I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part XVI

"88 Lines About 44 Women" by The Nails

Exactly what it says :-)

FUN WITH THESAURUS

      Have you ever come across a girl so pretty it almost makes you angry? Not angry in the sense of you want her and can't have her kind of way; but rather, angry because it feels as though an injustice has occurred.

      It's like this girl is so pretty that in order for her to exist in this form, a hundred others had to be born ugly in a gesture of compensation by the universe. She's so pretty that standard adverbs like "very" and "extremely" are too imprecise to convey your reaction from the look you've been afforded. She's so unprecedentedly pretty that she upsets the curve set by your previous infatuations. She's so unbelievably pretty that you feel practically compelled to crush on her simply because you don't know any better...like it would be disrespectful not to. A girl so disturbingly pretty that she will diminish us all upon leaving this world. A girl so portentously pretty that she must surely be the answer to an age-old profundity. A girl whose indelible face clearly has an output in the high 900+ milliHelens range.

ridiculously pretty

      A girl so frustratingly pretty that you cannot help but run an entry of grandiloquent expressions in an online blog about the subject into the ground... :-)

LINE OF THE DAY, part VI

In this article on Gawker.com talking about the supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park, a commenter asked what areas of the United States would be affected by the ash fallout of its eruption. Eternalcthulhu posted this picture:

To which Rozelle's Bagman replied with: Jeez, it's like a Blue State wet dream.

Hilarious! It would also be a pyrrhic victory for Republicans too as it looks like it would completely cut off illegal immigration from Mexico. :-)

DREAMING LIKE THEY DO IN CARTOONS...

      Most of my dreams are blasé. While this one was no exception, I found how it was carried out to be amusing as well as a bit disturbing.

      I was dreaming that I was talking to Bronx on the phone and that I fell asleep...IN THE DREAM... I heard my phone ring again, got startled and woke up...IN MY DREAM...and apologized for having fallen asleep on her; that I didn't know what happened. No offense to Bronx, I love talking to her. She's truly a delight so I don't know why my dream heaped such an insult upon her but I had a dream in somno...what the fuck?!

      This definitely tops the black&white dream I had years back and may actually top the dream which I woke up from and went back into upon falling asleep again.

      I'll need a consensus vote for which of the three is the weirdest to experience.

A SERIES OF MINOR IRKS AND DISPLEASURES...

      I realized not too long ago that a month ago, I had quietly passed an inflection point with my roommate: he has now been unemployed living with me longer than he has been employed. Hurray!...

      I've noticed how this particular irritation leads to me being even more irritated with minor things than I would be if he were going to work at least five days a week. Things like not doing the dishes. I don't care if you didn't make them, you're home ALL FUCKING DAY you can at least do the dishes in your copious spare time since I sure as fuck know you're not using it to find work. You could also get the mail because why not? You're here and it's certainly not a long walk. You could take out the garbage when it gets full for the same reason. [I've been forgiving of the recyclables because our town seems to have suspended pick-up since the first snowstorm a month ago and this complex provides far too small a receptacle for our papers and cans/glass/plastic. I'm tempted to just throw them in the dumpster now...or buy twine. I guess the latter would be more respectable, wouldn't it?].

      These little things only irritate me further when he demonstrates his priorities. I mean, congratulations on your eighth consecutive hour of television/movie watching. Congratulations on finding the time to work on various writing projects that you're pathologically incapable of finishing. Congratulations on your restful eight plus hours of sleep. I can see why he wouldn't have the time to handle a few chores. Perhaps I should stop being so demanding: there's only so much one man-child can do...

      Could you put your dishes in the sink please? And rinse them out? And while you're at it, do it for your yogurt and soup cans too. I love scrubbing out the rust rings the latter leave in the sink. Thank goodness for non-stick cookware and that's all I'll say about that. Thanks again for doing half the dishes. Do you have some sort of bizarre phobia about washing pots still on the stove? They're cool now I assure you. Sigh...

      But the one thing I've noticed that's been irritating me when it never has before and I fully blame it on his deliberate unemployment is when he replaces a paper towel or toilet paper roll, he does so in a way that it rolls under instead of over-the-top [officially I take the Ann Landers assessment: when they have designs printed on the paper, they're printed so as to be viewed from an over-the-top rolling method...makes sense to me]. I've found myself reorienting them, when for the first sixteen months living here, I didn't care. And now every time I see he's put it out that way, I get mad and start having angry daydreams. I'm cool now so writing about this is making me giggle because it's just that stupid to ever be mad over such a thing but let me see it after coming in from getting the mail and doing the dishes first thing upon waking (when he had all fucking day to do them) so I can cook something to eat and it's infuriating. So ridiculous... :-)

      Just a few more months left on the lease. Then I will leave. It's not worth fighting over now even though the way he blithely accepts this arrangement is really tempting me to. I hope I can afford living in this area by myself...

ADDENDUM: I noticed he recently got rid of his Chinese food container hoard. I loved washing those every day too. I guess better he use plasticware rather than my ceramic dishes since I've got it on good authority that there was a real possibility he would've broken at least one of my dishes by now. I've so far gone unscathed in that department (jinx!!!). But doing the dishes the other day, I've noticed he has a habit of using this utensil when making pasta dishes instead of a regular spoon.

Seriously, there is NO need to use this kind of spoon when making pasta for yourself. It's more of a serving spoon but he has a hard-on it seems for using it and especially with sticky, cheesy dishes. This is one of the hardest things to clean outside of a whisk with dried up egg...another utensil he has no business using unless you're trying to whip up like a dozen eggs at once. USE A FORK! If you're making long-stringed pasta for more than just you, this utensil is suitable for serving it. Otherwise, just dump it on your plate or use a spoon without all that surface area. Holy fuck...

I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part XV

"Travelin' Prayer" by Billy Joel

The first track off the Piano Man album, his second. It feels honest, sincere...and it has a certain admirable goofiness. It's always been a real toe-tapper for me and a great way to start my third favorite Billy Joel album (the first two being The Stranger and Glass Houses)

MY LAUGH FOR THE DAY

      There's some story about a likely fake nude picture of Selena Gomez that I saw on one of the aggregator sites I follow. They posted this picture:

One of the commenters on the story said that he wanted to see the uncensored pic. To which there was this response.....which made me laugh out loud. :-)

FILLER MATERIAL

      I had some things I've wanted to write about but I have since lost my focus. I feel a cold coming on and so I'm having trouble concentrating between sneezing and nasal leakage [yummy!]. Maybe I'll get to it later this week...maybe I won't. Blah, blah, blah post.

Asshole For Hire from James Van Der Beek

Here's a little something to make up for this lackluster entry

I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part XIV

"I'm Gonna Getcha" by Shania Twain

I dare you not to like this song in all its kitschy poppiness glory...and yeah, that video was pretty weird. I thought so too.

I THOUGHT STUDENTS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ALL LIBERAL AND STUFF

      Staying true to the name of this blog, this article came out late last year. It was about a female student in North Carolina who basically got expelled for bringing a paring knife to school. And the kicker to it all was that the knife wasn't even in her lunch...it was her father's lunch. The paring knife was intended to be used (by him) as a tool to cut apart the apple he packed for himself but that his daughter took to school accidentally.

      There are a lot of things in this article that both baffle me and piss me the fuck off.

      First of all, context anyone? Did nobody ask themselves why this girl had a tool knife with her before simply charging her with weapons possession. I assume she will be cleared on this charge seeing as how even from the article it's rather clear that this knife was not brought to school to be used on another person. Even if the lunch was in fact the student's, the knife was clearly meant to cut the apple and not human flesh. It's not a weapon if it's meant to be used as a tool. Even so, defending against this erroneous charge will cost her family money which even if they have the money to do so, is simply unfair to her.

      Further contextual points could be simply her student record. We know from the article that she is academically gifted, is an athlete, and has never been in trouble before. The first two are not particularly relevant but the last one is. Did nobody think to have a talk with this girl about why she had a knife in her possession? I'm not saying we should be bringing knives into school here, what I'm saying here is that the punishment should be at least related to the accused's intent and her intent was clearly not causing harm to another. Remember, even a pencil can be used as a weapon but most likely it's gonna be used as a tool for writing. Should students who sharpen their pencils to fine points instead of dull ones be considered threats? I mean, why else would they need such a sharp point if not for harming others? But no, she's been suspended for the rest of her school year, charged with misdemeanor weapons possession, and banned from the campus. All because nobody could take some fucking context into mind.

       The article doesn't say here if this student's punishment was the result of a "zero tolerance policy". In fact, it mentions that the principal does have authority to determine the punishment on a case-by-case basis. The superintendent points out (note the passing of the buck) that the punishment in such cases can be less severe when done accidentally and if the student reports it first to the principal and not a teacher but since this student was both unaware of the knife in the first place and was the victim of a random sweep for drugs, how could she have done so?

        That being said, this punishment does have the air of a zero-tolerance policy. Where did these policies come from? And they always start with bullshit rhetoric too that no one gets called out on. "Our school has a zero-tolerance policy towards drugs/violence/bullying/whatever" --- they say that like up until that point they did have a tolerance for it. We always have a zero-tolerance for bad things but that doesn't mean we codify it. How many car accidents do we have every year? How many people die as a result of them? So does that mean our tolerance for automobile fatalities is anything even close to 42,000 dead a year? No! The answer is we tolerate ZERO fatalities on the road every year...but they happen, and when they do we deal with them rationally: assigning blame, cleaning up the scene, assessing damage, etc. We don't go around banning cars because people die because of them every year. There'd be nothing left to do if we went around banning things in a zero-tolerance fashion simply because somebody could conceivably get hurt or die from its use or exposure to it or whatever. So how is it that schools can have "zero-tolerance" policies?

      No one wants to be bullied or bludgeoned or stabbed or etc. but it happens. The rational response is to assess the situation, find the context, restore order, and assign blame (not necessarily in that order). It is entirely irrational to simply say if you do this, you will be effectively expelled without regards to context; that you will not be given a chance to defend yourself, face your accusers, etc. Zero tolerance policies effectively kill discretion and discretion is a duty imposed upon those in positions of power. Police officers use it all the time. You know this when you weren't pulled over for going 66 mph. You know this whenever you were pulled over, that you weren't cited for what were probably a dozen separate violations that you didn't even know you were breaking. Teachers and principals are supposed to use discretion too.

       Based on the text of the article, it would seem to me the proper response would have been to assess the situation and figure out the context. It would not have taken more than a phone call to this girl's father to have him corroborate his daughter's side of the story. The principal would know that this girl had not had prior discipline problems and the school counselor would be able to say that her mental state was fine. She could still be scolded for having the knife on school grounds and I would not begrudge the school seizing it from her permanently (or at least until one of her parents came to pick it up). She should've been let off with a warning and the whole incident should've been kept quiet to preserve her reputation. Seems simple enough to me and even if the school had reporting requirements, no one needed to know. If more than one of the sweepers noticed it, then that's where the principal comes in and does his leadership thing in reminding them that the school is not a police state and that people do in fact make mistakes and that it's not worth ruining this girl's academic life and reputation in the name of zero-tolerance.

      And it's not like schools don't supply students with weapons. Remember using compasses to draw circles in art class? Good stabby weapon right there but ooh! a perfect circle (with a dot in its center). Shop class is full of hammers, awls, screwdrivers, powered sanders, saws, and routers perfect for bludgeoning, stabbing, and/or mutilating an annoying classmate. Home Ec. had knives, fire, boiling water. Hell, I handled fucking nitric acid in Chemistry class. Do you have any idea what that would do if it got on your skin or in your eyes? [And those guillotine paper cutters in art class. What kind of medieval schools did I attend growing up?] Or do they not have Shop and Home Economics anymore because of zero tolerance policies?

       But that's obviously not what happened which brings me to the students. What the fuck? Seriously... Does nobody protest anymore? It's not like this was grade school and they wouldn't know better, this is fucking high school. At the very minimum, did nobody petition the school? Did no group of students show support for this girl by bringing in paring knives of their own the next day (non-threateningly of course, or even plastic knives if you wanna be a pussy about it)? How hard is that to protest a stupid rule? They can't suspend like twenty or thirty students over this and to that degree. It would embarrass the school and create the perception that they cannot control their students. Students DIED protesting the Vietnam war, they staged walkouts over dress codes when my father was in school (boys used to have to maintain crew cuts and wear button-down shirts and dress pants; girls had to have skirts and blouses) and a lot of them got in trouble...but they also got the rules overturned. The students in this school should be ashamed of themselves acting like sheep. They're just simple herd animals aren't they? This is the future of America folks...they've been trained well by their overprotective parents and oppressive school system into being afraid to express themselves, afraid to compete with each other, and afraid to stand up for themselves. It's really fucking sad.

      And I don't really want to hear that it's against the law to bring weapons to school. No one's contesting that. What I'm contesting is the overapplication of arbitrary rules and regulations. Just like not all pushing can be considered fighting (sometimes it's just horseplay) and not all teasing can be considered bullying (sometimes it really is done out of love) and not all taunts can be considered malicious (sometimes it really is just a competitive spirit), a teacher upon seeing that a student is in possession of a banned item/substance/behavior should do his duty and interfere. However the path from interference to punishment should not be so clear-cut. It's not an A to B thing. As humans we believe in context otherwise we would all be Inspector Javerts. Sometimes a "knock it off!" or a "put that away" or a "tone it down" is really the appropriate response. If a student is pointing a chicken finger as a mock gun at a student, he shouldn't be suspended. The correct response would seem to be "knock it off". Personally I used to draw pictures of me shooting things in school inspired by movies like Star Wars and video games like Missile Command (yes, I'm old). Today a student doing the same thing would be suspended. I kid you not when I say that I handed in for Thanksgiving when I was in first grade, a drawing I made of a Pilgrim shooting a turkey, bullet in transit. In 1984 that was cute. I hesitate to think what that would've earned me if I were six today.

       Saying it's all "zero tolerance" is really just passing the buck. It's basically saying "I'm a leader, but I don't want to have to do any of that pesky leading stuff". Teachers, principals, and really anyone who's in positions of authority should always be against zero tolerance policies as it deprives them of their ability to lead. It makes a mockery of their position, not only marginalizing them but placing them increasingly under the burdens of micromanagement. Why should a student trust his teacher with anything if the teacher is merely a tool of the establishment? Zero tolerance policies foster the idea that schools are police states and that teachers and principals are merely enforcers and to be feared. Why would I tell a teacher about something that's bothering me (e.g. I'm aware that another student is going to beat up after school or the case where a student took a knife away from a suicidal student and got suspended for it) if I fear that what I say may simply come back to haunt me. The Fifth Amendment protects against self-incrimination...but not at school apparently. Teachers are supposed to be trusted, not feared and zero tolerance policies do nothing to promote trust in authority figures.

      Ach, I'm too annoyed to continue...but I'll end with this, is it ironic that I have zero tolerance for zero tolerance...or merely hypocritical? :-)

I DON'T WANNA GO BACK IN JUST YET!

      My emotions are at a balance point. I feel I go either way and that is, either climb out of it to a more positive-neutral mood or descend into a depression whose severity cannot be known yet. So far, I feel I might be okay...I devised a plan which should keep me going for another couple of days. We'll see.

      I'm suffering a crisis of faith with Digby. I don't feel I can hold back anymore and continue on with my slow-as-molasses nudging. She's already looking for new work and if she succeeds, it will deny me my easy access to her. Also her father wants to move back to Pennsylvania next year and although she's unsure what she would like to do when that point comes, it's still putting me in panic mode. It's mild still but I can already feel the stressors building. I have to make my move soon and face the inevitable consequences.

      Understand, I want us to work. I want that more than anything right now. For once I'm confident in our compatibility unlike the others before her whom I've since given up on of my own free will (as opposed to the others who left before I felt comfortable moving or where I left before doing so). However, I'm equally confident that she will have nothing to do with me. It's truly a rock and a hard place: If I do nothing, my hope will decay into self-loathing and if I do something, my heart is almost 100% likely to be shattered again and an unknown amount of time will pass before it is healed again. (The last few were 2 months, 9 months, and 15 months so this doesn't bode well. I could be facing 1½-2 years before I am better again). Decay or shatter...what a choice!

      And strangely, all this comes at a time when I'm far less skittish about touching her. She hugged me (at my behest) on New Years and I have twice since touched her on the shoulder and back with only light hesitation. Neither time has she reacted in such a way that would tell me to stop that. She's warm to the touch...

      It fucking sucks. I've had no one to distract me from her since I first laid eyes on her 3½ years ago. There were some who could have, I remember them...but they're gone now. When I'm transfixed, I won't let go...but I can be pried off with effort. However that effort must originate in the other since it won't with me regardless of crises of faith. It is these notably absent efforts that feed my low self-esteem and feelings of self-loathing. It is the constant failure to realize my hopes that lead to frequent demoralizations and have contributed to such a great erosion of self-confidence in my psyche.

      I feel compelled to make a move this week. I've decided to temper my destructive desires to move immediately by forcing myself to wait. She's off work Monday and gets out late on Tuesday. I can attempt a texting conversation. If that succeeds, perhaps by Thursday (when she's off again) I can go for it. If the day off texting fails...I don't wanna think about that yet.

      Either way, the cage I felt I had escaped from just over a month ago I may soon find myself locked in again. I already feel the weights gaining mass about my neck, pressuring me to hold my head down. My good spirits may soon be expired returning me to the familiar and comfortable dark valleys of my mind. Too bad life isn't like TV...I could really use a last minute save right about now.

ADDENDUM: Shortly after posting this entry I got a call from Bronx and shortly thereafter that, a call from the Mystic. I like talking to Bronx a lot. She's got a voice you definitely have to hear as she has this combination of peppiness, curiosity, and (I mean this positively...if you know the right word, I'll change it) naïveté that always can put me in good spirits...and she did. The Mystic wasn't feeling too good about herself. I wished I could've helped her feel better as she was able to do for me simply by causing me to drop my bullshit for a little while. Nothing like the urgency from a friend in need to get me to set aside my petty troubles. I have to say, I'm actually very happy for the friends I have now. Too bad you're all so scattered. Best Friend, Mystic, Vegan, Bronx, and the others whose aliases I haven't yet conjured...I love you all. Let's end this on a hokey note, shall we?

I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part XIII

"I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross

What can I say? Some disco chords are catchy as hell. I wonder how many more weeks of this I can do before I run out of easy ones? :-)

FUN WAS HAD BECAUSE I WAS TIRED...

      Yesterday at about 3:30 p.m., which is about halfway through my sleep period, I got two texts in-a-row from a friend regarding something important. That's why I leave my phone on even when I'm sleeping. I do it for you guys. Everyone else is silenced. I haven't come up with an alias for this friend yet but thankfully, this friend's pseudo identity isn't necessary for this post.

      Anyways, I heard the text alert and sleepily reached for my phone to see who it was. But I didn't grab my phone, I grabbed my camera. I spent the better part of a minute fiddling with my camera and its settings wondering why it was I couldn't find the text message before it dawned on me that I had grabbed the wrong device. I found it amusing that my hands clearly "knew" I was holding my camera. I didn't try to open it like I would with my phone. I pushed the correct buttons to navigate the camera's menus. But eventually it clicked and I lived alone with my stupidity...until now of course. :-)

LINE OF THE DAY, part V

From an article in the New York Times titled "G.O.P. Asks Businesses Which Rules to Rewrite" by Binyamin Appelbaum, I saw this comment on cnbc.com by The_Mick:

Notice there's not a single thought of asking the consumers which laws need rewrites!

The businesses will surely complain about truth in advertising laws, product liability laws, employee safety responsibility, etc.

How do the Democrats keep losing? The Republicans are a walking talking hypocrisy. It's so easy to call them out on EVERYTHING and yet, they persist as a party of the little people despite the fact that I can't think of thing they've done for the little people, a thing that they've fought for for the little people since Richard Nixon (he gave us the EPA and OSHA...give credit where it's due)

No, the consumers don't get fucked over every chance possible. And I think what pisses me off even more is that there's no real cultural memory of how it used to be anymore. You have people who are so fucking retarded they refuse to vaccinate their children thinking that the VACCINES are the problem and not the diseases they prevent. Those diseases with those cutesy names like measles, mumps, whooping cough, and polio are dangerous, extremely contagious, and sometimes DEADLY. Vaccines aren't perfect and I'm sorry if your kid was adversely affected but it was determined long ago that sacrificing a few so that all could survive without exposure was more important. The public's need to not be exposed to deadly pathogens overrides your desires.

Consumers don't remember being sold products whose additives were not disclosed or even proven safe for consumption. Paint used to have lead because it made the colors brighter (among other reasons which given the even then-known dangers of lead are unjustifiable). You risked your mental health for a brighter yellow or white. Imagine that! Candy too used to have heavy metal additives for the same reason (in the comment section of the link). You had treatments and cures being peddled whose ingredients had not been tested to see if they actually worked and may in fact have done more harm than good. (for some reason, they're all over the vitamin section in supermarkets again with the hard-to-find disclaimer "THIS PRODUCT HAS NOT BEEN EVALUATED BY THE FDA AND IS NOT INTENDED TO DIAGNOSE, TREAT, OR CURE ANY DISEASE"). Factories were full of dangerous equipment with non-existent to minimal safety standards (lost your arm?, you're fired). Food safety was virtually non-existent. But because we were born into these standards, we can hardly be blamed for assuming they were always around. However, we would be wrong in assuming that they are sacrosanct.

Okay, I'm drifting in this rant, so I'll stop now. :-)

I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part XII

"Putting On the Ritz" by Taco

The original version performed by Fred Astaire never really worked for me. Don't get me wrong, he puts every man to shame with his ability to dance but it was Taco who I feel captured (musically at least, that video is bizarre) the spirit of the song. I guess I've only heard radio edits in recent years. I didn't remember the song going on quite as long as it did. And what's with the blackface in the video? I mean seriously! Even in 1983 that was horrifyingly racist. Either way, enjoy the song. Irving Berlin, its author, certainly did.