The essence of conservativism is the desire to return to a previous state of being. I think we all "suffer" from this longing, do we not? Is there no time in your life that you wish could be again? The internet fans the flames of nostalgia daily and I will admit that I find myself longing at times to return to periods like the 1980s and 1990s...those "simpler" times...those "better" times. But were they? And at what cost?
The 1980s is simple. I was a child. So saying I wish to return to the '80s is merely a wish to relive my childhood. A life of simple schooling, playing outside, Atari & Nintendo, boredom, Cartoon Express & Nickelodeon, train sets, and general goofing off. The real world was shielded from me by my parents. No real work because it was being done by my parents. Food and snacks were always around. Good times paid for out of ignorance.
The 1990s were my teenage years. Saying I wish to return to those years is a reflection of my desire to feel infatuation again for the first time; to explore more sophisticated forms of creativity like drawing, computer programming, and making up languages; to hear the music of "my era" as it was being made rather than as the poseur I am now (I do like the music of the 1990s, but I shunned it at the time in favor of the 1970s and 1980s music that my parents listened to...I blame it on a lack of peer pressure and friends); to relive college and get it "right" this time; to take part in the emerging internet as it happened; and again, to live in a time where I didn't have to work and keep house. My "job" was school and my willful ignorance kept me largely unaware of the world around me.
Purely selfish motives. Now in my approaching middle age I might think these eras were also somehow better, or at least more understandable. I know I could certainly navigate technologically better in the 1990s and even more so in the 1980s. Hell, I would appreciate the 1970s for its understandability as well.
But I guess what keeps me from fulling embracing conservativism is knowing that a return to those simpler times means also a return to times where groups of people are increasingly marginalized by society and with tacit (if not legislative) approval by said society. Going back means turning up the hatred on homosexuals (it's amazing how even revered '80s movies would casually drop fag(got) into the scripts...it's uncomfortable to watch now), decreasing women's rights (or eliminating them if you go back far enough), restoring blacks to second-class citizenry (at best), and so on. As Louis CK joked, going back in time is only good if you're a white male.
As much as the future can frighten me and as much as I feel the pace of technological and sociological change is increasing faster than I can keep up with it, going back to an earlier era is basically just me (or anyone wishing to do so) being all-too-willing to sacrifice whole groups of people because I fear, what? Obsolescence? Irrelevance? My impending death?
I guess at best I could become a retired liberal. One day I will simply end my active fighting for progress and instead just passively let it happen because they won't be my generation's battles anymore. I may not be happy about the changes the future will bring, but that doesn't mean I have to oppose them. I figure if you're going to be conservative, be so not in the temporal sense of "the past was better" but that of "let's proceed with caution" or "let's build a consensus before committing to this idea". At least that's how I intend to do it. I'll restrict my "past was better" thinking for fantasy only because condemning whole groups of people and ways of life simply for my comfort seems...just wrong.
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