the voucher rather than pretend I can keep winning with my winnings. I can start a new game if I wish, but I must print out THAT voucher...
I'm sure I'll still lose, but I will do my damnedest this time to not go overboard like I did with CATS (though I fully intend to play that game and Bettie the Yeti again if they're still there as I am familiar with them)...
Wish me luck...or rather, wish me the good sense to walk away before it's too late.
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