Friday, May 24, 2013

HE SAID/SHE SAID, maybe THEY SAID?

     I'm reading this article in Psychology Today shared to me by a friend about introversion. It's enjoyable and potentially helpful for me in the future when explaining my behavior to others, but I'm finding myself continually distracted by the use of she/her/hers pronouns for the imagined introvert in this article.

     I'm trying to wrap my brain around it while reading (apparently in true introverted style). Why does it bother me so when I see the use of she/her/hers over the old generic standard of he/him/his? I'm well aware that half the population is female so the choice of gender to use in such articles could really be 50/50 but yet it nags on me.
     And I feel it goes deeper than some superficial attempt to attack me for being patriarchal or some other form of male privilege. I think it's specificity.

     This is true in Romance languages as well whereby the masculine plural form is used for all men or mixed company (even if the mixture is female dominant) and the feminine plural form is used only for a group of women. In other words, the masculine form is defaulted.
      But what does that defaulting do in terms of meaning? When I read "he/him/his" in articles like the one linked above, I'm not picturing anyone, let alone a male. "One/One's" could just as easily be substituted but I'm guessing it is not because it creates awkward sentence structures to read, especially if the language of the article is being presented in a conversational style. "One/One's" does not lend itself to conversational type pieces.
      However, when I read "she/her/hers", it triggers an immediate "who?" question. Whereas the use of "he/him/his" could be referring to someone, it could just as easily be referring to no one in particular. Therefore the use of "he/him/his" does not beg a question whereas "she/her/hers" necessarily does. "She/Her/Hers" definitely refers to someone in particular. Whereas "he" is roughly equivalent to "a(n)", "she" is equatable with "the".

      Now that's likely where the social conditioning comes in because had "she/her/hers" been the default, then "he/him/his" would cause a triggering question. And had English used "it/its" for mixed sex references, then both separate genders would trigger questions.

      Perhaps that's why, to the consternation of grammarians everywhere, the use of a special case singular "they/them/their/theirs" has been creeping into the language (actually I think it has been for centuries). When a male-dominated society was the norm, the use of "he/him/his" as a default genderless personal pronoun would have also been the norm and now with the rise of a more equally represented society both in actuality and in thought, the need for a gender-neutral personal pronoun is even more insistent. I find the use of singular "they" preferable over random usage of "she" for the reason mentioned in prior paragraphs though I acknowledge its use is hardly best.

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