TD NORTH BANK CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES

      I had an unpleasant experience at the bank the other day. TD North Bank (formerly Commerce Bank) has this coin counting machine called Penny Arcade using a cartoon mascot of the same name (who looks a bit disturbed in my opinion) which for both incarnations of this bank, offered to count up your loose change for free whether or not you're a customer. Not anymore they don't. I went in and found out that non-customers like me would now be assessed a 6% "counting fee" unless we opened an account with them. Seriously, what the fuck?!

I keep waiting for her eye to twitch

      I was always under the impression that we were doing banks a favor by bringing in change to them. That meant they didn't have to order so much for their customers meaning they're saving money when it comes to the expense of transporting those heavy, nearly valueless coins. (Remember, a quarter in the early 1960s was like $2 today and about $5 back in the 1920s. Now a quarter-dollar has the purchasing power a cent did back in the 1910s. Fuck you inflation.) I had to eat the fee the first time, but I will be opening a minimally sized account the next time I'm in.

      Now you might be wondering why it is I bring my coins there instead of my bank (which also has a coin-counting machine, free for its customers). There's two reasons. First, when I buy half dollars at my bank to search through, I take out the beat-up ones and the bicentennial ones (as well as the ones I want to keep) and give the rest out as change to my customers at work. I figure since people don't normally see half-dollars, I both don't want to risk a higher rate of rejection (currently about 2%) by giving out a shitty-looking one (this may be a false assumption but slot machines really do do a number on the coins) nor do I wish to convey that these coins were a one-year-only issue as may be implied by the bicentennial issue if it were received by someone who had never seen the coin before. Yes, that's my weirdness but the point is that I don't want to bring the half dollars I find unusable back to the bank I bought them from. Since I am actively seeking certain dates, I feel I would be hampering my ability to do so if I simply brought them back to my bank (after all, I might just get those same coins back next month). Therefore, I've been taking advantage of TD North's free coin counter to use that bank as a dumping ground for those unwanted coins.

      Second, the coin counter at my bank is slow taking a good twenty minutes to count out the over $150 in change I tend to bring in monthly. It also has trouble counting half dollars (sometimes the Penny Arcade was down when I'd come in): it can't quite get them into the proper slot for sorting. You hear them tumbling around and around until the machine finally jams up from their increasing weight. The Penny Arcade, however, practically swallows what I dump into it whole. It's fucking amazing how fast it counts!

      So now, even though I don't want to, I'll be forced to open a checking account with them for the aforementioned reasons. What it ultimately means is that I will have to cash more checks at work now to pay for my coin purchases rather than recycling the dollars like I have been all these years. I figure I'll just write checks to my primary account as the total increases in the account I don't want. It's an extra step and I'm really annoyed that I have to go through with this now. I'll adjust to the new routine, but seriously, fuck you TD North!

WALKING, RIBBONS, & CONCERTS DON'T DO SHIT

      I have to admit that I'm getting pretty damn tired of hearing about wearing pink ribbons to show support for breast cancer, walk-for-the-cure for autism, and concerts for people with AIDS. What does any of that shit do except to make the participants feel better about themselves? How about we actually start demanding these things be cured instead. That would seem to be a tad more effective don'tcha think?

      I never give to these causes. I have no idea where the money is going and the event just seems like so much mental masturbation. We are well past the point where it should be obvious to anyone that major pharmaceutical companies are not interested in finding the cures to ANY of these things: not cancer, not allergies, not autism, not this -ism or that -ism (sorry Mr. Lennon). It's long been known that there's no profit in the cure. The days of eliminating smallpox, measles, whooping cough, scarlet fever, and a whole host of other terrible diseases is over. Thank goodness for the different general mindset of previous generations otherwise we'd probably be applying cream to our skin to lessen the appearance of smallpox scars...if you survived the disease that is. Yes, I will admit that rinderpest was recently declared wiped off the planet. However, in this case, there was profit in the cure. Y'see, rinderpest was a cattle disease that has killed many of those animals over the years. Making the disease extinct means more cattle survive which in turn means more money.

      I want these diseases cured and cured permanently. I take great pride in knowing that the human race successfully eradicated its scourge, smallpox back in the 1960s and 1970s. It's amazing we have the power to do that and it gives me hope. However, you'll notice the list of mankind's accomplishments have declined precipitously in terms of cures lately and I really do believe that at the heart of it all is money...or rather the LACK of money in finding the cure. Our mistake, I believe, is relying on large pharmaceutical companies to find these cures. It seems to me that would be the job of the federal government instead.

      We seriously need a Department for the Cure of Deadly Diseases, Cancers, and Allergies...a well-funded one in fact. It should hire the best scientists and pay them better both in cash and benefits than what they would receive in the private sector and have them do nothing but find the cures to these scourges. Yes, this department would be in direct competition with BigPharma and that's the point. They have failed to perform their moral duty so now we must circumvent them. If anything, we owe it to ourselves.

      It is very much in the interests of local, state, and federal government to cure problems that cost so so much to treat. I wouldn't worry about BigPharma though, there will always be something to treat with a pill or application to fund their enterprises and nature is ever resourceful, so new problems are always just around the corner. But for now, can we please stop it with the bullshit walks, symbols, and concerts and demand that students in this country get educated in biochemistry, biophysics, and other health-related sciences and help them in doing so by offering grants to be educated thusly in exchange for doing work for the as-of-now made up Dept. for the Cure of Deadly Diseases, Cancers, and Allergies for a certain number of years. It would seem like a worthy investment...

I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part IV

"I Do, I Do, I Do" by ABBA. This seems to be a popular group to hate on; but seriously, they have some pretty good songs. The parts right before I do, I do, I do...I don't know what that's called in music (downshifting chords?) but I really love it whenever I hear that done in song.

GOING TO THE BANK USED TO BE FUN...

      Searching through rolls of half-dollars has been very disheartening lately...

      I remember reading years ago (2003 to be precise) about people searching rolls of half dollars and finding older silver coins that have long since vanished from general circulation. I'll still find the occasional silver dime of the Roosevelt variety (1946-1964) and more rarely, a silver Washington quarter (1932-1964) but I had never thought to go a bank and ask for rolls of the coins to do the same thing.

     I got started as both a goof and because I was curious. The people I work with would say that people don't like half-dollars but couldn't offer up any evidence of this since we don't generally give them out so I started bringing in the half dollars I didn't want and gave them out in change to general success. I get about the same rejection rate for half dollars as I do with any other coin/currency...about 2%. Sometimes the customer wants two quarters instead (often offering up a "reason" like I really need to hear one...I seriously don't give a fuck what your reason is) but then again, sometimes a customer wants two fives instead of the ten I gave them so should I conclude that customers don't want ten dollar bills either? No, so I don't take the rejection of half dollars as a referendum against the coin and because of this, I now had a venue through which I could dispose my unwanted coins.

      Yes, I COULD HAVE returned the unwanted coins to the bank, but that defeats the purpose of what I'm doing. If I give them back, odds are high that I'll re-receive coins which I have already rejected. I need to go through new ones to find out if indeed there still are silver coins among them.

      With all that set up, I started buying about $200 a month in half dollars. At first, I got nothing. Occasionally, a 40% silver Kennedy half (1965-1970); but nothing else. A few months in, I got a 1964 Kennedy (90% silver) but that seemed to be the best I could hope for. The tales of Franklin (1948-1963) and Walking Liberty (1916-1947) halves seemed to be an elusive fantasy. It took until October 2003 when I first hit paydirt. I got a Franklin Half and a Walking Liberty one. The next month, I even got a 1906-O Barber half dollar (1892-1915)! And thus it was like this most of the time until 2008: I would get between 1-3 silver halves per $200 with occasional 40% silver halves.

      2005 was my best year when I got four solid rolls of silver halves including one with mixed silvers from 1937-1963...an original undisturbed 40+ year old roll...truly fucking awesome. But by mid-2008, the supplies dried up. I went over a year before getting four more this year...but that's been it, not even 40% halves. I've been finding the occasional impaired proof, but that's it. I can't help but feel like they're all gone now from my area. It sucks...and it's discouraging.

      I know I should be happy that I'm even finding these coins at all, but it's still makes time pass slowly thinking that my next trip to the bank will be wasted too. It's also frustrating because I've managed to find over 50% of the total Franklin half series (35 date and mintmark combinations) only to have the hopes of completing the series from circulation stalled. I've even gotten a fair number of the Walking Liberty half "short set" (1941-1947)...that's stalled now too. Even the appearance of impaired proofs has stalled. This whole experience is wearing me down emotionally.

      People ask me what I want for Christmas every year. I have so little space left for new things so I suggest they go to banks in their areas doing what I've been doing. You never know what might turn up! But they never do it for me. I would love to think one of their local community banks has a few solid rolls of silver halves just waiting to be taken off their hands for face value. Sigh...

ADDENDUM: This January 2011, I got seven Franklin halves in various rolls including one new date (1949-D). I'm hoping this will be the start of a good year for roll-searching.

LINE OF THE DAY

I was reading through the comment section of this Cracked article and stumbled upon this gem from Crusty_McNads:

I think the concept of time is more like being duct-taped to the back of an ambulance without brakes hurtling towards an orphanage at 200 mph with a shrieking monkey throwing dynamite at oncoming traffic as they try to dodge your wake of destruction. and the only thing playing on the radio of the ambulance is the sound of cash registers opening mixed with people screaming... the point is you have no idea when you'll finally smash into the orphanage, delivering an explosion large enough to vaporize anyone caught within 100 yards of the building due to your payload of unexploded dynamite that the deranged monkey has not yet managed to unload into the unexpecting populace, but you can see the trail of destruction which follows your journey towards death.

also the monkey smokes a cigar.

BIZARRE AND EDUCATIONAL...IT'S A TWO-FER!

I was linked to this by www.nerdist.com. It's quirky (quarky?) and surprisingly listenable. Learning something new by song...it's so grade school! :-)

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BASIC ETIQUETTE?

      I have such cheap friends. My roommate turned thirty this past Saturday and for that, he naturally decided to make a celebration of it with his friends. He created the event and hosted it himself. That's important to note: This was not a surprise party or a party being held in his honor, this was an event that he had created and he was hosting.

      I'll admit that I didn't even want to go and was still feeling that way right up until the last minute. Remember, I'm pissed that he isn't looking for work and that he does nothing around this apartment despite being here the whole day. Occasionally he'll do the dishes...but only just as I was about to do them. He did that once with the bathroom too. I set everything up to start and then and only then did he volunteer to do it (and do it poorly as he did not clean the floor - why else would I have taken out the floor cleaner? --- he didn't clean the wall tiles in the bathtub or the sink or the outside of the toilet bowl either...). I'm also not happy with his masseur business and the fact that he brought clients home without telling me for a time (he also brings guys home for anonymous sex too that he meets online...this I'm not happy with either. It's the same thing as his clients. Just because he's not getting paid [or paying them] doesn't change the fact that he's bringing a person home who has not been vetted). All these things played into me wanting to ditch him on his birthday last minute: It would be the only time I could effectively hurt him. But I talked myself out of it, got up early like I was supposed to, and went to the event all the while carrying a nagging suspicion.

      The family-style restaurant we went to was loud. For some reason, acoustics are not factored in to these places. This is the third restaurant of three that I've been in that I can't hear anyone (even those sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME) when it's at capacity. These places should be designed like music studios with sound absorbing walls, but instead it's wood or stone or any hard flat surface that easily reflects sound. I guess they do it because they had a sense of décor in mind but while it might look beautiful, it creates a bad conversational atmosphere. Thankfully one of the roommate's friends (whom I've met before) is easy to talk to and we kept as good a conversation as we could given the atmosphere going throughout the time I was there. Our groups need a roundtable format, seriously. There were fifteen of us, but I was only in range of three. The only good thing about the night was my schadenfreude over the seeming fact that the girl I was seated next to seemed to be playing my usual role, the wallflower, that night. Who knew I could ever be anywhere but at the bottom of the social totem pole?

      Dinner was lacking. There was salad and bread as appetizers but I'm not a salad guy. I eat few vegetables as is and salads inevitably have ones I won't eat and are covered in oils which I would prefer not be on my healthy foods. The main course was lasagna and two variants of chicken...all of which were meaty and salty. I desperately needed a vegetable chaser like corn or green beans but none was to be had so I ended up eating very little.

      I still had to work that night so I had to leave before dessert arrived. Thankfully I wasn't the only one leaving so I was able to secure a ride to work (though I was still late...funny how the only times I have ever been late to work was when I got a ride there!). As I'm leaving, the roommate calls me over and asks me for forty dollars to cover my share of the meal. I gave him the money while restraining my inner unhappy surprise.

       Really?! I had to pay? Understand, I'm not saying this because I am cheap and fuck you if you think I am. You don't host an event and expect the attendees to pay. That's just rude: It's a violation of basic etiquette. I'd like to say I've never heard of this before, but in 2008, I got the same thing from another friend in my college group.

      She had her birthday and like my roommate created the event (posting the invitation online) and hosted it at a Korean chicken restaurant in Manhattan. I and my roommate (who mentally, I was still on good terms with) went out together to go see her. Forgetting for the moment that the acoustics in this place were particularly bad (I couldn't hear ANYBODY the whole night) and the $25 minimum order (what the fuck is that?), at the end of the night we were both expected to pay for ourselves and for her. That irked me then. This current event irks me now.

      Who the hell does that? When I had my 30th birthday, my Mom hosted the event. Outside of immediate family, I invited six people (only two of whom showed...). Guess what? Mom paid for the whole thing and not because she's generous but because that's what you're SUPPOSED to do when you host an event. Even impromptu stuff, the host paid be it my Mom, Dad, me, my best friend's parents, my best friend's grandparents, my uncles, my aunts, etc. etc. etc. because that's what you do. So many of my and my brother's friends have gone to movies courtesy of my Dad and never had to pay (they got popcorn and soda too). It infuriates me. No one in my family is well-off: We're all decidedly working class...but that's what you do.

       I rarely host events but I have and will continue to do so. I tend to keep such events small because I can't afford to do much. But it's a simple metric --- if I invite you out to a planned event, you're not paying. If you invite yourself along, you're paying; but not the other way around [e.g. if I were to mention that I was going out to see a movie and you wanted to come along, you're paying but if I invite you to come see a movie with me, you don't pay. Get it?]. It doesn't bother me to do so. I figure what goes around, comes around. If I invite you out, you will invite me out at some point.

       Oh well, once bitten...twice shy. I should've known this would happen because seriously...how could he have afforded such a place on his Unemployment Insurance? There's no way he's sucked enough dicks for money to cover it otherwise... Either way, if he could not afford to host a dinner party, he should not have had one. Hosting one anyway and expecting your attendees to pay is just plain ignorant and selfish. I just can't go out to events hosted by my college friends anymore...

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ADDENDUM: I should note that my roommate left me a note with thirty dollars writing on it that he felt bad that I ate so little (I think he thought this was so not because I was sated on what I had eaten but because I had to leave so soon into it and the dinner started later than planned). This in of itself does not negate the previous entry. I would NEVER have gotten thirty dollars back if we were not living together. I just would have had a $20 piece of lasagna and a $20 piece of chicken parmesean.