Tuesday, January 29, 2013

ARCHITECTURAL FANTASY...

     My dreams occasionally feature common themes across them. One theme that pops up frequently is that of hidden rooms in houses (and no, I have no idea what it means...can't say that I care really). Sometimes it's even to the effect of an entire house hidden within a house.

     How these things are not noticed from the outside is beyond me but upon waking, I find the concept most fascinating.

     A simple example would be one an unused door, say behind a swinging bookcase, reveals a narrow stairway between the outer wall of the house and the wall of the room. The stairway is just about as wide as a person so the fit is snug but atop it will be a small open room and a window looking outside. In one dream, the room, not much larger than the small bedroom of a two bedroom apartment, there was a chair, an endtable, and a television on top of some shelving with either books or a videogame console. Honestly I forget.
     The puzzle is how the furniture got up there since it would be too wide to carry up the stairs. It suggests, in this case, that it was brought there a piece at a time and assembled on the spot. There was another narrow staircase but I did not go up it to see where it led and a small door leading to what I felt was a toilet, but I did not check. I guess the idea was that this was a room where you got away from the house's remaining inhabitants for a while. But still, pretty cool.

     Other dreams featured what, upon reflection, must've been impossible architecture. The thing about my dreams is, so long as I don't think about what's going on too much, they'll continue. If I try figuring something out well, I guess that's too much brain activity to remain in a dream. Dreams like these I tend to "go with" because I'm in awe of what I've discovered.
     I remember one such dream where virtually an entire house was hidden within a house. Well, I shouldn't say "hidden" so much as, rooms would reveal seeming inaccessible places you could get at, but not through the known doors.
     Think of a videogame where you can see parts of a level you have not reached yet. The old first-person shooter Doom would do that a lot. It would also create "enemy only" areas which you could see but could not access without using the "no clipping" cheat.
      One example would be another stairway room like described in the previous dream, but it overlooks the kitchen this time instead of being wholly isolated. Or there'd be stairways leading up (or sometimes down) to rooms otherwise not attached to the house's "normal" rooms. In other words, a house within a house. And these rooms would be fully furnished too but in a style or with older appliances suggesting the current owners were unaware these rooms even existed.
      Some of these dreams suggest that these rooms were built and furnished first and then the rest of the house was built around them kind of like how banks are built around bank vaults.
      The hidden houses would be accessed through crawl spaces whose access could be found under a carpeted floor or by finding another such trap door in an attic and climbing down a laddered shaft to reach them. Another access would be a hidden half door or sliding wall inside an apartment closet leading to another closet which, when exited, reveals a mirror imaged version of the apartment but unlike the main apartment, there's no door leading to the outside...or is there? I seriously don't know. It's not like we get to continue our dreams the following night...

     Weird shit, but damn I want to live there or become rich and eccentric enough that I could have such a place built.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

A TOMB OF ICE...

     Winter finally has come to my part of the country. We had our first cold snap yesterday and it will continue throughout the week.

     I pass by a corporate pond on the way to work. Walking home I noticed the ice was unusually reflective. I figure it must've frozen over very quickly giving the surface a rather glassy appearance. Normally the winds in the area cause the ice to pile up on one side, slowly moving the other edge by the end of the night giving the ice a choppy, white, and certainly unreflective appearance.

     I  went in for a closer look and it was definitely one of those moments I wish I had had my camera. It was bitter cold and my hands would certainly have paid dearly in numbness for the exposure (and who knows how long my camera's battery would've lasted) but there were some neat effects I would have loved to have shared. Maybe tomorrow if the pond remains free of skaters.

     Right at the edge where it is shallowest, it must have been frozen solid. Beneath the clear ice, you could see the decaying leaves which had settled on the bottom. They were eerie looking. Stuck in place, they appeared to have frost on them somehow. Very ghostly looking and surreal. It was like looking into an artsy paperweight.

     Looking over and into the ice at the deeper parts of the pond, you could see the ice had not touched bottom yet, but it was not immediate obvious from my first vantage point. It was only when I stopped to look at it...stare at it...that you could see it moving. Gas bubbles trapped beneath the ice and not yet frozen in place would swirl beneath their cap of clear ice. I don't know what was making them move. The pond overflows into a brook, but no water flows into it. It's at the mercy of the rain. The small fish that live in the pond perhaps?

      Further along the pond's edge came another point where gas bubbles had been rising to the surface perhaps from the leaves seen before. But this time, they did not swirl. On closer inspection, you could see they were frozen in place, not at one level, but at several. I suppose as the ice thickened, it trapped another layer of bubbles until the next set formed beneath it before they too were encased. Again, a neat effect that I'm not sure if a photo could properly capture, but I wished I could have tried.

      Near the pond's other edge the ice had some fractures. My guess is that since water expands when freezing, the whole pond cannot freeze over without exerting pressure on some points. Since the concrete walls bordering it certainly won't give, it must've squeezed the ice sheet itself to break at those points. I didn't see any evidence of water having oozed out and refrozen. Maybe it oozed slowly enough that it froze before reaching the surface of the ice sheet?

      The trailing edge was much like the leading edge. It too appeared frozen solid with ghostly leaves and branches entombed beneath the glassy ice.

      I will bring my camera tomorrow. With luck, the surface will have remained unmolested and I will share some shots here if they come out acceptably. Time to charge the camera's battery!

ADDENDUM:
Entombed leaves with one on the left side sticking above the frozen surface
The largest of the cracks up close

Cracks along the surface and more ghostly leaves
Photos of the gas bubbles frozen at ever greater depths
There was no more motion visible beneath the ice when I took these photos. The pond had frozen too thickly by this point. There's definitely a recovery time that needs to be factored in when exposing one's hands in temperatures like these.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE MAY HAVE FOUND THIS AMERICAN DAD QUOTE FUNNY...

     The B-story of the American Dad episode, "The Adventures of Twill Ongenbone and His Boy Jabari" which originally aired on January 13, 2013 had Steve Smith attempting to do an assignment for his history class of learning about history from interviewing his father, Stan. Stan is not the type to open up on even impersonal matters face-to-face, but at the suggestion of one of Steve's friends, he called his father betting on the idea that if there's a space between him and his dad, he'll be more likely to open up and open up Stan did, revealing his multiple daily internal struggles without any more prodding than a hello.
     Stan first talked his career as a CIA operative, confessing how easy he now finds it to kill people. Whereas his original targets scarred him mentally, he is now able to think about dinner plans while carrying out assassinations.
      The next phone call had Stan revealing that he questions his lovemaking to his wife how it went from once being passionate to now, mechanical. Steve tried to hang up the phone, but was prevented by his friends who tackled and subdued him, leaving them to ask more about Francine and her body, much to Steve's disgust and horror.
      The third call came about when Steve's teacher accused Steve of lying about not doing the project when he claimed his father was uncooperative. He called his teacher out by calling his father in the middle of class and putting him on speaker phone (something Steve announced to his father). He asked Stan who the President was when he was young to which Stan replied with, "I don't know, who cares? I guess I think about killing myself pretty frequently and why not? What's so great about living? You know when I'm happy? For about five seconds in the morning when I first wake up. Before I remember who I am and what my life is all about: Anxiety...disappointment...diarrhea more often than not. (sighs) I don't know if there's an afterlife but who cares? Nothingness couldn't be any worse than this meaningless march through my empty days... (Steve hangs up the phone)"
      Steve turns to his teacher who has now positioned himself by the window exclaiming that Stan is right and that life is meaningless. He declares, "Life dismissed!" and throws himself out the window.

      Yes, the monologue is very depressing, but in context was hilarious. No, I'm not suicidal and I hope you're not either but I also made what Stan said into a handy-dandy Demotivational Poster for easy sharing. The preceding text was all for search engine purposes like printing all the lyrics to the Pillbugs' song "Greeting Committee" because that song, in my opinion, needs to be found.

Without further ado, here's your Demotivational Poster: Life Dismissed
Life Dismissed, Stan Smith has trouble opening up to people in person, but talk to him over the phone and he'll talk your ear off, whether you like it or not, of his many internalized problems regarding his career, marriage, and in this case...life itself. His son Steve, unhappy with his teacher's accusation that he refused to do the assignment of learning about history from interviewing your father, put Stan on the line in front of the whole class asking him who the President was when he was a boy. Stan dismissed the question to go on this rant.
You're welcome.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

SENATOR SHUFFLE

     A letter to the editor in a recent issue of the New York Times wondered aloud about adding to our number of Congressmen in the House, raising the number from the current 435 to an unwieldly 3,100 in an effort to bring down the number of people each Congressman represents from the current approximation of 1 for about every 708,000 people (though that number varies by state as each state is guaranteed one Congressman regardless of population) to 1 for every 100,000 which the writer felt better approximated what the Constitution had originally set out (1 for every 30,000 - which, if used today, would result in the United States having 10,267 members in the House of Representatives while still only having 100 Senators).

     Now while I can accept the idea of increasing the total number of Congressmen somewhat. Maybe 650 - get it? Cuz that's 13 times the total number of states? And there were thirteen states when the Constitution was ratified? Moving along...

      I am actually more interested in the Senators. Each state gets two regardless of population but their districts are apportioned by population (within their respective states) like the House of Representatives. But why not apportion them differently?

     The recent debate over gun ownership rights and regulations thereof sparked by the Newtown, Connecticut elementary school massacre brought about two major mindsets of those in this country. No, not liberal and conservative, but rather that of rural and urban. In a survey showing gun ownership throughout the country, the suburbs fell almost precisely in the middle of the two regions. However, for the purposes of what I'm about to suggest, I will be lumping the suburbs in with the rural.

     When looking at the debate surrounding this issue, one finds that it is the rural regions which are very pro-gun and the urban regions which are very anti-gun. It suggests to me that the two regions have very different priorities and not that one particular priority or the other is necessarily wrong. Just that, perhaps these perspectives, one that of rural and the other of urban ought to be what is represented by our Senators, rather than some gross approximation of half the state's population.
     Sure, more people live in the cities than in the suburbs and small towns but the apportionment of the House is already determined solely by a state's population so why not apportion the Senate on the basis of mentality, specifically the rural/urban divide?

     It would seem a sensible idea to me.

     Hell, and if we're gonna argue for increasing the size of the House of Representatives, why not do the same for the Senate and give three Senators to each state? That way, one can exist for each of the three mindsets of this nation: the rural, suburban, and urban.

RUINING THINGS FOR YOU BECAUSE I AM A PETTY, PETTY MAN...

Pick a number, double it, add 10, divide it by 2, then minus it by the number you started with. You got 5.

     Saw that on a Twitter post earlier today. Okay, Twitter limits your posts to a maximum of 140 characters so I'll forgive the improper use of math terms and grammar but what remains is not at all amazing. Have you ever broken it down before or were you content with the mathematical slight-of-hand? Taken in steps, it looks like this:

Pick any number:
Okay, let's go with a variable instead so that we may represent all numbers and not just integers including (but not necessarily limited to) fractions, decimals, irrational, and imaginary numbers. I choose the old standby n.

Double that number:
2n

Add 10 to that product:
2n + 10

Divide that sum by 2:
(2n + 10) / 2

Subtract from that quotient, your original number:
[(2n + 10) / 2] - n

The difference will be 5:
Wow! Amazing!

However, let's break it down as we go this time:

Pick any number:
n

Double that number:
2n

Add 10 to that product:
2n + 10
Take note that this is the last step given to the participant which cannot be simplified.

Divide that sum by 2:
(2n + 10) / 2
simplify:
(2n / 2) + (10 / 2)
n + 5
The purpose of the Step Four is to undo Step Two. With the appearance of the number 5, the step also reveals that to control this equation for any result, simply double whatever you desire to be the outcome. In other words, had you wanted 7 to be the resultant difference, you would require the participant to add 14 to their (now doubled) original number.

Subtract from that quotient, your original number:
(n + 5) - n
simplify:
5
The purpose of the Step Five is to undo Step One. You know, the one thing you actually did that the host could not anticipate. But had he done this right away, you would have caught on so, through the flourish of busywork, the host has successfully distracted you from this exercise's preordained conclusion, bestowing upon him the suggestion of clairvoyance provided that you, the participant, choose not to reflect upon it too deeply (or at all). One might also think of this exercise as an intelligence test of sorts based on how it is repeated to others. Did you change the addend in Step Three, or leave it at 10? Did you suggest tripling or halving the original number (and yours as well) in Step Two, or did you leave it at doubling? I'm sure you can think of many other ways one might manipulate this equation ;-)

The difference will be 5:
Not so amazing this time around, right? Now take this knowledge and have some fun with your friends!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

AS THEY SAY, YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP...

     My Manager had some good unintentional one-liners last night. We have a man who occasionally comes in and buys much of our overstock for his community. I guess he's the buyer. I don't care what he does with it all. He arranges it all ahead of time with the Head Store Manager and I'm just the foot soldier who rings it all up...usually dozens of orders. He's polite, easy to work with, patient, and well-organized so I don't mind ringing up his orders at all. Oh, and he's an Orthodox Jew: something which normally would not be relevant to the discussion if not for the following.

     First of all, my Manager keeps calling this man "Vinny" even though his name is Ben and he continues addressing him as "Vinny" despite having been corrected several times. It's kinda cartoonish of my Manager, but I know he's not doing this maliciously: he honestly believes this is the customer's name and that is probably why it continues to amuse me so.

      The fun began later. Ben comes in on Saturday night to buy what he's buying and usually taking advantage of sales to boot. The only catch is that the sales end at midnight so I have to work quickly to get as much in as possible. This is where his organization pays off because I can get a lot more done than would normally be possible as a result. Saturday is also one of our busier nights so I'm sure my Manager doesn't like that I'm effectively off-register in order to attend to Ben. My Manager, perhaps a little flustered, asked that, in the future, Ben come in earlier or on another night entirely, suggesting Friday.

     Yeah, he actually suggested to an Orthodox Jew that he come in on a Friday night to do his bulk shopping. Believe me, it's not like you can't tell he's Orthodox. He's in the full, uh...uniform. Oy Gevalt!

     The best (of course) is saved for last. My Manager calls for Security to come to the loading bays so he can witness what's going on. While Ben is pulling his truck to the bay, he explains to Security what is going on. He tells him that "Vinny" arranges all this ahead of time with the head manager and that he buys all this stuff for his community, but that he does it in an unorthodox way. I immediately looked at Security and remarked that I'm pretty sure nothing Ben does is done in an unorthodox way.

     We shared a good laugh over that...and I hope you did too :-)

Saturday, January 19, 2013

ANALOGIZING DEPRESSION

     One way I can define my depression is that I have not only not had a weekend off in almost twelve years but that I also have not had to turn down any offers to go anywhere because of it.

      I've also noticed when things like Girl Scout cookies for sale come up, I am never asked if I want to buy any. I have never made a point to say I don't buy into such things, I just don't get asked. I don't even feel it's being done maliciously; more like, it never occurred to them to ask. I don't get asked to chip in for things like a going-away present for a departing long-time co-worker or to be involved in party planning (such as bringing a dish). I suppose some people might envy this particular problem, but it does get to me every now and then.

     Alone in a crowd.....

Saturday, January 12, 2013

CERTAINLY NEW YEAR SO, UH...FEWER POSTS?

     Have I given up on posting to this blog, even semi-regularly? It's starting to look that way. I suppose I'll still update from time-to-time. It's not for a lack of things to write about though it certainly helped when I had a running theme like the "I Actually Like This Shit" music video series. Knowing I'd be back week after week until I had finished certainly kept this blog on my mind. Oh well...

      So what has the New Year brought already so soon into its tenure?

      I broke up with Costello on December 1st. The relationship just wasn't working in my opinion: I couldn't see any future in it. Costello, for some time, had begun feeling more like a friend to me than a girlfriend. She liked me more than I liked her and nothing I could do could close that gap, a gap which grew only wider as time went on. When she strongly hinted that she was feeling the "L-word" for me, I had to metaphorically slit her throat. I didn't like doing it, but it had to be done. I felt it would be cruel to string her along and for over a month by that point, I was already doubting our future. I offered her friendship and the offer, while genuine, was certainly something she wanted nothing to do with advising me to pretend like she never existed. Costello then applied the scorched earth tactic to all our digital connections. She had wanted me to take a picture of us for some time but we never got around to it, and it certainly wasn't from a lack of opportunities either. Now I have none, except for one with her coat appearing partially in the background. My first relationship is over; about 3½ months worth of one. Back to the drawing board...
     But then, as if seemingly by magic I have already become entranced by an unusually pretty customer of mine whom I had been seeing on a seemingly weekly basis. I had started noticing her before the break-up, but did nothing. She has this mesmerizing smile, you see. When I saw her again in December, I was (in my opinion as a shy man) crowded by my workplace friends who were encouraging me to ask her for her number but lurking far too close for my comfort (a range which can go from just a couple of feet to a seemingly infinite distance depending on just how much I am exposing my vulnerable side). Normally this is a non-starter: I never hit on my customers as a general rule. It's probably good etiquette though I'm sure my usual low self-esteem certainly had a hand in it.
     But this customer, this girl...she got me noticing her and believe me, that's certainly no small feat. I rarely pick up on clues so if I were feeling anything at all, she must be practically beaming them in my direction. After the "crowding incident" on December 17th, I decided that next time I would see her, I would at least get her name. Up until this point, she had been showing up once a week, usually on Thursday. However I would not see her again until just yesterday near the end of my shift. Again, she saw me and rather than go to a shorter line, she waited on mine. I got her name this time but pussed out on asking if she were seeing anyone. My rationalization is that I had wanted that shift to end on a positive note (shouldn't ask too many questions...mustn't get greedy!). She had dried paint on her hands and hair. I can only hope whatever she was painting was just for her and not for a place she's sharing with an as-of-now-unknown partner.
     I like how I work myself up for something that is entirely based on physical attraction at this point. And yes (and I say so surprisingly), I have no doubts that she is attracted to me as well. I hope to see her again soon and not another month from now. It'd be nice to start the new year off so right. It would certainly be a nice change of pace.

     On the numismatic front, I still have not found the 2009-D Northern Mariana Islands quarter...now three years after its release.
      The mintages on the last two 2012 ATB quarters certainly rose significantly suggesting that the Statehood Quarter glut has passed. It was a shame too as when looking at the first three designs, 2012 was on track to have the lowest total mintage of possibly any year since clad quarter production began in 1965. But alas, it was not to be and I had certainly been looking forward to that. The fourth design, the Hawai'i Volcanoes, its mintage exceeded the mintages of that year's three prior designs combined and the final design of 2012, the Denali National Park, exceeded the mintages of all four prior 2012 designs. The total mintage for 2012 did not exceed the quarter mintages from 2009, but it certainly got close. I suspect 2013's mintages will be significantly higher still.
     As of now, the 2012 Acadia National Park quarter from the Denver mint, has the lowest mintage in the entire America the Beautiful series at 21.606 million pieces and the Chaco Culture National Historical Park quarter, also from 2012, has the lowest mintage for a single design at 22 million per mint. I guess that makes them the "keys" even though we all know many thousands of pristine examples have already been set aside by collectors so don't get your hopes up because examples from circulation will certainly never be worth more than 25¢.
     So far, the first three years' worth of ATB quarter mintages have totaled less than the mintages of the first two State Quarters. Using that series as a marker, the ATB quarters are still eating up Pennsylvania's mintage. If the rising mintages hold, then 2013 will certainly surpass New Jersey and possibly Georgia. The mintages only surpassed Delaware's, the first State Quarter, with the first 2012 design, El Yunque National Forest...11 designs in.

     Okay, I'm done blabbing for now...