BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE MAY HAVE FOUND THIS AMERICAN DAD QUOTE FUNNY...

     The B-story of the American Dad episode, "The Adventures of Twill Ongenbone and His Boy Jabari" which originally aired on January 13, 2013 had Steve Smith attempting to do an assignment for his history class of learning about history from interviewing his father, Stan. Stan is not the type to open up on even impersonal matters face-to-face, but at the suggestion of one of Steve's friends, he called his father betting on the idea that if there's a space between him and his dad, he'll be more likely to open up and open up Stan did, revealing his multiple daily internal struggles without any more prodding than a hello.
     Stan first talked his career as a CIA operative, confessing how easy he now finds it to kill people. Whereas his original targets scarred him mentally, he is now able to think about dinner plans while carrying out assassinations.
      The next phone call had Stan revealing that he questions his lovemaking to his wife how it went from once being passionate to now, mechanical. Steve tried to hang up the phone, but was prevented by his friends who tackled and subdued him, leaving them to ask more about Francine and her body, much to Steve's disgust and horror.
      The third call came about when Steve's teacher accused Steve of lying about not doing the project when he claimed his father was uncooperative. He called his teacher out by calling his father in the middle of class and putting him on speaker phone (something Steve announced to his father). He asked Stan who the President was when he was young to which Stan replied with, "I don't know, who cares? I guess I think about killing myself pretty frequently and why not? What's so great about living? You know when I'm happy? For about five seconds in the morning when I first wake up. Before I remember who I am and what my life is all about: Anxiety...disappointment...diarrhea more often than not. (sighs) I don't know if there's an afterlife but who cares? Nothingness couldn't be any worse than this meaningless march through my empty days... (Steve hangs up the phone)"
      Steve turns to his teacher who has now positioned himself by the window exclaiming that Stan is right and that life is meaningless. He declares, "Life dismissed!" and throws himself out the window.

      Yes, the monologue is very depressing, but in context was hilarious. No, I'm not suicidal and I hope you're not either but I also made what Stan said into a handy-dandy Demotivational Poster for easy sharing. The preceding text was all for search engine purposes like printing all the lyrics to the Pillbugs' song "Greeting Committee" because that song, in my opinion, needs to be found.

Without further ado, here's your Demotivational Poster: Life Dismissed

You're welcome.