I went out with The Security Guard and his (our?) friend last night. After a meal at TGIFridays, we went to two Go-Go lounges. The first one was a den of sadness which felt a lot like the one I was taken to last year, possibly two years ago (time's slipping through my fingers at an ever-increasing rate). The second one, however, was much different. The girls there, dare I say, seemed happy to be there or at least didn't come across like they wished their lives had taken different paths.
What made this experience different is the girls would actually sit down and talk to the patrons. Now, I'm not stupid: I know they're looking to get lap dances which pay considerably better ($20) than the dollar bill alms received after they "perform" onstage. I use the term loosely because trust me, whatever you've seen on television does not happen in these places...girls are not energetically and/or acrobatically dancing on the stage nor are their moves particularly sophisticated (though one girl danced rather seductively). I imagine there are upscale places where the television experience happens but not here.
But I will tell you this...it's nice that they do that [talk to the patrons]. For a guy like me not used to receiving any attention at all from girls, let alone very pretty ones (another difference between this latter lounge and the first one...the girls were much prettier at this establishment). Even while fully aware they're ultimately soliciting for a lap dance, they will spend a few minutes with you. During that time you get some conversation, eye-contact, and even some flirtatious touching (patrons can't touch the dancers, but the dancers can touch you within reason). I'll even add patience because, for those of you who know me, I'm not exactly the life of any party in any given social situation so that too has an added bonus that my shitty initial talking points don't immediately lead to failure.
I see its value for guys like me. It has the potential to be confidence boosting which anyone knows I need. I'm smart/cynical enough not to believe that these girls actually like me or are attracted to me so it's not possible for them to take advantage of me. However, I realize they're providing a service even if it's not the one they had intended and make sure they're paid even when I decline the lap dance. And like with a good server in a restaurant, if you get better service, they get better tips and my friend, The Security Guard, has done work in these kinds of clubs for years so he's able to teach me the proper etiquette.
Unlike my prior three experiences in these clubs, I did this time, accept an invitation for a lap dance. I wasn't planning on it but I allowed peer pressure to overcome my normal cowardly resistance and quite frankly, this girl was sexy as hell.
That was a very different experience for me. I'm not sure what to make of it. It's sexy as hell, or at least she made it such but considering it takes me about two hours (after taxes) to make $20, it's not something I could ever do with any sense of frequency. But she made my first lap-dance experience worthwhile and gave me a little bit extra, possibly a lot extra (even if I thought my experience was typical, her rapid recoiling from what she was doing when another girl passed in the background to go into the dressing room would let anyone know some rules were being violated). As such, I was sure to tip her on top of the cost of the dance.
It is amazing how creepy some guys are in these places. In the first lounge of the evening, the discomfort on some of the dancer's faces as they put up with the antics of a drunken patron was palpable. It must suck for the dancers because those patrons end up paying more so they have to put up with it if they expect to pay back the house and make money for the evening. Negative feedback loops. I can't do that. I see no reason to treat a girl differently (in the negative sense) just because she's a go-go dancer.
And no, I'm not trying to play some asshole nice-guy shtick. These girls would see through that as easily as I see through their flirtatious soliciting. I just feel these girls deserve the same respect one would give a waitress. They are not my playthings and I refuse to talk to them like they owe me their time.
I wonder if I should return to this establishment? It's not like it's prohibitively far from my home. I couldn't afford to go more than once a month, but I can't help but wonder if repeating these experiences would help me with my confidence issues? Also, I've gone enough times now with experienced patrons to have learned how to properly treat/tip the bartender, staff, and dancers. As a final point I would say just because you know the attention you're getting is not genuine doesn't mean it doesn't evoke the same responses and offer the same benefits that genuine attention does, right? It might confer the same benefits that military training does. Simulated combat is certainly not real combat, but it still prepares the mind and body for the real thing.
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