ONE MORE AND THEN I WILL GET TO WHAT I SUPPOSED TO HAVE DONE THREE HOURS AGO...

     OKCupid is doing a Christmas-themed gimmick sending me "12 Matches of Christmas"...one per day for twelve days. I was stunned...stunned I tells ya, that this site for the first time actually recommended someone for me whom I am interested in meeting, immediately attracted to, and within distance of - the trifecta. Usually I have found such women through my own searches. She's also the first woman on this site in my five months of being on it who made me go, "Whoa..." Thank goodness I liked her profile too :-)

There's no ID so it's okay to post this, right? :-P

      I hate when I'm put in a position where I would actually be saddened, even if only somewhat, should she not respond to my message cuz, well...goddamn. I need some good news because I am clearly very attracted to Number Twelve and I know I shouldn't be because despite the present benefit of her pulling me away ever so gently from Digby, it will come at the ultimate price of emotional doom. It grows inside me, manifesting as an evil* patience this time. Some days I really hate that my Heart is so patient. My Heart is entirely unable to understand that I will one day grow old and die. So...fingers crossed :-)


ADDENDUM: She did not respond to my message.

________________________________________
* I tend to use "evil" as a synonym for the kind of selfishness which requires the suffering/sadness of another in order for me to be happy. I have trouble accepting that a good relationship can be born of knowingly desiring to benefit from the misfortune of another. In this example, it would be one thing to ask out a girl who's single because her singledom is innocent from your perspective, but to wait for a girl's relationship to sour and end like a kind of vulture before making a move seems inherently wrong. I'm not explaining it well, but I'm hoping you get the point.

HEY! IT'S A CHRISTMAS-THEMED ENTRY...

      I think quite possibly the dumbest gift one could give to someone is a credit card sponsored gift card. Actually, I despise all gift cards as gifts for two main reasons. One, you're trading good money in for what amounts to irredeemable "fun money" and irredeemable in the sense that once your money has been transmuted into gift card form, it will not be returned...even trivial amounts like a few cents. Even on paper food stamps, you still got real money for any part of the change which was less than a dollar. And two...the sheer sad obligation it represents. It would seem better to receive nothing at all than to get what a gift card represents which is the gift-giver's admission that s/he knows not enough about you to buy you a gift with even the hint of the personal touch that a real gift carries. But whatever...one can rationalize store-sponsored gift cards somewhat, but I cannot rationalize the credit card sponsored ones for one simple reason:

      Activation fee. The $25, $50, and $100 gift cards come with a one-time $3.95 activation fee for the $25 card going up in one dollar increments for each successive version. The intention behind these gift cards is that "They can be used anywhere Visa/MasterCard/American Express are accepted." Yes, that's the lure...but you're paying money for money. How idiotic is that?

--- Hey honey! I just spent $28.95 on $25 for you!

--- Aw, you shouldn't have! No, really...you shouldn't have.

FAMILY MATTERS...

      I don't like going to see my Mom anymore. This actually isn't a new sentiment...I've felt it for several years now. I don't hate my Mom nor my stepfather nor my brother and his fiancée. I just don't feel like I belong with them anymore.

      It probably doesn't help that Mom has been living for like the past seven years now in a house I've never lived in so going home isn't going home at all. There are trinkets from our time together in places I would have called home, but it's not the same. I can't get comfortable in that house ever. I feel like I'm visiting some relative's house where you're not allowed to touch anything or the food available is stuff you never eat (in the bad way). I'm also so out of the loop in this household that I'm clearly the square peg being stuck into a round hole. I'm not like them at all. It's so much more stifling. The stuff they find funny doesn't really do it for me anymore. It's not that it isn't amusing, but it's like the difference between Louis CK (who is brutal and swears a lot) and Brian Regan (who is family friendly). They're both very good comics, but if you're of the Louis CK type, it's gonna be an uncomfortable experience and believe me, every time I do pipe in...if there is a wrong thing for me to say, I said it. Or to put it another way, imagine being the one Democrat in a house full of Republicans (or vice-versa). What's the point of offering an opinion if it is either going to be ignored or "wrong"? And then you get shit for not talking...no way to win.

      Even my cats are mostly gone. Only one remains of the three we got when I was in high school. There are two new ones now...more unfamiliarity, but they're not my cats, they're Mom and stepfather's cats. Sometime's I feel like the only reason I go to see my Mom at all is to see that cat and she's already seventeen so how much longer will that anchor remain?

       Mom already wants a Christmas list and I really don't want to provide one. I just don't want to bother anymore. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of the chore it is to go visit. I want to just drift away from that side of the family. I'm better with my Dad's side or at least I feel more welcomed so it's not like I want to shun everyone. Mom's side is like walking on eggshells and Dad's side, if I say something stupid, I will be called out on it then and there rather than "taken aside" hours later and quietly scolded. On Mom's side, I feel like I am allowed to have my opinions provided they are the right ones. I feel like I should not speak at all when around them because offense is internalized on that side and held like a grudge. If I avoid a subject at a gathering on my Dad's side, it is out of respect because I know where everyone stands on issues and we all want to have a good time. On Mom's side, offenses are strewn about like landmines so I avoid subjects out of fear. Visiting my Mom is stressful. If I could leave her home in the same mood in which I had arrived, it would be a miracle.

      It's stuff like this that makes me wonder if I am cowardly by nature or if my upbringing is more to blame. It's probably no coincidence that my discomfort with my Mom began not too many years after moving in with my Dad. I do not hold myself blameless in these confrontations but I refuse to accept that I am totally the asshole. I do not feel comfortable around my Mom, my stepfather, and my brother and haven't for a long time. Nowhere else do I feel this. My Best Friend's grandparents made me feel more at home and theirs truly was the house where you couldn't touch anything. I am just out-of-place with them. I don't want to deal with it anymore...

THOUGHTS I NORMALLY KEEP IN MY HEAD, part V

      I had this bizarre thought the other day for a creepy explanation as to the origin of Santa Claus. Santa's an elf as are his workers. Not the Tolkien-type elf of course, just some generic one. I'm not even sure if Santa has pointy ears as they tend to be hidden in his hair and cap. Of the many problems inherent in the Santa story, what of these elves? And Mrs. Claus always felt like an afterthought or someone shoehorned in later to the story to help reconcile certain things.

      Santa is posited as a magical being so what if the whole workshop thing were more like a bee colony? The elven workers are generally portrayed as male and they can be, it's not really important but they never seem to have real families, more like master/apprentice type relationships. What if they are all of the same mold and Santa is their queen? Santa is so fat because he is full of elf eggs (or larvae) which he lays and they subsequently hatch into worker elves. These elves are incapable of reproduction like worker bees. They're born knowing what they need to do and perhaps like bees, rotate through various duties.

      Santa is generally considered immortal and he may very well be...as a concept. Santa might eventually grow old and need to be replaced. At this point, a new Santa Claus queen might be born using a version of royal jelly, but of an elven variety as well as Mrs. Claus drone. The two mate, Mrs. Claus, having fulfilled her purpose then dies. And the new Santa Claus, full of elf eggs, takes over the duties of being the queen of a new horde of elf toymakers. The old Santa either dies, is killed, or wanders off into the cold North Pole lands to succumb to the environment and the tradition continues.

       While this doesn't explain the ultimate origin of Santa Claus, it does provide a sufficiently creepy tale to tell increasingly disillusioned children, no? ^_^

I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS SHIT, part XI (Christmas edition)

"Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney

This song gets shat on with some regularity whenever "annoying Christmas song" lists get generated. I've always loved this song. Unlike other Christmas-themed songs released in this modern age, this one feels like a genuine addition to the pantheon of Christmas songs like "Silver Bells", "Sleigh Ride", etc. It's simple, folksy-sounding, and easy to learn...all hallmarks of Christmas songs.

But I think the Pavlovian response I have to this song is what keeps it near and dear to my memory. Every Christmas Eve, we'd have the big Christmas celebration by Nan's house when all my Mom's side of the family would gather. Generally my brother and me kept away from the adults as kids and I continued doing this even as a teenager because I'm kind of a dick like that. But CBS-FM would be playing on the stereo downstairs playing holiday songs. I'd just be watching TV or whatnot with my brother, but once "Wonderful Christmastime" started playing, it suddenly felt like Christmas and that smile would appear either on my face or at the very least in my mind. I haven't had that kind of Christmas since 2000. It's been a long time. In 2001, an estranged uncle whom no one was on good terms with dropped by suddenly putting a damper on the festivities. 2002 Nan was in the hospital and 2003 she died two weeks prior. So now there's a hint of sadness of times long past in that song, but the spirit remains and for that, I'm glad.

Merry Christmas!

CHRISTMAS IS ALSO A NATIONAL HOLIDAY

      It's that time of year again for the so-called "Christmas Wars" and neither side does anything for me. I like Christmas, don't get me wrong. But where you may be getting ME wrong is in what I mean by "Christmas".

      For those of you who know me, I am irreligious. I also celebrate Christmas. Is that a contradiction? No, it isn't. It would only be a contradiction if I celebrated the Mass of Christ. I celebrate Commercial (or American) Christmas.

      Christmas is both a religious holiday and a national (Federal technically) holiday. If there's anything unfortunate about that, it's that they share the same name. They are different holidays and you can celebrate one or the other or both.

      And it is here where we meet the first of the two sides of this Christmas War debate that I can't stand: The Conflationists. The Conflationists are people who insist that commercial (or folklore) symbols like Santa Claus, flying reindeer, decorated pine trees, candy canes, giftgiving, Frosty the Snowman, stockings, glittering colored lights, etc. are somehow connected to the religious observance of the birth of Jesus Christ. They're not. They have NOTHING to do with one and other. These are usually the people who are suing their local towns and boroughs over their Christmas displays or the fact that they're even using the word Christmas saying that they're offensive to their religious beliefs or that it violates the separation of Church and State. It doesn't. Those are secular symbols of the national holiday of Christmas. If anything, you're offending me as an American by trying to get rid of such displays. Commercial Christmas is for everyone of all faiths, creeds, races, and ethnicities. The holiday's cool like that in the same way that Thanksgiving, Independence Day, and Veterans' Day is to name a few. Commercial Christmas has evolved a bit over the years but it is every part of American tradition as is Thanksgiving. We may deride it for its crass consumerism, but it is still a holiday about family and generosity to others (even if it's only reserved for people you know). The fact that "Christ" is in the name is merely a coincidence as far as I'm concerned. It would probably be more rightly referred to as "Yule" but the songs have already been written so deal with it. Commercial Christmas can be celebrated by Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Shintoists, atheists, and everyone else I've left out because it's an AMERICAN holiday. You celebrate the coming together of family and goodwill towards men as AMERICANS, not as Christians and whatnot. So, to all the Conflationists who ignorantly insist that Santa Claus is somehow Jesus in a red suit...shut the fuck up. You don't know what you're talking about and you're only hurting people with your rhetoric. Now if there's a Nativity scene or a menorah or other religious symbols in this public display, that's different and yes, on the basis of the First Amendment, such displays should be removed from public lands.

      The other side of the debate are The Shoehorners. These are religious Christians (and to a lesser extent Jews) who will offer up convoluted explanations for the commerical symbols of Christmas to show that they are in fact, religious symbols before arguing that we need to return to a purer observance one of the high holy Christian holidays. They are essentially the same as the Conflationists but are coming at the argument from a different angle. Instead of seeing two separate celebrations, they see only one and feel that the birth of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ must be a part of it (or in the case of the menorah displays, that we have to show regard for all religions or none at all). Sometimes it's really crass too. If you haven't heard the song in a while, give a listen to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". However, the Shoehorners don't bother me nearly so much as the Conflationists because at least they're not trying to take away from people's celebration of Christmas, they just want those celebrations in the public square to be of a more religious nature (and not even necessarily a wholly religious one - it sometimes really feels like a "Hey! Don't forget about me!" nature). The problem that arises from this group is that their ignorance of (and possible refusal to accept) the national version of the holiday only serves to fuel the fiery passions of the Conflationists.

      This all follows along basic historical trends. It's been pointed out many times that the birth of Christ could not possibly have happened on December 25th. The descriptions in the Bible tend to point more towards sometime in March. The truth is, we'll never know. Early Christianity was not particularly concerned with birth days. The important day was the day a saint was martyred or ascended into Heaven. Jesus's birth wasn't even celebrated early in this country. The Puritans didn't care for it and early Congresses even met on Christmas Day and thought nothing of it. The reason that the birth of Christ is celebrated when it is was not based on ignorance but rather strategy. All the old pagan religions put significance on the solstices and equinoxes. The Winter Solstice festivals were particularly important as it was a celestial bottom. The days from then on would grow longer and warmth would soon return. Now if you're a relatively new and easily persecuted religion, you don't go around celebrating your festivals on conspicuous days and conspicuous here will be defined as "you're the only ones celebrating something". No, you do it when something else is going on or you co-opt symbols in those festivals or both. For the Vernal Equinox, they were serving pastry buns already so putting a drizzle in the shape of a cross won't hurt. It's both branding and artistic. Celebrating the birth of your Lord and Savior during Saturnalia (Rome's Winter Solstice festival) helped to not make you stand out so much which is important when you're not in a favorable position with the State.

      The same thing would happen again later but this time with the commercial version. It too co-opted an existing holiday and placed their own symbols in it alongside it so as to brand itself. Considering the holiest of Christian holidays, the Resurrection has also been commercialized and symbolized with a hare bearing decorated eggs, it could very well have been business interests trying to widen their sales bases back in the day. And like with Christmas, this holiday has its Conflationists and Shoehorners too. That I honestly don't know and am truly speculating...but then, so are all my rants here: unresearched rambling :-)

      Either way, stop telling me I can't celebrate (Commercial) Christmas in schools and public squares you unAmerican douchebags!

ADDENDUM: I suppose it could also be argued that there must be two separate Christmases anyway since it is in fact a Federal holiday and has been so since 1870. If the First Amendment prohibits the Federal government from endorsing any particular religion, then the Federal holiday of Christmas must be a secular one or else it would be unConstitutional, right? That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. :-) Even though it was very likely that it was rooted in the Christian holy day, it has clearly since changed. "In God We Trust" was added to this nation's coins in 1864 for clearly religious reasons, but the motto has since been ruled to be a form of "ceremonial deism" which is considered to be not a religious endorsement by the Supreme Court. So the way I take it is that something can start off on the wrong foot in this country, it can come to mean something else, and then later not be judged for its original intent but rather by its current meaning. Therefore, American Christmas is a secular holiday which can celebrated by all.

Merry Christmas EVERYBODY °<|:-D>

GOING TO THE BANK USED TO BE FUN...

      Searching through rolls of half-dollars has been very disheartening lately...

      I remember reading years ago (2003 to be precise) about people searching rolls of half dollars and finding older silver coins that have long since vanished from general circulation. I'll still find the occasional silver dime of the Roosevelt variety (1946-1964) and more rarely, a silver Washington quarter (1932-1964) but I had never thought to go a bank and ask for rolls of the coins to do the same thing.

     I got started as both a goof and because I was curious. The people I work with would say that people don't like half-dollars but couldn't offer up any evidence of this since we don't generally give them out so I started bringing in the half dollars I didn't want and gave them out in change to general success. I get about the same rejection rate for half dollars as I do with any other coin/currency...about 2%. Sometimes the customer wants two quarters instead (often offering up a "reason" like I really need to hear one...I seriously don't give a fuck what your reason is) but then again, sometimes a customer wants two fives instead of the ten I gave them so should I conclude that customers don't want ten dollar bills either? No, so I don't take the rejection of half dollars as a referendum against the coin and because of this, I now had a venue through which I could dispose my unwanted coins.

      Yes, I COULD HAVE returned the unwanted coins to the bank, but that defeats the purpose of what I'm doing. If I give them back, odds are high that I'll re-receive coins which I have already rejected. I need to go through new ones to find out if indeed there still are silver coins among them.

      With all that set up, I started buying about $200 a month in half dollars. At first, I got nothing. Occasionally, a 40% silver Kennedy half (1965-1970); but nothing else. A few months in, I got a 1964 Kennedy (90% silver) but that seemed to be the best I could hope for. The tales of Franklin (1948-1963) and Walking Liberty (1916-1947) halves seemed to be an elusive fantasy. It took until October 2003 when I first hit paydirt. I got a Franklin Half and a Walking Liberty one. The next month, I even got a 1906-O Barber half dollar (1892-1915)! And thus it was like this most of the time until 2008: I would get between 1-3 silver halves per $200 with occasional 40% silver halves.

      2005 was my best year when I got four solid rolls of silver halves including one with mixed silvers from 1937-1963...an original undisturbed 40+ year old roll...truly fucking awesome. But by mid-2008, the supplies dried up. I went over a year before getting four more this year...but that's been it, not even 40% halves. I've been finding the occasional impaired proof, but that's it. I can't help but feel like they're all gone now from my area. It sucks...and it's discouraging.

      I know I should be happy that I'm even finding these coins at all, but it's still makes time pass slowly thinking that my next trip to the bank will be wasted too. It's also frustrating because I've managed to find over 50% of the total Franklin half series (35 date and mintmark combinations) only to have the hopes of completing the series from circulation stalled. I've even gotten a fair number of the Walking Liberty half "short set" (1941-1947)...that's stalled now too. Even the appearance of impaired proofs has stalled. This whole experience is wearing me down emotionally.

      People ask me what I want for Christmas every year. I have so little space left for new things so I suggest they go to banks in their areas doing what I've been doing. You never know what might turn up! But they never do it for me. I would love to think one of their local community banks has a few solid rolls of silver halves just waiting to be taken off their hands for face value. Sigh...

ADDENDUM: This January 2011, I got seven Franklin halves in various rolls including one new date (1949-D). I'm hoping this will be the start of a good year for roll-searching.

NEVER MEME OF DYING

 I found this on Electronic Cerebrectomy's blog...

1. My favorite genre of game
I would say Action games. I like my video games to only take about an hour to win at most.

2. Favorite Games
Arcade : TMNT, Galaga, Defender, Metal Slug, Samurai Shodown IV
Atari2600 : Laser Blast, Seaquest, Super Breakout, Asteroids, Circus Atari
Atari5200 : Missile Command, Vanguard, Space Invaders, Joust, Mario Bros.
NES : Megaman 2, Tetris, Metroid, Blaster Master, The Legend of Zelda
Game Boy : TMNT, Nemesis, Castlevania, Metroid II,
SNES : Super Mario All-Stars, Gradius III, Axelay, Super Metroid, Super Mario Kart
Genesis : Thunder Force III, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Road Rash, Splatterhouse 2

3. My hated game(s)
I didn't buy games that I didn't like so I don't have an answer to this

4. My favorite minion enemies
The Kemlus Snake from Vanguard (an unusual enemy that gave you 1090 bonus points if it captured you, but it only worked three times); every minor enemy in Turok: Dinosaur Hunter because you could keep "killing" them over and over again with grenades (they'd arc through the air screaming and leaving a trail of blood even though they were already dead. It was an entertaining glitch to exploit when using unlimited ammo cheat codes); the Nazi-esque soldiers of Metal Slug, especially when they'd laugh over your dead body and then scream (and try to run away) when your character reappeared; the Ironknuckles from Zelda II were fun to fight; the changing Invaders in the Atari5200 version of Space Invaders

5. My Most Hated minion enemies
The Pterodactyl from Joust; the Big Eye from Megaman; the Hammer Brothers from Super Mario Bros., the Reapers from Kid Icarus; the Hunchback from Castlevania; the Red Devil from Ghosts 'n Goblins; the Red Bubble and blue Wizzrobes from The Legend of Zelda; the Eagle from Ninja Gaiden --- later systems tended to lack those truly asshole enemies. It seems like they were more fixated on graphics than challenge; the Revenants from Doom II, not because they were hard but because I didn't like that they shot rockets at you. When they get close, they punch and kick you which is fine enough. The game needed more enemies that didn't shoot. Too many of them did.

6. My Favorite Enemies (Bosses)
The Regenertoid (Stage 3 Axelay); the Yellow Devil from Megaman is fun to fight; The area 4 boss in Contra III was another good fight where missiles are being fired into the boss and you have to hop from one to another firing at its core before the missiles are destroyed otherwise you fall to your death; Gond of Vanguard because I think it was the first game I had ever played with a boss

7. My Most hated Enemies (Bosses)
The Level 5 boss in Raiden II - it just does not die and fires a fuckload of fast-moving large bullets that are almost impossible to fly through and in a game with no shields and you lose everything you've accumulated when you die...it proves frustrating; The Grim Reaper in Castlevania since its sickles appear and move randomly on the screen even after the boss is killed and by this point in the game, you can only take four hits before dying; the Area 6 boss in Blaster Master - it's a souped-up version of the Area 2 boss: it has longer arms and shoots these fast-moving projectiles that do twice as much damage. It's hard to get close enough to do damage (though easy to kill if you cheat); Bacterion from Gradius III because it's practically impossible NOT to beat him: in fact, if you take too long, he'll kill himself!...very anticlimactic for a final boss

8. Most Loved Good Character
Megaman

9. Most hated good-character
Alucard from Castlevania III. He sounds cool and all since he can turn into a bat and fly around the game's many obstacles but his fireballs are incredibly weak even when powered up. Better off sticking with Grant DaNasty or even Syfa :-)

10. Most Memorable Game
The most memorable game I bought was Megaman. I remember being in Toys R Us with Dad looking for the game Dragon Warrior but they were sold out. Dad, not even knowing I liked the series, wondered if I would like this game. I saw he was pointing to the original Megaman, a game I thought I would never own. I wonder what drew Dad's attention to it considering the game's notoriously awful cover art?

Tetris is the game I was most happy to receive. Nan filled me in with the story on what must've been Christmas Eve 1989. My Uncle was the one who got the game. It must've been one of the last presents I opened and apparently I was very grateful that someone had remembered :-)

Of the games I never asked for that I ended up liking, Rygar for the NES I think was the best - awesome music and graphics with interesting enemies. It was one of the three NES games my brother and me got when we received the Nintendo for Christmas

Samurai Shodown IV makes me think of the gang at college and also the first arcade game I ever won :-)

Galaga was the first arcade game I ever got good at and TMNT was the first arcade game I was ever excited to play every time I saw the cabinet ANYWHERE

11. Least Memorable Game
Some stealth fighter game we got for Christmas that neither of us asked for. It got boring quickly. Golf for the Atari2600 was tedious.

12. Favorite segment of a game
The destruction of the Level 1 boss in Raiden II...it makes for a very satisfying thump :-); Stage 2 from Axelay has some awesome visuals; the "bonus" levels of Lemmings were uniquely designed and had special music. They were generally easier than any of the other levels so they acted as a breather level before getting back into the hard shit; the fire background effect for the Gorgon stage (2:50 in) in Thunderforce III is cool-looking

13. Least favorite segment of a game
Any Lemmings level that relies too much on luck or overly precise timing rather than skillful problem-solving with Mayhem 29 being the best example of this. The level is hard as fuck already taking over six minutes to complete. The problem is right at the end: two metal blocks that stick out only by a pixel so the falling lemming only walks on for less than a moment. Mistime the mouse click and you have to do it all over again. The fact that you have to do it twice makes it all the more infuriating. Lemmings 2 abounds in these kinds of levels too...unfortunately; Stage 4 in the NES TMNT had these instant-death spike walls closing in for three segments and your turtle had to drop down these narrow gaps. Miss one and you'll never make it; Any game that makes you spend oodles of time building experience points in pointless battles like Zelda II; and any adventure game that artificially limits where you can go and when early on. I liked how you didn't have to go through the dungeons in order in The Legend of Zelda. It's not smart to go to Level 3 first, but you COULD. Every other Zelda game prevents this. Dragon Warrior let you wander into territory with monsters way more powerful than you could fight; and most importantly...every Mortal Kombat game in the arcade. How the fuck were we supposed to figure out the key combinations for the Fatalities? How frustrating was it to win the match only to be completely impotent with your flailing opponent? Plus the computer often didn't perform the fatality on YOU when you lost. How cheap. You'd think it'd be the least the game could do to make your losing worthwhile. Plus, no special Goro fatality for your character? Ugh...

14. Most loved storyline
Honestly, I have never really played games with real storylines. I guess I would have to say the Ninja Gaiden series by default.

15. Favorite secret/easter egg/cheat
Infinite shield recharge for Nova 9; the Konami code for 30 guys in Contra and Life Force (I like how it backfired in Gradius III. If you used the code, your ship self-destructed!); pausing Blaster Master while damaging the bosses of Areas 4, 6, and 7 allowed them to keep taking damage until they died (especially helpful in Area 6); saving the animals who helped you out in Super Metroid before Zebes self-destructs was cute

16. How many games you've think you've played in your life
Probably over a hundred

17. How many games you (think) you own?
Unfortunately I no longer have the Atari2600 and Atari5200 systems. Of what I have left, I'd say between 50 and 75 cartridges

18. Favorite Weapon
Although not strong, I liked the concept of the "toothpaste beam" in Raiden II; the Metal Blade from Megaman 2 (this game made good use of the bosses' weapons throughout the stages unlike Mega Man III and up where they were basically only good against the bosses and not the stages - though I should take that back as I've seen videos recently on YouTube which show weapons from Megaman III and IV being used quite effectively throughout); the Spreader gun in Contra; the boomerang in Castlevania and Castlevania III; although an ineffective weapon overall, the Shockwave Weapon in Turok Dinosaur Hunter was fun to kill weak enemies with. When you hit them, they froze in place with this electrical effect around them and darkened before suddenly exploding

18a. Least Favorite Weapon
I felt I should add this one. I'll give it to Link's sword beam from Zelda II. It was completely worthless. First of all, it only travelled halfway across the screen before evaporating and secondly, it only hurt a few enemies like the bots and moglins, never the ones that such a distance shot might be helpful against. In the original game, having the sword beam was hardly a game-breaker...it was more of a relief that you didn't have to fight so dangerously close to the Like-Likes, Wizzrobes, and Darknuts.

The Megaman series is rife with these as well. The Gutsman technique, the Time Stopper from Flashman (you couldn't fire your weapon when using it), the Top Spin and Spark Shock (it froze enemies, but you couldn't switch back to your arm cannon to finish them off like you could with the Ice Slasher), the Rain Flush, etc. etc. etc.

19. Favorite spell/power
I didn't play RPGs so magic spells rarely applied. My favorite though (by default I suppose) was the "Hurt" spell from Dragon Warrior. Probably the most appropriately named spell ever. :-)

20. Hardest boss you've ever beaten
I generally find the stages in games to be harder than the battles themselves at the end. I guess, as a kid, Dracula from Castlevania would count [no pun intended] since it took me quite a while to defeat him. --- The three-eyed crab guarding the Dive module in Area 5 of Blaster Master gave me a lot of trouble growing up. I can defeat him no problem now but as a kid, I needed the NES advantage for both slow-motion and turbo to beat him. --- I could probably also add Shao Kahn from Mortal Kombat 2 since I can only defeat him with Kitana and Baraka.

Nowadays, I have to make games harder on purpose by trying to win with lesser weapons and such. Using that metric, I would have to say Elecman and Iceman from Megaman are the hardest. I've beaten them, but I still can't defeat them using only the arm cannon. --- I could also add the final bosses from Double Dragon, but I've never defeated them without the Game Genie giving me all sorts of extra lives and using the NES advantage for turbo.

21. Easiest boss you've ever beaten
Bacterion from Gradius III goes down with barely a fight as does Zelos from Life Force. I think it's actually a tradition in the Gradius games to make the final boss be a pushover for some reason. --- The red Gohma guarding the Triforce piece in the Level-6 dungeon from the Legend of Zelda goes down with a single arrow. In fact if you shoot the arrow the moment you enter the room, you'll beat him before he fires a single shot.

22. Favorite System
The original Nintendo Entertainment System. It wasn't my first system nor was it the last but so many good memories have come from it :-)

23. Favorite gaming controller
I think the SNES controller demonstrated the maximum number of buttons one could comfortably fit upon a single controller. It allowed for arcade games like Street Fighter II to be adapted and it gave just enough control options to make other games useful. Also, unlike the Playstation controller, the Y and X buttons were concave and the B and A buttons were convex allowing for tactile differentiation.

24. Best Level Design
For aesthetics, I'll give it to Axelay for the SNES for its numerous creative backgrounds and stage elements of which Stages 2 and 3 excelled. The Casino Zone from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was pretty cool-looking as well. --- For challenge, Super Mario Bros. "The Lost Levels" still makes me curse quite a lot. Several levels in Lemmings and Oh No! More Lemmings featured rather creative puzzles to solve.

25. Console or PC
While PCs are better for graphics and complexity, almost all my gaming memories are from consoles

26. Scariest moment in gaming
I remember jumping when the giant Bot appears out of nowhere and without warning in the final castle in Zelda II :-)

27. Most suspenseful moment in gaming
Whenever I'm in a new area on my last life, last continue, low on energy [or sometimes all three]. Knowing you're in a room full of traps doesn't help either. :-)

DAY 6 - WHATEVER TICKLES YOUR FANCY

I hate when the choice is mine. That's not my strongsuit... Not in the slightest. A blank page is incredibly difficult for me to create on. It's either an ability which has been lost or withered from disuse or simply suppressed through shame. But no matter what the reason, pulling things from the void is a frustrating experience. Throw in any limitation, any boundary, and it becomes that much easier to work with. Mine is a mind whose strength comes from bounded infinities, not unbounded ones. So, on a day like this (and the other days in this meme where I will choose something for my own to do), I will face difficulties. However, this one is overcomeable simply because I can enforce my own limitation: I will base today's entry on one of the previous ones.

Seeing as how it is almost Christmas, I will choose today my favorite Christmas song. And that is "Marshmallow World" as performed by Darlene Love off the album A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector; an album, which in my opinion, contains many of the definitive versions of the Christmas songs we are subjected to each and every year.


"Marshmallow World" as performed by Darlene Love
ADDENDUM: I take that back... I just found my new favorite Christmas song:


"Must Be Santa" as performed by Bob Dylan
(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 23, 2009)

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT THE CHRISTMAS TREE SHOP SELLS VIRTUALLY NONE OF...

I went out shopping yesterday because I decided that I would actually like to decorate my room a little bit for Christmas. I have this small dresser that is perfectly suited for placing an artificial tree between three and four feet tall upon. When we were living together, my Best Friend had just such a tree. I figured the best place to go would be The Christmas Tree Shop because well, it's in the title...it feels rather obvious don't you think? One of their stores is just across the highway from the Mall...just in range. I set out and got lucky in one sense: About a third of the way there, my friend Shortii saw me, picked me up and took me the rest of the way saving me some wear and tear on my li'l footsies.

I get there and am greeted by the Salvation Army bellringers, none of whom were being pushy so I told myself that I would get to them on the way out. I go inside the Christmas Tree Shop and am immediately taken by an obvious lack of Christmas trees available for sale. Mind you, this is December 8th so it's not too late in the season for me to think I ought to be able to find one. Their selection of small table trees was pitiful at best. For a store calling itself The Christmas Tree Shop, you would think it would be a little more heavily weighted in Christmas-themed offerings. I know such a store could not survive the rest of the year on such a theme, but this is not the rest of the year...this is Christmas goddamnit!

Anyways, the tabletop trees they were offering were of a truly shitty quality and all were "pre-lit". I DON'T WANT LIGHTS IN MY TREE! Why is simplicity so fucking difficult to find these days? I have no outlet for such a tree and even if I did, I have no desire to light it up anyway. I just want a simple, somewhat realistic-looking artificial tree whose branches are strong enough to hold up a heavier-than-normal ornament. I cannot find such a thing. I'm not gonna buy the peripherals without the centerpiece.

I left the Christmas Tree Shop, put $20 in the Salvation Army pot, and went to the adjacent stores Ikea and Bed Bath & Beyond. No luck in either store. The first of two patterns that I had noticed in all my (attempts at) shopping were that all these stores offer a wide selection of peripherals: ornaments, wreaths, lights, wrapping paper, candles, holly, wintery themes, snowglobes, etc. but the tree selection was shit: poor quality, pre-lit (I saw one with fiber-optic branches), or with crap in it like artificial poinsettia flowers or glitter that I don't want either.

Since the Mall was across the way, I went there and learned again that pedestrians are truly the scum of the earth for urban planners. I don't get why sidewalks are on the bridges themselves (and usually on only one side too which strikes me as odd), but once you're off the bridge, they disappear. At best, there's a guardrail I can walk behind on muddy grass next to the road...otherwise, it's a shoulder. And while I get that phony courtesy from drivers on lightly-travelled suburban roads -- you know, when the driver waves you to cross when they're the ones with the right of way or they signaled their intent to turn so I stopped at the corner waiting for them to turn...but they let me go anyway. I fucking hate that...JUST GO!!! I'm not in a hurry, I'm walking...it kind of implies leisurely. Just go and don't give me your bullshit kindness -- That "courtesy", however, completely disappears when near the Mall. A pedestrian is the equivalent of a hamburger wrapper caught in the breeze floating across the street. Light's green on your side? They don't give a fuck. A gap wide enough for you to finally cross through opens up? Eh...I'll make my turn now and make you keep waiting. Crossing the street on the clear? They don't give a shit, they're turning right in front of you, missing you sometimes by inches. I had that happen in my old apartment...it threw my mind for such a loop that the only "rational" response I was capable of was desiring to throw a rock at that car like an angry monkey. The side-view mirror came within six inches of me and he crossed in front of me while turning off from the main road onto the side road I was still crossing. But I've digressed...

In the Mall, I checked out J.C. Penney's, got distracted by a Christmas-themed temporary store, and then went in Macy's where I had originally planned to go before happening on the Christmas Tree Shop idea. Nothing. And here I stumbled upon the other pattern: All of these stores had higher quality store decoration trees than the ones they were offering for sale to their customers. I don't get that at all. Macy's actually had what was probably one notch below what I was looking for (the needles could've looked better). It was definitely acceptable, I would've bought it. Problem? Store decoration...not for sale. What they were offering? A far inferior product... I don't get it. I really don't.

On the way home, I checked out the local CVS out of desperation...nothing. I went to National Wholesale Liquidators...no table top trees. I finally went to the Home Depot. The Home Depot had a surprisingly large selection of trees, both real and fake. Home Depot had a far superior selection of trees than did the Christmas Tree Shop which, quite honestly, I find inherently wrong... Home Depot came close. I was tired. I was ready to accept even a pre-lit tree but again, I could not find not only what I was looking for, but not even something approximating what I was looking for. Annoyed and disappointed, I went to the local pizza place, bought a pie, and went home to watch Tora! Tora! Tora! like I was supposed to on the seventh.

I'll just have to try online...but this is really something that needs to be checked out in person before buying. Sigh... I just don't get it. Simplicity is probably the hardest thing to find. I remember when my CD player's laser broke, trying to replace the unit was difficult. I wanted a player that had as few moving parts as possible. That meant it just held one CD at a time...none of this multi-CD stuff. I wanted a cassette player on it, a radio, and an auxiliary port since I had just recently purchased an XM radio. I also wanted all the functions to be on the unit itself and for it to have as few bells and whistles as possible. I don't need a graphics equalizer with actual graphics; I don't need a clock; just a simple stereo system. I ended up, in frustration, getting one that came with a remote. The unit itself, has every function except, for some reason, a button to access the auxiliary port. You need the remote to do that. So now I keep a remote around simply so I can listen to my XM. It's also impossible to program a CD without the remote either. I don't get it...why is that so hard? WHY DOES EVERYTHING COME WITH A FUCKING REMOTE CONTROL?!! But I digress.....

ADDENDUM: This is the result of all my stress. I spent the following Monday looking for tinsel to wrap the tree with. Again, I found nothing at mall but this time, my desperate bid at CVS actually paid off and CVS was thus duly awarded with additional purchases of wrapping paper and tree ornaments.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 9, 2009)

I'M STARTING TO THINK SHE'S THE WICKED QUEEN...

I'm being punished right now. I was invited to my Best Friend's grandparents (by her parents) for a New Year's Day dinner. Instead, I'm composing on That Other Journal while eating Ritz crackers instead of the planned turkey dinner. About a half hour before we were supposed to leave, my Best Friend was showing me pictures that she had taken last night with her new friend Tank Girl trying to get my opinion, but not of whether the picture is good, well-taken, properly lit or framed, or anything artistically critical -- no, the goal was whether or not she (Best Friend) was the best-looking in the picture. That went expectedly -- no real arguments. Thanks to Tank Girl, my Best Friend got exposed to the kind of wealth and status that she feels she deserves...good for her to finally have a friend she can use with useful connections. Somehow, me telling her about how I'm uncomfortable around that kind of wealth and saying that I'd probably never visit her if she lived in the kind of mansion she described morphed into her putting down my Brother's Fiancée (there are definitely some steps leading up to this...I can't remember them all...I remember it having to do with beauty again). My Best Friend has a problem with girls in general and is especially jealous of girls who get a lot of attention but aren't as pretty as she is. She's kinda okay with being compared to Little Doll as she finds her of comparable attractiveness. She, however, finds my Brother's Fiancée decidedly not so.

I didn't exactly defend her wisely, I'll admit. But still, by putting my Brother's Fiancée down, she's putting my Brother down and I'm not gonna stand for that. After my Best Friend criticized her looks and personality (all from one meeting during my birthday), I pointed out that my Brother's Fiancée's personality is much better than hers and that a strong personality trumps looks (like my Best Friend's) every time. I said that if they both went out together that while initially my Best Friend would probably get the attention, that by the end of the night, my Brother's Fiancée would be surrounded (and that she would be alone -- never got to get that part out as I would now be getting yelled at until the front door slammed -- I say front door like we have more than one way out of this apartment). I do admit to saying that my Best Friend has a horrible personality (by which I meant that she's way too into herself, selfish, and ungiving -- never got to explain that either...not that it woulda helped anything).

I think at this point, all her words would be yelled at me and that I was silent. She told me she doesn't need friends like me (I bit my tongue and didn't tell her that I'm her friend, but that she's not mine -- I can't talk to her...I don't ever remember being able to) and that because of what I had said, that I would not be going to her grandparents' home for dinner (like she was the one who invited me) so I got undressed, back into my pajamas, got some Ritz and a Pepsi, and started this entry.

ADDENDUM: I never got my computer chair for Christmas. I doubt I'll ever get one now unless I pay for it. Before today, though, she didn't want to get the ones she was looking at because they were expensive (that is, over $100). She, to my face, said that she was gonna get something cheaper (never mind that I paid almost $170 for a camera, which was practically extortion money to begin with as I was tired of her using mine and that she has only once ever gotten me anything for Christmas).

And since I'm mad, anyone interested in defending her should note that my Best Friend has insulted each and every one of you here. I'm not gonna repeat it here but you should be able to infer it. So to all my weird, ugly, loser friends...and the married one whom I'm having an affair with, goodnight! (oh did I just say that?)

One of these days, I'll make an entry about the things I actually like about my Best Friend even to this day, but not today.

(originally posted to That Other Journal on January 1, 2009)

NATHAN EXPLOSION AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON TREY PARKER...

Okay, I thought I was going to Mom's straight after work. I was wrong so I will be online (at least until my sleeping pill kicks in!) today. In the meantime, please enjoy the following. This has become my new favorite Christmas song.

This is easily the most brutal song I've ever heard. It's both totally true and worth heeding and oh! is it uncomfortable. Enjoy!


"Dead Dead Dead" by Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics
Merry Chris'mas everybody!

(originally posted to That Other Journal on December 24, 2008)