I feel like I should've written about this very soon after it had happened if only for clarity of memory but alas, I did not (also, I seem to be WAY behind posting the very few things I still do write for this blog!)
Some weeks back, I was asked to come over early on a Friday to babysit Best Friend's daughter and I did, because I love that child dearly. The day looked to be nice weather-wise as well as humidity-wise (and finally too...this Summer had been so brutal!) so we filled up the kiddie pool outside in case the child wanted to play in it (SPOILER ALERT: she totally did want to).
I was given a list of things to do with her to keep her occupied and told what foods to offer her for lunch when the time came. All was well. The Child wanted to go outside before mommy left and so out we went and naturally, she wanted immediately in the pool so mommy got her bathing suit and into the pool she went!
Shortly thereafter, mommy had to go and she left me in charge. I kept an eye on her in the pool and when she was done with that, she wanted to play on her swing set/slide. After clearing some ambitious cobwebs and changing her back into her dry clothes (which thankfully she also had outside), I pushed her on the swing for a long time because she just loves chilling on that thing. Not a care in the world, I suppose (although she does demand I push her higher and giggles every time she gets high enough for the chain to go slack and I say, "CHONK!!!" along with the noise that immediately follows)
Eventually, though, the Child tells me she's hungry and I say, "Okay, let's go inside and get something to eat!" I try the sliding glass door...and it's locked. Mommy absent-mindedly locked the door on us! Undeterred, I took the Child with me around to the front door hoping against hope and, of course, it too had been locked.
My phone was inside so I wouldn't be able to reach mommy but since this wasn't an emergency, I didn't immediately start going to neighbors' houses in an effort to get them to help us (thank goodness I got my best friend's phone number before I got a cellphone: I still know it by heart!). I leveled with the Child and told her that mommy had locked us out; that we couldn't go inside so we would have to wait for mommy to come home before we could eat.
She seemed okay with this and I then took it upon myself to let the Child do whatever the fuck she wanted for however long she wanted (obviously nothing that would endanger her!) to keep her mind off the fact we weren't going to be going inside any time soon.
Some of those things involved (because I'll never understand how a three year old thinks) gathering up the loose asphalt pebbles from her driveway and carrying them over to a planter to deposit them over and over again (repetition, thy name is every fucking child who has ever been :-) ). There's little shade in the front yard and neither of us were wearing sunscreen but whenever I suggested we go back into the backyard to be in shade, she would say flatly in that darling little voice of hers, "No." :-)
It made me laugh when I'd go to sit on the porch in the shade and she'd get up from her place in the sun to walk over to me, holding out her hand and repeating to me something she probably saw happen in her daycare, "Smile! Don't be upset. Tell me what's wrong! It's going to be alright," like she was a therapist. It was so cute.
Another was picking leaves off trees so that she could give one to each of her stuffed animal friends. I at least got to show her how to pluck leaves without tearing them (grab the leaf by its stem: the way she repeated "stem" makes me think I had taught her a new word). I also got to carry her for long lengths of time and every time I asked to put her down because my arm was getting tired she would say flatly in that darling little voice of hers, "No." :-)
I showed her what it looked like over all the tall fences bordering her yard. We chased each other around. We did Spins (where I hold her sideways facing outwards and spin 720 degrees in one direction and then 720 degrees in the other direction so I don't get dizzy) until she tired of it. Then we did "Whee!" whereby I gently toss her up and catch her until I couldn't toss her anymore. We even managed to do a piggyback ride after I figured out how to get her on my shoulders without someone else's help. We chased after a ball together and "somehow" she would always beat me to it at the last dramatic moment. And sometimes she'd give me a break by playing in the pool again.
Unfortunately I also didn't have my wallet so we couldn't go on an adventure to a local store to buy some food so we were stuck getting hungry together. But when she asked for milk, I had the idea to teach her the age-old rite of passage that is drinking from a garden hose and, to my joy, she loved it and then she played with the garden hose for a while watering various things and whenever I suggested we should turn off the hose so as not to waste water, she would say flatly in the darling little voice of hers, "No." because damn it, this girl was on a mission! What that mission was is anyone's guess and that guess would surely be wrong because who the hell understands the particular curiosities of a three year old? Not me, that's for sure. But it kept her occupied and distracted which was the point :-)
Periodically she would whimper that she wanted her mommy to come home and one time when I said back, "I know, I wish mommy would come home too," meaning her mother obviously but the child misinterpreted me. She thought I was talking about my mother and incredulously replied, "Your mommy doesn't live here!"
Some of the neighbor's kids were playing in their backyard. The Child wanted to see them so I held her up high and she shouted to them, "Hi neighbors!" and they didn't reply which, I admit, annoyed me. Who doesn't say hello to a three year old?!
But after some more leaf gathering and her wanting her mommy, I noticed her yawning and asked if she wanted to lie down. To my surprise, the kid who never wants to nap anymore said yes. Thankfully, her parents have lawn furniture and one of those pieces was a love seat I then cleared leaf debris from and lay on with the child on my chest. I had to drape my legs over the arm rests and they immediately lost circulation. I asked the Child if she was okay and ever-so-cutely told me, "I'm comfortable," and then like a goddamned cat, fell immediately asleep. I am so jealous of her ability to do that!
I don't know how long we laid there. I almost fell asleep myself before realizing I was supposed to be keeping watch! My neck wasn't doing so great but I was able to move it without waking her. I spent that 30-60 minutes watching the sun dapple through the leaves above and those same leaves sway in the breezes. I listened to bird calls and squirrel noises and the next door neighbor kids playing and then suddenly I felt my chest get very warm, then wet. The Child peed on me in her sleep!
I woke her up and she did not like that. She wailed for several minutes before I was able to soothe her and then, by dumb luck, I saw movement in her house. Mommy had (finally) come home...and she had brought grandma with her too. The Child and I were both happy to finally get the fuck inside. I told mommy that she had locked us out; that we haven't eaten; and to give the Child whatever she wants (and she got her ravioli and crackers and juice and even cookies to eat for her late lunch) while I cleaned up.
But I was proud of the Child. She handled this unexpected circumstance with a surprising maturity and poise. For my part, I got only mildly sunburned (somehow: I was expecting way worse) and the most mosquito bites I've gotten in many years. I'm sure I was a veritable buffet holding the child still on my chest in the shade :-)
Needless to say, I will always be carrying my keys with me henceforth!
