BLACK HOLE SUN...

     This is undoubtedly something I should've written over a month ago while my memories of the event were still fresh but not only did I take my first real vacation in over 25 years last August, I also got to see what will hopefully not be my only total solar eclipse. Though I was primarily visiting North Carolina, staying with a hosting family, I traveled to a town called Blythewood in South Carolina to witness the event.
     We really could not have asked for a better location to view it. Though we did not get the maximum totality possible for South Carolina, we did get about 1.5 minutes worth and as can be expected, that was a very quick 90 seconds...

Blythewood Park in Blythewood, SC

A friendly family we got to share the experience with made this

     The host family and I arrived about an hour before first contact. We found a nice park with good open space and a variety of land textures (it had a mix of grass, baseball fields, a playground for the kids, sand, asphalt, and trees for shade) which would later prove fortuitous.

courtesy of Google Maps

     I had originally planned on not taking pictures at all but the slow-motion nature of the event prompted me to experiment.
     This was my first real good use of the digital camera my Mom had bought me back in 2014 for Christmas. Unlike my previous camera which only allowed certain features to be tuned manually, this camera allows all its features to be controlled manually. This proved important as setting a fixed shutter speed and being able to manually focus were very much necessary, especially near and during totality when the once slow-motion events proceeded at what now felt like a lightning pace. Simply put, there is no way my previous digital camera could've captured the kinds of photos I did get.

     I had built a crude rig to fix the eclipse viewers to my camera and lens at maximum zoom and while it worked, it was cumbersome to remove and replace so I opted for simply holding the eclipse viewers in the path of my camera's lens. I didn't bring a tripod which, in retrospect, would have come in handy as it got darker but I'm nevertheless happy with what I did get.
     I also brought my darkest moon viewer (13% transmission) hoping I could've used that instead to get a more proper white sun than the amber one the eclipse glasses show but that element proved woefully inadequate: the sun still looks like a diffraction spike explosion even at my camera's fastest shutter speed and highest f-stop setting. Eclipse viewers it would be!

(12:45 p.m.) left: sun through moon filter - right: sun through eclipse viewers at same scale

     The park wasn't crowded at all. Probably no more than fifty people chose this particular location which I'd have to say was a good thing as it allowed for much freedom of movement even though I found myself happy to stick to the shade in between photographs.
     We were also lucky to have both relatively cloud-free skies throughout the event and temperatures which, while hot, were not the humidity hell the South is known for.

(12:47 p.m.) some revelers

(12:47 p.m.) additional revelers

(12:45 p.m.) pre-show: total sun at 3x magnification

     The sun's disk was unfortunately bland. There were no giant sunspot groups like could be seen a couple of years ago. It would've provided an interesting contrast but I guess one can't have everything ;-)
 

Giant sunspot group from October 2014 (even though, had it been there, the Moon would've blotted it out immediately)

      First contact happened some time after 1 o'clock. In the first sequence posted below, I was trying to find an appropriate focus and shutter speed. The first image told me I couldn't rely on autofocus so I switched to manual thereafter and I increased the shutter speed in subsequent shots, settling on 1/1000th of a second. I let the camera choose the f-stop and I noticed for all the shots taken through the eclipse viewer, it had selected an f-stop of 2.8.

first sequence

     I'm still not comfortable guessing an appropriate f-stop which is unfortunate as certain photos taken later that weren't of the sun but the darkening scenery around would've benefited I think from both a fixed shutter speed and f-stop. Oh well...
     Things seemed perfectly normal during this part of the eclipse, its Pac-Man phase. The kids that were with us and with other families had already become predictably bored, some opting to return to the park's playground. In fact, I would say everyone who had come at this point in our group except me had become bored. But the adults at least stuck it out and were making friendly conversation with other families at the park.

second sequence

     During this part of the eclipse (the second sequence) I noticed that, while the illumination from the sun was still bright, it no longer felt hot to be out in.

(2:15 p.m.) the halo and spikes are camera artifacts and were not actually visible

     However, even with more than half the sun blotted out, it is still painful to look at and shows no noticeable deviation from its round shape to the unaided eye (though some deviation could be seen in my eye's after-images for several seconds afterward).
     It reminded me of an annular eclipse that happened while I was in school back in '94. I remember peeking up at the sun through a window I opened in the hallway maybe twenty minutes before the area around us darkened considerably. While for only a moment, I recall the after-image of the sun in my eye showing a large chunk taken out of it by the Moon.

margin drawing I made of what I saw back on May 10, 1994

     But back in South Carolina, what could be seen by the end of the second sequence was a noticeable dimming in the sun's illumination. By this point, it looked as though someone had been fiddling with the contrast knob on an old TV, turning it to its lowest setting.

2:19 p.m.

      Throughout the third sequence, you could feel it growing noticeably cooler and the light continued to slowly fade...

third sequence

      I decided to take another shot of the sun without the eclipse viewers and while that sliver of sun was still too bright to look at for any length of time unaided, the light you could see was now deforming from the circular (even more so in my eye's after-images)...

2:33 p.m.

2:21 p.m. - revelers checking out the ever-darkening sky

2:25 p.m. - shadows were becoming sharper too

      What stands out to me in that photo is the string attached to my lens cap. It's normally not visible at all under a full sun. In the minutes before totality, I could see the hairs on my leg each casting their own shadow. Unfortunately I did not get a picture of that nor did I get a picture later of me in a similar pose under a full sun to show the difference so you'll have to take my word for it that yes, shadows get very well defined the smaller the source of the light becomes.

2:28 p.m. - I felt bad for anyone stuck watching the eclipse under those clouds

2:38 p.m. - getting darker

     With the Moon's umbral shadow nearly upon us, things had grown considerably darker and everyone was getting excited, even those who had been bored or uninterested from the start.

fourth sequence

     By the end of this sequence, the sun was no longer painful to look at and everyone waited anxiously for totality. Our host had an app on her phone that alerted us to keep an eye out for shadow bands and sure enough, because we were on a bright patch of sand, we could see them. I got no pictures or video of them but they were cool to look at. These little wavy shadows were all around us but most plainly visible on the sand. It reminded me of the ripples of air you can see coming off a roadway on a hot Summer's day (or those from a radiator near frigid air).
     And just like that they disappeared and the sun's light had shrunk to a pinprick.
     The last two photos in that sequence used the camera's automatic settings for shutter speed and both used its maximum f-stop value of 16. The 2:40 p.m. one had a shutter speed of 1/3200th of a second while the 2:41 p.m. picture was 1/1000th of a second so a proper comparison of the sun's increasingly rapid dimming isn't possible. The leisurely pace of the eclipse was now giving way to blink-and-you'll-miss-it moments.
     I'm not a professional and there simply wasn't time.

2:41 p.m. - I got lucky and snagged a diamond ring

2:42 p.m. - totality

     Suddenly everyone was in awe and I have to admit, the best part was that it was not a silent awe. The commonest refrain was, of course, "Oh my God!" but the excitement of everyone there was electrifying. The sky was like that of twilight but the camera would not capture that. It instead presented a picture of total blackness like that of night which wasn't the case. The now visible corona too, could not ever be properly captured...at least not in a single shot.
     Never discount your eyes' ability to adapt to its surroundings as well as their ability to show contrasts. The solar corona was much bigger than anything I captured on my data card. I would say it was about 3 moons wide and 2 moons tall and while colors are not my thing, the sight was certainly ethereal and deeply moving.

2:43 p.m. - totality: slightly longer shutter time and the most I could tease out with a photo editor

      I mean, when you think about it, all it is that you're experiencing is being caught in a shadow. It happens all the time when a cloud passes over the sun and every day at sunset and yet, while it's the same thing, it's so very different because it's a shadow that's not possible to cast from an Earthly vantage point. You can blot out the sun with just your finger but its illumination still fills the sky and it certainly does not make the corona visible. When the sun sets, its light is still reflected and refracted throughout the atmosphere.
     But the Moon, when the Moon does it, the shadow is coming from a source above the atmosphere, something that no other shadow you've experienced can do. It's a surreal experience and it really does affect you. One particular joy I felt during totality was simply the ability to look directly at where the sun was supposed to be and not having it be blindingly bright. It felt subversive...like I was getting away with something :-)
     During this time, I took a quick survey of the sky and caught sight of both Jupiter and Venus. I almost missed Venus because it was nearly obscured by the trees we were using for shade. I made no attempt to photograph them with the eclipsed sun: there simply wasn't time for something like that and both planets were well separated from the sun. I think a star or two showed up in some of my totality photos but I really can't be sure if they weren't random noise.
     But I'm also ashamed to say I didn't take it in as much as I should have, choosing instead to photograph it both for my posterity (and aphantasia) and for the benefit of friends and family who could not see it for themselves.

     Once I reached shutter speeds too slow for me to get a clear image of the solar corona, I switched it to video and recorded the sun's re-emergence. In retrospect, this is where my old camera would've come in handy. I could've set it upon our car and just let it record the people's reaction to totality in its entirety while using my good camera as I had.
     I also feel, again in retrospect, that I should've chanced a higher ISO setting for my totality pictures. I almost always keep the setting at its lowest, in this case 100, but maybe if I had chanced a setting of 400 or 800, I could've gotten some of the nearby stars to show up and maybe have gotten a hint of color in the sky. But it's not important. What's important is that my photos of totality looked better than literally everyone's smartphone version of it on Instagram :-P
     Again, I regret not simply watching. That was the reason behind my not wanting to take photographs in the first place. It was always the top recommendation for people for whom this was their first eclipse: just watch it. There's another one in 2024. Maybe I'll be able to see that one. Perhaps even with the same friends I got to see this one with. It'll pass through Dallas, Texas and I'd like to think they'd want to check that city out. It'll last longer too and I think that time, assuming I get it, I'll just watch...

     The video was taken at 2:43 p.m. as the eclipse ended. I'm sorry it's shaky but I was really more interested in watching what was left of totality than making sure I was holding the camera steady. I'm sure you understand but it does capture a few fleeting moments in time when a group of strangers were all suddenly interested in something going on in the sky and I'm glad I got to share that with them.

2:44 p.m. - some selected frame captures from the above video

2:44 p.m. - getting too bright to look at anymore

final sequence

     Even that teeny-tiny little sliver at 2:45 p.m. was painful to look at. It truly was a reminder about what they say regarding solar eclipses: It's all about totality! Because yeah, that's the life-changing, looking into the face of a Vorlon moment. Everything else is merely changes in lighting...

2:49 p.m. - ...and little sun crescents shining through gaps in the leaves

The eclipse as seen from where I live was far less dramatic and nearly clouded out

      Once the sun came back out, I knew there would be no persuading everyone to hang around for the official end of the eclipse so I didn't even try and like everyone else there, we all got back on the road at the same time.
      The last picture I got after third contact was taken through both the eclipse viewers and the car's window. The show was completely over by the time we got home.

     And while there certainly was traffic on the road heading back home, they all kept moving at a fair pace and did not jam up, a bonus I'm sure for the host family kind enough to drive us all the hour or so it took to get there.
     All in all, I'm very happy to have gotten the experience and I hope to get to see another solar eclipse before I die. It's a shame they don't happen on a more regular basis. But I did get to see this one and that can't be taken from me :-)

ODE TO STAPLES...

     My body doesn't make any goddamned sense.

     Sometimes when I take a week off from work, after resting for a few days, I'll go for a long walk around my area to take a look around...sight-see if you will. It'll be a long walk, maybe twelve or so miles, and I'll come home with my legs hurting. I'll sleep extra long that night and be sore the following day.

     Yesterday, after eight hours of sleep I walked two miles to work. I then spent eight hours on my feet, cleaning, and walking around throughout the store on various tasks. I had intended that day, after work, to go to Staples to pick up some CD-Rs and jewel cases (I'm old...shut up) in an effort not to do all of my shopping on Amazon. It would be, at most, a doubling of my usual two mile walk home.


     However, to my surprise, that Staples store had shuttered since I was last there (curiously for the same purchase...I was old then too so shut up). Since I had already made up my mind to do this, I walked a few extra miles to another Staples location that I had remembered only to find that it too had been shuttered.
     Luck was not on my side nor was the weather as it had grown suddenly cold overnight and while my coats and shoes were up to the task, my pants were not.

     Undaunted, but starting to wonder if Staples had gone out of business and I had somehow overlooked that fact in my internetting, and stubbornly I continued to one last place I knew a Staples to be. Thankfully that location was still there and they were not in the midst of a Going Out of Business Sale so I was more a well-intentioned victim of downsizing I'd say as well as about six miles from home and now in the middle of a snow squall.
     Yeah, the weather was all kinds of cold and crazy that day.

     But I made my purchases which seemed a lot more expensive than they ought to have been (Amazon may yet win this war...) and set off for home. Boston Chicken would prove the beneficiary of my hunger as McDonald's, while it will offer all-day-breakfast, still does not sell hamburgers and McNuggets in the morning. I work overnights: morning is dinnertime for me! No respect for the graveyard shift...

     Unlike my vacation walks, I made this unexpected journey laden for half of it. Based on my walking speed and the amount of time I was out there, I estimate I walked about twelve miles not including the two I did to get to work and the unknown amount of distance I covered on the clock doing returns so maybe fifteen miles total for the day. I then ended up staying awake for thirty hours before finally crashing, sleeping for less than eight.

      And yet now, despite all that, not only did I not arrive home sore, I feel fine now and like I could do it all again today.

     I don't get it either...

DIDN'T QUIT WHILE I WAS AHEAD...

     Two Sundays ago I went gambling for the first time in my life. My cousin and his wife invited me to go to Atlantic City for the day. I took the night off work leading me to tell my coworkers that my gambling goal would be to win my lost wages. The trip down was disappointing in that it's very boring. I had no idea New Jersey has so many trees. The parkway is just an unbroken line of trees on one side and another unbroken line of trees on the other. It was only shortly before our destination that it opened up into what looked like salt marshes and a bay with electricity-generating giant windmills.

ON ANY OTHER DAY YOU WOULD BE WRONG BUT TODAY...TODAY IS A VERRRY DIFFERENT DAY

     No matter what happens next, whether it be short or long in duration or even if only an anomaly, an old personal dæmon has been wounded, possibly mortally so. I've waited almost twenty-one years for this day and June 24th, 2012 was it. No matter what happens, the old narrative has been corrupted and can no longer be fallen upon in times of distress. It's been ruined.

     Yes, I got a date. She even called it one of her own, unpressured accord so I can't even hide behind technicalities. Yes, she's cute and attractive, touchy-feely, and even commands my finicky mind's attention and curiosity. We saw each other again yesterday and with luck, this will continue, but even if it does not...it won't matter. A line has been drawn and I cannot cross back. Awesome.

      Suck it, depression!

GOOD'S INFLUENCE OVER BAD...

      See, I still have a few negatively-themed entries in the pipeline. I write down starter thoughts (usually while depressed, sad, frustrated, or simply angry) on slips of paper at work and get around to them whenever on here. Some never see the light of day...the mood either passed or too much time had gone by for me to care anymore.

       One such negative entry will be written about. I don't see why it wouldn't. It's an interesting idea for me that I'd like to see written out. The thought starter is I am comparing myself to an endangered species...not to a particular species, but as a concept. There's another, slightly related to it thematically, where I was lamenting that I would only ever be worthy of a girl who is older and has realized she has exhausted her options and is now willing to settle for a schlub like me. That entry will probably never see the light of day given the recent loss of my catalyzer Digby. I can't see myself getting into a deep enough funk to want to hate on myself in another Inimandvs entry. I also have something tentatively titled "Fame Hypothesis" that I would have to explore. I made a notation after someone commented on Kim Kardashian's frequent appearances on magazine covers, wondering if it was now illegal for her not to be on at least one. The thought starter to be elaborated on was, "the amount of exposure required to keep your name in our collective memory is inversely proportional the stability of your fame." Neil Armstrong was listed as a genuinely famous counter-example to Kim Kardashian. I look forward to writing that entry. But not tonight...

      I actually went to New York City for the first time alone in my life yesterday to meet for the first time, my friend of several years, Bronx. The bus arrived very late so I immediately felt bad for her since I knew she was waiting. She also doesn't have a cellphone so it's not like I could text her that I was gonna be late. She later told me that she was wondering if she were being stood up but believed strongly that I would never do something like that to her (thank goodness!) so she continued to wait in the Port Authority Bus Terminal. When I finally did arrive, neither she nor I knew that I would not be arriving at a specific gate so we had no idea where we were gonna be. We did finally catch up to each other but not before passing each other several times. I noted her first, but my visual memory sucking the way it does, I didn't stop the girl I suspected to ask and instead went for the old stand-by, "Eh, she'll recognize me first." Turns out she did, but not after both me and her continuing to wander around the station a bit more. When she did recognize me, she came in for a hug, which I weakly gave both out of surprise (didn't know she would) and because I didn't want to come across as weird. A firm, first handshake might be good with men, but what does a firm (in this case, take "firm" to mean a full embrace rather than a "teepee hug"), first hug mean to a woman? Would that have been a good thing for me to have done? In retrospect, this initial meeting could have been coordinated better like me telling her what I was wearing (and vice-versa) or even the old cutesy stand-by of her carrying a sign with my name on it.

      But whatever, we joined up and left the station to walk to a mostly vegan vegetarian restaurant she likes to frequent. I don't know the area at all so I asked that she bring me somewhere. I was surprised to find that city blocks are not as large as I thought they were. We went easily 32 blocks to our destination, but it didn't take long at all. I guess New York City is big, but not that big. Anyways... I'm neither vegan nor vegetarian so I ordered conservatively avoiding any of the soy-meat options given my experiences with the stuff before (my store doesn't sell plain TVP, so if you don't counter-marinade it or boil those awful flavors out, it's almost inedible on its own, but in soup, like a spongy, tasteless chicken nugget). The waiter asked if I wanted any (faux) chicken, pork, or beef. I went with "chicken". The stir-fry lo mein that I ordered was generously sized and the side order of playing-it-safe french fries was very good. I saw on the menu an option for fried soy-chicken. I'll have to try that the next time I go there be it with Bronx, or even just on my own. I wonder what breaded and fried soy meat tastes like? It didn't help with eggplant, something my father used to fry, but maybe the frying oils make the soy meat taste good instead of merely tolerable. I think I noticed my soy chicken more because its flavor didn't seem to match the overall flavor of the lo mein noodle dish, but it wasn't awful like my store's brand. Bronx got a soy chicken mango marinade something or other and she enjoyed her meal too. She suggested we go dutch on the meal though I paid more than half because I left the tip.

       From there we wandered around a bit until we got to Washington Square Park and there we lounged for several hours people watching and occasionally chatting. Bronx was tired from several days of not sleeping well so we took it easy, snapped a few photographs of each other, but mostly just took in the local atmosphere from a shaded bench. A television series was being filmed called "Point of Interest" which in the words of one of the set photographers was sold to us beautifully as, "Just another crime drama." Ooh! Can't wait to tune into that! I wonder if we'll be out of focus in the background of any of the shots they had filmed that day? We each got something to drink from a vendor, but she wouldn't let me pay for her. It came out to five dollars total. I paid the man with a five dollar bill and Bronx gave me two dollars like it would be crazy to have let me pay for her. Perhaps it bothered me nominally, but considering my Best Friend would not have hesitated to have let me pay for her, it was also a welcome change of pace.

       The weather was beautiful. I chose yesterday specifically because it would be the coolest day we'd be getting all week and that it was. Warm sun, cool breezes, and plenty of shade (in the park at least). The park fountain was misting, creating a local rainbow, but snapping it was difficult because of the many children playing in the water. I didn't want to look like a creepy, potential pedophile so many beautiful shots were lost in my paranoia. But I was happy with the shot I took of us. For those of you who know where to see it, you get a good, genuine smile from me. I didn't regret our not speaking much and as I had told her, I was happy just to have the company to which she agreed. When we were talking, she's engaging and playful...endearing qualities but since my Best Friend asked, no, I didn't get the impression that she would want more from me than simple friendship. That's how I felt it, and that's okay, I'm cool with that though I'll admit I wouldn't mind otherwise in the slightest if not more so because she delights me. All the girls I've crushed on in the past have elicited a sense of wonder from me, and we all know how that has gone. I wonder if delight is a better starting point, or even a preferable one?

      But as the sun started to set, we took the subway back to the P.A. bus terminal (it was funny because we both were caught off-guard by the train's initial lurch. She accidentally jabbed me in my abdomen [and then several times on purpose while smiling] and commented that I have a hard belly whereas hers is soft. She guided my hand to her belly saying that. It was a cute moment.) and from there I went home, but not before Bronx walked me to the gate and we hugged goodbye. Again, it was not a firm hug, though this time I tried to do so. I notice stuff like that and add that to my understood list of reasons I believe Bronx is not looking for more from me than friendship. We agreed that we'd like to see each other again and I found ourselves both talking about future things together throughout our day. I felt comfortable around her and she, with me as well. I look forward to the next time. Hopefully, she'll be more alert and I'll actually have something we can do together.

      So, y'see. The negativity will have to wait. It's been coated in some goodness. I'll get back to it when it's worn off...