The Laundry Girl (I'm presuming she'll get a more flattering alias in the future :-P ) responded to my e-mail and we're now "friends" on Facebook. I'm finding myself doing everything possible to remain positive which is, needless to say, incredibly difficult seeing as how I am quite nervous...and WAY out of practice...twelve years out of practice to be precise. Nervousness on my part tends to lead to pessimism at worse and cautious optimism at best. The girl is definitely pretty and we seem to have enough superficial interests to keep at least initial conversations going and I imagine those conversations will tend on the funny side as it is quite evident from her profile that she's got a good sense of humor. If anything, I'm just happy I passed the once-over test. I don't necessarily feel any better about my physical appearance but I cannot now feel any worse about it so...win? This is the best chance I've had since Digby 2½ years ago and the most realistic one since The Vegan back in college.
I hate this part. I don't want to fail but victory means successfully challenging ingrained behaviors geared toward keeping me down and somehow getting it right the first time...that Billy Joel song really is my theme song, isn't it? :-)
Even at this early point, I'm realizing just how used to it I am, being strictly friends with girls. I feel the powerful censor of my mind keeping me from saying flirtatious things. I wonder how (and if) that will be overcome in me? I'm certainly not used to being "allowed" to think that way about girls. Yes, I've wanted to think that way but every Potential has never quite worked out. I guess for now, fingers crossed...
No comments:
Post a Comment