Say what you want about me, but one thing you can't say is that I lack willpower. I have passed eleven days (out of ninety) of my, let's face it, desperate attempt at restoring my penile sensitivity without drugs by abstaining from masturbation. The fact that I am still very much aware of what day I am on in this little project of mine should be a fairly clear indicator of just how difficult this is to do. I have never gone this long without masturbation since discovering it was a thing back when I was almost twelve.
The temptations are many. I still find myself visiting porn sites to see what's new on them and watching the previews...but never once have I broken down. Strangely, I can just watch. It's an oddly perverse thing to do. I guess you could say I subscribe to the philosophy that one cannot claim to be free of temptation when not actually faced with temptation. I suppose if I were an alcoholic, I would actually be spending time in bars drinking only soda despite the fact that that must almost certainly violate every recommendation.
I guess I want this despite how annoying it is to continue. I feel the song of temptation ever-present in my mind. The lyrics are changing but the melody is the same. Now it's telling me that I should "reward myself" for having stuck to this regimen for "so long". Ugh, this is so annoying...
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